[SHAMAN316]

Eha,

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is look away from someone by looking into ourselves.

I'm glad you were able to look into yourself and demonstrate unwavering character. I believe you've saved yourself further anguish in your decision.

I will hope and pray he finds his way and will, "... realize.", but am glad to hear you won't be walking the painful path from now-until-then with him. Until he's ready, his chosen path will be a much different stroll than yours, upon much rougher terrain. (I like to picture it as an Indiana Jones type path... outrun the boulder, now dodge the spikes, jump over the snakes ) Whatever it may be, there will be lots of ducking-and-dodging, trying to outmanuever the next hazard.

Thanks for sharing your story and for demonstrating your unwavering character... now that's detaching with love.

Many continued Blessings,
Shaman

[Eha1215]

Shaman,
Thank your for your words of encouragement! I feel a little better as time goes by though some days are still pretty bad. There's definately a lot to think about lately because he came back and wants to make a choice based off of me and its put a lot of pressure on me. I'm confused on whether I should remain having contact and being in his life or just completely withdraw myself from it. I'm afraid that if I remain in his life he will never truly "realize" like he said... at the same thing I think I have to start realizing myself that perhaps with or without me he might never come to realizations that might lead to his recovery. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to go through more than what I already have...

[SHAMAN316]

Eha,

In my opinion, his desire to recover or not is wholly based upon what he wants for himself. His BEHAVIOR should be demonstrating HIS desire to stop effecting himself and those within his world. He chose to use with and without you so why can't he choose to seek recovery with or without you?

An active addict uses because his team won, because his team lost, because it's a Holiday... or because it's Tuesday. He has to choose recovery for himself because his team won or lost or because it's Tuesday. (I hear they have meetings most, if not all, Tuesdays)

It is unfair, though not surprising, he has placed the responsibility for his recovery upon you. Take the pressure off yourself... this choice truly isn't yours to make.

Many Blessings,
Shaman

[Eha1215]

I don't think he plans to give it up anytime soon actually, which is why we're not together. But I told him we can still talk here and then as opposed to me completely shutting him out of my life. His family has come to the same accord with him, basically respect us and don't show up high, don't do it at the house, things like that. If he wants to do it he can do it on his own time at his place or his buddies'...all everyone is asking for is either respect us and our beliefs or don't call or look for us at all to which he's agreed. The decision he wants to make is whether he should move to Hawaii or stay where we live. But he's trying to make it based off of me..basically waiting to know how I feel about it and how that would affect my relationship or the possibility of there being a relationship with me. I feel pressure because he's good at this...making us make the decisions for him so that when it all goes wrong the blame goes on whoever influenced him in the first place. I feel pressure because choice A) is go to Hawaii and quit school and his job or B) Stay, continue to go to school and look for a better job...and even though what he does is not my concern anymore I do feel bad because I know his family (to whom I'm close to) obviously would want him to stay and continue in school. It's almost like a threat...as in "hey if you can't offer me hope of having a relationship and see each other and let me call you often I'm leaving to Hawaii" or at least that's how it feels to me. I don't understand his desire in keeping a relationship w/ me anyway to be honest. When we do talk it's always some sort of stupid fight that I gladly and proudly can say know how to turn down and nicely walk away from as soon as I sense it'll start. My life is pretty ok without him, I obviously do miss him, but since he can't be high around me he's constantly pissed off and rude and mean which makes me forget why I'm missed him in the first place. Right now he's waiting on me to share my thoughts and opinions...which I really don't know if I want to because I don't want to have any influence whatsoever in his decision... I feel he needs to make it and be responsible for its consequences and its important that he doesnt have any one to point fingers to...

[Eha1215]

I've had a rough week this week so I feel the need to vent out...
I saw my therapist on Tuesday and agreed to speak with my ex about unfinished business (I guess). He said he'd call me after I got out of the therapist, but he never did. Couple days went by and still no call from him. I woke up one day with this odd feeling in my chest, I felt like something was going on I don't know I can't explain it. Sometimes I feel a weird connection with him, it's happened before, where I get that feeling in my chest and it turns out something was going on with him. So as the day went by I decided I had to find out what so that I'd stop feeling so restless and that feeling would go away. I called his mother and she told me that he's not moving to Hawaii because the friend that was gonna help him out over there is moving back to FL. Apparently, he called her and his sister to tell them, (he was high though so the mother refused to speak to him because he was under the influence). It seems that he's called everybody but me. I know I should'nt be looking for contact or anything... but nonetheless I feel a little sad about it because he made his choice such a big deal and even tried to put it on me and in the end he didn't call me to tell me about it and we never got to talk about w/e "unfinished business" we had. From what his family tells me he sounds very depressed and my instict is to do something about it but I know that I can't. I know I have to really withdraw myself, because he's not even including me in his life anymore and why should he? we're not even together. I guess it just bothers me because I thought I was important to him nonetheless. I know I really have to stop trying to find out things...even if I sense them happening...

[kathleen5hockey]

We all have the 6th sense. I know when my daughter is putting the needle in her arm most times. It the connection we have. Don't feel guilty. It's a game, believe me. He will find out you have been asking about him. He will let you stew a few days, when things get really bad he will call you. Please stay strong. Move on, go for a walk, see some friends. Don't get sucked into drug world, your out, be thankful!

Stay strong!!

[Eha1215]

Kathleen,
I've been trying desperately and I think that my persistence to not give in is what's got me doing well so far. It's difficult to understand all these little games that are going on, if they are going on. Mostly it's been difficult to keep myself from asking whats going on with him... I dont understand the point of playing games with me if that's the case. One day he hates me next day he loves me or I just don't know anything. I wish I could get answers to all these questions and with every situation new questions arise and add to the long list of those that are unanswered.

[SHAMAN316]

Eha,

Sounds like you're head and heart are congruent, which is a good place to be. It doesn't mean there won't be moments in which our hearts soften, nor does it mean we don't love or care any longer. I try to remind myself that feelings change... they are fleeting and often change quickly. This is an especially true dynamic of the addict/loved one relationship.

I'm glad to hear you have some peace as the dissonance between your head and heart has lessened. Keep fighting the good fight and remember what your values and character are upholding in you.

Many Blessings,
Shaman

[Dr.Phil_Is_Satan]

I have been reading posts in this forum for some time now but this is the first time I have posted. I am not trying to start off on the wrong foot but I dont know why the conversation has not mentioned the fact that marijuana doesnt make someone who smokes pot hate a person they love. Marijuana doesnt turn good people into bad people. I dont know why it hasnt been brought up that eha's boyfriend/exboyfriend is just rebelling against everyone and everything. It sounds like he is just going through a rough spot in his life and it is not pot that is causing him to act like he is. It sounds like there is something else going on that he isnt letting you in on... People change for odd reasons, they change can often into odd things, and when they do change you never know why... The rest of what needs to be said has already been said to you so I wont double up on it.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Dr.Phil_Is_Satan

I have been reading posts in this forum for some time now but this is the first time I have posted. I am not trying to start off on the wrong foot but I dont know why the conversation has not mentioned the fact that marijuana doesnt make someone who smokes pot hate a person they love. Marijuana doesnt turn good people into bad people. I dont know why it hasnt been brought up that eha's boyfriend/exboyfriend is just rebelling against everyone and everything. It sounds like he is just going through a rough spot in his life and it is not pot that is causing him to act like he is. It sounds like there is something else going on that he isnt letting you in on... People change for odd reasons, they change can often into odd things, and when they do change you never know why... The rest of what needs to be said has already been said to you so I wont double up on it.

Dr.Phil_Is_Satan .... your name kind of scared me I have to admit. I totally expected this to be a "rant" post. But I have to say that I agree with you.

Come on guys! I'm totally in favor of getting clean and living life as it plays out. I harp about getting clean every day on this forum. But I started getting high in 1968 and I've never seen anyone totally lose it over smoking pot. It just doesn't happen. People don't turn on their loved ones because they are a pot "addict". At least that's the way it's been in my life.

This guy has got some issues obviously, but the pot is just a symptom of his other problems. He needs to get some help but I have a feeling that if he gets some help POT won't be the main problem in the guy's life. Other than a pothead maybe falling asleep when someone is talking to them I've never seen pot cause any kind of really bad behavior.

I'm really curious to see what the real culprit is causing this guy's actions. Something is eating at this guy, but it's not the pot doing this to him. If it is then he is the first person out of THOUSANDS that I know who spent decades smoking pot without any anti-social behavior. God bless.

[Dr.Phil_Is_Satan]

Sorry about the name scaring you... I just hate that guy... lol Anyway, Im glad that someone else agrees. I feel as if this thread is pushing information that is just incorrect. Im 38 years old and have been smoking pot as well as been around lots of people for lots of years that smoke pot as well and to be completely honest, I think that marijuana has more positive qualities than negative.
In my opinion, if you really want to help this kid than you should drop the issue with the pot. Im sure he would be easier to deal with if he wasnt being persecuted for smoking weed. I remember reading in this thread somewhere that you guys have been dating for years, that you are from a smaller town, and that you just moved to the city. Am I correct with those things? If I am than it may just be that he has been introduced to new people, new things, and new places. This whole thing may just be all over him wanting to break up with you... I know guys can act pretty freakin funny when they want to end a relationship but also feel responsible for that very same person they want to end the relationship with. It seems that you and him are relatively young as well. People grow up and when they grow up they change. It may be that you guys are growing apart and its just time for you to go your seperate ways. It really doesnt sound to me that this guy is going off the deep end or immersed in the shady world of drug addiction. It just sounds like he is finding out what life is all about on his own time in his own way.

[Robert_325]

I don't advocate smoking pot. But at the same time I don't remember ever seeing anyone go down the tubes over smoking pot. A person who is having lots of personal issues will have those issues whether they smoke pot or not. That's just my opinion. God bless.

[brndout]

Originally Posted by Dr.Phil_Is_Satan

Sorry about the name scaring you... I just hate that guy... lol Anyway, Im glad that someone else agrees. I feel as if this thread is pushing information that is just incorrect. Im 38 years old and have been smoking pot as well as been around lots of people for lots of years that smoke pot as well and to be completely honest, I think that marijuana has more positive qualities than negative.
In my opinion, if you really want to help this kid than you should drop the issue with the pot. Im sure he would be easier to deal with if he wasnt being persecuted for smoking weed. I remember reading in this thread somewhere that you guys have been dating for years, that you are from a smaller town, and that you just moved to the city. Am I correct with those things? If I am than it may just be that he has been introduced to new people, new things, and new places. This whole thing may just be all over him wanting to break up with you... I know guys can act pretty freakin funny when they want to end a relationship but also feel responsible for that very same person they want to end the relationship with. It seems that you and him are relatively young as well. People grow up and when they grow up they change. It may be that you guys are growing apart and its just time for you to go your seperate ways. It really doesnt sound to me that this guy is going off the deep end or immersed in the shady world of drug addiction. It just sounds like he is finding out what life is all about on his own time in his own way.

I don't think people on here really care that he smokes pot. Its that she doesn't think its OK and they really need to be who they are and if it doesn't mesh than it will save alot of heartache to move on. He can find someone who doesn't mind or who will smoke with him and she needs to find someone who believes as she does. No right or wrong in the big picture as far as I can see, they just aren't on the same page. Thanks for a fresh view.

[Eha1215]

I agree with all of you. It's a little unexplainable to us as to why he acts the way he acts. His mother (biological, because he's adopted) was a heroin addict so maybe he never felt like he fit in with his adoptive fam? I reallyyy don't know...and him trying to break up with me...I felt like that for a while too...he just didn't know how? but then it's confusing because I feel like he's chased after me for years now, trying to "keep me" in his life. I've been pretty easygoing in that sense, we would talk about it a lot...it'd tell him it's really ok if he didn't feel a connection between us. But he'd always freak out... there was multiple times that I felt like we should've separated but he'd always freak out if I said that. So if he was trying to be funny about breaking up with me I really don't know...I'm not a guy :-). I don't know how he feels, I'm not him. I always thought that pot was a stage that a majority of people go through and then they get over it, I never knew someone that lost himself over it either. His parents feel like it has because he's dropped everything just so he can smoke it. Sometimes though I think there might be something else going on... All I'm trying to do is get over it honestly, but it's difficult because of his behavior towards me...one day he's cool the next he's not...it's really weird. He was in rehab a while back over the marijuana though...so honestly I REALLY have no clue anymore as to what's what... I just feel like he smokes TOO much..and he does a lot of stupid things just to smoke or to get marijuana. Either way, not to be judgemental, I don't want to be with someone that drops everything over a drug...whether its MJ or alcohol or whatever.

[Dr.Phil_Is_Satan]

I hope what I have said so far didnt come off harsh. I really wasnt trying to be. I probably should have said more... You are definitely doing the right thing by trying to move on. I know it can be hard for alot of people to do. I think probably most people have at least one relationship that is difficult to get over. If they ever get over it... No person should ever drop everything going on in their life for any single thing. Life is a balancing act and its tough at being a well rounded person. Some people are better than others, and some just dont have what it takes. I know alot of people have a really hard time when they were "younger". Some peoples 20's literally play out like horror stories. Alot of even those people grow up eventually and get it together. Hopefully he just needs to grow up a little, and if hopefully he does it sooner than later. It sounds like your smart enough to not get sucked into his nonsense though. There is such a good chance he will be wishy washy with you for some time. If you want him around through your life just decide on what your willing to deal with and what your not. I have had people in my life that I cared about but were going through hard times. They have done bad things to me because of extenuating circumstances like addiction. I got to a point where I would not allow them to be in ANY position to hurt me or use me. At the same time though I didnt want to loose touch with these people because I care for them. A couple of them have really turned their lives around and now we are great friends again.
I at the same time think that there are some much larger issues deep down with this kid and marijuana is not the cause of whats going on with him now. At the same time it sounds like he is rebelling against everything right now. Looking for someone or something to identify with. It doesnt mean he is a bad person. He may just be confused. Growing up is a very hard thing to do.
That was more or less what I was trying to say before I just tried to make it "compressed". Hope I didnt offend anyone! If i did sorry

[Eha1215]

No offense taken. Some people feel like marijuana is no big, some people do, as they might or might not with diff. drugs. In my specific situation I just feel that the guy is obviously immature and confused and what not and well...the marijuana is not exactly helping. The marijuana is not the cause of his choices...ultimately it's ALLLL up to him. But in my opinion, if he plans to get better his use at least needs to degrade if not stop at all because like I said he pretty much drops anyone and anything for it...the only people he hangs out with are people that are completely accepting of his immaturity, his habits, and his poor choices or just people that are using him. He's def. a different person now...and he didn't exactly improve... he's just degrading more and more...so I guess we'll see what time dictates. Maybe it'll be like your friends...and later on he'll get his life together and we'll be friends or something who knows. I just feel in a tough spot because well..based off how things usually turn out he comes back with some magical solution to things and they turn out to be lies. I'm not okay with being with someone that excessively drinks, smokes, etc. And he tends to lie about those type of things just so that I take him back...that's what I dont want. I dont want his choices to affect me anymore and I want to be strong enough to face those type of things with him. I dont like how he is when he's high... he just lies and manipulates. And I refuse to accept his habit because it goes against me

[kathleen5hockey]

It sounds to me as if he is doing more than smoking weed. No matter what the drug of choice is, if he is not treating her like the lady she is than it's time to move on.

[Eha1215]

Thanks everyone for the support...
I have to say I agree for the most part with all of you. The reason I refuse to give in even if it's just a little is because I honestly believe that the drugs are affecting him...if it was just a relationship issue he wouldn't have so many problems with his family as well. I'm just at a spot where I reallly feel my powerlessness over things (which for a co-dependent person it's HORRIBLE) and the reason I post here is because I like getting support from others that might be going through something similar of have experience... I know he's not the worst druggie out there...some of you don't even consider him a druggie..that's fine. Some people feel like hey it's just MJ why are you freaking out and no offense to you but just like alcohol it doesn't exactly have you in all your senses when you use. It still affects your behavior, whether it's in a good way or bad away in when you're under the influence you're not the REAL you even if it's just at that moment. I'm not comfortable with being with someone that has to be under the influence of ANYTHING to function or to be "chilled" 24/7. The loss has already happened for me...I have no control over anything but myself right now...all I want is to be able to have that support...that things will eventually be okay with me. I want to learn to de-attach from this person, to not let his use affect my life anymore. I don't want tips on becoming more open minded...I'm not interested in that...it's not me. I'm not going to be cool with the drug use because the drug use enables the person's needs for the drugs, and when the needs are not met that leads to poor choices and the poor choices affect anyone that cares for the user whether we like it or not. Being constantly lied to, deceived and fooled..it's just not okay...and it hurts alot when it's done by someone that you really trusted and you thought loved you enough to respect you.

[SHAMAN316]

With all do respect, I have seen people close to me "go down the tubes" from just smoking pot. I've had money stolen from me for pot, I've had to physically defend myself and other loved ones because someone couldn't get their pot, and I've lost my brother and son for periods due to pot.

There's no arguing marijuana is mood altering. In addition, a 'condition' known as A-motivational personality occurs. The active chemical in marijuana is THC, which loves fat... and the neurons in the brain are covered in guess what... fat. The THC 'attaches' to the fat that pads neurons, forming a layer around the neuron, slowing the transmission of messages through the central nervous system. It's most obvious in someone who may be referred to as "burned-out" or a "stoner". Prolonged exposure leads to no motivation, slowed responses, or a blunted affect. Point being, there IS a physiological occurence that impacts thinking and personality.

With all do respect again, I tend to agree with Kathleen that, if anything, there's more than just pot in the mix. And regardless of the root cause, there have been lies, deceit, and deception injected into Eha's relationship, which SHE acknowledges are not all right with her. For me, dishonesty is a deal breaker in a relationship and it sounds that way for Eha too. So, THE POT IS AN ISSUE FOR HER because it is leading to dishonesty. PERIOD.

I'm glad you're standing your ground, Eha. So long as you choose, you don't have to make your decisions based upon what someone else may or may not do... you can spend a lifetime waiting for someone to grow up, adjust to his environment, become enlightened as to what the 'real' issues are, or to self-actualize. The relationship is troubling for you and only you can decide how much time, energy, and effort you're willing to invest.

Thanks again for your Experience, Strength, Hope, and CHARACTER. Please keep sharing your commitment to not settling for less to those of us effected by something that's 'no big deal'.

Many Blessings,
Shaman

[Eha1215]

Shaman,
I REALLY appreciate your posts. This one has definately made my day allllll better!
It's difficult for me to stand my ground...my heart is in the most absolute pain :-( but I know that it'll be temporary. I do struggle with this every day... he plays mind games with me acts like he doesnt care but in the end hey...he still calls to find out things. It's a bit funny actually, he'll call in the meanest tone of voice but the point is ...he called.
Sometimes I feel like I struggle with waiting for this guy to grow up...I still feel that hope and I just want to kill it to save myself from further dissapointment. I wish I could just live without expectations from him... I think that might be the harderst part about my own recovery so far.
Again Shaman thank you so much for your comments and support! Thanks to everyone too :-)

[Brian G]

Originally Posted by Eha1215

Hi,
I will try to keep the story as brief as possible. My boyfriend of almost 5 years has been addicted to marijuana for the past 2 years. It was a great struggle to even get him to graduate highschool. He's 19 and adopted, his biological parents were both drug addicts and his mother passed away when he was only 3. The family that raised him is a good family that has tried and tried to raise him well and be supportive. I've been pretty supportive myself and tried to be there for him when we found out about his addiction whereas most people would've never gotten involved. He was a great kid, but ever since he began using he's a completely different person. He's been to rehab then got kicked out, was attending meetings then stopped, and it seemed for a second that he was getting his life straight after high school but again he relapsed. Finally, he moved to where I live in a city that is about an hour away from our hometown to start brand new and attend college. I helped him out a lot with finding a job, a place, and helping him figure out school and be an adult. For months I couldn't quite figure out why he seemed to want less and less time with me and he got angered quickly. He seemed to be pretty good at flipping the script on me when we fought and I found myself apologizing and always being the one trying to work things out between us. Then a week ago, I went to look for him, concerned because I hadn't heard from him and walked into an apartment full of trash, clothes and cig packets everywhere, marijuana, and a guy that wasn't supposed to be there supposedly sharing the room with him. I freaked out and called his mom who told me she had somewhat of a clue of what was going on. Basically, I was the witness to her suspicion now. She's decided to cut all communication with him and not help him anymore with anything. He never bothered to communicate with me, just with her, and he ended up being nasty and rude to her and hung up. They havent talked since that last time. He's never called me at all either, neither to say sorry or to yell at me like he usually did. I feel like he hates me right now and it hurts that he wont even talk to me. I know that the best thing I can do for him and myself is to leave it alone and focus on myself, yet I'm finding it very hard to deal with the anxiety of not knowing if he's okay and not quite understanding why he would continuously lie and keep me around?! I'm really confused, not being able to find any logical explanation as to why someone would prefer to live in a pig sty and not doing anything w/ their lives as compared to having a caring family, girlfriend, an education, and a good life and future. Any advice or ideas on how to cope will be greatly appreciated! I feel a constant heartache even though this is not the first time he falls into his addiction....

I once was in your boyfriends shoes with marijuana about 10 yrs ago i did alot of the same thing he doing . right now hun nothing you do can help him .he will sit and hit rock bottom and figure out what is most important to him (i did ) but as for you girl you need to get your self together before he drives you crazy . i can't tell you it will be the same out come as me back than but i do hope the best for you guys . god bless you both but be strong ..

I'm going to be on here alot now detoxing as we speak so if you need someone to talk to ill be around ....god bless


Brian G

[Eha1215]

Brian,
thanks for your post. I think it'll be interesting to see what you post because I haven't had anyone post in regards to my problem that has been on the other side of the issue, so I'm looking forward to your posts as well as hopefully be able to support you if you need someone to talk to :-). What has your experience been like? I only know how people in my shoes have felt and dealt with things. I have to admit most of the time I wonder how he might be feeling.
I talked to him last night, but I think it will be the last time for a long time. He feels like he has his life together because he has a job, a place to stay, and he's going to school. He still blames me for a lot of things, says I've done too much "snitching" and thanks to that his relationship with his mother is not good anymore because now she "talks to him different". Obviously she's not accepting of what's going on so she's decided to detach and stop suffering so she has admitted to me that she's a bit cold and indifferent towards him. Mostly he just blames me for things between us going downhill and now things between him and his family not being that great... he takes advice from his friends, says everyone agrees with him that I took it too far and all that. I told him I didn't feel sorry, because well...it happened out of impulse and anger. I was pretty shocked of what I found...when I said that he said that it's bs because I already knew...I just wanted confirmation. I wish I would've never found out to be honest! It was a very hurtful thing to find out. Well anyways, that's how he feels and for parts of the conversation he was civil, for parts of it he was a butthole and I remained as civil as possible too. I didn't bother with explanations or anything like that...he believes his friends anyway and that's that. In the end I'm still the bad guy that blew things up... I told him he'd eventually get caught with or without my help...but he says he didn't get caught...almost as if that's what REALLY bothers him. I told him I hope life brought better things for him now and that I'd miss him and left it at that. I just hate it that he makes it seem as if I was the problem. None of this would've happened if he would've just been honest...to me the point is that I was clear to say I don't want to be with someone who does drugs including MJ... he shouldn've lied just to keep me around, it was selfish. I wish I would've said THAT! but oh well...I'm better off leaving things alone....

[kathleen5hockey]

It seems as if they all blame us for what they do. Silly isn't it? The problem is sometimes we believe them. Stay strong, you definately have what it takes to conquer anything!

Dr Phil,

There are a lot of people with drug problems in here and I have learned one thing in life about it.
POT IS a DRUG !
Not only is it illegal it has horrible side and addictive effects. It rots the brain and there is NO justification for using it there are no good effects other than the destruction of an individual using it.
It is no diffrent than any other drug.
One last thing smoking anything is bad all the ******** and pollutants you breathe into your lungs cannot be a good thing.

Just a humble opinion.

[Eha1215]

Kathleen,
I'm not gonna lie, I still somewhat believe how he puts things. I wish last night's conversation would've had more assertiveness from my part really, it just seems like when I do talk to him I just fall back... I should say a lot of things not caring what he says or if he gets mad. I still have to work on that...
I don't know if he'll look for me again but we'll see...

[kathleen5hockey]

Hi Eha, hang in there, it is a long road. Just be happy you are not married! My suggestion is when you think of things you want to say to him jot them down on a pad and leave it by the phone, that way you will be ready. Surprise is one of the things my daughter uses too. Just when you think you are settled and ok, wham. It might help. I use writings to see how far I have come, this forum is wonderful for that, but I also keep a list on the computer. Thought someday to write a book. We have to always be prepared. Stay strong, you are young, get out and enjoy your life. It's summer, do lots of fun things. But be ready, when he hears about you living your life he will be calling again. Have a great day! Is it Friday yet?

[Eha1215]

Thanks!
I actually had my last exam for this semester in college so my summer literally begins today! I had to celebrate to I went to the beach and relaxed :-). It's like my favorite place to just relax and let my problems and thoughts go...
I know it'll be a long road... getting over the longest relationship I've had so far on top of it being the one where the most feelings from my part were involved and to the reason as to why it all went downhill is not exactly something to get over in a short pd of time...I try to not think about all that too much..but anyways hope everyone has a good week :-)

[Eha1215]

Had an Ok day but bad news. It seems I'm gonna have to re-take the class I was taking this semester. I passed, but I need a better letter grade :-(. Sometimes I feel like the toll of this situation has been too much..it never allows me to focus on the things I need to focus, and all the effort I put into my classes and my job is almost worthless because in the end, having thoughts about everything that's happened and the drugs and all that makes me lose focus and I end up getting caught up. It adds to the stress and it frustrates me because all I want is for that to stop and for things in my life to go on and good things to happen for me. Sometimes it feels like it constantly rains on my parade and that I've lost so much. It's so hard to get back on my feet when I'm constantly getting dissapointed and I work so hard yet it wont pay off because this is still affecting my life and train of thought :-(

[kathleen5hockey]

I know exactly what you are talking about. You are young, things do get better. You have to make yourself consentrate on your school work. It takes a while to get used to. Usually we don't put ourselves first. Do not let anyone ruin your future plans, no one! This is your life, make sure you are living life to the fullest. Do not think about what "they" might be doing, thinking, etc. We never know the answer. Summer is here, if not to late take the class over. My son is taking 2 summer classes. Force yourself to have fun, it will get easier in fact one day you will be laughing and think wow, I feel great! Believe me, I live it.

Have a great weekend, if not raining where you are enjoy the sun. We have had rain for the past 2 weeks! Need sunshine.

[Eha1215]

Thanks Kathleen! I do feel like just quitting sometimes it's so frustrating but you're right!
I live in Florida so the weather is nice right now :-) I do feel less stress sometimes...
The only thing lately has been that I'm close to his family... I don't know if I should just avoid allll of them or not. I'd feel so bad... Any advice?