Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 31 to 41 of 41
Like Tree63Likes
Why Should I Quit?
  1. #31
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    16,689

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SuzieOf View Post
    Yes, of course you are right. However I guess I expect more from you than bashing a basher. I have spent literally over a hundred hours reading here and nothing even comes close to the support and love you have received in your thread. Even after countless relapses no one was EVER harsh with you!! Or even brutally honest for that matter. Not even Cheeky who tells it like it is in other threads..not even Robert who posted more in your thread than any other I have seen (when not helping with a taper), he even stayed up all night worrying about you and I took one stupid Canadian aspirin (over the counter) and he got mad at me and never came back. You even posted regarding Adderall, Scotch whiskey, xanax, etc. and it went unmentioned in the replies.

    Every time you fell all you got was positive support. We all deserve that kind of love and support and most importantly the patience. We all have a story. I held my mother and my brother as they died and stayed with them until the last moment praying the whole time... both in the same year.

    Do I sound jealous? Well, maybe a little but I'm not on the other side yet but doing well and feeling quite alone. I would give anything to have made friends and been showered with the love and constant support that you received. And as you said many times you could not have made it without it so when you get frustrated by the forum because people are not "getting it" and asking for advice and not taking it, it is part of the long process as you know. Nobody can do it until they are ready and even then it is not easy. It took many tries even for you. I hope this doesn't sound harsh because I don't mean it to and I am talking to myself more than you. Getting clean is a very emotional process and I do believe that what helps more than harshness/telling it like it is.... is love, support and patience... what hurts is judgement.



    Suzie ..... How dare you chastize and JUDGE me over not helping YOU when you are complaining about people judging others! You have been here a short time, I pulled you out of misery when you tried to cold turkey and I gave you very specific instructions after stabilizing you, (the "Canadian aspirin" you took are codiene by the way and you knew they were codiene), and I never abandoned you! I have sat up day and night for five years at this goofy screen answering the same questions over and over and over again. The answers to questions from around the world are on this forum everywhere wth the almost 16,000 posts and replies I've made. I don't intend to continue to spend 24 hours a day on the forum anymore, though I can assure you that when you are long gone like nearly everyone else who joins this forum and goes crazy posting, you'll end up disappearing eventually just like most everyone else does. But I'll still be here working with addicts long after you've moved on and blown off this place. I've seen it over and again for too long. I have proven myself here and you don't jump on ME!

    I can't count the emails, phone calls, posts here, facebook messages, etc, that I receive from across the planet daily. I spent 18 hours in person helping save the life of an addict yesterday that is a lifelong friend. Monday I had a Sub DR from MA call me on the phone and I spent nearly two hours with her. No telling how many addicts that will help as now ONE MORE sub dr knows how to treat their sub patients. And for every bit of time or help I offer to people I ask for nothing in return but to give God the glory! I surely don't have to account for my time to you. That really annoys me that you post on here that I refused to reply to you anymore because you took some aspirin. You need to grow up some more, regardless of your chronilogical age! Since I had computer issues a while back show me some specific questions you asked me where I ignored you.

    It isn't your business who I reply to. If I post to Azul Diablo or Reid or any of us that have become close friends over the years that is none of your business! You need to show a little humility as YOU are still using and an addict before you start chastizing ME!!! I have been clean almost ten years and don't need this place to stay clean. I do this for the benefit of others and won't have you JUDGE me! You've increased your dose of subs "at will", not according to any advice from me, and you've tapered as you've seen fit. So before you go off on me understand that you've chosen to do this process your own way, not quite the way that I asked you to do it in the beginning when we first talked. I don't beg anyone to follow my instructions but when people choose to follow their own agenda I let them do as they please. I am not here to baby sit or beg anyone to listen to me and I won't be criticized by someone that I went out of my way to help hearing complaining that I didn't help you as much as I helped someone else. That sounds like a little kid whining! Had you followed my suggestions from our first conversations you would be totally clean by now. You need to THINK before YOU speak so judgementally! God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  2. #32
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    4,697

    Default

    Wait for it..... here it comes..... Wa Wa Wa WORD

  3. #33
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    944

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by VeryCasual View Post
    Thanks everyone for your opinions. Even though some were unnecessarily negative. No biggie. I'm a big boy.

    I'm going to try to stop altogether. Honestly, not sure if it'll work but i'll let you guys know how it turns out.
    people were not being negative, they,including myself, are telling you the truth, facts, not opinions. no one here wants to see anyone fail, however we cannot make anyone want to get clean. If you decide to continue to use I will not condemn you for it, nor will i feel sorry for you. Empathy yes but sympathy kills us.As long as anyone feels sorry for us we do not have to accept responsibility for ourselves,they assume it for us. Good Luck Surfdog

  4. #34
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,226

    Default


    Very casual,

    It's unfortunate that you see anything offered here as "unnecessarily" negative. The disease of addiction is a passionate concern to those of us who have struggled with it. When we see someone else on the cusp of jeopardizing their life, we try to help. Naturally, the decision is yours. We are all given opportunities to arrest this disease at varying places along the way - some make the choice early on, and spare themselves a lot of needless heartache. Some play it out to the bitter end. And most do not overcome this disease at all. Those who find lasting recovery are certainly in the minority.

    Suzie,

    I couldn't help but notice that Robert had posted a helpful suggestion to your thread, Susie, just 5 hours prior to your post on this thread bashing him. Yet you post, "I took one stupid Canadian aspirin (over the counter) and he got mad at me and never came back." Still, you felt entitled to piss and moan over how much MORE help someone else had been given by him.

    I can tell you this (that Robert probably won't tell you) - it is damned hard working with addicts. Most of you won't see the extent of effort and patience it takes, as you won't be here long enough - or involved nearly as deeply as Robert has been. I see it, as I work in the field of substance abuse. It is a difficult, draining position to be in - and if Robert or I didn't have the passion of our faith and convictions to sustain us, we would have quit long ago.

    By in large, addicts are emotionally-stunted adults. That isn't a bashing - that's just the facts. This disease does that to us. We simply stop growing emotionally at the point that we begin to lean on the drugs to get us through life. It may offend some to read that, as it offended me to learn the same when I was first getting clean. But it's common sense. When we depend upon some chemical substance to help us to deal with stress, anxiety, fear, anger - as well as any physical pain, we do not develop the coping skills to manage life without them.

    So - try to imagine what Robert has experienced in nearly 16,000 posts on this forum. It's much the same as I experience working in a treatment center for addiction. It means we're working with people with a myriad of self-absorbed interests and issues. Many feel victimized, and perceive that at every corner. Many feel entitled - as if their decision to get clean should clear the way for an endless supply of love and support. Most do not know how to deal with any pain - physical or emotional - so they overreact to anything that causes discomfort. There are personality 'defects' that are exceedingly common among addicts - arrogance, self-absorption, dishonesty, denial, self-pity (etc,) - making it so difficult for those of us who work with addicts new to recovery. Sometimes, I swear some clients act more like toddlers, whining and stomping their feet for attention to their needs! The burn-out rate is incredibly high. It's truly a role of giving and giving and giving - to folks who generally know little of gratitude, humility or appreciation.

    I used to be quite active on this forum. I respond only occasionally lately, as Robert said - few stick around as he has. I want to help - in fact, I'd love to post more often. But this forum makes it very difficult. There's always someone to complain that we aren't doing "enough." There's always someone (usually still using, or very newly clean) who posts their own version of "advice," which is hogwash at best; lethal at worst. I grew tired of correcting the dangerous suggestions being offered here. I grew tired of confrontations by folks who want to challenge my education or background, now that they have a week or two (or a month or two) of recovery under their belt. And no matter how many folks you take the time to try to help - there's always someone complaining that you didn't do "enough." In all your reading, have you come across those posts?

    Robert's work here is a true, divine GIFT he gives - without reward. IMAGINE what this forum would be like without him!!! It would be the blind leading the blind. Yes, we have a number of others with a lot of experience and knowledge, but no one comes close to what Robert gives here. Imagine how stretched his time must be, can you?

    If you're offended by my comments about the emotionally immature and self-absorbed nature of addicts, consider this. You've continued to post on this forum after writing this post chastising Robert - and not written a single word of apology. 'nuff said.

    God bless,
    Ruth
    surfdog and TriedandTired like this.

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  5. #35
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    944

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ARTIST658 View Post

    Very casual,

    It's unfortunate that you see anything offered here as "unnecessarily" negative. The disease of addiction is a passionate concern to those of us who have struggled with it. When we see someone else on the cusp of jeopardizing their life, we try to help. Naturally, the decision is yours. We are all given opportunities to arrest this disease at varying places along the way - some make the choice early on, and spare themselves a lot of needless heartache. Some play it out to the bitter end. And most do not overcome this disease at all. Those who find lasting recovery are certainly in the minority.

    Suzie,

    I couldn't help but notice that Robert had posted a helpful suggestion to your thread, Susie, just 5 hours prior to your post on this thread bashing him. Yet you post, "I took one stupid Canadian aspirin (over the counter) and he got mad at me and never came back." Still, you felt entitled to piss and moan over how much MORE help someone else had been given by him.

    I can tell you this (that Robert probably won't tell you) - it is damned hard working with addicts. Most of you won't see the extent of effort and patience it takes, as you won't be here long enough - or involved nearly as deeply as Robert has been. I see it, as I work in the field of substance abuse. It is a difficult, draining position to be in - and if Robert or I didn't have the passion of our faith and convictions to sustain us, we would have quit long ago.

    By in large, addicts are emotionally-stunted adults. That isn't a bashing - that's just the facts. This disease does that to us. We simply stop growing emotionally at the point that we begin to lean on the drugs to get us through life. It may offend some to read that, as it offended me to learn the same when I was first getting clean. But it's common sense. When we depend upon some chemical substance to help us to deal with stress, anxiety, fear, anger - as well as any physical pain, we do not develop the coping skills to manage life without them.

    So - try to imagine what Robert has experienced in nearly 16,000 posts on this forum. It's much the same as I experience working in a treatment center for addiction. It means we're working with people with a myriad of self-absorbed interests and issues. Many feel victimized, and perceive that at every corner. Many feel entitled - as if their decision to get clean should clear the way for an endless supply of love and support. Most do not know how to deal with any pain - physical or emotional - so they overreact to anything that causes discomfort. There are personality 'defects' that are exceedingly common among addicts - arrogance, self-absorption, dishonesty, denial, self-pity (etc,) - making it so difficult for those of us who work with addicts new to recovery. Sometimes, I swear some clients act more like toddlers, whining and stomping their feet for attention to their needs! The burn-out rate is incredibly high. It's truly a role of giving and giving and giving - to folks who generally know little of gratitude, humility or appreciation.

    I used to be quite active on this forum. I respond only occasionally lately, as Robert said - few stick around as he has. I want to help - in fact, I'd love to post more often. But this forum makes it very difficult. There's always someone to complain that we aren't doing "enough." There's always someone (usually still using, or very newly clean) who posts their own version of "advice," which is hogwash at best; lethal at worst. I grew tired of correcting the dangerous suggestions being offered here. I grew tired of confrontations by folks who want to challenge my education or background, now that they have a week or two (or a month or two) of recovery under their belt. And no matter how many folks you take the time to try to help - there's always someone complaining that you didn't do "enough." In all your reading, have you come across those posts?

    Robert's work here is a true, divine GIFT he gives - without reward. IMAGINE what this forum would be like without him!!! It would be the blind leading the blind. Yes, we have a number of others with a lot of experience and knowledge, but no one comes close to what Robert gives here. Imagine how stretched his time must be, can you?

    If you're offended by my comments about the emotionally immature and self-absorbed nature of addicts, consider this. You've continued to post on this forum after writing this post chastising Robert - and not written a single word of apology. 'nuff said.

    God bless,
    Ruth
    Ruth very well said!!! And how very true! I too worked in that field for over twenty years, when I reached a point where I could retire I told myself enough and got out. And have never regretted my decision. The one that always got me was "my life still sucks, nothing is changing" and you ask them what are you doing different, answer always came back "nothing" Well duh!
    People are going to do what they want to do.
    Recently Robert agreed to help my son, alas, my son being as smart a dumdass as I was at his age had to do it the hard way, but he did do it, no teacher like experience,although she be a cruel taskmaster.
    Robert is special, I have no idea where he gets gets his energy or his patience and knowledge but he is a blessing to a lot of people here. I hope he can keep that exuberance which is hard to do when people refuse to listen God Bless Surfdog

  6. #36
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    944

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    Suzie ..... How dare you chastize and JUDGE me over not helping YOU when you are complaining about people judging others! You have been here a short time, I pulled you out of misery when you tried to cold turkey and I gave you very specific instructions after stabilizing you, (the "Canadian aspirin" you took are codiene by the way and you knew they were codiene), and I never abandoned you! I have sat up day and night for five years at this goofy screen answering the same questions over and over and over again. The answers to questions from around the world are on this forum everywhere wth the almost 16,000 posts and replies I've made. I don't intend to continue to spend 24 hours a day on the forum anymore, though I can assure you that when you are long gone like nearly everyone else who joins this forum and goes crazy posting, you'll end up disappearing eventually just like most everyone else does. But I'll still be here working with addicts long after you've moved on and blown off this place. I've seen it over and again for too long. I have proven myself here and you don't jump on ME!

    I can't count the emails, phone calls, posts here, facebook messages, etc, that I receive from across the planet daily. I spent 18 hours in person helping save the life of an addict yesterday that is a lifelong friend. Monday I had a Sub DR from MA call me on the phone and I spent nearly two hours with her. No telling how many addicts that will help as now ONE MORE sub dr knows how to treat their sub patients. And for every bit of time or help I offer to people I ask for nothing in return but to give God the glory! I surely don't have to account for my time to you. That really annoys me that you post on here that I refused to reply to you anymore because you took some aspirin. You need to grow up some more, regardless of your chronilogical age! Since I had computer issues a while back show me some specific questions you asked me where I ignored you.

    It isn't your business who I reply to. If I post to Azul Diablo or Reid or any of us that have become close friends over the years that is none of your business! You need to show a little humility as YOU are still using and an addict before you start chastizing ME!!! I have been clean almost ten years and don't need this place to stay clean. I do this for the benefit of others and won't have you JUDGE me! You've increased your dose of subs "at will", not according to any advice from me, and you've tapered as you've seen fit. So before you go off on me understand that you've chosen to do this process your own way, not quite the way that I asked you to do it in the beginning when we first talked. I don't beg anyone to follow my instructions but when people choose to follow their own agenda I let them do as they please. I am not here to baby sit or beg anyone to listen to me and I won't be criticized by someone that I went out of my way to help hearing complaining that I didn't help you as much as I helped someone else. That sounds like a little kid whining! Had you followed my suggestions from our first conversations you would be totally clean by now. You need to THINK before YOU speak so judgementally! God bless.
    Well said ! Your actions and reputation speak loudly for you ! God Bless Surfdog
    ARTIST658 likes this.

  7. #37
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    16,689

    Default

    Surfdog and Ruth ...... Thanks, my friends! I am just giving back a tiny bit for my Savior allowing me to live, for HIS forgiveness and having the grace to leave me with some brain cells that still work most of the time. HE gets all the glory for ANYTHING good that I do. For of myself, I am just a pile of dirty rags, a puddle of dirty water at best. God bless.
    ARTIST658 and surfdog like this.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  8. #38
    Anonymous Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SuzieOf View Post
    Yes, of course you are right. However I guess I expect more from you than bashing a basher. I have spent literally over a hundred hours reading here and nothing even comes close to the support and love you have received in your thread. Even after countless relapses no one was EVER harsh with you!! Or even brutally honest for that matter. Not even Cheeky who tells it like it is in other threads..not even Robert who posted more in your thread than any other I have seen (when not helping with a taper), he even stayed up all night worrying about you and I took one stupid Canadian aspirin (over the counter) and he got mad at me and never came back. You even posted regarding Adderall, Scotch whiskey, xanax, etc. and it went unmentioned in the replies.

    Every time you fell all you got was positive support. We all deserve that kind of love and support and most importantly the patience. We all have a story. I held my mother and my brother as they died and stayed with them until the last moment praying the whole time... both in the same year.

    Do I sound jealous? Well, maybe a little but I'm not on the other side yet but doing well and feeling quite alone. I would give anything to have made friends and been showered with the love and constant support that you received. And as you said many times you could not have made it without it so when you get frustrated by the forum because people are not "getting it" and asking for advice and not taking it, it is part of the long process as you know. Nobody can do it until they are ready and even then it is not easy. It took many tries even for you. I hope this doesn't sound harsh because I don't mean it to and I am talking to myself more than you. Getting clean is a very emotional process and I do believe that what helps more than harshness/telling it like it is.... is love, support and patience... what hurts is judgement.
    i seen this yesterday and thought, ''wot the....?""" but these days i dont bite so much on here. but suzie, actually i did tell azul my friend bluey, plenty of times to get it together, how dare you use me as a bs example of your jealousy. wah wah, no one helps me. wah wah wah...

    yup. you need to do some growing up, and appreciate the help YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN.. doesnt matter who helps you, its that you receive it in the first place....
    MP5 and caughtagain like this.

  9. #39
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    944

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    Surfdog and Ruth ...... Thanks, my friends! I am just giving back a tiny bit for my Savior allowing me to live, for HIS forgiveness and having the grace to leave me with some brain cells that still work most of the time. HE gets all the glory for ANYTHING good that I do. For of myself, I am just a pile of dirty rags, a puddle of dirty water at best. God bless.
    Robert ,to a certain point I disagree my friend. I have come to believe,no to know, that what I used to see as a curse was in actuality a blessing. To have this disease and to be one of the few to recover. I believe that those of us that do make it are "chosen", for lack of a better word here, that the hardship and pain were not in vain but to be used for a greater purpose other than our ego or pride. As one of my mentors told me " Lest we forget it is not what we do,but, what God does through us" I firmly believe that.
    The God I know does not make a pile of dirty rags or dirty water, but a vessel that carries a valuable and precious message and cause to others . God Bless my friend Surfdog

  10. #40
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    16,689

    Default

    Surfdog .... I agree with you completely. I guess what I meant to say is that without HIM I am nothing. I am a new person in Christ, I know that, and that He led me to do what I do to help others get through the things I've survived as well. I am totally convinced He allowed me to survive my life in hell to bring glory to HIM!!! God didn't make me into a pile of dirty rags, that is what I was of my own doing, He changed all that. In Him all things become new! Perhaps that is worded better. On my way to Bible study class before church. Will be teaching Acts 5 and 6 leading up to the trial of Stephen today. Be back online later in the day. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  11. #41
    SuzieOf is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    218

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ARTIST658 View Post




    Robert's work here is a true, divine GIFT he gives - without reward. IMAGINE what this forum would be like without him!!! It would be the blind leading the blind. Yes, we have a number of others with a lot of experience and knowledge, but no one comes close to what Robert gives here. Imagine how stretched his time must be, can you?

    If you're offended by my comments about the emotionally immature and self-absorbed nature of addicts, consider this. You've continued to post on this forum after writing this post chastising Robert - and not written a single word of apology. 'nuff said.

    God bless,
    Ruth

    I didn't see this thread until now and I certainly do want to apologize. I was having an emotional day and I never meant to sound like I didn't think that Robert did enough for me. I can see how it did sound like that but honestly I didn't mean it that way. I just wanted to show Azul that he was lucky that he had so much support and wishing everyone who posted here had the same. Please forgive me. I want to pay forward and be of help on this forum and I will be very careful what I say from now on. I actually feel that Robert did a lot for me and I'm embarrassed after re-reading my earlier post. It was an emotional day.

    I do realize how difficult it is for you and Robert helping a never ending stream of people and answering the same questions over and over only to have them disappear. I do appreciate everything the old timers do and I'm so sorry if I sounded like I didn't.
    Last edited by SuzieOf; 08-26-2012 at 10:43 PM.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22