[myhubbyandi]

Hi Eric!

You posted on my thread, and I wanted to let you know I really appreciated it! I have been following your story for awhile.

I have to agree and say...my husband and I started on Suboxone 3 days ago, and we thought it would take everything away. Unfortunately, it works better for him but we are both still really down and having urges. We may not be stabilized or whatever, but I think it is a part of it whether you do c/t or with sub.

I REALLY hate that feeling that comes over you. You're right; it does feel physical. I also have some depression issues. Maybe you didn't have PTSD, but that doesn't mean you couldn't have some depression related to your past military experiences and/or your discontinued drug use. I think everyone coming off drugs goes through some form of depression while his/her brain heals.

I am incredibly inspired by you (and grateful for your loyal service to the US!) and I am really rooting for you! Stay strong! You already are strong...tap into that and pull from it!

Thinking of you and cheering in your corner!

Originally Posted by myhubbyandi

Hi Eric!

You posted on my thread, and I wanted to let you know I really appreciated it! I have been following your story for awhile.

I have to agree and say...my husband and I started on Suboxone 3 days ago, and we thought it would take everything away. Unfortunately, it works better for him but we are both still really down and having urges. We may not be stabilized or whatever, but I think it is a part of it whether you do c/t or with sub.

I REALLY hate that feeling that comes over you. You're right; it does feel physical. I also have some depression issues. Maybe you didn't have PTSD, but that doesn't mean you couldn't have some depression related to your past military experiences and/or your discontinued drug use. I think everyone coming off drugs goes through some form of depression while his/her brain heals.

I am incredibly inspired by you (and grateful for your loyal service to the US!) and I am really rooting for you! Stay strong! You already are strong...tap into that and pull from it!

Thinking of you and cheering in your corner!

Thank You so much for your support I think that is why we are all in here. It is so much easier to relate to people who are or have gone through what you are. Sure the drug use did have a big impact on my mood, temper, everything my family did notice the changes and they did suspect something. When I finally admitted my problem my wife was not as surprised as I thought she would be. If my story helps you and others just like other peoples stories helped me then all this time I spent posting matters. I am really glad I can help you and I wish you nothing but the best when it comes to your recovery.
Keep it up and keep us posted on your progress.

Sorry I was gone for so long I had a death in the family (my aunt) who was also my godmother we were very close she had terminal cancer for almost 6 months so the end was almost a relief for her. I was in Florida for the funeral. I am just happy that at that time of great grief and stress I did not turn to the pills for help, yes the temptation was there but I resisted it and won !!

IT CAN BE DONE AND WE CAN ALL RECOVER....

Best wishes to all who read this.

Eric

[Brian G]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

Sorry I was gone for so long I had a death in the family (my aunt) who was also my godmother we were very close she had terminal cancer for almost 6 months so the end was almost a relief for her. I was in Florida for the funeral. I am just happy that at that time of great grief and stress I did not turn to the pills for help, yes the temptation was there but I resisted it and won !!

IT CAN BE DONE AND WE CAN ALL RECOVER....

Best wishes to all who read this.

Eric

Sorry to hear about your loss may god be with your family in these rough times.
And congratulations on not turning to the pills for help . your a awesome dude take care man god bless you guys


B.G

Thank You Brian I appreciate it.

How are you coming along I see the optomism in your posts, isnt it great to be free of the pills like a new world out there.

Stay Strong and Clean !

I am still here...I hope everyone had a great 4th of July drug free...I know i did and it was great !
I offer my best wishes to all in here that are in recovery...

Eric

[Brian G]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

Thank You Brian I appreciate it.

How are you coming along I see the optomism in your posts, isnt it great to be free of the pills like a new world out there.

Stay Strong and Clean !

Man I'm coming along great better than i ever expected !
How are you eric ? the 4th was great this year couldn't ask for a better day .
how was your 4th ?
well got to run man take care of your self general <--- lol
god bless man

Brian G

Originally Posted by Brian G

Man I'm coming along great better than i ever expected !
How are you eric ? the 4th was great this year couldn't ask for a better day .
how was your 4th ?
well got to run man take care of your self general <--- lol
god bless man

Brian G

Brian,

It is amazing how well you have come through all this I am so happy for you. I had a great time on the 4th spent it with family and friends...BBQ, Beer, Fireworks the whole nine yards.
Keep it up and keep us posted.

Here's a toast to being drug free.

Eric

I am back from a wonderful week long vacation at New Brighton Beach (Capitola California). It was great experiencing the beach, camping, Santa Cruz and all the great things the N California coast has to offer without the cloud of vicodin hanging over me.
I hope this inspires others to get free of the pills too !!

Best Wishes to all in recovery !!

[BeavisMom62]

I'm so glad that you are doing so well in your recovery and that you had a wonderful vacation! Good for you. Here's to ya!!!

[Brian G]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

I am back from a wonderful week long vacation at New Brighton Beach (Capitola California). It was great experiencing the beach, camping, Santa Cruz and all the great things the N California coast has to offer without the cloud of vicodin hanging over me.
I hope this inspires others to get free of the pills too !!

Best Wishes to all in recovery !!

Hay man glad to hear you had yourself a blast and did it painkiller free. SWEET
Well just wanted to pop in and see what you was up to and how you are ?
man Ive been hitting a lot of beaches lately we did kent lake this past weekend had a blast but now i think i got swimmers itch Boooo . but yah man stay strong peace.

BG

[Freedom4me]

Eric,
So happy to hear you are doing well. Take care.
Jenny

Hiya Brian and Jenny,

Yep the vacation was great lots of fun, sun, beaches and yes even a little hair of the dog. It was nice and relaxing and best of all the pills were not in the mix. How are both of you coming along hopefully you are clean and happy.

Keep us posted on your progress...

Eric

[peanut30]

Read your entire thread last night. WOW! I didn't want to post last night because I was too tired but you are a true survival story. Your story is so real and man you need to write a book! You kept coming back and not letting a silly relapse get in the way of all you worked for. I am thoroughly impressed by your tenacity and you willingness to share this with us. Thank you. Keep up the good work and keep posting on what's going on with you. I'm going to check in on you!

Thanks for serving our country. You are an American Hero! We love you and all our soldiers fighting this war for our country. Can't belive how many good soldiers we lost last month alone! My prayers go out to you Eric and all you comrads.

Originally Posted by peanut30

Read your entire thread last night. WOW! I didn't want to post last night because I was too tired but you are a true survival story. Your story is so real and man you need to write a book! You kept coming back and not letting a silly relapse get in the way of all you worked for. I am thoroughly impressed by your tenacity and you willingness to share this with us. Thank you. Keep up the good work and keep posting on what's going on with you. I'm going to check in on you!

Thanks for serving our country. You are an American Hero! We love you and all our soldiers fighting this war for our country. Can't belive how many good soldiers we lost last month alone! My prayers go out to you Eric and all you comrads.

Thank You for the kind words, I know I said it before in my posts but I truly feel this way...it was my privilage to serve and despite the hardships of military life I would do it all over again if I had the chance. I hate to use the term once and addict always an addict but I know now that I at least for a number of years in the future be at risk for relapse, the urges are still there every now and then I can feel it. My tolerance is there and if I used again it would not be long before I am back to the large quantities again so I must be careful in the future.
I just hope that my story along with all the others in here can serve to help someone else who is in the same situation this is my chance to pay back for all the support I got in here during the darkest times in my life.
Yes, it is tragic that my fellow soldiers/airmen have given all in Iraq, I personally lost a freind of mine who was in my unit to a roadside bomb near Basra it is tragic and a reminder that war really is hell. All we can do is remember them and honor their sacrifice for this nation.

I didnt have a chance to read your thread if you have one, how are you doing are you in recovery, I am interested in your story as well....Keep me posted.

Eric

Robert,

I read from your posts that Melinda is going into surgery...first of all I wish her well my thoughts and prayers are with you and her. I also noticed that you may be getting oxycodone for her to help with the pain during her recovery, if that is true how concerned are you that they will cause her recovery related problems. The reason I ask is I too am getting throat and sinus surgery on Tuesday and the 2 week recovery period will be very painful, my doctor will probably perscribe me percs or vics to help with the pain and I too have a concern. Do you think the need for pain relief outweighs the risk of readdiction and or w/ds ?
I am not trying to judge I just want to know your opinion on the matter since I am in the same boat and I do value your opinions on this matter.

THANKS for all you do !!

Eric

[lbtiredofit]

Thank you for sharing your story. We all are normal folk that have fallen off track. The thing that has gotten to me is that while I started taking painkillers for legit reasons, I no longer have the same pain, or any pain after a successful surgery for my elbow. I literally fake continued pain in my shoulder so I can keep getting the scrip. Last month my ortho Dr. referred me to my regular doctor saying that my condition was chronic pain and he could no longer help me. My Dr. is sending me to the chronic pain department end of Aug. so that we can try alternative ways to deal with my so-called pain. She refilled my scrip and said the chronic pain people would help me off of it while working another direction. Well, come on..... this getting ridiculous, I have no pain! I see the end is near and I just want to quit on my terms no one else's. I am wasting peoples time and money and just can't keep up the facade any longer. I stole from a friend an old bottle of vics when I ran out....(they had been in her medicine cabinet for over a year so I took them!) people I know are fighting cancer and I am out stealing drugs from friends. I am not liking myself much these days..... Time to make some serious changes. I have wanted to quit smoking for years, the Norco I take makes me want to smoke more... So I have to quit both. I am a good person, loving wife and mother with many friends. I want to put this behind me and move forward by feeling good about myself, you can't love until you love yourself and I want to love me again.
Wow, so sorry about rambling, guess I needed to get that off my chest! Life is sooo good and I just want to remember what it felt like before drugs!
Take Care and God Bless you for listening!

Originally Posted by lbtiredofit

Thank you for sharing your story. We all are normal folk that have fallen off track. The thing that has gotten to me is that while I started taking painkillers for legit reasons, I no longer have the same pain, or any pain after a successful surgery for my elbow. I literally fake continued pain in my shoulder so I can keep getting the scrip. Last month my ortho Dr. referred me to my regular doctor saying that my condition was chronic pain and he could no longer help me. My Dr. is sending me to the chronic pain department end of Aug. so that we can try alternative ways to deal with my so-called pain. She refilled my scrip and said the chronic pain people would help me off of it while working another direction. Well, come on..... this getting ridiculous, I have no pain! I see the end is near and I just want to quit on my terms no one else's. I am wasting peoples time and money and just can't keep up the facade any longer. I stole from a friend an old bottle of vics when I ran out....(they had been in her medicine cabinet for over a year so I took them!) people I know are fighting cancer and I am out stealing drugs from friends. I am not liking myself much these days..... Time to make some serious changes. I have wanted to quit smoking for years, the Norco I take makes me want to smoke more... So I have to quit both. I am a good person, loving wife and mother with many friends. I want to put this behind me and move forward by feeling good about myself, you can't love until you love yourself and I want to love me again.
Wow, so sorry about rambling, guess I needed to get that off my chest! Life is sooo good and I just want to remember what it felt like before drugs!
Take Care and God Bless you for listening!

The fact that you came in here and being so honest with yourself and us says a lot about how serious you are. I was in the same boat I know that some of my so called pain was not real and I know now that I am suseptible to that again I just have to resist. Your recovery will happen and be permenant I just know you have it within you to do it.
Those NORCOs are nasty little pills I used to love taking them the problem was they took more from me in return. Keep us posted on your recovery and YES let me know anytime you need support or help I will be here.

Eric

[iloerose]

Eric, I have read your whole thread over the months, cried through some of it as I've noticed me in some of your posts. I am beginning my own battle, my first to rid myself of this demon. You have been a great support to many people with your compassion and honesty. I'm glad your here. I have started my own thread, but I needed to say what I did, even if I don't hear from anyone else. I will still read other's threads and try to gain strength from that. Hope you are doing well and keeping your chin up. The hardest thing is to never go back to using and I admire your story.

[Brian G]

Eric, it's been some time now haven't heard to much from you ? I hope your doing great and everything is ok.
well I'm holding up strong yesterday had some stress issues but got over it thank god!
hope all is well buddy . t.t.y.l
god bless us all .


Brian G

I am back, I just completed having sinus and throat surgery. The news is good and bad...first the good news.
This surgery has been a miracle, it has completely cured my brathing problems and sleep aphnea I have not breathed so well in 15 years. Additionally I do not snore anymore, I used to snore all the time and it was loud..since the surgery not a peep !!
Now for the bad news... I am in the middle of a relapse...the problem with this surgery is the recovery period is usually about 3 weeks and it is VERY VERY Painful. I weighed the options and realized the pain was too much. My doctor gave me Percocets at first and now NORCO's and I have been using plenty of them again. My recovery is coming along and I will be out of the pills soon and you guessed it I can already feel it...I will go through w/d's when I stop using the pain meds
I just hope it will be minimal since I was not on them for long...I guess I will see soon enough. In some ways I feel like I let myself down but on the other hand the surgery was very painful and It would have been really tough to do this without the meds.
Anyway I will be quitting the pills soon and I will keep you all posted on my progress yet again, I wish you all well.

AFSGTSAM aka Eric

[Robert_325]

Eric .... Congratuations on the surgical success. But you continue to have these challenges. Next of all you DID NOT relapse. Don't fall for that nonsense.

When we have to take meds for a surgery or whatever our body doesn't know the difference. It just knows you feel good from the opiates. But your spirit knows the difference. You know whether or not you've done this for fun or if it was necessary.

Just because you took medication doesn't mean you've relapsed. Only you can honestly answer that question. Personally I don't think this sounds like a relapse. Be hard on yourself but not unreasonable. God bless.

[QUOTE=Robert_325;249444]Eric .... Congratuations on the surgical success. But you continue to have these challenges. Next of all you DID NOT relapse. Don't fall for that nonsense.

When we have to take meds for a surgery or whatever our body doesn't know the difference. It just knows you feel good from the opiates. But your spirit knows the difference. You know whether or not you've done this for fun or if it was necessary.

Just because you took medication doesn't mean you've relapsed. Only you can honestly answer that question. Personally I don't think this sounds like a relapse. Be hard on yourself but not unreasonable. God bless. [/QUOTE

You are right I know I did not do this for "recreational" reasons they were a medical necessity. You figured me out, I am hard on myself sometimes and yes I rush to judgement sometimes. I will get through this and yes I can be unreasonable sometimes when it comes to self criticism. Thanks again as always for your input and words of inspiration.
Robert, one personal thing...I have been reading some of your posts and I have come to a conclusion that you are one of the most caring people I have "known". You seem to care so much about helping people in here you are stressing and spreading yourself too thin. I would be willing to bet that your health both mental and physical are suffering because of this dedication. You need to find a balance, you already have so much on your plate and yes you are human You can only do so much for so many people. I just wanted to let you know about this observation I have made, and to show you that I am concerned, I want you to be well and not hurt yourself while trying to help others...God knows what a good person you are as do we all in here.

Thank You again for your kindness and compassion and I offer you and Melinda nothing but best wishes.
One last thing how is Melinda doing ? I hope she is recovering well.

Eric

I am in the final stages of my surgery recovery and I am going to stop taking my final pain meds soon I am sure I will experience some w/d's from this but I will keep you all posted. I am still amazed at how successful the surgery was...I can breathe a 1000 times better, I dont snore anymore and my sleep aphnea is gone. In the end it was all worth it but I am not looking forward to the w/d's.

Eric

I took the last of my NORCO's yesterday for pain from my surgery. I am already starting to feel w/d symptoms. I know now that I did need the pain meds for my recovery from surgery but I just know this is going to get worse before it gets better. I just hope that since I have only been using the NORCOs for a month it will not be too long or bad...I shall see.

Thanks for all your support

AFSGTSAM aka Eric

[melinda7.5]

Hi Eric
I bet it wont be as bad this time, at least I'm hoping so....
well get thru this...and for both of us it was not are fault this time...
hang in there
Talk to you soon, Melinda

Melinda,

I realize that now it is not our fault this time we really did need the meds..not for a high, not for kicks but for real pain issues from our surgery and yes WE will get to the end of it quickly I just know it.

I wish you well in your recovery...hang in there (Robert Too !!)

Eric

I am at day 2 from quitting cold turkey after my surgery and it is hell on Earth. I have muscle spasms, sweats, and diahreah. I was hopeful that this time it would be minimal but it does not look like it will be from this point. I am still coming in for half days at work, taking lots of hot baths and showers and using flexril and tylenol PM not that they are helping that much. I would love to get a good nights sleep at this point. When will this agony end ?

Trying to stay strong,

AFGSTSAM

[iloerose]

Eric: I'm so sorry that you have to go through this again, but you have so much courage to do this! I admire how you hang in there, knowing about the w/d. I'm not so sure I could do it again. But you know that it DOES END and it will end. Stay strong and go hard, as Kiwi says.

Peace,

IloeRose

It is tough going through this again it has been horrible the last two days. I know it will end soon I just cannot wait to start feeling better. I thought I could make it through work in this condition but I quickly realized I can't so I am taking leave on Friday.

Thanks for the encouragement !

Eric