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Determined and ready 100% for a better life without drugs!
  1. #1
    sunnydayz is offline Junior Member
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    Red face Determined and ready 100% for a better life without drugs!

    I am READY to be sober, no more pain pills to cover my emotional pain, it just DOES NOT work. I have tried using different drugs since 1995 to manage my depression and grief over losing my 9 yr old daughter, and even just because I was afraid to feel LIFE. AND, actually I AM AN ADDICT seeking recovery and I DO realize that my depression and losing a child does not require becoming a drug addict. I do NOT want to come off sounding as if these things LED me to drugs. Addict first, things in life hurt me and I have allowed the addict in me to take over. Some have heard my story before but I want to post my story, struggles, and how I am dealing with drug addiction NOW. Someone may need to hear it, some may not; I believe you should always share your story with others because if I find someone I can relate to, I know if THEY made it, I can too! I am feeling VERY strong in my decision to change my life AND to STAY sober. Which is the most important single thing is to WANT IT, sobriety and I do. I have been on the fence for a long long time but I have chosen LIFE. Not getting any younger and have decided to change my life for the best FOR ME and for my child. I feel so grateful to have chosen and jumped over to the side of the fence that is all about living without drugs, and to treat my body with a lot more respect! Just wanted to share this and thanks to other sober friends which you know who you are, I have a chance at getting my life back on track. I have to remember that I have about 3 days sober and I only have TODAY to be sober, I pray I wake in the morning and will stay another day sober, and so on and so on. However, I realize from my 12 step meetings that you "can't keep it, if you don't give it away", so I will be on here as often as I am able to be accountable to those who provide me with their kind support and to be there for anyone who might need support from me. I pray for those out there that are suffering deep in their addictions. I hope to be an example of what sobriety can be, I was sober for years and I NEVER felt better! Then, I have also been in the dark shadows in a locked room with needles and horror everywhere. God I never want to go "there" again. I don't believe in the devil but what I experienced in years back when I isolated from the world and shot junk in my arms, THAT is the devil/hell. God Bless All Of You!! Peace, Jules

  2. #2
    thalia45 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnydayz View Post
    I am READY to be sober, no more pain pills to cover my emotional pain, it just DOES NOT work. I have tried using different drugs since 1995 to manage my depression and grief over losing my 9 yr old daughter, and even just because I was afraid to feel LIFE. AND, actually I AM AN ADDICT seeking recovery and I DO realize that my depression and losing a child does not require becoming a drug addict. I do NOT want to come off sounding as if these things LED me to drugs. Addict first, things in life hurt me and I have allowed the addict in me to take over. Some have heard my story before but I want to post my story, struggles, and how I am dealing with drug addiction NOW. Someone may need to hear it, some may not; I believe you should always share your story with others because if I find someone I can relate to, I know if THEY made it, I can too! I am feeling VERY strong in my decision to change my life AND to STAY sober. Which is the most important single thing is to WANT IT, sobriety and I do. I have been on the fence for a long long time but I have chosen LIFE. Not getting any younger and have decided to change my life for the best FOR ME and for my child. I feel so grateful to have chosen and jumped over to the side of the fence that is all about living without drugs, and to treat my body with a lot more respect! Just wanted to share this and thanks to other sober friends which you know who you are, I have a chance at getting my life back on track. I have to remember that I have about 3 days sober and I only have TODAY to be sober, I pray I wake in the morning and will stay another day sober, and so on and so on. However, I realize from my 12 step meetings that you "can't keep it, if you don't give it away", so I will be on here as often as I am able to be accountable to those who provide me with their kind support and to be there for anyone who might need support from me. I pray for those out there that are suffering deep in their addictions. I hope to be an example of what sobriety can be, I was sober for years and I NEVER felt better! Then, I have also been in the dark shadows in a locked room with needles and horror everywhere. God I never want to go "there" again. I don't believe in the devil but what I experienced in years back when I isolated from the world and shot junk in my arms, THAT is the devil/hell. God Bless All Of You!! Peace, Jules
    Stay sober. I am sure there is meaning in this kind of awful pain...
    sunnydayz likes this.

  3. #3
    Comeback Kid is offline Senior Member
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    You are certainly in the right place sunny. Keep up the good work. You have chosen wisely
    sunnydayz likes this.
    Hi my name is Adam, i'm an addict
    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"
    “If I can't win what sense does it make to fight?” -Father Martin on Step 1
    Clean as of 05.30.2014 (4:00pm)

  4. #4
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Sunnydayz ..... just take it one day at a time. I'm here if I can help you. God bless.
    sunnydayz likes this.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  5. #5
    Mr_Dean is offline Member
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    Keep going strong Sunny- Robert is right- One day at a time- One step at a time. We are all here to support you in your journey. Things can and will get better for you!!

    Mr_Dean

  6. #6
    BlackBirdFly is offline New Member
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    I've been there too, and now I'm back again, though today is day 3 detox at home. This all takes time. Do you have a detox plan? I have advice : )

  7. #7
    sunnydayz is offline Junior Member
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    Hey, thanks! I DEFINATELY need to slow on down, I'm getting too crazy trying to fix it all in a day. I have a hard time with one day at a time. I MUST slow down because I get so crazy pink cloud high, that eventually I am stressed to the limit and that we know will lead to no good. So, I will keep myself in check and staying in the NOW. Thanks for being here for me Robert and mr Dean, I know that I will eventually be in a great place but ain't gonna happen in a day, remind me of that if I get on here in a crazy manic mode! LOL. Feel free to remind me that it takes time, one day at a time. Peace u guys, Jules
    This is my experience, strength, and hope I share...
    "Take what you need, leave the rest"

  8. #8
    sunnydayz is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks, I actually do have a plan and have been down this road more than i'd like to admit. Known as in and out the revolving doors of sobriety but WANT and will work my sobriety one day at a time to hopefully REMAIN sober. I can't (as noone can) say I will never relapse but I can say everyday I will ask for a daily repreive from using. Peace, jules
    This is my experience, strength, and hope I share...
    "Take what you need, leave the rest"

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