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I think my boyfriend is doing drugs
I think my boyfriend is doing drugs
My boyfriend and I have been living together for the past 3 months. We were just roommates originally (went to hs together) and after a few weeks started dating. It is getting serious and we really care about each other.
A few weeks into it I was being a stupid girl and decided to snoop around in his room. I found vicodin in an blank prescription bottle and a small tube next to it. The next few days I hinted around the fact that I don't like when people do drugs. After that his pills disappeared. I figured >> give him the benefit of the doubt and forget about it because maybe he quit. Other than the house he didn't have anywhere else to hide them (didnt have a car at the time). He has a good job & is very clean cut guy so he really didnt seem to fit the part of an addict.
Last week I was putting his clothes away and found more. I was very upset and decided to confront him. He said it was his cousins who is an addict and he had to get rid of them so his wife didn't catch him again. I wanted to be sure so I called his cousin who confirmed the whole story including that he even got kicked out of the military because of it. I still was not totally convinced so my boyfriend starts almost crying (never cries) and says he would never betray me like that because he cares about me too much because he knows he would lose me. I told him it wasnt even the drugs that bothered me but lying (kind of a lie of my part but I hoped that would help him tell the truth). He stood his ground and he also gets drug tested all the time for work. I really want to believe him and my gut is telling me he's being truthful but the evidence is kind of against him. Should I believe him? And if yes, then how can I move past this for our future? Because I could see myself marrying him.
First thing I would say is.. Stop the snooping. There is a thing called boundaries even between married couples. I realize you care about him but going through his stuff would be over the line for me. If you love and respect him, respect his privacy as well.
As for the pk's. If you're concerned ask him.. Which you have. You don't seem to be saying he shows signs of having a problem with them... But if that changes, all you can do is encourage him to seek help... Calling his friends for alibis will not strengthen your relationship and it will push him away.. Your love and encouragement might be enough incentive to push them away now while the problem is minor.
I say this from my own experience as my significant other was much like you... Yes. I took pk's for pain management... My wife made my life hell over it. In the end it was not her harassment that made me quit. That just made me angry and resentful. In the end, it was my decision that life was more 'real' when I was clean. Your man can come to that same conclusion with a little help from and encouragement from you.
By the way. Just a heads up.. Hydrocodone will not show up on the standard five drug panel normally used by companies to screen employees. It's an old trick and It's one of reasons a lot of people use them for recreation instead of smoking a little weed which is much much less addictive (and more relaxing IMHO) The test looks for the metabolites of Morphine. Heroin, codeine and of course, Morphine all break down to this and will show a positive. Hydrocodone (Vicodin, Norco) break down into Hydromorphone which doesn't produce a positive. Just say'in. There are tests of course. Just more expensive and not DOT required. So companies tend not to add them to the drug panel. It was the way I got away with my self destructive ways for many years.
I wish you the best of luck.. Tell your BF for me that even though it doesn't seem like it now, life is so much more rich when you spend it clean with someone you love... Advice from an old fool to a young fool. Get clean and live life to the fullest!
The DEA knocks down one drug and a few worse one takes its place.. You can't find good weed anymore but the streets are full of pill mills and the kids abuse benzo's, somas and painkillers like they are nothing. What is next when (if) and they finally get a handle on these pill mills. The DEA needs to pick our enemies and where to fight with a little more common sense.