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I really need some support
  1. #1
    mandythor is offline New Member
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    Oct 2011
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    Unhappy I really need some support

    I am wanting to stop taking hydros. I tell myself this everyday. I was addicted about 3 years ago and stopped cold turkey which was the most horrible thing I ever went through. Well about 4 months ago, I had a tooth pulled and got a script for hydros and have been back on the wagon since. I also suffer from very bad panic attacks, which occur after I have taken enough pills to get me high. I am ashamed, scared, and I want to quit, but I do not want to go through the w/d. I want to talk to my doctor about it, but am afraid I will get into trouble. If anyone can give me some advice I would really appreciate It. Please help me. Thank you

  2. #2
    mandythor is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mandythor View Post
    I am wanting to stop taking hydros. I tell myself this everyday. I was addicted about 3 years ago and stopped cold turkey which was the most horrible thing I ever went through. Well about 4 months ago, I had a tooth pulled and got a script for hydros and have been back on the wagon since. I also suffer from very bad panic attacks, which occur after I have taken enough pills to get me high. I am ashamed, scared, and I want to quit, but I do not want to go through the w/d. I want to talk to my doctor about it, but am afraid I will get into trouble. If anyone can give me some advice I would really appreciate It. Please help me. Thank you
    Also I was wondering from other hydro users, how many do you usually take in a 24 hour period and how long have you been addicted? Thank you.

  3. #3
    Catrina is offline Advanced Member
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    Mandy,

    You won't get in trouble by talking to your doctor. This is always a good idea. If he/she is worth a grain of salt, he/she will be compassionate and will be able to help you. In addition, fessing up is one of the biggest first steps you can make toward recovery. When I told my doctor, I too was ashamed and was so afraid that he'd be judgemental. He wasn't. It felt so good to have someone know what I was doing and understand what I was going thru. He was a tremendous help to me and never judged me.

    I used everything I could get my hands on for around 20 yrs and lots of it. Hydros, percs, oxy, even snorted >>>>>> for a few years. I think at my heaviest, I could use around 180 mg of oxy/day. At that point, hydros were useless. Depending upon what I had, I could easily use 20 or 30 5mg of hydro or percs a day and that would just keep me from not being sick. I got clean via clean turkey countless times but it never stuck until this last time and I'm coming up on 2 yrs early this coming January. Always the mental stuff would get me. The misery of detox would quickly become a fuzzy memory and my addict brain would tell me I could take just one, or just use today, then it'd be two days in a row and I'd promise to stop. Well, we all know what happens then and I lost years on that roller coaster. Fear of detox and staying clean was my greatest enemy. I would think about what I would need to go thru and it was easy to delay it for "just one more day" that would turn into months and years. Once I stopped being afraid and got my mind in the right place, things seemed alot less frightening and even when I was sick with detox, I was determined. For the first time, unafraid and determined. It was the right mix for me.

    Stay tuned here on the Forum. You'll get lots of support and advice and tons of people who will willingly share their stories with you. Just to help. Amazing folks here. I hope you hang around. Keep reading and posting.

    Peace,

    Cat
    "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahil Gibran (1883-1931).

  4. #4
    mandythor is offline New Member
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    First of all I want to say I am very proud of you for being clean this long Your story just hit me in the heart in all the right places. It sounds all too familiar. I cry all the time cause I can't beleive how selfish I am when I look at my children. I just started seeing my new Dr and my plan was to tell her at my first appointment, but I chickened out. I am planning on seeing her in a couple more weeks, After reading your post you have given me a lil more strength to come clean with her. Thank you so much for your encouraging words, and I wish you the best in life.

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