[In_Good_Health]

I know this is an old story, but truly inspiring. You are a strong person for acknowledging this problem, and taking quick action to do so. I hope all is well.

Originally Posted by In_Good_Health

I know this is an old story, but truly inspiring. You are a strong person for acknowledging this problem, and taking quick action to do so. I hope all is well.

Thank You for the kind words, it was not hard getting into abusing vicodin but yes with my type of personality it took a lot to admit it. My original addiction (the worst of it) was 6 months ago although it feels like a lifetime. I am just now recovering from a relapse. The good news is I am very optomistic and kind words from people like you made this whole horrible process seem much easier.

Thank You !

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

Thank You for the kind words, it was not hard getting into abusing vicodin but yes with my type of personality it took a lot to admit it. My original addiction (the worst of it) was 6 months ago although it feels like a lifetime. I am just now recovering from a relapse. The good news is I am very optomistic and kind words from people like you made this whole horrible process seem much easier.

Thank You !

Been watching your progress again. Hey man it happens, we relapse, just learn from it. You're doing well again just hang in there. You know the drill. I just wanted to give you some encouragement. God bless.

[anotheraddict]

Hey Sam,

You are doing wonderful! Anyone who serves our country is much stronger than I am. Maybe think of this as another mission....one that is almost over. Then you can return to normal life

I am definitely following along and praying as well as cheering you on! I have no doubt that you can do this again. I am just glad that you recognized it before you were too far gone

I hope you have a great day

Jean

Anotheraddict,

Thank You so much yes this is a mission a long term one to stay off the vicodin. I made it through the worst again. How are you holding up ? We both went through a personal hell and I want you to make long term as well.

Keep me posted and thank you again for the kind words.

[anotheraddict]

Hey Sam,

I am doing great here. I have had my rough patches, but survived. I don't ever want to be where I was before. Don't worry about me, I will hit this board if the urges get too strong. It's the best place I have found anywhere Thank you for checking on me. I am in this for the long haul.

We will both make it. I am positive of that

Jean

[dRock22]

I just joined and am on Day 3 vicodin free--just wanted to offer you my support. I have gone through a detox only to fall back in to the pattern of using again and it's really a setback. I am like you in that I am an ex athlete and businessman with alot of discipline and work ethic who thought addiction was just for the weak, but as you said, no one is immune.

Anyone with access to a bottomless bottle of Vicodin is going to go back for more. My relapse came with a new source of pills, so I had to tell my doc not to prescribe them for me ever again.

[anotheraddict]

Sam,

Hope you are still doing well! I am with you on this

I am still hanging in there. The Physical stuff is long gone but I still get those occasional mental urges. The VA made it so easy for me to get all I wanted that I am tempted to go back and ask for more...BUT I WONT !!

DRock22 I hope my problems helped you in some small way....I still think back to last year and wonder how that could have been me. How is your relapse recovery coming along hopefully you are throught the worst of it.

Thank You Anotheraddict for your words of encouragment it is appreciated more than you know.

Best wishes in recovery to all !!

[Robert_325]

You know the drill how to do this. Just don't allow yourself to relapse this time.

I could walk into any pain dr's office in the state and they would RX me as many vics or percs as I asked for with my illness/injury history. But if I do that I'll end up on the other end of these posts. That's how I became addicted to the RX meds to start with.

Can't blame the dr, we are the ones making the choice to do the pills. Got to have some will power and a little God power. HE will do for us what we can't do for ourselves but we still have to NOT call the dr for more pills. That's a given. HE expects that much from us at least.

You'll do it this time I bet. I think you're frustrated enough with yourself by now that you'll make it. It took me a bunch of times before I was successful getting clean longterm. God bless.

[anotheraddict]

Sam,

It's been a couple of weeks since we heard from you. Would you mind checking in with us so we know you're still hanging in there please? If you're not still hanging in there, check in anyway so we can get you back on the wagon. I don't want to lose my detox buddy. I don't care that we had to do it an extra time, or if we have to do it 20 extra times...well I care if we do, but you know what I mean. You are always gonna be my detox buddy, okay? I hate to break it to you, but I am not going to go away.

Jean

[jotterman]

I wonder how long you have been and/or are addicted to the pills, as well as how long you have been taking them altogether. Reason being is that my girlfriend of 4 years has been addicted to vicodin for 8 years. Everything you described about the moods swings, how daily and weekly activities will revolve around getting them or the cycle in which they take them, all the way down to not being able to function without them.
One thing all amateur vicodin users should know... After prolonged use of vicodin, the tolerance level has been set, thus establishing a default level that your body tells you that you need in order to feel normal, real, or balanced.
It is not anymore considered "high", but rather "normal". The effects will induce and enhance a false sense of confidence; making it much easier to respond to people and/or high stress situations without any worries. It is nothing more than a crutch that numbs the reality of real life ********. This is the original beauty of the beast. It seems harmless, care-free, and innocent at first. However the body produces such a violent withdrawal from everyday use that the withdrawals only begin with physical symptoms. The psychological withdrawals are much much worse.
It takes an extremely motivated (or defeated) person to realize that the pain inflicted by the withdrawal of vicodin is actually worth going through in order to conquer the addiction.
My girl has yet to succeed, though she knows beyond a doubt that she has a problem. The main road block in her quitting, however, is that she knows how hard it will be, how much it will hurt, and she knows what she is capable of withstanding. She cannot overcome the mental addiction. If the person has not made the decision for them self to quit, and/or has not yet come to terms with the decision to quit within them self; then they have already relapsed before they have ever started.
One question!
How must one actually expect to succeed in breaking the addiction on their own without the proper treatment and support system? Is it possible? Or is professional treatment the only possible solution??
Is there anyone out there with prolonged use that set up a personal system or special method to deal with conquering the addiction on their own? Whether you succeeded or not, what has worked and what has not?

And has anyone out there with years of this same addiction overcome all the obstacles that originally stood in the way of this freedom?

Originally Posted by anotheraddict

Sam,

It's been a couple of weeks since we heard from you. Would you mind checking in with us so we know you're still hanging in there please? If you're not still hanging in there, check in anyway so we can get you back on the wagon. I don't want to lose my detox buddy. I don't care that we had to do it an extra time, or if we have to do it 20 extra times...well I care if we do, but you know what I mean. You are always gonna be my detox buddy, okay? I hate to break it to you, but I am not going to go away.

Jean

Sorry I dropped off the "RADAR" for a few weeks......the good news is NO I DID NOT RELAPSE AGAIN !! I have just been very busy with family and work. My son is graduating from HS next week and we are making plans for family to come in from the East Coast plus I am working towards a big promotion at work so I am taking on a little more workload. I will make sure I stick around in here I owe you all so much for the help with my recovery it is time to pay it back. After finishing w/ds from my relapse I was fine for a long time. Now that it is about 6-7 weeks later the last few days I have been getting some cravings that seem like physical symptoms. I know it is all in my head but it feels real.....I WILL NOT GIVE IN THIS TIME.....I will stay off the pills !!!
I am glad you wont go away neither will I.....let me know how you have been ....

Your friend in recovery.....!

Originally Posted by jotterman

I wonder how long you have been and/or are addicted to the pills, as well as how long you have been taking them altogether. Reason being is that my girlfriend of 4 years has been addicted to vicodin for 8 years. Everything you described about the moods swings, how daily and weekly activities will revolve around getting them or the cycle in which they take them, all the way down to not being able to function without them.
One thing all amateur vicodin users should know... After prolonged use of vicodin, the tolerance level has been set, thus establishing a default level that your body tells you that you need in order to feel normal, real, or balanced.
It is not anymore considered "high", but rather "normal". The effects will induce and enhance a false sense of confidence; making it much easier to respond to people and/or high stress situations without any worries. It is nothing more than a crutch that numbs the reality of real life ********. This is the original beauty of the beast. It seems harmless, care-free, and innocent at first. However the body produces such a violent withdrawal from everyday use that the withdrawals only begin with physical symptoms. The psychological withdrawals are much much worse.
It takes an extremely motivated (or defeated) person to realize that the pain inflicted by the withdrawal of vicodin is actually worth going through in order to conquer the addiction.
My girl has yet to succeed, though she knows beyond a doubt that she has a problem. The main road block in her quitting, however, is that she knows how hard it will be, how much it will hurt, and she knows what she is capable of withstanding. She cannot overcome the mental addiction. If the person has not made the decision for them self to quit, and/or has not yet come to terms with the decision to quit within them self; then they have already relapsed before they have ever started.
One question!
How must one actually expect to succeed in breaking the addiction on their own without the proper treatment and support system? Is it possible? Or is professional treatment the only possible solution??
Is there anyone out there with prolonged use that set up a personal system or special method to deal with conquering the addiction on their own? Whether you succeeded or not, what has worked and what has not?

And has anyone out there with years of this same addiction overcome all the obstacles that originally stood in the way of this freedom?

There is no easy way to get clean that is what I have and am learning as the months go by. I was not addicted as long as your g/f is...the first time about a year but I was using vics heavily around 12-15 a day or more. I managed to get clean after a relapse without professional help other than the support of my family and the good people in here. I think it depends on her...how determined she is, her strength and willingness. If you read many of the threads in here they have many suggestions and techniques..Robert is a big help and may have some tips including the Thomas Recipe.
Please keep in touch with me and let me know what the two of you decide...the fact that she has your support is a huge plus !!

Best wishes in her recovery !!

[Freedom4me]

SGTSAM,
Glad to hear you are still doing well. It takes alot of work and the cravings will keep coming but if you can put them off like you have been doing they go away. Glad to see you back. Keep posting when you get a chance.

[anotheraddict]

Sam,

Oh, I am so glad to hear from you! Great that things are going so well in your world Congratulations on your son's graduation. I know that's always a very proud moment for a parent. And congratulations on the promotion! That's wonderful news!

Really, you don't owe anything. I was only a little concerned since I thought you might still be in a vulnerable spot. Hearing the resolve in your posts from today is just great! I have a feeling that you are done, I mean really done, with the pills. While we will have to be vigilant, we have won. We beat the demon that tried to destroy our lives.

Things are actually looking up for me as well. I have a full time job working overnight that I started. I also landed a job that may turn into full time during the daytime. A lot of work, I know, but I thrive on that. The boredom led to, or at least helped in, my addiction. I am making close to the same amount of money I was before all of this happened and with no stress like I had at my old job. My life is coming back together. All I want to do now is work to get my credit back in order so that I can move on with my life. And I am doing that. I could not be happier.

Thank you for letting me know that you are still with me. With my Battle Buddy by my side I know that I can make it through this thing, and it will NEVER suck me back in. Because I am not just relying on myself. I have help. I understand when you get busy, as long as you stop in to say hi every once in a while, it's all good, ok?

Keep moving along! I am proud of you

Jean

[Freedom4me]

Jean,
I just love your attitude. When I get a little "tingle for the jingle" (vicodin) I read some of your posts. My weakness gets to me usually at night when my back starts to throb so I will come here and read a little bit. Believe it or not I started using the techniques they teach you for labor.... focal points, breathing, etc. Have gotten alot of relief from that and I didn't even have to raise a kid!! Had all 3 of my kids with no drugs and no epidural and that was a snap compared to the first month of re-learning how to live. But I made it and I love it! Any way, keep up with your sense of humor, I love it!!

Originally Posted by anotheraddict

Sam,

Oh, I am so glad to hear from you! Great that things are going so well in your world Congratulations on your son's graduation. I know that's always a very proud moment for a parent. And congratulations on the promotion! That's wonderful news!

Really, you don't owe anything. I was only a little concerned since I thought you might still be in a vulnerable spot. Hearing the resolve in your posts from today is just great! I have a feeling that you are done, I mean really done, with the pills. While we will have to be vigilant, we have won. We beat the demon that tried to destroy our lives.

Things are actually looking up for me as well. I have a full time job working overnight that I started. I also landed a job that may turn into full time during the daytime. A lot of work, I know, but I thrive on that. The boredom led to, or at least helped in, my addiction. I am making close to the same amount of money I was before all of this happened and with no stress like I had at my old job. My life is coming back together. All I want to do now is work to get my credit back in order so that I can move on with my life. And I am doing that. I could not be happier.

Thank you for letting me know that you are still with me. With my Battle Buddy by my side I know that I can make it through this thing, and it will NEVER suck me back in. Because I am not just relying on myself. I have help. I understand when you get busy, as long as you stop in to say hi every once in a while, it's all good, ok?

Keep moving along! I am proud of you

Jean

I too am so happy to see you are doing well. It is true when you are bored you have time to think about and focus on the pills and that is when you rationalize your way back into the lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with working hard it is ashame many more Americans do not share your work ethic and independence. It is really cool you were able to land the new job in this current economy it says even more about your character. I still cannot believe my son is graduating High School I am getting too old. He is a fantastic kid and a great student he got accepted to California State University Sacramento in the fall and is majoring in biology (he wants to be a doctor or pharmacist). My daughter is in HS now and is 3 years behind her brother. I really do feel like I beat this deamon the urges have gone away now and I WILL NOT GO BACK AGAIN !! This roller coaster must stop.
I will continue to stop in here I want to try to help others escape this prison.

Jean what can I say you are doing great !!

Here is my name.......
Yours in recovery .... Eric !

[anotheraddict]

Eric,

It's so wonderful to be able to call you by your real name Your kids sound like they are turning out to be amazing people! It makes me so happy to know that you are really confident that you have beat this thing. I still doubt myself sometimes, but I take it one day at a time.

Your story will continue to inspire many as they embark or continue on the journey to being clean and sober. I am very glad that you decided to share your story, even when you probably didn't want to come back.

Keep up the great work, ok? You are doing wonderfully!

Jean

Originally Posted by anotheraddict

Eric,

It's so wonderful to be able to call you by your real name Your kids sound like they are turning out to be amazing people! It makes me so happy to know that you are really confident that you have beat this thing. I still doubt myself sometimes, but I take it one day at a time.

Your story will continue to inspire many as they embark or continue on the journey to being clean and sober. I am very glad that you decided to share your story, even when you probably didn't want to come back.

Keep up the great work, ok? You are doing wonderfully!

Jean

I am back from vacation now for the past week we had family visiting from back east and my sons graduation was last thursday.
I am confident for you, we are both going to make it, I beleieve that now more than ever. While the physical symptoms are gone I still get a little bit of a tingly feeling every now and then, it is hard to describe. I still "feel the urge" ocassionally. Do you get the same feelings, or is it diffrent for you ?
And I too thank you for sharing your story and for the support you give me....I look forward to your response.
Eric

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

I am back from vacation now for the past week we had family visiting from back east and my sons graduation was last thursday.
I am confident for you, we are both going to make it, I beleieve that now more than ever. While the physical symptoms are gone I still get a little bit of a tingly feeling every now and then, it is hard to describe. I still "feel the urge" ocassionally. Do you get the same feelings, or is it diffrent for you ?
And I too thank you for sharing your story and for the support you give me....I look forward to your response.
Eric

Eric ... I had that "tingly" feeling, or the "urge" for YEARS! We've talked about this several times before. It's just like you've probably heard it said before " .... that's why they call it dope!" I'm not trying to be cute here, I couldn't be more serious. I don't want to see you fall after just making this comeback.

Have you ever checked out getting into recovery? I know we've discussed it, but as guys (who have things together) we want to feel like we've finally got this under control, that everything will be okay, that we really don't need to get into all the meetings and what not.

Maybe it's just me, but I ultimately failed every single time at staying clean until I finally started working on fixing me and not just stopping the drugs. Using the pills is just a symptom of our real problem, that is where working on ourselves helps us. That is what recovery is all about.

It's like I mentioned when we've talked before, it doesn't matter if it's NA, AA, Celebrate Recovery, church, a combination or all the above, as long as it works for you that is all that matters. I honestly believe that if you would humble yourself and start working a program of recovery you would benefit big time. Hang in there buddy. God bless.

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Eric ... I had that "tingly" feeling, or the "urge" for YEARS! We've talked about this several times before. It's just like you've probably heard it said before " .... that's why they call it dope!" I'm not trying to be cute here, I couldn't be more serious. I don't want to see you fall after just making this comeback.

Have you ever checked out getting into recovery? I know we've discussed it, but as guys (who have things together) we want to feel like we've finally got this under control, that everything will be okay, that we really don't need to get into all the meetings and what not.

Maybe it's just me, but I ultimately failed every single time at staying clean until I finally started working on fixing me and not just stopping the drugs. Using the pills is just a symptom of our real problem, that is where working on ourselves helps us. That is what recovery is all about.

It's like I mentioned when we've talked before, it doesn't matter if it's NA, AA, Celebrate Recovery, church, a combination or all the above, as long as it works for you that is all that matters. I honestly believe that if you would humble yourself and start working a program of recovery you would benefit big time. Hang in there buddy. God bless.

Thanks Robert I know you care and just want the best for all of us in here.
The VA has a support group and it focuses on veterans issues along with addressing my drug problem I am considering joining up. Like you said although life seems good for me now that the drugs are somewhat behind me (my family, work, etc..) seem to be doing well i do not want to endanger that again. My wife thinks that I may have some issues with my military service in Iraq (I had a friend of mine in my unit killed in action over there back in 2005). The VA did do PTSD and psych screening on me and found no issues but I guess joining a forum to discuss my pill problems and possibly military related issues cannot hurt.

Thanks for the advice I am very inclined to follow it....

Thanks for all you do for us...your are a true blessing.

Eric

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

Thanks Robert I know you care and just want the best for all of us in here.
The VA has a support group and it focuses on veterans issues along with addressing my drug problem I am considering joining up. Like you said although life seems good for me now that the drugs are somewhat behind me (my family, work, etc..) seem to be doing well i do not want to endanger that again. My wife thinks that I may have some issues with my military service in Iraq (I had a friend of mine in my unit killed in action over there back in 2005). The VA did do PTSD and psych screening on me and found no issues but I guess joining a forum to discuss my pill problems and possibly military related issues cannot hurt.

Thanks for the advice I am very inclined to follow it....

Thanks for all you do for us...your are a true blessing.

Eric

Hey Eric ... that sounds like a GREAT idea. I couldn't possibly agree more with your wife.

I think that you need to cut yourself some slack. You guys went through hell over there and they're still doing it today. I have nothing but respect for all of you and for everything that you've gone through for all of us. So allow our taxpayer money to go for something that's worthwhile like helping guys like you who made sacrifices for all of us. That is what your military benefits are for, you're entitled to at least that much and more.

I'm really curious to know what kind of support groups the VA has available for vets. Let me know how it goes if you would. We have vets show up here all the time, I'm even working with some active military right now. I would like to be able to share with them what programs are actually available for them.

The other vets and the active personnel I talk to all say the same as you, that military drs give them bottle after bottle of pills and never ask any questions. I hate that the government compromises our military with unlimited scripts of meds that cause problems. Stay in touch. God bless.

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Hey Eric ... that sounds like a GREAT idea. I couldn't possibly agree more with your wife.

I think that you need to cut yourself some slack. You guys went through hell over there and they're still doing it today. I have nothing but respect for all of you and for everything that you've gone through for all of us. So allow our taxpayer money to go for something that's worthwhile like helping guys like you who made sacrifices for all of us. That is what your military benefits are for, you're entitled to at least that much and more.

I'm really curious to know what kind of support groups the VA has available for vets. Let me know how it goes if you would. We have vets show up here all the time, I'm even working with some active military right now. I would like to be able to share with them what programs are actually available for them.

The other vets and the active personnel I talk to all say the same as you, that military drs give them bottle after bottle of pills and never ask any questions. I hate that the government compromises our military with unlimited scripts of meds that cause problems. Stay in touch. God bless.

I will let you know for sure. My attitude is if my story helps someone else then posting in here has been worthwhile. Anything I can do the help my fellow vets is even more worthwhile. Robert, you should be rpoud of yourself for getting clean I would imagine most people who are addicted for as long as you where end up medically disabled or even dead. Dedicating yourself to helping others is a great calling and you do make a difference.

Thanks you and God Bless...

Eric

It is so strange that I am still getting some of those post addicition tingles and urges...it is probably psyhological but they feel real. There is ZERO chance I will give in I am done with that road.
Just curious if anyone else is getting such strong late urges after quitting.

Just hanging in there and moving on !!

Eric

[Freedom4me]

Eric,
I get them some times. It usually happens when I am doing something that I normally would associate taking my pills with. I used love to clean my house and do laundry on vicodin because my back didn't hurt and I had a ton of energy. I just fight through it. It seems like the urges "peaked" for me at about 2 months clean. I think up unitl that point the withdrawal nightmare was fresher in my mind. I get them less now. Stay strong. Talking about it here really helped me.

[anotheraddict]

Eric,

It's great to hear that you are still around! I do still struggle with the urges, sometimes even on a daily basis. I think about how much easier it would be to do this or that if I just had some pills. I have to constantly remind myself that it's all a lie. The pills don't help me do anything. They made me lazier than ever before, and I didn't care about anything.

I am just over two months clean, and I agree with freedom. Right now, my cravings are worse than they ever have been before. I have to remind myself of the hell that I went through to get here. I never want to be there again, and that's the only thing keeping me clean. I hate to admit it, but it's the truth. If I could use and stop without having to detox....I wouldn't be clean I can almost guarantee that.

I make sure that I don't have any meds available, and also I make sure that I have no way to get them. Then I can't act on the cravings. For me, that's the only thing working right now. I wish I could say that I was stronger than that, but I have to admit that I am not. I still want the pills.

Jean

[melinda7.5]

Hi Everybody
I will be clean a year in August but those thoughts still pop into my mind when I'm having a hard day, and I have to much work to do...
I think I could just take a couple of vic's... WRONG
And that is just what I tell myself...and just push thru it...
If i took those vic's I would be tired the next day also and you know what that would mean...OH just one more day would be fine ...

So if I need to I just take it one day at a time...
hang tough everyone...
Talk to you later, Melinda

Jean and Melinda I have the exact same thoughts. It is really strange because for weeks I was fine and now in the last few days it started up again almost like a very mild w/d series. I know it is in my head, I know my body detoxed already but it is there and it feels real. I realize my mind wants more pills but I cannot and will not go back through this process again I have to fight it off. Jean you are at 2 months and melinda is more than a year and the same thing continues to happen. I guess I reallly have to resove to myself that this is going to be a very long term battle perhaps my whole life.

Thanks again for all your support and kind words.

Get and Stay clean for life !!!

[BeavisMom62]

Hi, Eric. I just finished reading your thread and I am impressed. First of all thanks for your service to our country. I didn't serve as long as you, but I was a medic in the army from '82 to '85. I too have chronic pain from an abusive ex-husband and a severe car accident. My husband and I are addicted to percocet. Ive taken Lortab off and on for years with no problem. But my husband is much more addicted than I, so when he needs some, I take them too. He started with oxy's, which were much worse and I liked them too. Thankfully we don't take those anymore but now take percs (as if it is really better, Not!) And now, I have been addicted for the past year and am looking for a way out. I don't think my husband is as interested in quitting as I am and this is going to be hard. I am weak as far as he goes. He is unemployed and I am the bread winner. So it is my money that pays for the drugs. I should just say "no" right? But in addition to being too weak to say no, I know that if I say yes, then I get some percs too. I am going to start my own thread here later, to ask for advice in how to taper. I need to do this. But congratulations on your recovery and all your hard work. You are an inspiration to us all. Thank you.