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7 year Norco addiction
  1. #1
    teched is offline New Member
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    Default 7 year Norco addiction

    I've been taking Norco for about 7 years. During the last 5 years I've been taking 10-15 or so pills a day. I have no medical reason for taking them. I don't have a prescription, but I have a household member that gives me around 200 a month for free and someone else who sells them to me rather cheap. I've gotten to the point where I even jokingly refer to them as my "happiness" because thats why I take them. I feel like the happy energetic person that I am is only a result of the pills. But I've been fighting with myself for months about wanting to stop taking them. I hate living everyday controlled by when I'm going to take some more or worrying about if I'm going to run out. I'm 28 and I've been with my husband since I was 18. He's aware of my addiction and though not happy about it, he's never asked me to stop or put me down for it. I've tried to stop a few times in the past. Tried the thomas recipe, tried to quit cold and just power through it, stupidly tried to stop by replacing one addiction for another, but it never lasts more than a month, if that.
    So 5 days ago my happy little bubble burst rather unexpectedly. I took my last 2 pills thinking I was getting more and ended up not. At first I paniced, but when I realized it would be almost 2 weeks before I could get any (I can still get them.. just not as easily or cheap as I normally would), I decided now was the time to stop. I stayed pretty positive through the first 2 days of withdrawals. Vomitting, diaherra, fever, muscle cramps, chills, no sleep, crazy restless legs.. I wanted to die, but knew I was doing the right thing. I've been taking tylenol and immodium. I tried taking ambien the first 2 nights but they didn't help so I didn't take anymore. Lots of hot showers. So now as day 5 comes to an end, a lot of the physical symptoms have eased up, I've managed to get a little sleep and eaten a little but... through all of this, i've allowed myself to just stay in bed the majority of the time. I have a thousand things I need to catch up on (im sure there is mold in my kitchen sink to be honest) but i can't force myself to do anything. I have a pounding headache and I feel like I have 50lbs weights attached to all my limbs. I even drank one of those 5 hour energy things today in hopes of finding some motivation.. How do I get past needing that euphoric boost I got from norco? I feel like 5 minutes into any activity, I need to rest and cry.. And i fear that if I can't find my resolve and positive attitude again, I will fail in 6 days when I have access to pills again. Was I wrong to try this when I ran out of pills rather than on my own time? I'd love to here what others have done to get through the blah feeling.
    I'm not even entirely sure why I'm posting all this. I guess I just want to feel accountable. Or wanted to say it all "out loud". Regardless... thank you to anyone who reads this or responds.

  2. #2
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Absolutely stay your course. Yes, you will be tired. Yes you will be emotional. Your natural endorphines have been blocked. It will take a bit before they come back. But if you commit to working through this, you will come out on the other side! Do you ever want to go through what you just went through again? If you stay off you won't have to do it again, ever. You don't want to stay on these. Your use will just increase as the "happy" wears off into a creepy gray and all you can do is take them to stay "even". You will destroy your liver from the APAP. You are young, 28, and have your whole life ahead of you. You don't want to be 50 and still using. You are on the OTHER SIDE! You never have to "use" again. If you keep exercising and pushing through this you will BE FINE. TIME that's what it takes and will power. Get out in the world and do what you can do. The more exercise you get the better you will feel. I pray to go GOD you stay off. Post in the need to talk section and there are many people who will see this and help support you. STAY AWAY at any cost from the vic.
    POST POST POST and stay the course. You can do this! Many people have, you can too!

    Peace

    IloeRose
    Last edited by iloerose; 04-05-2012 at 07:40 AM. Reason: addition.
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  3. #3
    Catrina is offline Advanced Member
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    Welcome Tech!

    Please, please keep this going!!! I abused for +20 yrs and of harder stuff than you're taking and alot more per day than you. I tried every method that I could think of from tapering to paying more than $10,000 for rapid detox. I couldn't taper, with true addict mentality I would gobble them all and would think I'd just face the music...cold turkey. I did cold turkey and I did it more than once. Fun, huh? I finally found this Forum in Dec 2009 and it motivated me to the extent that I was actually excited of being clean. I was ready this time. I mean, really really ready. In early January 2010 I gobbled the last of my supply and my Journey began.

    It takes time, believe me, to regain your ability to concentrate and regain motivation to simply get out of bed and become productive. I discovered that no matter how ?????? I felt, how much I just wanted to go back to bed to feel sorry for myself even after the withdrawal symptoms were gone, I MADE myself get into the shower, get dressed and get out of the house. Being around other human beings and having to appear as normal as possible actually worked for me. You know, even non-addicts have lazy, non-motivational days. They have bad moods and wish they didn't have to get their butt going. In the beginning of being clean we just have more of them, like everyday for a bit. The addage of "One day at a time", well mine was "15 minutes at a time" and from there it grew. Over two years later, still clean I'm still at One Day at a Time and I suspect I just might stay there forever. That's good for me. I know I have free will and if I want to get back to the fogged brain addict I was in 2009 I can always choose that road tomorrow. It just won't be today!

    Keep us posted. Dump on us. Trust me, nothing you've been thru and are going thru is much different that the rest of us. You are soooo young. Get the hell off that bus!!

    Peace,

    Cat
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    "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahil Gibran (1883-1931).

  4. #4
    wanttobemeagian is offline New Member
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    Default I am no different.

    [deleted - duplicate post]
    Last edited by ddcmod; 04-05-2012 at 03:30 PM.

  5. #5
    teched is offline New Member
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    Smile Thank you

    I just wanted to update and thank everyone who replied. Your words are more encouraging and inspirational than you can imagine. So im half way through day 7. Feeling better.. stronger. Forcing myself to be more active. I have taken a few xanax over the past few days but nothing crazy. Got a full nights sleep and am finally eating semi regularly, which made a world of difference on my ability to force myself into activity.
    I feel good about all this. And I agree with you Cat, about the 15 minutes at a time and the one day at a time. I can handle that.
    My next big problem will be when my household member refills their prescription. I've explained the sitiation to her so we'll see how it goes. I just know that in the next few weeks I will be asked many times "are you sure you don't want a couple of these" and "why don't you just take a couple, it'll make you feel better". I just need to prepare for it and keep my goals insight.
    Thank you again to everyone who responded. I'll keep you updated
    Good luck to everyone!

  6. #6
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Absolutely keep your goals in sight! You are doing a super job. If these people care for you and you've told them you're done with it, they will respect your decision. I know part of the responsibility is yours, but they should respect your choice. Just keep your goal in sight and you WiLL make it. Keep solid and hang tough. You will get stronger everyday, keep choosing the next right choice. We are rooting for you! POST here and dump whenever you need to.

    IloeRose

  7. #7
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Going thru it too

    Day seven for me!! I too have been addicted to Norcos and the "blue devils" for about ten years. Six of those years I was given norcos for multiple surgeries, but I started wanted that extra refill or two that I didn't really need. Just for fun. When the surgeries stopped, my pill addiction didn't. While my dealer was always amazed that my usage never crept up to the level his other "clients" did, I was very dependent on having at least two blue devils a day. He would contact me like clockwork sometimes just when I would have a couple left like my evil savior. I looked at him in two totally different lights. After quitting a week ago today, and I can't imagine what detoxing off more that two a day would be like. The last week has been hell, but every day does get better! I think L-Tyrosine for getting your natural happiness back is great with a high stress B supplement. I've been working out like crazy! Yesterday, I ran, horsebackrode and hiked and it really helps getting the endorphins working again. The weird thing is I feel less sore in the morning than when I was using!

    To help, I smoke pot and drink moderately. I have read the forums daily because I have no one to talk to about this. The funny thing is, the only support I have is from my dealer since he's the only one who knows I was hooked! I kept telling my husband all week "I think I have the flu." I absolutely did not want to talk to anyone and had not interest in doing anything. BUT, today on Easter, I am finally waking up without thinking I've got to start my day with that pill and it feels good. When I saw how my body has been getting rid of all the garbage I poisoned it with, I feel guilty. I feel like I've been killing myself slowly until now. God it feel good to be getting whole again and feeling like myself. I didn't know what normal was anymore! Hang in there! We can do it!!!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-08-2012 at 10:02 AM.
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  8. #8
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Good for you. You should finally be coming around, Keep on going! Yes you've done the physical part, hang tough and congratulations on staying away. It is too funny having your dealer for support!

    Iloerose
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  9. #9
    alleycat4714 is offline Junior Member
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    Talking

    Please listen to everyone! The worst of Norco w/d lasts about 5-7 days, so it sounds like you are through the worst of it, physical at least. The mental will last a little longer, but like iloerose said, your brain and endorphin levels need to regenerate. It won't happen overnight, but you will gradually start to feel better. You didn't better an addict overnight, therefor you won't become healthy overnight, so just give your body/brain a chance! I promise you will be so glad you did a year, even 2 months from now. (Not to sound like I'm dismissing, but I totally wish I had your problem!) Best of luck to you!

  10. #10
    hadenuf is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alleycat4714 View Post
    Please listen to everyone! The worst of Norco w/d lasts about 5-7 days, so it sounds like you are through the worst of it, physical at least. The mental will last a little longer, but like iloerose said, your brain and endorphin levels need to regenerate. It won't happen overnight, but you will gradually start to feel better. You didn't better an addict overnight, therefor you won't become healthy overnight, so just give your body/brain a chance! I promise you will be so glad you did a year, even 2 months from now. (Not to sound like I'm dismissing, but I totally wish I had your problem!) Best of luck to you!
    Thanks for the encouragement people! I was going to write an update just for myself and it's nice to hear feedback. I am on day 11 and it IS much easier! Here's the problem. I am so hyper now that my husband has been looking at me like I'm nuts. I actually caved in and told him last night for the first time because I was tired of making up excuses for my behavior (first "the flu", now hyperactice, anxious, overeacting to job stresses). He was very supportive and didn't make a big deal out of it. At first I said "I have to tell you something" and his reaction was "OMG you're having an affair!" : ) In addition, my manager called me high strung yesterday (I'm an outside sales rep and the job leads to that anyway). Soooo here I am. Happier, but more hyperactive and high strung. The real me? Or just for a while? I don't know anymore!!!

  11. #11
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by hadenuf View Post
    Thanks for the encouragement people! I was going to write an update just for myself and it's nice to hear feedback. I am on day 11 and it IS much easier! Here's the problem. I am so hyper now that my husband has been looking at me like I'm nuts. I actually caved in and told him last night for the first time because I was tired of making up excuses for my behavior (first "the flu", now hyperactice, anxious, overeacting to job stresses). He was very supportive and didn't make a big deal out of it. At first I said "I have to tell you something" and his reaction was "OMG you're having an affair!" : ) In addition, my manager called me high strung yesterday (I'm an outside sales rep and the job leads to that anyway). Soooo here I am. Happier, but more hyperactive and high strung. The real me? Or just for a while? I don't know anymore!!!
    So happy you stuck with it and got clean. I've done it more then once,heck 2 times within 6 months and it never gets any easier,but after doing it over and over,you kind of know what to expect during w/ds. I have been clean from vicodin for a month or so but only because I replaced it with a weaker opiate.I am using Tylenol 3 with Codeine. Tomorrow will be my last time taking the T3's and my road to being totally off opiates. I don't expect it to be to bad since I kept the dosage to 2-3x a day and no Vicodin for a while now. When I come off Vicodin,it's 4-5 days before I am normal again so by using a weaker opiate,my hopes are I won't feel much w/ds and be able to continue a normal life.I can handle a few days down but not 4-5 days again. Good luck and stick with it!

  12. #12
    hadenuf is offline New Member
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    Default No sleep for me

    Quote Originally Posted by shawn156 View Post
    So happy you stuck with it and got clean. I've done it more then once,heck 2 times within 6 months and it never gets any easier,but after doing it over and over,you kind of know what to expect during w/ds. I have been clean from vicodin for a month or so but only because I replaced it with a weaker opiate.I am using Tylenol 3 with Codeine. Tomorrow will be my last time taking the T3's and my road to being totally off opiates. I don't expect it to be to bad since I kept the dosage to 2-3x a day and no Vicodin for a while now. When I come off Vicodin,it's 4-5 days before I am normal again so by using a weaker opiate,my hopes are I won't feel much w/ds and be able to continue a normal life.I can handle a few days down but not 4-5 days again. Good luck and stick with it!
    I don't know how anyone does this more than once. Today is two weeks to the day that I had my last pill. Do I feel good? Yes, but I am easily agitated and just cannot sleep. I go to bed around 10 or 11, then like clockwork I am awake at 2:50 (it's always just before 3:00) and then struggle to sleep for more than an hour at a time the rest of the night. I toss and turn and my mind thinks of a million things. I think I could get up at three AM and be just fine because I am not tired! Even the next day I am rarely tired. I take Melatonin but it doesn't work. I was taking Unisom, but it stopped working. I read all the stuff to take for sleep, but honestly it just must take time because that's what I keep reading. I am going on a big trip overseas in a month and I'm worried I won't sleep well by then (six weeks into withdrawal).
    Just had to share...it does help. Good luck with quitting T3's. Hope it is going well!

  13. #13
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by hadenuf View Post
    I don't know how anyone does this more than once. Today is two weeks to the day that I had my last pill. Do I feel good? Yes, but I am easily agitated and just cannot sleep. I go to bed around 10 or 11, then like clockwork I am awake at 2:50 (it's always just before 3:00) and then struggle to sleep for more than an hour at a time the rest of the night. I toss and turn and my mind thinks of a million things. I think I could get up at three AM and be just fine because I am not tired! Even the next day I am rarely tired. I take Melatonin but it doesn't work. I was taking Unisom, but it stopped working. I read all the stuff to take for sleep, but honestly it just must take time because that's what I keep reading. I am going on a big trip overseas in a month and I'm worried I won't sleep well by then (six weeks into withdrawal).
    Just had to share...it does help. Good luck with quitting T3's. Hope it is going well!
    2 weeks clean is great! I am just over the 24 hour mark with my c/t and feel ok. I just hope this is all I have to endure and that I can get my life on track and stay clean. You would think after so many times of doing this a person would learn not to do it again,but he addict in me is hard to fight.I plan to seek some drug counseling to help with my problem so I don't fall prey to the evil pills again.

  14. #14
    hadenuf is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by shawn156 View Post
    2 weeks clean is great! I am just over the 24 hour mark with my c/t and feel ok. I just hope this is all I have to endure and that I can get my life on track and stay clean. You would think after so many times of doing this a person would learn not to do it again,but he addict in me is hard to fight.I plan to seek some drug counseling to help with my problem so I don't fall prey to the evil pills again.
    I think counseling a great idea. I could use it too. I'm finding after two and a half weeks I'm starting to think a little fondly of my past habit. I read you actually start to want "them" again after you think you're out of the woods. I am absolutely not going to obtain any more. One reason I am dwelling on them a little more is because I tapered back on the intense exercise too soon. Although I ride my horse and hike daily (almost) I was running up hills too during the first two weeks. Then I just stopped feeling the need, which is a mistake because my endorphins stop being produced as much. That's my theory anyway. I'm a little depressed now. Oh well. I just need to deal with it like everything else. Hope you are having success!

  15. #15
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    Default Good to know I have company

    Thanks everyone for posting your stories. I am at the beginning of tapering from Oxycodone 30 mg tabs 6 X per day.
    I know it is going to get hard at times and its good to read the posts and know I am not alone. Even the old posts.
    I have cut back so far 30 mg per day.

    I am praying for all of us. Each one of us CAN do this. We want our lives back.

    hug,
    Lily

  16. #16
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    Unhappy Is Anyone out There?

    Is anyone out there? I could really use a friend here. It woudl be really nice to share with someone. I don't have a boyfriend and I live far from anyone, and my family is gone, so it would be nice to talk to somoene here. I have decreased my dosage from 240 mg per day down to 90 mg per day. I hope to be oxycodone free in a couple of weeks. I know it will take another month after that to feel myself again, but to tell you the truth, I don't know who that is, I haven't known her for a few years.

    hug,
    Lily

  17. #17
    sho16 is offline New Member
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    just keep on that path. the sooner you go CT, the closer you will be to feeling better. i could use help as well - post often.

  18. #18
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    Hi Sho,
    Glad to see your post. Sorry to be stupid but what does your acronym CT mean? LOL, I am slow this past few days, my brain is foggy. I cut down again, after I cut out the hydrocodone I was still taking 60 mg oxycodone 4 times per day, and now I am at 15 mg 4 times per day, and tomorrow will be three times per day, and if all goes well, by this time next week I will be off of it for good.
    This was all prescribed by a doctor, and I had no idea of the withdraw. When they tell you its highly addictive, now I know what it means, I just thought that meant that it was easy for peopel to get hooked, I didn't know it meant physically addictive like if you don't take it you go through this horror.

    Sho, what is your story? Please tell me. Are you withdrawing or planning to? What is going on with you?
    hugs,
    Lily


    Quote Originally Posted by sho16 View Post
    just keep on that path. the sooner you go CT, the closer you will be to feeling better. i could use help as well - post often.

  19. #19
    sho16 is offline New Member
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    lily

    my story is around here somewhere. i'll find it and post on here for you.

    CT = cold turkey (i know how the foggy is - so no worries)

    took my last (2x 10s hydro) yesterday at noon. it was a small amount and couldn't even feel it. looking to go 3 weeks for now, then take it a step (month) at a time. can't wait.


    keep posting. it makes you feel better (does me anyway)

  20. #20
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    Wow, so you took the last yesterday. I guess you are feeling really ?????? by now huh?
    Yeah, I guess I will be going cold turkey when I can't break the pills into bits anymore, They are already so small as it is. If I cut into 1/8's that is 3.75 mg. I'll tke it down to that I guess, and then go from there. I heard that even if you are on that little amount it still gives you bad withdraw.
    So you say you will take it one month at a time. Funny, that is the way I was looking at it too. Since it takes a full month for the brain to recover, I was thinking a month at a time.
    I feel like abad mom tonight, not cooking dinner, just going right to bed as soon as I post this. I wish I didn't have to work. There is no way I can take sick days right now. Well at least my daughter is a teenager, so she can make something for herself, I just feel guilty. Been feeling a lot of ugly things lately, been numbed so much for so long.
    Yes, please repoast your story. If its in this forum I can maybe find it by clicking on you. Will do, and I hope you feel out of the woods soon.
    hugs,
    Lily



    Quote Originally Posted by waterlillies View Post
    Hi Sho,
    Glad to see your post. Sorry to be stupid but what does your acronym CT mean? LOL, I am slow this past few days, my brain is foggy. I cut down again, after I cut out the hydrocodone I was still taking 60 mg oxycodone 4 times per day, and now I am at 15 mg 4 times per day, and tomorrow will be three times per day, and if all goes well, by this time next week I will be off of it for good.
    This was all prescribed by a doctor, and I had no idea of the withdraw. When they tell you its highly addictive, now I know what it means, I just thought that meant that it was easy for peopel to get hooked, I didn't know it meant physically addictive like if you don't take it you go through this horror.

    Sho, what is your story? Please tell me. Are you withdrawing or planning to? What is going on with you?
    hugs,
    Lily

  21. #21
    sho16 is offline New Member
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    my suggestion is, if you can't get the high with whatever dose you are taking just go CT. it will suck for a little while, but just stay strong mentally. go for a walk, try to think about things that make you happy - think back to the things that do. just remember this - the feeling you'll have when you wake up on day 5-7, will be great. just plug thru and watch a bunch of motivational movies (no sad ones).

    supplements to help.
    immodium
    l-tyrosine in AM (after day 3-4) with a redbull (for energy etc)
    5-htp is ok
    Relax-All (vitamin shoppe)
    advil advil
    advil sleep aid
    melatonin
    xanax - go to doc if you cant sleep after day 1-2
    clonodine - go to doc (will help lower blood pressure and ease some w/d)
    thomas recipe - google it
    hot showers
    think of things that will "waste time" - - walk, shop, sleep whenever, drive around and listen to music, etc
    water water water
    protein
    one supplement that helped me when i was working out was "Assault" by Musclepharm. gives you a good feeling and kind of a weird numbing to your face/head.

    anything else let me know.

  22. #22
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    Thanks for all the advice. I will get the l-tyrosine and I will looat at the thomas recipe again. About the getting hihg part, i havn' gotten high off of them in a while, since I started reducing. I am taking them now to taper. Just to avoid the CT symptoms, but I figure if I take enough to get high, then it's too much for what I am trying to do.it as taking me 240 mg er day to get high, now down to between45 and 75 mg per day, so no highs. I have some weed to help, but it makes me so tired, and I have to work. I have some xanax for bedtime, and some trazadone too, so that should help more with sleep when I do go CT. I can't take anything that affects blood pressure because mine is too low to begine iwht, and I can't take anything with diphenhydramine, but that's ok becuase the trazadone is good for sleep.
    I am just so achy and out of energy and depressed and crying at nothing.
    How are you feeling today?
    hugs,
    Lily

    Quote Originally Posted by sho16 View Post
    my suggestion is, if you can't get the high with whatever dose you are taking just go CT. it will suck for a little while, but just stay strong mentally. go for a walk, try to think about things that make you happy - think back to the things that do. just remember this - the feeling you'll have when you wake up on day 5-7, will be great. just plug thru and watch a bunch of motivational movies (no sad ones).

    supplements to help.
    immodium
    l-tyrosine in AM (after day 3-4) with a redbull (for energy etc)
    5-htp is ok
    Relax-All (vitamin shoppe)
    advil advil
    advil sleep aid
    melatonin
    xanax - go to doc if you cant sleep after day 1-2
    clonodine - go to doc (will help lower blood pressure and ease some w/d)
    thomas recipe - google it
    hot showers
    think of things that will "waste time" - - walk, shop, sleep whenever, drive around and listen to music, etc
    water water water
    protein
    one supplement that helped me when i was working out was "Assault" by Musclepharm. gives you a good feeling and kind of a weird numbing to your face/head.

    anything else let me know.

  23. #23
    sho16 is offline New Member
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    trust me just go CT. it will be over before you know it. tapering that long will increase your chances at relapse.

    i feel like the hump is near. i'd say at this point tomorrow i will have kind of turned the corner. some physical will remain (mental will) but the phoggy head and achy ?????? feeling should be ending. just got back from the gym....took some supplements and forced myself to workout and get a sweat. getting there

    CT is the way. its like pulling off a band-aid.

  24. #24
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    I can't go totally CT. I can't afford to be in any worse shape than I am now. I have cut the daily dose in half, then in half again, so I figure CT after I go to the lowest I can break the pills. Reason is I havea a teenager, and I work. I figure cut as much as I can and then go CT over a weekend. If I cut as much as I can, the CT won't be as bad. There isn't a risk of relapse with me because I never really did this for a high. I mean, yeah, I enjoed the buzz i got from them, but it is a caffiene kind of buzz not a loopy kind. When I was in the hospital years ago I was on IV morphine, and that make me loopy, but vicodin or oxy, that is like I drank a pot of coffee with a zing. It did make me a bit happier, but nothing to make me crave it to relapse. I am just taking it to avoid the horrible WD, and if not for my daughter and job, I would do the CT. I guess I am very fortunate that I didn't get all loopy from it. What happened is I came down with this back pain, and it just took more and more of the narcotics to get rid of the pain due to a tolerance I built up. Plus, I read that sometimes narctoics cause a condition where the brain is tricked into thinking it is in pain due to the presence of narcotics. So for that reason, plus, the biggest reason of all, I read a book by Dr. John Sarno called "healing back pain" and it helped me emough to want to cut the meds ans want to face the pain head on, with meditation and positive thnking, and etc. (you have to read the book) and so this is why I wanted to get off of the meds. The fire under my butt was the bogus test that came back positive for hydromorphone and weed. OK, the weed part was right, but the last tie I had hysromorphone was when I had a collapsed lung years ago, and they gave me one shot of it, and the vomiting was so bad they put me on the morphine instead. The vomiting was bad with that too, but nothing like it was with the hydromorphone. So this test my doc did, it was bogus and just a reason to get rid of the narcotics petients because she is stopping giving them out. I mean I am not angry, like i wanted to quit anyway, what I am angry about is the lack of concern, just kicking me to the curb, no discussion, no making sure I am not suicidal, nothing, like I am worthless. I trust this woman with my life and to her I am worthless. But anyway, if I could do the CT now I would, but I have been on track, keeping a chart, charting every dose, and not one time did I want to take any for a get high.
    What floats my boat is a few beers after work and a bowl of bud at night, that is what I really like and havn't been able to have in years.

    I can't believe you are working out!! Good for you! I am so proud of you! You must be a very strong person. Keep up the good work.
    hugs,
    Lily

  25. #25
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    more thoughts, how in the world do you work out anyway? LOL, I life a leg and feel like it's going to fall off. I am so achy I can't imagine working out. Please keep it up! you are giving me energy just thinking of you.
    hugs,
    Lily

  26. #26
    sho16 is offline New Member
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    just gotta make yourself do it. its helps a ton. endorphin release and improves self esteem.

    if i were you i'd taper until Friday. take the day off work and go CT for fri, sat, sun. after this long of tapering, you'll be feeling pretty good monday. better than you'd think. i like w/d on weekends too. can lay around, watch movies, etc. you should feel ok on your 4th day and great by Wednesday.

  27. #27
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    Default Exactly my plan

    Wow, Sho, you are a good inspiration for me. I will do it today. i haven't walked my dog in a few days because I feel so lousy, and he looks at me and I feel bad, so today I am going to take him out for a little run. Thanks. Yeah, I want to plan the CT for a weekend, either this weekend, or next. I may taper one more week, then on May 12th weekend will go all the way. I have a few motherly things to do this weekend, so no reason to ruin my kid's weekend when I can wait one more week. If I had no responsibilities I would go CT today. I am fortunate that I am not craving them for a high, but rather to stay not shaking and throwing up, ya know? Gads after cutting dose in half, then cutting in half again in one week has really wiped me out. About the endorphins, how do you feel them? What do they feel like? How much exercise do yo have to do to feel it? I have been on the narcotics between 2 and 3 years, and it has affected my breathing. I can't run more than a block without my lungs feeling like they are gonna blow up. I just found out that narcotics affect breathing, this is after I mentioned to idiot doctor that I have been having breathing problems upon exercize. I was told not to exercize for years due to my condition, but I said to hell with that, and I started a few weeks back, and it helped, my pain started going away, and I told the doc about the brreathing, since I hadn't tried to exercize in years, I knew I would have to build strength back up, but the breathing is bad, so instead of telling me that narcotics affect breathing, she set me up for a bunch of tests, and all far from my home and costly, and then I go and read about narco and breathing, and I can't believe she didn't mention it. But anyway, yeah, i will do it today. exercize.

    Thanks Sho, for all of your advice and staying here with me, <kiss><hug>
    Lily



    Quote Originally Posted by sho16 View Post
    just gotta make yourself do it. its helps a ton. endorphin release and improves self esteem.

    if i were you i'd taper until Friday. take the day off work and go CT for fri, sat, sun. after this long of tapering, you'll be feeling pretty good monday. better than you'd think. i like w/d on weekends too. can lay around, watch movies, etc. you should feel ok on your 4th day and great by Wednesday.

  28. #28
    sho16 is offline New Member
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    good, go for it. endorphins are released when you really get into the exercise. enough that you forget about the w/ds for a time. you def need to sweat and "feel good" - thats when you know. then that will be your new high.

    unfortunately for me, i take them for the high. started out with surgeries, but now i chase that all elusive first high.

    i'll be 14 days next weekend. kind of getting nervous about it because i'm in a wedding and there will be several of those things around. hopefully i'll have strong enough will to not take ONE. want to go 30 days without ONE. that should re-set my mind.

    good luck.

  29. #29
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    wow, you have to go into a sweat huh? Well i can forget that for a while. I can't run a block without getting so out of breath. I guess its a combination of sitting and doing nothing for a few years, and the narcotic affect on the breathing. i will do as much as I can befor eit takes my breath away. thanks.

    About the wedding, Maybe it would help if you did some visualization ahead of time. Sit and meditate, free your mind of all thought, and then think of situations of people offering you some, and see yourself turning them down. DO it over and over in all types of situations that you can think of. Think of the pills as evil, think of them as rat poison. keep visualizing you saying no over and over.

    Stay stong and good luck,
    hugs,
    Lily

  30. #30
    waterlillies is offline New Member
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    I shampooed the carpets in my livingroom, well, amsot done, then gonna walk the dog, just a little walk, hot bathand bed. Even though I can't get too out of breath yet, so no endorphins yet, i see what you mean about the self esteem. I do feel better about me. I mean, the furniture has been pulled out waiting for the carpet scrubber for 2 weeks, making me feel inadequate looking at the whole mess, and now I do feel better about me, like, I did it for my daughter really, didnt' want her seeing the rooms pulled apart for so long, so i did it to be a good mom, and walking dog for same reason, lol.
    This is so horrible, nect weekend is gonna be it. I think I will take off Monday and start on Thursday, so hopefully like you say, by Tuesday I should be able to work.
    Thanks for the advice, and how are you doing today? Did you get any exercizing in?
    hugs,
    Lily

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