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How has addiction changed you?
  1. #1
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    Feb 2012
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    Default How has addiction changed you?

    I was thinking about this today.I've been clean 5 weeks now from all opiate and was thinking back to when I was taking them. So I am curious on how it changed you and how you feel now about them after you have stopped using.
    Maybe this will give those who need a little push to stop using a reason why after reading the stories of those who have been through it and got away from the pills.
    I can't believe the things I do remember while being on them. I was always taking pills with me everywhere I went,usually 2-3 when I was only going to be gone a short time,not counting a dose I would take before I left to begin with. I was a very mean and nasty person to be around,all I thought about pills,counting them everyday,sometimes more then once and making phone calls even when I had plenty of them.I was making sure I was going to have enough until I got a refill.At one point during the time I took them,my girlfriend had a miscarriage. She got 3-4 scripts for Vicodin and didn't really use only a few so I found myself with the 120 my Dr gave,60 from a family member and about 60 from her.I used them all before my next refill was done.That was when I knew I had a huge problem. I understand why I took so many during that time,I was hiding my pain from losing a baby,I was very dope sick. Very horrible time for me and whoever was around me.
    Now,after 5 weeks,life has changed so much. I do have some pain here and there,some days better then others,but I manage without the devils pills.There were a few times I was very tempted to go get some,but I like to think that I am a stronger person and can do without. Usually when the weather changes I am hurting a few days really bad and then it just goes away.I am not the mean and nasty person I was,I am now the person I was before I was on the pills. I feel really good about it,knowing I don't have to carry pills with me.Still a little weird at times and I catch myself trying to find something I don't have anymore.I have replaced that with hard candy.I keep it around the house and when I leave the house,I grab the candy.I put it where I stored my meds at and it works well for me mentally.
    I've found my interest of playing drums again and have been getting better everyday I play.I notice a HUGE difference in my playing post Vicodin.That was also what I used to get me moving when I was getting off the pills.It's very physical and gets the blood flowing.After about 30 mins I would be very sweaty,which was good because I think it helped me get through the withdrawals much faster and easier.
    I am a much better Father to my kids now that I am off the meds.They knew I was on them and have said in the past they don't ever want to have to take pills like I had to.That really made things sink in more for me.My kids seeing me dope sick many times and saying they will not grow up and do what I was doing and I hope they don't.I hope they seen my struggles and it keeps them away from those damn things.

  2. #2
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Feb 2012
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    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
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    Shawn, Ain't life great! Especially when you can live it and not just survive everyday Good Show my friend Surfdog

    Life is like riding a biccycle, to keep you balance you must keep moving Albert Einstein
    Strengthnow and shawn156 like this.

  3. #3
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    Feb 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfdog View Post
    Shawn, Ain't life great! Especially when you can live it and not just survive everyday Good Show my friend Surfdog

    Life is like riding a biccycle, to keep you balance you must keep moving Albert Einstein
    Yes it is nice.
    I was hoping more people would post their stories to help others.Show them there is a better life waiting for them getting off the opiates.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Houston
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    Today is only day 9 for me being free from the pills. Took them for at least 5 years. I am amazed at how little pain I actually have, the pills were definitely making me think the pain would be unbearable. Now a couple of tylenol actually does help with the aches and pains. Still have that anxious restless feeling of something missing also, but have no desire to take another opiate pill EVER.

    I can't believe I got addicted so quickly and easily. I had a really great job, a good life, and I thought after my diagnosis I needed these pills to function. At first it was great, take a pill, no pain, could work and do pretty much everything I had always done. Then of course it starting taking more than one pill, then having to find extra pills. At some point the pills were more important than anything, quit working and basically just lived to find and take pills. I really never thought it would change.

    About November last year I realized there was not a never-ending supply of money and pills and started cutting down, from sometimes 160mg hydro a day down to 60mg a day, one norco every 4hrs, it took a while with some backsliding but I got there. By February I was stable there and decided to half them and only take half. Again it took a while and sometimes I had to go backwards for a day or so, but was determined to get it down to a manageable amount. I still had no intention of actually quitting. I couldn't QUIT, I still needed them, even at that small amount.

    Then I came across this forum somehow, not sure what I was looking for, probably a miracle cure for hydro wd's. After reading the stories here and the help and encouragement, I did it. I had tapered to such a small dose the wd's were nowhere near as bad as I had been expecting.

    I am just barely clean, but the difference is already there. I feel good most of the time, great some of the time. Mainly I feel proud of myself for finally coming to my senses and getting those d*** things out of my life.

    So if you are reading this you have probably either already been there and are clean, or like me looking for the magic solution to make it all better. Well I found it here, just quit. It can be done and it is SO GREAT not to have to find pills, count pills, deal with people and situations you never thought you would. Every day is just getting better.
    andi85 and shawn156 like this.

  5. #5
    clean4eva is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    20

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    Quote Originally Posted by HopefulnHouston View Post
    Today is only day 9 for me being free from the pills. Took them for at least 5 years. I am amazed at how little pain I actually have, the pills were definitely making me think the pain would be unbearable. Now a couple of tylenol actually does help with the aches and pains. Still have that anxious restless feeling of something missing also, but have no desire to take another opiate pill EVER.

    I can't believe I got addicted so quickly and easily. I had a really great job, a good life, and I thought after my diagnosis I needed these pills to function. At first it was great, take a pill, no pain, could work and do pretty much everything I had always done. Then of course it starting taking more than one pill, then having to find extra pills. At some point the pills were more important than anything, quit working and basically just lived to find and take pills. I really never thought it would change.

    About November last year I realized there was not a never-ending supply of money and pills and started cutting down, from sometimes 160mg hydro a day down to 60mg a day, one norco every 4hrs, it took a while with some backsliding but I got there. By February I was stable there and decided to half them and only take half. Again it took a while and sometimes I had to go backwards for a day or so, but was determined to get it down to a manageable amount. I still had no intention of actually quitting. I couldn't QUIT, I still needed them, even at that small amount.

    Then I came across this forum somehow, not sure what I was looking for, probably a miracle cure for hydro wd's. After reading the stories here and the help and encouragement, I did it. I had tapered to such a small dose the wd's were nowhere near as bad as I had been expecting.

    I am just barely clean, but the difference is already there. I feel good most of the time, great some of the time. Mainly I feel proud of myself for finally coming to my senses and getting those d*** things out of my life.

    So if you are reading this you have probably either already been there and are clean, or like me looking for the magic solution to make it all better. Well I found it here, just quit. It can be done and it is SO GREAT not to have to find pills, count pills, deal with people and situations you never thought you would. Every day is just getting better.

    Thats funny you say that . " A magic solution". It seems most addicts feel that way like they are going to see the light one day.

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