[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Hello, I am very new to this site. I have been reading and reading and reading for days now. I think thissite can help me. I am a young girl who has a wonderfull job , a new house, been married for about 5 months ,and live a "normal" life....until I get home from work around 6:00 and eat a painkiller for NO reason at all. I startted about a year or longer ago.. has been a habbit since. No reason just used it when my teeth would hurt, I have had a couple mouth surgieries nothing too major... then I statred doing it every day .I take 1-2 pills a day , I will take more if its a vicoden or a perc, I only take about one oxy or 2 oxy if I have it. I do not do them all day at work PERIOD. Just when I get home. I have tried to stop SO many times and just cant do it , I have a very important job that must be at everyday and I am scared I am going to lose it if I go any further. I was clean monday,then last night I ate another one!!!! I was so mad at myself. .. but the anxiety was flipping me out! SO today is another new day and when I get home I will try and MAKE sure I dont eat one... I want my life back and to be happy without a pill, I always think"nothing else makes me happy" AND THAT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME" I am a beautiful 24yr old girl that has BIG plans for the future ...HELP.

[TTTDogs]

IVY,

So happy you posted - that will be HUGE in your recovery - my dear, you have taken the biggest step on your own - the step of admitting you have a problem - no excuses - no blaming it on others -you just stood tall and took responsibility - HUGE my dear - HUGE!

So - next steps - we are here for you - know that believe that - tke comfort in that - gain your strength and courage from that.

This site saved my life - I will not bore you with my story - but you can read my thread (to help you sleep) "Escaping the morphine prison" - 10 years of a concentrated form of morphine along with percocet addiction - I went cold turkey - and today I celebrate my 18th day drug free - Oh What a Feeling!

You have much less a habit and I would suspect your wd will be easier - there are 2 ways to go - to taper - or to jump off cold turkey....... you need to be really honest about the amount of your usage - if it is onlly one pill a day - you certainly could choose either method - I am not one to recommend a taper schedule - but others will chime in I am sure .....

I can speak to the cold turkey process - I would immediately get the ingredients for the Thomas Recipe - and start taking the vitamins and the tryptophan - most swear by it .......I personally would not use any prescription drug aids for sleep or anxiety - at your level you should be ok without -------

You need to set your self up for success - prepare yourself for a couple of down days - clear your calendar - .... is there anyone you can confide in - not necessary but helpful................there most likely would be some anxiety and sleeplessness - a general sick kind of feeling - like slight flu - but the tough symptoms should only last 3 days or so .............. then you will get better every day - and break thru to the OTHER SIDE - when the physical symptoms will subside ........it is a bit of a struggle to remain patient until you feel normal again ... but that is where this forum comes in handy - just post ALL your thoughts - pains - fears and someone is here to listen - someone who REALLY understands what you are going thru.............

So, my friend, you have been thru the toughest mental part and that IS the decision to take action - YOU sound like a very bright and sincere young lady with a brilliant future ahead of you - you have admitted your mistake and NOW it is time to take back your life - and charge ahead to be all that you can be - DRUG FREE! Good on you Girl! You CAN DO THIS!

We are HERE HUGS TTT

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Originally Posted by TTTDogs

IVY,

So happy you posted - that will be HUGE in your recovery - my dear, you have taken the biggest step on your own - the step of admitting you have a problem - no excuses - no blaming it on others -you just stood tall and took responsibility - HUGE my dear - HUGE!

So - next steps - we are here for you - know that believe that - tke comfort in that - gain your strength and courage from that.

This site saved my life - I will not bore you with my story - but you can read my thread (to help you sleep) "Escaping the morphine prison" - 10 years of a concentrated form of morphine along with percocet addiction - I went cold turkey - and today I celebrate my 18th day drug free - Oh What a Feeling!

You have much less a habit and I would suspect your wd will be easier - there are 2 ways to go - to taper - or to jump off cold turkey....... you need to be really honest about the amount of your usage - if it is onlly one pill a day - you certainly could choose either method - I am not one to recommend a taper schedule - but others will chime in I am sure .....

I can speak to the cold turkey process - I would immediately get the ingredients for the Thomas Recipe - and start taking the vitamins and the tryptophan - most swear by it .......I personally would not use any prescription drug aids for sleep or anxiety - at your level you should be ok without -------

You need to set your self up for success - prepare yourself for a couple of down days - clear your calendar - .... is there anyone you can confide in - not necessary but helpful................there most likely would be some anxiety and sleeplessness - a general sick kind of feeling - like slight flu - but the tough symptoms should only last 3 days or so .............. then you will get better every day - and break thru to the OTHER SIDE - when the physical symptoms will subside ........it is a bit of a struggle to remain patient until you feel normal again ... but that is where this forum comes in handy - just post ALL your thoughts - pains - fears and someone is here to listen - someone who REALLY understands what you are going thru.............

So, my friend, you have been thru the toughest mental part and that IS the decision to take action - YOU sound like a very bright and sincere young lady with a brilliant future ahead of you - you have admitted your mistake and NOW it is time to take back your life - and charge ahead to be all that you can be - DRUG FREE! Good on you Girl! You CAN DO THIS!

We are HERE HUGS TTT

TTT- thank you for your sweet thoughts and caring so much. I read your whole entire story from day one... i almost felt like i was there with you.are addictions yes are diffrent in a way , but yet the same...the fact that I feel I need to take pills everyday to be who I am..I am admitting another fault now, my loving caring husband has NO idea of this. It has become me....He cannot find out or he will divorce me , I know it... He hates drugs and every time we watch..Intervention or "Gone to far" w/DJ am he has to turn the TV off cause it makes him sick... and I live a secret life that he has no idea about.before the pills I was ALWAYS out with my girlfriends shopping,going dancing, planning are next outfit.. now I sit at home and watch TV and smoke cigarettes , and talk on the phone- Since my habit is fairly small ,I KNOW it can get worse and quick... Do you think I can get thru this without him finding out? and being able to be at work , and perform? I am so scared.

[TTTDogs]

Ivy,

Ok - let's figure this out - I understand your reluctance to tell him and you may be able to get it done - it is afterall flu season and if you choose the ct route you can use that as your excuse - ... but in order to try to undersatnd the level of wd - you need to share a typical week of usage - you mention 1 pill - then more if Vic's and perc's - how many iis more ? in a day - week - and is it a year or alot longer that you have been abusing - try to remember - the effects of the wd are related to the amount and time of usage - so let us know your REAL usage and time frame - then we can discuss the best way to get you to the OTHER SIDE -

To other forum friends - any imput for Ivy on tapering would be greatly appreciated - can she work? how long ? etc....

Hugs TTT

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Originally Posted by TTTDogs

Ivy,

Ok - let's figure this out - I understand your reluctance to tell him and you may be able to get it done - it is afterall flu season and if you choose the ct route you can use that as your excuse - ... but in order to try to undersatnd the level of wd - you need to share a typical week of usage - you mention 1 pill - then more if Vic's and perc's - how many iis more ? in a day - week - and is it a year or alot longer that you have been abusing - try to remember - the effects of the wd are related to the amount and time of usage - so let us know your REAL usage and time frame - then we can discuss the best way to get you to the OTHER SIDE -

To other forum friends - any imput for Ivy on tapering would be greatly appreciated - can she work? how long ? etc....

Hugs TTT

TTT-
Thanks for your reply..Okay I have been eating everyday... 1 oxy for about 2 months .. Before that I was just eating Vicoden and Perc... like 2 -4 a day.. on a regular day 2 on a weekend or IF I had more I would eat 4. I have never eaten more than 2 oxys in one day, I do not snort them either, just swallow them. The Vicoden and percs have been a habit for about 1 year and 4 months.-I only started eating just one , but never got past 4. Do you get what I am saying? I stopped during the week of my wedding(in May)and Honeymoon EASY.. I had no withdrawal except anxiety , and that wasn't even that bad..But now I am worried since I couldn't get perc's or Vics now I have gone to something dangerous OXY I never ever ever thought I would eat one and I have been eating them everyday like I said for about 2 months maybe even a little less.If I do taper off I will def need advice. Thank you so much TTT your so nice..I hope I can do this!!!

[Freedom4me]

Ivy,
I would just taper off slowly. Break up the pill. Take 2/3rds for 3 or 4 days, then take 1/2 for 3 or 4 days, then take 1/4 for 3 or 4 days. It will be fine and you should hardly have any symptoms. I suspect your addiction is more of a mental thing for you, a habit. I really think you can do it that way very successfully if you have the disclipline. Best of luck.

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Originally Posted by Freedom4me

Ivy,
I would just taper off slowly. Break up the pill. Take 2/3rds for 3 or 4 days, then take 1/2 for 3 or 4 days, then take 1/4 for 3 or 4 days. It will be fine and you should hardly have any symptoms. I suspect your addiction is more of a mental thing for you, a habit. I really think you can do it that way very successfully if you have the disclipline. Best of luck.

Thanks for your reply. I only have 5 pills left. do you suggest I cut them with a razor? and I am not that smart when it comes to cutting pills into 2/3.. and 1/4 and 1/2 .... the oxys are small.. So I wonder how I can do this..without screwing up. I think your right too, its a habit for me when I get home from work, its the FIRST thing I do when I get home... I need to do something else when I get home, like clean or something..Like I said I did not eat any on Monday and could not sleep at all so I ate a Zanax and I slept all night, do you suggest I eat those too? Or will I be okay sleeping if I just taper off? Thanks any replies or comments help me allot.

[kathleen5hockey]

Ivy, I am not an addict, live with one but here is my 2 cents. Every evening instead of sitting around go for a walk. Take a class at your local school. I have learned that you must change your life style. Even if you don't want to go out rent a yoga cd, anything to get you moving. Sitting around will just let your mind roam. As stated above, it is flu season if you decide to go cold turkey. You really have to change how you handle the evening hours. Good luck! You can do it!!!!!!!

[caughtagain]

Hi Ivy, I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents here. Whether you go Ct or Taper, the important thing that you have started is to post. In my opinion with 5 pills left, I would go CT. Either way, you are going to feel some withdrawl syptoms. So why not just embrace the fact that for 5 days or so you are going to feel like you have the flu and get through it. With 5 pills left, I do not think the taper would make it symptom free. Just my opinion and because of my respect for others opinions on this site, whatever your choice we are here for you. As far as going at it alone with no one knowing. I did it. I worked every day through it and no one knew. I was on a 10-15 vic a day habit for about a year. It can be done because although no one at home knows, we do and we will be with you every step of the way. Let us know what we can do to help and we will be there for you....... CA

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Originally Posted by caughtagain

Hi Ivy, I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents here. Whether you go Ct or Taper, the important thing that you have started is to post. In my opinion with 5 pills left, I would go CT. Either way, you are going to feel some withdrawl syptoms. So why not just embrace the fact that for 5 days or so you are going to feel like you have the flu and get through it. With 5 pills left, I do not think the taper would make it symptom free. Just my opinion and because of my respect for others opinions on this site, whatever your choice we are here for you. As far as going at it alone with no one knowing. I did it. I worked every day through it and no one knew. I was on a 10-15 vic a day habit for about a year. It can be done because although no one at home knows, we do and we will be with you every step of the way. Let us know what we can do to help and we will be there for you....... CA

CA- Thanks I am a very hard worker and I am so ready to do this, The fact that no one knows make it a little harder ... ya know?I mean I am lying to my husband, friends, colleagues, my family at that... They are So proud of me When I was 18 I was a dancer (maybe a little too much info but I would like for you all to know my story) For 2 years... I loved doing it my parents HATED it they were so mad at me .. I never did drugs at the club or nothing barley even drank...Then I stopped dancing and got a real professional career- I bought my first house at 21 and a new car at 23... and got married...They are so happy for me and just think I am the greatest...Little do they know I am addicted to pain pills.I will lose everything if these pills take over my life like they have been , I have to do this for me.. I am in tears right now at work just so embarrassed of myself.I know my addiction is not that out of control but it is to me.... I am barley 100 lbs and about 5ft. When I leave work today I will do everything in my power to NOT take one...I will go visit my grandmother . I think with 5 pills left I should just throw them away in the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[caughtagain]

I understand. Perception is reality. We give the perception to people that we are one way, yet our lives on the dark side are another. THe good news is, within 5 days you will be through the WD and your head will be clearer. A few tips. Try to stay busy, excercise if you can. And realize and wrap your head around the fact that what you are doing is positive and will make you better. The cost, well the cost is simple, a few days of feeling like dirt. Hang in there and post as much as you want. When you make it through, and you will do it, you can feel very proud. But you know what, be proud now, because you are here posting..... CA

[TTTDogs]

Ivy,

There are pros and cons to both methods of detox - whatever you choose you will be supported here -

If you go ct - the timing is pretty good - your last pill was last night right? . ok that would make tomorrow day 2 - the worse symptoms for me were from about 40 to 70 hours - if you can bear thru it tomorrow at work - then you will have the weekend to go thru the worst of it - by Sunday - you should began to feel better - only you know if you can pull off being "sick" with your husband there - hot baths were essential for me - and staying busy moving around - I took long walks - hard to do - but oh so worth it - I posted alot - especially during the rough moments - and you have to remember MY DOC and duration of use was much more than yours - but I would suspect you will have some wd symtoms..........

So it is your call - to taper would mean a week of two of mild symptoms - and then jump off - or go it ct and get it over with in 4 days - you are already approaching your first X on the calendar - you could always give the ct a try and see how you feel - Very wise words were given to me during my ct - just make it thru the next 10 minutes - anyone can do that - then repeat, and repeat and repeat............... you will come out the other side!
I promise!

We are here for you - to hold your hand - squeeze it tight and pull you through to the other side!

Hugs TTT

[Freedom4me]

Ivy,
If you want to taper I would break 3 pills in half and take one half each day when you usually take just one. That will take you six days. The the last 2 pills I would do my best to break them in quarters (break the halfs in halfs). Take the quarter of the pill for 8 days and then when they are gone you really won't have too much in you to jump off of. Or you can just flush them. Your choice. We will support which ever you choose.

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Originally Posted by Freedom4me

Ivy,
If you want to taper I would break 3 pills in half and take one half each day when you usually take just one. That will take you six days. The the last 2 pills I would do my best to break them in quarters (break the halfs in halfs). Take the quarter of the pill for 8 days and then when they are gone you really won't have too much in you to jump off of. Or you can just flush them. Your choice. We will support which ever you choose.

Okay girl here I go. your right my last pill was last night..I am about to leave work right know. I live in Florida and it is 5:00pm here right now. I am going to think on my way home about the best plan for me! taper or just CT.. I hope I can do this I want it to bad I can taste it! I will be back here tomorrow morning to tell you all how I am doing... And you know what My husband left this morning to go hunting until Sunday , so If I go Cold turkey today my worst symptoms he wont see. Ok here I am on day 1 lets see if I can finish it. xoxo ivy*

[caughtagain]

we are here for you which ever way, your attitude is where it needs to be. Post, post often and we will guide you....CA

[gordoheli]

When you say, *OXY*, do you mean oxycontin? Percocet is OXYcodone, and lorcet is HYDROcodone. The reason I ask is because if you mean by *OXY*, that you are taking oxycontin, then what mg? If you are meaning oxycodone, then it is the same as a percocet depending on how many mg. Oxycontin comes in 10mg and up. A 10 mg is equal to 2 percocets, 20mg is equal to 4 percocets and so on.

My opinion is that the longer you hold the pills, the more chance of relapse. If you aren't taking oxycontin, and only lowmg oxycodone, your best chance would be to get rid of them and to the CT. If you are taking oxycontin, depending on how strong will be a major factor in what to do.

A 1 or 2 pill a day of percocet, although scarey to you now going in, would be very easy for you to do. Like everyone said, you will have a 4-5 day *FLU*, probably something you have already experienced. If you do this, tell everyone you are sick and they wont know the difference. You will also experience some depression but it will go away soon after you quit and start producing your own endorphines. I wish you the very best and really, do this now for you and your new family, you will feel great joy for doing this!

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Originally Posted by gordoheli

When you say, *OXY*, do you mean oxycontin? Percocet is OXYcodone, and lorcet is HYDROcodone. The reason I ask is because if you mean by *OXY*, that you are taking oxycontin, then what mg? If you are meaning oxycodone, then it is the same as a percocet depending on how many mg. Oxycontin comes in 10mg and up. A 10 mg is equal to 2 percocets, 20mg is equal to 4 percocets and so on.

My opinion is that the longer you hold the pills, the more chance of relapse. If you aren't taking oxycontin, and only lowmg oxycodone, your best chance would be to get rid of them and to the CT. If you are taking oxycontin, depending on how strong will be a major factor in what to do.

A 1 or 2 pill a day of percocet, although scarey to you now going in, would be very easy for you to do. Like everyone said, you will have a 4-5 day *FLU*, probably something you have already experienced. If you do this, tell everyone you are sick and they wont know the difference. You will also experience some depression but it will go away soon after you quit and start producing your own endorphines. I wish you the very best and really, do this now for you and your new family, you will feel great joy for doing this!

when I say Oxy - I mean Oxycodone 30mg...So thats like 4 Percs huh? So I decided when I got home last night to taper off. I know you all on this site will support me...I split one in half and just ate a half..I was alone last night and did allot of thinking..I thought to myself what I will do with my time when I get off work..I think I am going to startteaching Cheerleading or Gymnastics, I was a gymnast for 9 years.I also thought about getting a Youga DVD like TTTsaid.. I do not have a computer at home, so it will be hard to talk Since I am tapering off the drug , does anyone suggest if I should use a benzo for sleep ? or do you think I will be okay- Also What kind of Vitamens should I start taking? Thanks *Ivy

[gordoheli]

Regular percocet is 5mg, so If you are taking a 30mg oxycontin, it will be the same as 6-5mg percocets. I have no experience with the 30's so not positive. The important thing is knowing how big the monkey is so friends can give the most accurate advise for YOUR situation. You seem strong, you can do most anything you set out to do, you can easily do this if youre truly ready, we/I believe in you. Wishing you nothing but the best!!

[cheekysod]

hi ivy, stay strong girl you can do this.
triple t and i talk all the time, and she has all the good advice from just getting clean for around 3 or 4 weeks now.
the tapering is a good idea, some people don't have the self discipline, but if you do, i am sure it is better than just stopping ct at a higher dose.
make them last as long as you can, then go for it.
i wouldnt recommend benzos, but thats me personally. i would only keep them for real emergencies if i absolutely couldnt get to sleep, which seems to be one of the main symptoms as well as restless legs.
good luck
cheeky
p.s im down to 1mg of sub, nearly there.

[dago77]

...Hey Ivy! I have done what u r trying to do a few times actually. I really only used a small amount like u too. I would say the same thing that Freedom did, its probally more like a habbit for u at this point. If it was me when I got home I would wait it out as long as I could. I mean, I dont know if ur actually feeling withdrwal or just some anxiety or what ever. But wait it out as long as u possibly can. And then wait even longer! Basically until u feel like ********. Then take half. Just keep spacing it out as far as u can. If ur taking 2 a day, try to make with just one. Do that for a few days then try a quater for the next few days. Just take as little as possible to stay out of W/D. I have done this so many times I was always able to et down to a very small amount. I use to take a half a pill a day at one point years ago, all my buddies would laugh at me. It was just enough to keep the drug in me, and stay out of W/D. Its really a mind game when u get down that low. U may feel like ******** a little bit here and there. When u r finally taking barley anything a day and u just cut it all, u may still have a few rough days. Take some vitamins, eat good food, and hit the gym! Any kind of work out will help u so much! I know i am making sound so easy, I know it isnt. For me it was always easier to go from 10 a day to one a day, then it was for me to go from 1/2 to nothing. Its not taking anything that is tough, i get it! Eveyone does! I would try to space small peices out as far as u could, or try just getting by with half of what u r taking daily but waiting as long as u can and just keep doing that until ur basically at nothing. Use the Xanny to help chill u out. I do that also. Just dont get hooked on those! Like u said, find something to do, I would seriously hit the Gym and work out, run, sweat, do it all! If u dont work out often, u will feel like ******** the next day anyways!lol U wont even know the difference. But u will feel so much better mentally i gaurntee it! I have messed up so many times and im not a Doc but I do know that exercise is the best thing for w/d. I have been there enough times. Give it a try and good luck!

Ryan

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

With myself.. So I couldnt do it. I couldnt do it . I am in such a hard place right now. What happend was my best friend flew on on Wednesday to visit me and styes from Wed- till Sunday. I continued to take the pills! I even took 2 each night.. I have never done 2 in one night for more than 2 nights in a row,anyways last night I took only one and I was tossing and turning all night, I woke up with a sore throat and bad cauph, and felling like I am going to be sick any moment. I am not going to be so hard on my self though... But I feel like my breathing is getting worse. Today I will take a half tomorrow I will take a half of a half and see how I go from there. I feel like I am getting into a DEEP derpression , All I want to do is cry ,cry,cry,cry.My anxiety is getting worse... I am for real this time guys please dont be mad at me , please.I really am done , Idont want to feel like this anymore.

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

I didnt get any responses back from my last post, but I dont care I am going to keep going... any who I am on DAY2 with no oxys. Last night was really bad.I was uo all night sweating, and then feeling cold... I did not get any sleep. It was also VERY hard for me to eat yesterday day, I have not tried to eat anything today, I am about to go get some oakmeal and coffe? I am at work and I am going to try my BEST to get through this day the best I can.. So many times I hear these little voices in my head that say " just take one" and you will be able to go to sleep , but I AM NOT DOING IT. Everytime I hear the voices I tell my self" god please give me strength" I CAN do this!!!!!!!!!!" This morning when I did get out of bed , I dry heaved , tried to throw up but nothing was coming out , I was shaking and scared. but I got up and continuted my day. I am at work and I am going to do everything in my power to get through the day and night...xoxoxo Oh and I also feel like crying ? Its only day 2 and I am crying in the car when i am alone... am I getting depressed? thnx xoxox

[caughtagain]

HI Ivy, The things you are going through are all part of the WD. If you choose to stick it out, they will pass after a few more days. You are on day two. Stick to it, be proud of each second you make, instead of letting the voices win. Do you have any Oxys? If so, flush them. Take all avenues for you to use out of the picture. You can do it Ivy, look for that next X at the end of the day. Remember, as I said before, this is a process not an event. Work the process, understand that what you are going through is the cost of abusing your body, BUT , BUT, the reward is waiting. The question is are you going to grab it? We are here for you. Hang tough Ivy..... CA

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Originally Posted by caughtagain

HI Ivy, The things you are going through are all part of the WD. If you choose to stick it out, they will pass after a few more days. You are on day two. Stick to it, be proud of each second you make, instead of letting the voices win. Do you have any Oxys? If so, flush them. Take all avenues for you to use out of the picture. You can do it Ivy, look for that next X at the end of the day. Remember, as I said before, this is a process not an event. Work the process, understand that what you are going through is the cost of abusing your body, BUT , BUT, the reward is waiting. The question is are you going to grab it? We are here for you. Hang tough Ivy..... CA

Thanks CA- I have been waiting for someone to talk to me! No I have NO MORE Oxy's... Thank God. I have no money left I used it all on them . I am at work at it is sooooo hard not to just get up and leave and go to bed. But like I said I am going to get thru this, I just keep thinking about what my life used to be like....WILL it be like that again? I get scared that I will never ever be the person I was , will i be happy just being me? when will this be over? when will I get sleep again.. MAN am I taking this harder than I ever, ever , ever thought. But I am going to do it!!

[caughtagain]

You will be you again, have faith in that. As time passes clarity will return and it is kind of like a rebirth. You will start to notice the nice things in life and say, Ahh, that IS pretty cool. Also, you will be more level in bad times. Opiates give us a false sense of euphoria, a false sense of bravado. But the other side, the darker side is what you are seeing. Kick its A$$. Embrace the fact that you feel like tail. Make your mind up that you ARE going to make it 3 more days. Be proud of each X. And most importantly remember that this fight does not end. We are all in a lifelong war. During our "fight", we will have many battles. You lost your last battle, you caved.... so don't beat yourself up, convince yourself that YOU ARE GOING TO WIN THE WAR. But for now, treat the symptoms, drink as much water/gatorade as you can. Walk a bit, get those natural endorphins going again. Post, and Post often. Create your journal of your battle so that you can look back and see how far you have come. Ivy, life is hard and sometimes it sure can stink, but I assure you that life on lifes terms is better than the alternative of opiates. Hang tough Ivy. Take it one second at a time, but know this. Time passes and it DOES get better.........CA

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

Sometimes I wonder why I ever did this to myself in the first place, like I said before .. I have so much to be happy for, why would I need a pill to make me any happier? you can get addicted so quick, and the withdrawl is like DEATH, I know I am not going to die , but man do I feel like it.. My husband thinks I have the flu , I am lying to him, and that hurts me so bad also.I cant wait till I am done being sick and so the things I love without being on a pills.I am getting reallly bad stomach cramps now, man do they hurt!!!!!! I have the thomas reciepe ingreadiants but not sure how to use it...I looked for the vitaman's at CVS(drug store ) and could find the 2 vitamans it says to get! what kind of vitamans should I buy? like womens daily? and should I take them in the morning? or should I wait until night time? I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be the WORST and I really want to be prepared. Also what kind of foods are good to eat? that "might" go down easy? I am so scared for tomorrow! but I will keep fighting. thanks and any replies would be greatly appreciated! xoxo Ivy

[caughtagain]

A daily Vit is good. I took a bunch of immodium and Pepto. I drank a ton of water and gatorade. As far as food, think bland. Banana's are a good source of pottasium that will help with the cramping (muscles). At night I took Tylenol PM and drank sleepy time tea. It works for some and not so much for others. Yeah, the next two days are going to be the hardest for you. But as I said, have the warriors mentality. Kick its A$$, don't let it beat you again. Just take it minute by minute. Don't try to figure things out now, just get through the physical WD. Remember, Process..... That is huge. This is the part of the process that you need to deal with right now and also.. DO NOT USE...... CA

[dago77]

..Hi Ivy! I posted to you a few days ago. I have been on higher doses and lower ones like you have been on. Detoxing off either has never been fun. When i would get on the low doses it was always so hard for me to go from 1 or 2 a day to nothing at all. So hard, I know. I tried to tll u some things that worked for me in the past with spreading them out as far as possible. But I guess u finally just made the jump. Thats pretty sweet Ivy! You need to fill the voids! Its always been very hard for me. You have to find some new things to do. Some new hobbies. Anything to keep your mind busy. For me the gym has always been the best med for detox. It really helps mentally too! Get some good vitamins, eat some good food, and get in the gym if u can. I dont know if u have been through a detox before or not? I have done it with out any exercise at all, and doone it when I was in the gym everyday. I can tell you, for me it was like cutting the time in half! It just helpd everything go buy so much faster. U will gt such a great mental boost. Not saying it is easy Ivy. It just always made things a bit better for me. Give it a try if u can. I think u will b surprised on how much better u will feel! Good Luck Ivy!

Ryan

[TTTDogs]

Ivy,

You can do this - think of it this way -- "you never have to feel this way again" NEVER - and the harder the pain - the greater the reward......... you are close - very close - the way I got thru my CT is to think that for every hour you spend feeling like H3LL - you waste---- if you do not stick with it and come out the othere side - I PROMISE YOU - you are 2/3rd's thru - the symptoms will start to level and then subside - trust you WILL be yourself again - I am 1 month CLEAN today and I everyday I discover SO much more about my life - you will see. I promise...

We have your hand - squeezing it TIGHT and pulling you thru to the other side!!!

LOVE & HUGS TTT

[IvyWantsTobehappy]

So its the morning of day 3.. Still no sleep at all !! I have been taking a tiny bit of zanax at night just to help me fall asleep... but then a short 2-3 hours later I am up all night. for the past 2 days I have been going to bed VERY early too, I never go to bed at 9pm I usually stay up to atleast...11 ! I havent even smoked a cigg since I quit pills on Monday.. I wish I could go to the gyn Ryan but I have no money to go... so I will start by walking around the block a couple times. I have noticed something else.. I feel more *hitty when I am lying in bed sweating , than I do when I am up. when I did pills I would wake up groggy , wheezing, and tired all day. yesterday got better for me UNTIL it was time to go to sleeeeppp I wonder when I will be able to sleep again.... Its is the worst feeling, going to bed and wanting so bad to sleep.That is prob one of the most worst feelings I have ever had and Inever ever want to feel like this again. So early morning of DAY 3 I am very proud of myself for coming this far. I am going to kick this addiction in the A$$!! and never let it come back into my life NEVER. It is simply not worth all this...at all