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Im needing help
hi my name is donna and like so many of you are scared to death and dont know what to do.i see a pain management dr for my problems and im prescribed 150 30 milligrams a month and i cannot make them last,,im so addicted to them now that im hunting after maybe 2 weeks...i know i gotta come off and have been nplanning on it for awhile but the time is just never right,,im terrified of the withdrawls,ive been through it before and i ended up in the hospital with chest pains and blood pressure so high i really thought i was gonna die,,,,im so scared,,,been looking at the thomas recipe but i will have to taper first i cannot just stop 200 milligrams a day,ive tapered before and i want to so bad again,,right now i sleep on a couch,,i told my husband when we get our taxes and get a big comfy bed to put in our room then i can really maybe try the recipe,,,comfort and support and maybe,,,hes great he has my back no matter what it is i need,,,,our taxes come soon,,so please think of me i will need all the support i can get,,,im coming off some high doses,,but i have to,,i just do,,love to all..every single one of you are always in my thoughts
hi it donna again,,today i am starting a slow taper,,,ivetried before and i didi ok,,i should have taken advantage of it and kept going,,but i just couldnt,,so im going again,,,my body is accepting the lower dose,,im justso tired and not any energy,,i cant get out to do anything,,so i decieded thats how i will do it,,just staying in my house all locked up watching tv,till i get used to the lower dose,,god i hope i do,,so far today i am proud of myself,,if all goes well and i slowly get down then i wont be so scared to detox,,right now the thought ofit makes my heart race,,pleaselet this taper work,,i want to off sooooo bad,,,,i never in my life thoughtid be 51 years old and so addicted to painmeds,,its a nightmare i cant get out of,,,,but starting today with this maybe just maybe there is hope for this gramma,,,thanks
Hi fellow Gramma,
Originally Posted by donnalum
I just found this post today, as I haven't had the chance to spend time on this site recently. I saw the "51 year old gramma" and my heart went out to you. I'm a 53 year old gramma - and I can promise you, there IS hope. You can learn to live without relying upon a pill. And I can assure you, every aspect of your life will improve with that recovery.
I see this post was from a few days back, so how is it going with the tapering? Are you continuing to taper? It is not easy for us as addicts to taper off our pills, as the very basis of addiction is the loss of control. ( I can tell you this - I couldn't do it! ) What I suggest to you is that you set up a plan with your husband - and give the pill bottle to your husband, have him hide it as well as he possibly can, and write out a plan for how and when he dispenses the pills to you. And he has to stay STRONG to all the excuses, begging and other manipulations to get more!
You have a disease, just as I do. This disease can kill us, and the last thing we need to do is berate ourselves for "allowing it to happen." We didn't know. We didn't realize what was happening, and we didn't know how to stop it. So bashing ourselves is really just wasting our energy and resources. Now, the goal is to chase recovery with all the passion and energy that you sought out the pills - and that will spell success.
I urge you to get yourself to some NA (or AA or Celebrate Recovery) meetings - and just sit and listen. If I hadn't made my meetings a part of each day early on, I do not believe I could have stayed clean and sober. Now, many years into recovery, I do not need to attend frequent meetings - but in the beginning, the help of a 12-step program was essential to me.
You can attend meetings while still using the pills. All that is suggested for attending is "the desire to stop using." So many folks do attend meetings while they are trying to stop. I certainly did. Even in my foggy, confused mind, I knew where I needed to be! In time, those meetings became my home - and the others in my group were like family. We were all fighting the same demon.
I hope you're continuing to taper, but regardless, I hope you'll be back to post. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.
I'd prefer to see someone clean and sober - and cursing me because I told them what they needed to hear ~
rather than see someone still lost in addiction - and liking me because I told them what they wanted to hear.