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Don't know what to do...
Don't know what to do...
I started taking oxycodone when I first got diagnosed with pancreatitis. It runs in my family and is autoimmune which I just finally found out certain steroids can help... Anyway, about 3 years ago I had a horrible stomach ache, worse than anybody can imagine, I went into shock and had a seizure because of it. So after getting out of the hospital my doc prescribed me oxy's.. then every 2 weeks would prescribe me 60 more. After I stopped seeing her every 2 weeks I could just call and she would refill it. Finally she sent me to a pain specialist who would give me 120 40mg Oxycontin and 90 Oxycodones a month. I actually did, and still do, have real pain but this guy just wanted to keep me drugged up. Anybody who's been addicted knows that it just gets worse and worse. Worse until I was taking everything he gave me in less than a week. On October 13th I got I Subutex. I remember the last time I took an oxy at 5:10am...... The new doctor I saw asked if I could just taper down but I didn't think that was possible. Anyway I still have pain and she proscribes me Tramodol. I know this is addictive and she only gives me 30 month, refuses to give me more because of my oxy prob. Anyway... I guess my question is how do I stop everything?? I do have pain but mostly in the morning and I use the tramadol at night because I have anxiety so obviously I'm not using it as I should be. The subutex is supposed to get rid of the urge to take pain medication I thought?!?!??? I don't know what to do besides have a couple of beers to get rid of this horrible anxitey (which then causes my pancreas to start eating itself, very painful!!!). I told my doc about the anxiety and she said she'd give me 10 ativan a year but that isn't helping much.... And I really don't like benzo's... they don't help anxiety at all!!! Ok so this is my first time on this site and when I went through withdrawals in september I kept reading through this site so I know someone here can help... please give me your honest perspective... thanks so much!!!!
I am also pretty new here
I THINK THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IS TO STOP. LOOK UP A DETOX CENTER CLOSE TO YOU, CALL AND EXPLAIN YOUR PROBLEM AND GET SOME ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO TO HELP YOU GET OFF THIS CYCLE. I AM A GRANDMA & MOM WHO HAS ONLY BEEN CLEAN FROM OPIATES 8 DAYS, AND I AM NO EXPERT ON DRUGS AS MANY OTHERS ON THIS SITE ARE, BUT I DO KNOW YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING..YOU CAN;T GO ON LIKE THIS OTHERWISE IT WILL PROBABLY GET HARDER.
Originally Posted by azimah
You are in a tough spot because you are using these pills because you are really in pain. I have only been clean for only 3 days after a year and a half battle taking vicoden, percocet, oc's, roxies, and any pain killer that was readily available. I dont have the magic answer nor do I feel like I should be looked upon for advice because I barely have any clean time and I have fell off the wagon many, many time. I just wanted to give you a brief summary of what I went through and maybe that will help you. You can read my story if you click on my username and look at the threads I started. I lost complete control of myself, I had no clue who I was. You wouldnt believe me if I told you the places I went to and the people I met to get these pills. I would give my work every excuse in the book why I had to leave early just to score pills. I would take extra long lunch breaks to score pills. Just because I worked, had a home and car doesnt mean I was in control. These pills controlled my every single move. The more I used these pills the more I could care less about myself. I had one goal every single day I was alive and that was to score pills.
If I were you and you are serious about stopping these pills I would go to your doctor and tell him exactly what you told us. Dont be ashamed because you are not the only person and you are not the last person to ever go through this. I have seen with my own eyes, people that told me they would NEVER touch heroin. No matter what, they will NEVER touch heroin. Now its there DOC because one day the person they usually get pills from was not available. However, heroin was available and it was more potent and cheaper. Seriously, theres so much more I want to write but just read my threads if you are interested and you can see what I Went through and what I lost. I was a complete mess and I still am because I am only a few days clean but I am just sick of the same cycle.
Please keep posting and what you plan to do. I hope you make the decision to stay sober.