[Sue13]

I've seen your posts and feel your pain. I now have no illusion (after about a dozen 3-day c/t attempts) that your resistance builds right back up withing a day or two.

I saw you on the "Welcome to my relapse" thread and we seem to have a little group over there; glad you are with us.

Again, the martial arts proverb: "Fall down seven tiimes and get up eight." (and hopefully learn from each experience!

Hugs, Sue Day 12

Originally Posted by Sue13

I've seen your posts and feel your pain. I now have no illusion (after about a dozen 3-day c/t attempts) that your resistance builds right back up withing a day or two.

I saw you on the "Welcome to my relapse" thread and we seem to have a little group over there; glad you are with us.

Again, the martial arts proverb: "Fall down seven tiimes and get up eight." (and hopefully learn from each experience!

Hugs, Sue Day 12

Thank You Sue !

The only good thing about this relapse is the w/ds did not last too long it is now 6 days later and I feel fine. I do not ever want to go through that again I am firm now goodbye to Vicodin forever !!
I did fall down and I got back up. Thank you for your encouraging words and I hope you are doing well too.

Thanks !

[money_chick]

Glad to see you doing well... I'm just a few days behind you, so in another three days I should be fine too.

I talked with my VA Doctor yesterday and he prescribed me a muscle relaxer that helps a lot with my feet and knee problems and even lowers the pain level without the addictive properties that opiates have. I tried it last night and it worked real well but did make me drowsy but I do not feel any urges to use it again only when truly needed.
I just pray this episode in my life is behind me and I can go on.....

Thank You all for your support and comments you helped a lot !!!

I think my relapse episode is behind me, I no longer have a "source" of the pills I abused and I feel much better about myself for it...no more lies....no more crutches. I know I am done with this roller coaster ride for good.
I just hope that anyone who reads my story gets help from it. If my experiences helps anyone else than all this time I spent posting in here was even more worth it.

Here is to staying clean !!

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

I talked with my VA Doctor yesterday and he prescribed me a muscle relaxer that helps a lot with my feet and knee problems and even lowers the pain level without the addictive properties that opiates have. I tried it last night and it worked real well but did make me drowsy but I do not feel any urges to use it again only when truly needed.
I just pray this episode in my life is behind me and I can go on.....

Thank You all for your support and comments you helped a lot !!!

Hey AFSGTSAM
I just have to ask what your doctor gave you for a muscle relaxer...
I just don't want him to sneak something in there that would hurt you...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hey AFSGTSAM
I just have to ask what your doctor gave you for a muscle relaxer...
I just don't want him to sneak something in there that would hurt you...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

Hey Melinda...the Dr Prescribed Chlorzoxazone I read about it. It is a very very strong muscle relaxer and it works. I get bouts of very severe pain and this stuff helps a lot and does not seem to have the same addictive properties that the opiates had. A few days ago I had some severe muscle pain and stiffness in my left foot and used this drug. I only needed it for 2 days then the episode passed. Now several days after I have no addictive needs or urges to use it again unlike if I had taken opiate painkillers. It seems to work for me well but if you have some additional comments or insight into this drug by all means let me know.
Thanks for your kind and caring comments I look forward to your reply.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

Hey Melinda...the Dr Prescribed Chlorzoxazone I read about it. It is a very very strong muscle relaxer and it works. I get bouts of very severe pain and this stuff helps a lot and does not seem to have the same addictive properties that the opiates had. A few days ago I had some severe muscle pain and stiffness in my left foot and used this drug. I only needed it for 2 days then the episode passed. Now several days after I have no addictive needs or urges to use it again unlike if I had taken opiate painkillers. It seems to work for me well but if you have some additional comments or insight into this drug by all means let me know.
Thanks for your kind and caring comments I look forward to your reply.

Hi AFSGTSAM
Thanks for letting me know...
I may have to try that one. I have fibromyalgia and have joint and muscle pain all the time,I know the chlorzoxazone is for short term use,but It would be great if I just had a few pain free days.LOL
I will have to ask my fibro doc when I go back next time...
Thanks again and I'm glad your doing so well
Talk to you later
Melinda

Melinda,

Did you get the muscle relaxer perscribed, it really does seem to help and I do not feel any addictive effects from it. I hope you can find some relief from it if you do take that route.
Everything else seems to be fine I am just taking it day by day.
I hope this reply finds you well...let me know the latest.
AFSGTSAM

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

Melinda,

Did you get the muscle relaxer perscribed, it really does seem to help and I do not feel any addictive effects from it. I hope you can find some relief from it if you do take that route.
Everything else seems to be fine I am just taking it day by day.
I hope this reply finds you well...let me know the latest.
AFSGTSAM

Hi AFSTSAM
Good to hear from you...
I go to the doctor once a month so I wont go for a few week's yet, but Im sure going to ask him when I do go.
Talk to you soon, Melinda

I am soooo angry with myself after doing a great job getting off more than a year of serious vicodin abuse and staying clean for months I find myself almost back where I started. I just can not believe it, I thought I was strong, I thought I was the one exception to the rule and I would make it the first time around. I am just amazed at the power these damn pill have over me. It started about a month ago when I had a series of terrible pain flare ups from my military injuries. The pain was horrible for days and days and the usual lightweight stuff did not even make a dent in it. So of course like the recovering idiot addict I am I went back to my Dr. with the VA and asked for the good stuff and of course he gave me plenty of vicodin 10/325s....120 count bottle with 10 refills. I do not even need to elaborate as to what happened next...the pain pills worked wonders and of course it did not take me long before I was taking 1...then 2....then 3 and so on every few hours. Now here I am trying to formulate a way to get off these things again. Anyway enough whining to you all.

Thanks for listening to my story...

Yet another statistic for the book.

[melinda7.5]

Hey my friend !!!
I would like to say nice to have you back...but I wish it was on different terms...
well are you out of pills??? are you going cold turkey or you going to do a taper.
you did this before you can do it again...
It just sucks tho ...
so tell us what the plan is
talk to you soon,Melinda

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

I am soooo angry with myself after doing a great job getting off more than a year of serious vicodin abuse and staying clean for months I find myself almost back where I started. I just can not believe it, I thought I was strong, I thought I was the one exception to the rule and I would make it the first time around. I am just amazed at the power these damn pill have over me. It started about a month ago when I had a series of terrible pain flare ups from my military injuries. The pain was horrible for days and days and the usual lightweight stuff did not even make a dent in it. So of course like the recovering idiot addict I am I went back to my Dr. with the VA and asked for the good stuff and of course he gave me plenty of vicodin 10/325s....120 count bottle with 10 refills. I do not even need to elaborate as to what happened next...the pain pills worked wonders and of course it did not take me long before I was taking 1...then 2....then 3 and so on every few hours. Now here I am trying to formulate a way to get off these things again. Anyway enough whining to you all.

Thanks for listening to my story...

Yet another statistic for the book.

We all thought we were the exception to the rule! I'm sorry, I know it isn't funny. It's just that we've all been there and now you have too.

Pick yourself up and get back in the race. I HOPE YOU'VE CANCELLED THE RX REFILLS AT THE VA PHARMACY. That is a great big reservation if you haven't. Reservations are a relapse waiting to happen. Give yourself a real chance and do it if you haven't.

You might want to consider trying some meetings, church, some things that are bigger than yourself. Don't feel like a failure needing a meeting or support of some kind. We almost all have to depend on others like ourselves for help. I will include you in my prayers. Good luck and God bless.

[anotheraddict]

Hello,

I know that we have not talked before, but I have read your story from the very beginning. I just wanted to let you know that I am rooting for you as well You CAN do this! Please keep us posted, and if there's anything I can do just let me know. I am more than happy to help someone in need...and the military thing always gets me, too My dad is retired career AF.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by anotheraddict

Hello,

I know that we have not talked before, but I have read your story from the very beginning. I just wanted to let you know that I am rooting for you as well You CAN do this! Please keep us posted, and if there's anything I can do just let me know. I am more than happy to help someone in need...and the military thing always gets me, too My dad is retired career AF.

Hi anotheraddict
I wanted to tell you..I think your doing a great job helping other people..
there is nothing better than getting clean and then pulling others up with you.
I'm really happy for you...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[anotheraddict]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi anotheraddict
I wanted to tell you..I think your doing a great job helping other people..
there is nothing better than getting clean and then pulling others up with you.
I'm really happy for you...
Talk to you later, Melinda

Melinda,

Thank you! Everyone on this board helped me so much, and this is the only way I can really give back. I want to give others hope and a second chance like I was given. I never want to forget how easily I can return to that life...

This story was one of the first I read from the very beginning. I guess it's kind of my turn...this thread helped me realize I needed to get clean and that I could do it, now it's my chance to pay back that hope

Thank you melinda and anotheraddict for your kind words they mean a lot to me. Another thank your father for his service to this country as well.
Update....Things are improving...Days ago I was very depressed for getting myself back into this but it is looking up.
Robert consider the RX refills history !!
I decided instead of going through the agony of total w/d's like i did last time I am tapering off my usage this time. I am now down to one Norco 10/325 Vic a day and after this afternoons dose I run out of those, I have 4 Tylenol 3's left and will use two tomorrow and one each day for two days after that...then no more left !! I am thankful that I got this time under control early before I started using heavily like I did before. The taper seems to be working I am still a little tingly and twitchy but my body seems to be ok with the lower doses. Since I have only been re-using for about 6 weeks now I hope when I do end it in a few days my symptoms are minimal and short.
Robert you are so right that the psychological battle and the chance for relapse is always there I underestimated my ability to control my use of pain killers again and I hope to not make that mistake again.
I have genuine pain issues and while opiates do work wonders with the pain the price is too high for me I need to seek alternatives.
Thank You all for your kind words and assistance yet again.

Another replapse statistic...

[Freedom4me]

AFSGTSAM,
Keep up the good work. Your story will help so many people. It will show that even if you fall down you can get back up. Canceling the refills is the most important thing. I too deal with pain. It sucks but you will find a way. I think for me, because i started liking the way I felt I chose not to look very hard for an alternative to pain management. When I stopped the pills i was forced to find other ways and they have helped. When you want and have access to the pills you look through a straw for the solution because you really want a reason that is legitimate to keep taking them. If you find another way for pain relief and keep taking the pills you have to admit that you are dependent on them for other reasons. I admire you. Keep up the good work!! and keep posting your progress!!

Yesterday I took my LAST Norco 10/325 at about 4:00pm and that is the last of it. Today I plan to take two Tylenol 3s then one tomorrow and one last one on Friday then no more. I am still getting mild w/d symptoms mostly muscle twitches and aches but nothing to the level I had before, I am still able to function and go to work. With this taper it is my hope that this weekend all I will have are minor w/d's we shall see it all runs out Friday night. I wish all you reading this great luck and success in your recovery plans it is tough but worth it.

Hang In There !

[melinda7.5]

Hi AFSGTSAM
Hey buddy...I know your tough and can do this again, I'm pulling for you tho.
I will never forget going thru this mess...I think your right and you will be fine after the weekend...
Remember are struggles make us stronger.

Talk to you soon,Melinda

Well just as I feared, my wd symptoms are getting a little worse not that I stopped the Norco's completely. I am getting mostly muscle spasms and twitched and just overall feeling "out of it". I guess this is the price I have to pay for getting myself back into this. I am hoping that I will be mostly recovered after this weekend. In the mean time I will just muddle along and use things like muscle relaxers (flexril or parafon) and tylenol PM at night to help me sleep.

I keep saying it but thanks for all your input and kind words.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by AFSGTSAM

Well just as I feared, my wd symptoms are getting a little worse not that I stopped the Norco's completely. I am getting mostly muscle spasms and twitched and just overall feeling "out of it". I guess this is the price I have to pay for getting myself back into this. I am hoping that I will be mostly recovered after this weekend. In the mean time I will just muddle along and use things like muscle relaxers (flexril or parafon) and tylenol PM at night to help me sleep.

I keep saying it but thanks for all your input and kind words.

Hi AFSGTSAM
So you have the weekend off right !!!
do you have any pills for tomorrow...
Just wondering how bad your going to be feeling...
Sorry,I'm trying to make light of the situation...
Trying to make you laugh...
Your going to make it ...
Hang in there...let us know how it's going..
Melinda

Melinda and all,

I am out of pills now and in what I would guess is a cold turkey phase. Becasue I caught myself this time before getting into the long term heavy use I did last time the w/ds while there are not as bad as before. I am using flexril muscle relaxers and Motrin PM to settle the tremors and sleep and they seem to help a lot. Yesterday was the worst of it so far lots of muscle spasms and the runs. I took 5 showers just to help me settle down....between the showers and runs I feel like I am living in the bathroom all i need is a recliner and tv in there and I can move in. I have been working half days for the last few days and I do have the weekend off. I feel a little better today and it is my hope that after a weekend of detox I will be myself again by monday. I thought I could limit myself and just take the norcos during real bouts of pain but it turns out Robert was right I can never take those again they have too much of a grip on me. Lesson learned !!


I hope and pray for each and everyone of you that read this for a successful detox and a speedy recovery.

Looking Better !

[anotheraddict]

Sam,

Hey, we are all here for you! I know that the w/d sucks, but you will get through it. You've done it before, and I am sure that you have been through some rough things throughout your service career. Remember that there's no such thing as "I can't". You are stronger than those pills. Good idea to look at this as a lesson learned. It's a much better way to look at it than being down on yourself.

Before you know it, this will be just an unpleasant memory. Keep your head up

Saturday was tough lots of muscle spasms and twitches....Sunday a little better and now here I am monday morning. I still feel a little "out of sorts" but it is clear to me the worst is over by a long shot. I think the small tapering off i did made this a little easier and of course I caught myself this time much earlier than the last time. I didnt get to the 12-15 pills a day level I hit last year. Within a few days I think this will be over but like Robert said the psychological battle will continue for years. This is a problem I will have to deal with for a long time.

Here's to looking ahead !!

[anotheraddict]

Sam,

So glad to hear that you are forging on. As far as the psychological battle, there are many of us fighting right along with you. You are not alone in the least, and this is one battle we cannot afford to lose. We have to stick together and rely on one another to get through the daily struggle. Together we can succeed

Anotheraddict,
You got that right describing it as your own personal hell, I couldnt have said it better. The crazy thing is when you are doing the pills you dont even realize it your whole thinking changes, they have such a grip on you it cannot be controlled. I knew getting off of these things would be tough but the amount of pain and effort is far more than I thought it would be. The temptation will always be there to give it a go again, I and all of us will have to fight this deamon for the rest of our lives.
It seems that most if not all of the physical sypmtoms are gone now, I am glad I caught it early or this would be even worse.
I cannot and will not allow this to happen again !!

I hope this is it for you as well, best wishes in your recovery....

AFSGTSAM....................anotheraddict too.

Today is the first day that I am actually feeling great again, no more physical w/d's I seem to be over it and this time for good !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot allow myself to get back into this again.

I look forward to hearing from others as they reach the promised land and start feeling "normal" again.

Best of luck to all !!!!!!

[Freedom4me]

So glad yo hear you are feeling great. Isn't it a good feeling? Don't let your guard down. I almost did a couple times but posting here has helped me. I am going to make this. You will stop thinking about it less and less. Good job!!

Thank You freedom for the kind words. I learned all too well how easy it is to fall right back into addiction. I got clean before and went through hell getting there, I thought I could handle and limit my use of painkillers again. Was I soooo wrong, the amazing thing is it took me so little time to start abusing them again. I am so happy that this is over again and I reallly do not want to fall off the wagon again. Like Robert has said so many time this is a lifetime battle.
I hope you are doing well and I wish all in here much success on the road to sobriety.