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Too many vicodin
Too many vicodin
For about 2 years now I have suffered with horrible headaches. They were classified by a neurologist as: Tension, stress and migraine. I was given a whole bunch of anti seizure meds to try which only made me very depressed. In the past I have had problems with Klonopin addiction which I kicked cold turkey and stopped all anti depressants as they only made me suicidal. Over the past 2 years my headaches have been so bad that I vomit and have aura's around one eye with constant dots in that eye. I was given Zomig (5mg) which helped for a while, but then I needed more and am currently up to 30 a month. I have read that I may be experiencing rebound headaches from the Zomig and have tried Vicodin rather than take a second Zomig. Well, long story short, this past week I went on vacation with my daughter, grandson and husband and did not bring enough Zomig, but had 30 5mg of Vicodin. Things were fine all week and we had a great time, but each morning I took one Vicodin then one at lunch and one at bedtime. It kept the headache away. On the last day of our vacation, I decided to stay at the hotel because I was tired from walking and just wanted to sit quietly with a book or go on line to watch my dog at doggie day care back home. I ended up with a roaring headache and took a Vicodin, but it didn't seem to help so I took another. After that I blacked out. The family returned and said that I was slurring and stumbling and just passed out at 6:00. For the return trip I took 2 Vicodin for the train ride, but was intercepted by my husband. He accussed me of taking 10 pills the day before, and I honestly can't argue with him, because I truly don't remember how many I took. This scared me and I gave him the rest of the prescription and now I have to earn back the trust I had gained years ago after the Klonopin incident. He still does not believe me when I tell him that I really don't know how many I took. Tomorrow I see my doctor and will discuss this in full detail but I'm just so embarassed for my family. I would never hurt them intentionally as I know what the last addiction cost me. Today I have taken nothing except for 1 Zomig. I should also include that I suffer from Meniere's disease and stress is a big trigger for me, so I take 1-2 (1mg) valium 3 times a day. Never anymore and have maintained that level for over 7 years. Never needing more or taking more. I don't plan on asking my doctor to refil the Vicodin, but discuss what happened and how to go about living with the headaches without pain pills. It's quite obvious that they are not good for me and I know that I can do without them even though I know that I will go through withdrawals. I did it cold turkey with the Klonopin and suffered for 2 weeks straight, but I made it and will do it with this too. I just wish with all my heart that I had not hurt my family and lost the trust they had in me. I know that there is no other was to get it back then by actions, so that is what I will do. I don't know what I need right now, but just by writing this to others may help me with the guilt I feel right now. I love my family and I'm just so ashamed that I did this to them. I do have my dog who I love very much and plan on walking him a lot more than I usually do for exercise and to sweat out any toxins I have in my body. I do drink lots of OJ, but will drink more. I don't drink alcohol but lots and lots of water. Any other suggestions on doing this cold turkey? My doctor and I will have a long discussion on this, as I don't ever want to put my family through this again. It was bad enough one time, now I have to start all over again. But I'm willing to take the licks I probably deserve. All for wanting to stop a horrible headache. Prior to Friday, I had never taken more than prescribed and I don't know how or why I did then. I'm a generally happy person and this guilt it killing me. Thanks for listening. I will probably be here quite often because other than my family and dog, I really am all alone. I don't have friends because I'm pretty shy and have a hard time talking with people. So it's usually me an the dog while everyone is at work or school. I am on disability due to my Meniere's disease being bilateral and never knowing when I might have a vertigo attack. But I've gotten used to that. Now, if withdrawing from Vicodin is anything like Klonopin, I may be up late and looking to talk if anyone is available.
It sounds to me like you were just trying to deal with your bad headaches and took too many vics. That can be dangerous if we take WAY too many and someone ends up getting hurt, but doesn't sound to me like you did anything really terrible. You were ill and doing your best to handle it. Cut yourself some slack and concentrate on getting past using the vicodin. You will do just fine with the focused attitude you have. You haven't done anything wrong purposely to your family. You just took a few too many pills trying to deal with the pain.
Vicodin was never really a good headache med for me. I have used Zomig off and on for ten years or so. I think it's the best headache med I have ever used. It's a vasoconstrictor. It constricts the blood vessels in the head reducing so much blood flow that is likely causing the headaches. I have found that I would actually get a worse headache sometimes if I took too many Vicodin.
W/D from Vicodin can be very tough depending on how much we use and for how long. Sounds like you know what the symptoms are and basically what to do to help them. To be honest if you are taking 5mg vics and had 30 for an entire weekend it doesn't appear to me that your w/d symptoms should be that severe. Thirty 5mg vics is a total of 150mg of vicodin. I used three times that entire amount on a daily basis. Not belittling your dependency but pointing out that this could be worse. Glad it isn't of course. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Good luck.
Too Many Vicodin
Thanks for the post. Where as I may have said that I had 30 - 5mg for a weekend, was incorrect. I had 30 - 5mg for a full week. I have a doctor appointment today at 12:30 and will disucss this in full detail. I appreciate your support, but you don't know my family. They will be looking for anything to keep this thing going. Right now I feel like just packing up the dog and getting in my car and just drive off into the sunset. It's so funny, because for more than 30 years my husband was an active alcoholic and I stuck by him, and never tried to make him feel guilty. But then again, as he states, "I have not feelings, so it doesn't matter." He has been sober for 9 years and I truly hope that he does not relaspe, but if he should, I would never in a million years put him through what he is doing to me. And my daughter, will forever throw this in my face from here to eternity. It's not a loving and supportive family that I deal with. I always feel like they are looking over my shoulder just waiting for the chance to pounce on me and my faults. I don't have a good relationship with my daughter and have been trying so hard to work things out to make it less stressful when she comes over, but I just cannot seem to please her and end up getting screamed at. I do see a therapist once a month and have since being diagnosed with the bilateral Meniere's, and she even thinks that's a bad thing. Right now I'm just trying to make it through the day without crying because of all the pain I have inflicted on my family. I don't blame them for how they feel, but I don't need it shoved in my face everyday that "We've heard this before." Yes, they did, more than 10 years ago. What's it going to take another 10 for them to realize that I did not do this on purpose, but was in severe pain and mistakenly took one too many. Well, I guess that's enought of my crying here right now. I will let you know how I make out at the doctor today and he thoughts. Thanks for listening.
I hope and pray you read this.
DO NOT TELL YOUR DOCTOR YOU THINK YOU ARE ADDICTED TO ANY PAIN MEDS.
YOU ARE NOT! DO YOU HEAR ME, NO MATTER WHAT YOUR FAMILY TELLS YOU, YOU ARE NOT!
Sorry, I want that VERY clear. Listen, if you tell your doc that, you put yourself in a terrible posoition. What if you have to have surgery, fall and break your arm, etc? Yu wont have access to any pain meds, and they will be needed.
I would never say this to someone that had an addiction to the pills but you DONT. 30 pills over one week? And some left over?
Lets figure... 30- 3 pills daliyx 6 days=18
leaves you twelve. You say you gave him the rest, right? Well, unless there were only 1 or 2 left, you didn't take 10.
Oh, and I'm addicted. I take 10 at a time.
I'm sorry your family is like this. I have a husband this way, and when he's on pain meds he EATS them. When I broke my foot, he took mine because he thought I should NEVER take more than just ONE at night.
I understand,. but please have some faith in yourself, ok? You have feelings, and you damn well deserve better than this.
Too Many Vicodin
Thanks for the post. I had already gone to the doctor before I read your post and the funny thing is that I did NOT tell him I was addicted to the vic, but that I had taken too many because of an excruciating headache. The sad thing is that right before I was to go to my appointment, my husband actually called MY doctor to discuss this. He didn't tell me until he got a call from his doctor and then he let me know that he had left a message for MY doctor. He told me that he did not believe me when I said that I was going to let my doctor know what had happened and that he was only doing this because he was scared and loved me. He tried to turn it around that if he were to to go back to drinking that I would probably do the same thing. My doctor told him that he was not allowed to discuss me or my treatment, so hubby said that he understood, but wanted to let my doctor know that HE thought the medication was not good for me. When I got to the doctor, my BP was 212/198 due to the stress that I have been under since Saturday. I told my doctor exactly what had happened and he told me that he saw no indication of addiction or abuse. Just that I was in so much pain that I took too many, and it was an accident. He asked me if I would agree (for hubbys sake) to keep the vic and give me one as needed for the headaches. Since I know that I don't have a problem (inspite of my family telling me I do) I told him that I did not have a problem with that. I also asked my doctor if he would please call my husband back to let him know that I was truthful as to the incident and that he still felt that for now, the vics were my best option to control the migraines. But you know I feel like a little kid right now. When we got up this morning, hubby asked how I was feeling and I told him that I did have a headache but would not ask for a vic. He got all ticked off and told me to lose the attitude. I explained to him, that I was going by his earlier suggestion, to wait a bit to see if it would go away. When it didn't I took 3 motrin and walked the dog. I finally broked down about 1/2 hour ago and took the vic. I have put a call into my therapist as my daughter is going way overboard over this whole thing. I usually watch my Grandson all summer and during the school year take him to school and pick him up until she gets off work. Now she is looking into other avenues for his care. But that is not my problem, and my husband just told me that she is blowing this thing way out of proportion (sp). So right now that is what is going on, but I will keep you posted. I refuse to let my daughter bring me down and make me feel guilty for something I did not do on purpose. She works in the medical field and she would be totally supportive of anyone else, but has no tolerance when it comes to me. I have just asked my husband that while my Grandson is at his Dad's for the next 2 weeks to not have my daughter come around, because I don't need to have her in my face and calling me names or putting me down. Well, guys, I guess that's it for now. I will post again after I see my therapist. It's really great that this site is here and I am so grateful that there are so many who understand.
Hello July, This is my first post. I made this account because i read your topic and this subject hits very close to home for me. I have had jaw pain and head aches like i can not stand for 6 months now. (started 3 years ago) I started with 1 vicodin, soon was taking 2.. then 3.. and so on now i take 4 for a small dose, and 6-7 if im feeling really bad. I probably have over 500 vicodin / Norco / various other hydrocodone products in my house. Now they really don't do anything for me any more. I had no problem with addiction, one day i woke up and decided they werent working and 7 was a ridiculous amount to take so I stopped taking them and went back to my doctor. I've never blacked out or anything, but I started slowly, 1 ever 4 hours for a month, then 2 for a month or two, and so on.. But keep in mind im Male about 180 pounds.
I'm by no means a health care professional, i worked as a RVT for 5 years but doggie health care and human health care 2 completely different things. But as someone with experience, Go back to your doctor tell him/her what happend. Try not to take anymore until you go back and talk with him/her, (or at least call a pharmacist) slurring words makes me worry about you.
I'm currently on Oxycodone which is almost like morphine in a way. Its very powerful, but i'm taking more than your average cancer patient takes because i just do not take well to pain meds.
I know for a fact that things can be done for migraines, and cluster or tension headaches. Ive actually had botox shots in my forehead because the doctor thought it was migranes.(i'm not saying go out and ask about botox...) and they have given me medication specifically for migraines. My cousin had horrible cluster headaches and he took a few pills for a month then one a month for a few months and now is fine. And for tension headaches alone, getting some exercise usually works miracles. If not have you tried acupuncture? psysical theorpy? PLEASE if your doctor wants to keep you on pain meds,and do nothing else... go see other doctors until you have tried EVERYTHING else. Don't lose hope things can be done
post here anytime. This is a wonderful place to come and vent, get advice and offer your own knowledge. You sound very isolated, and loneliness is an awful thing, I know.
I'm so glad it worked out with your doctor. Now that that is past, try to relax as much as possible. Just don't take your daughters calls and do your best to simply ignore your husbands digging remarks.
Take care of yourself, and don't allow your family to make you feel bad because you are sick.
Sorry for posting twice, but If your loved ones are having this much trouble with this, ask them to call a pharmacist, or post here on the boards, or heck even go in the doctors appointment with you! So they can see that you are not addicted and you are doing what you HAVE to do to get by. I have to say though if i saw a loved one in your condition with the slurring and so on, I would be more than concerned. But as someone going thorough somewhat the same ordeal as you, I have to say they need to understand what you have to do and really not hassle you about it but be supportive. The harder the time they give you, the less likely you are to recover.
The 20+ doctors and acupunctureist i have gone to have finally decided my problem was neurological, And since that is kind of a grey area for them, they have me on pain medication until we find a way to fix this. Now I am taking Oxycodone 30mg (not Oxycontin extended release) but the straight out Oxycodone 30mg I take 2x in the morning 2x in the afternoon, and a Flexeril in the evening on a good day. That my friend is more than your average cancer patient will take. That is an insane amount of Narcotics to be taking, but I have to do it to function. Most days i take 6-10 in a day. Is it dangerous, probably.. but I have to do it to live a normal life until we find a solution. If you don't know what Oxycodone is, it is comparable to Morphine.
Now i let you know all of my personal info so you would feel a little better.
Now that lecture is over.. (remember try to imagine what your loved ones are going through, keep them in the loop and get them educated, the drugs you are taking are very very small amounts of pain meds in general so you are doing fine) I looked at what my doc gave me for migranes (migranes werent what i ended up having) but to tell you so you can ask your doctor.
-Migranal is a nose spray
-Treximet is (sumatriptin and Naproxen) Naproxen is rx strength aleve
-Frova (frovatriptan succinate) carefull I had a reaction to this one and was throwing up all day. But ill list it anyway since it was probably just me who had this reaction.
And for those tension headaches an hour at the gym 3 times a week will do wonders, i'm not even joking.
Too Many Vicodin
Thank you to everyone for their input on my situation. I went to see my therapist on an emergency basis because I was so upset at what I had put my family through and what they are putting me through. She was keen on the idea of my husband keeping the vics and having control of them. I didn't have a problem with that either. Also, someone who my husband knows has just gone through some similar things with his wife and offered to have her speak with me. We spoke at length today and she is going to a headache facility here in RI that I looked up and it seems to be more promising than all the other alternatives I've tried so far. Here is the link if anyone would like to know more about it and how they operate: http://www.neurohealth.info/index.htm
I printed out all the info and also will start to keep a headache diary for the next 90 days as they suggest. Tomorrow I am going to drop off all that I had printed along with the link to my doctor and see if he can get me a referal to be seen there. My last referal for the headaches was to the Leahy Clinic in Burlington, MA, but I'm not being seen again until September and not with the doctor but with the nurse practioner.
I may be grabbing at straws, but if I can get the headaches to stop or quiet down, I think it will make a difference.
Like I just told my husband, I'm sorry that this incident of taking too many vicodin had to happen, but maybe I would not have known about this Headache Clinic if it had never happened.
As far as the tension headaches go, I do exercise regularly. I walk my dog every day any where from 3-8 miles a day. It clears my head and I find it very peaceful just walking and taking in the sights. Every Friday for this past year, Spencer (my dog) and I visit alheizmer patients for an hour and on other days we visit veterans at a VA hospital.
One thing I have learned is that Meniere's disease and migraine headaches go hand in hand, and the weather plays a big part in how I am feeling.
Well, I'm totally exhausted and my left eye is killing me, so I will sign off. It's just so nice to have people who understand and can offer suggestions to help. I only hope that when all is said and down that I may be able to be a help to someone as all of you have been to me.
I'm taking the suggestions to turn off my daughter and not to let her treat me as badly as she does. Right now, she has contacted my husband and it actually going to bite the hand that feeds her. Maybe someday she will want to understand...if not, I cannnot change it.
I hope that you all have a good night and I'll check back tomorrow.
I just read all you post and I have a few concerns. First, I am not a doctor.
I re-read what you said happened and I dont think you took too many vics. and if you did, it was an accident. What concerns me is your BP being so high, the slurring, the memory loss. I dont want to scare you but it sounded like you had a "mini-stroke"... I am suprize that you MD did not look into this.
The second thing that concerns me is your doctor speaking to your Husband with out discussing it with you first. I am sure hubby is your p.o.c. (spokes person) but that only takes effect if you can not speak for yourself. I think inapprop. Hippa and all. Then, your BP is so blasted high!
Not suggusting you start with vic's for headaches because I think there are other meds that will do just as well... but I dont think your an addict either. That dosnt matter really, you know yourself.
If you came into my ER and you told me this story and your bp was that high..... I would have ordered a Cat-scan after bld work and got your pressure down to a more acceptable level. ALL this before you even seen the doc. SO, just a suggestion, if you experience the same symptoms.. vic or no vic, I would go straight to the ER and be evaluated properly.
I hope your monitoring your blood pressure now.... with you eye hurting you ..... well, If all this was happening to me, I would be getting a proper evulation.
Hope you feeling better,
Just my opinion...... I am not a doctor.
Blood pressure of 212/198 could have killed you. Not only is that high, but the numbers are so close together that it's really dangerous. I can't believe you weren't admitted immediately when they checked you. Sister is right. My pressure got just a bit higher than yours was and I did have a stroke. Thankfully I have recovered but I had the same symptoms as you. I couldn't speak in complete sentences for three months afterwards. This is a serious matter. Lots more serious than a few extra vics.
Regardless of it being out of line for your husband to contact the dr, forget about your daughter hassling you, the headaches aren't even the most important thing right now. It's your pressure that I am concerned with. Every symptom that was attributed to the vicodins was very likely due to the high blood pressure. Please check your pressure with a cuff. You can get one at walmart or walgreens. And follow up with this at the dr. Take care.
Last edited by Robert_325; 08-05-2008 at 07:45 PM.
how are you
How are you????? Could you pls post! I have to admit I am very worried about you. I will be looking for your post. I actually hope you sitting in a hospital somewhere getting proper treatment.
I will try a be patient a just wait till you post again.
I am praying for you.
Too Many Vicodin
Sorry to have you worry. I read all the posts again and as soon as the pharmacy opened this morning I went and bought a BP monitor. What you said about it being so high and what may have happened, made me realize that I really do need to monitor my BP everyday and keep a log. It's raining here today and we are in a low pressure and that is one of the triggers for my Meniere's and migraines. I wrote my doctor a note mentioning the possibility of my BP causing the slurring, memory loss and staggering. I have not heard back from him as of yet, but will let you know as soon as I do. I am know trying to figure out how to work the monitor, bought a small notebook to write down day, time and BP as a daily log. After I figure out how to work this, I will let you know what I get for a reading today. Since Monday, my doctor did double my BP pills and my daughter has not been around or called, so hopefully it will be better. If not, when do I need to worry? I don't know the first thing about BPs, I only know that mine is high and I take meds for it.
My son just left and we had a long talk about what happened, and it seems my daughter has already called all around letting people know that I am now addicted to vics. He also told me that while we were on vacation, that she actually went in my purse when I was not around and counted all my pills. A year ago she went off on me when I went to her house (as a favor) to wait for the cable company because I brought my dog with me. She wouldn't speak to me for weeks after that.
Yesterday I asked my husband if he would make sure that she does not come around for the next 2 weeks while my Grandson is at his Dad's. But I don't think that will be a problem, because she already has it in her mind that I'm a drug addict and probably won't have anything more to do with me. And if, it turns out that it was possible that I had a mini-stroke, she probably wouldn't believe that either.
This morning I woke up with another headache (probably TMJ kicking in from stress) and hubby just can't understand or believe that someone can have headaches daily. I'm just getting so tired of all this doubting. We've been together for 19 years and now all of a sudden he is calling me 2 times a day to see how I'm feeling.
Well, just wanted to let you know that right now I'm ok and will figure out this monitor. I'll post back when I get it right and give you the numbers.
I really appreciate your concern and thank you so much for giving me the push to get the BP monitor. Don't be worried if it takes me a while to figure this out and if I can't, a girl down the street works in the ER and I'm sure she will help me.
Post you later.
Too Many Vicodin
I don't mind sharing what my meds are. I used to take 90mg of Niphedipine and when I went to the neurologist at the Leahy Clinic, he changed that to 120mg Verapamil ER and let my primary care physician that he felt I should be off vasodiulators. I had been on the Verapamil for about 1 month by the time I went on vacation. When I say my doctor on Monday he told me to go home and take another and continue to take 2 a day and called in a new script for the same med but at 240mg and to come back on Monday to recheck my BP. I am also on Ammiloride (diurectic) for my Meniere's and take 1mg Valium 3 times a day for stress. Zomig (5mg) at onset of Migraine and if after 2 hours I can take one more. But the neurologist didn't like that I have been on the Zomig for more than 2 years and my script is for 30 a month. He told me that puts me at a high risk for a stroke and suggested that I only take one Zomig and if it does not help then to take the vic as needed. That is what I have done, I guess up until last Friday.
Yes, I did get a digital monitor and the pharmacist suggested that I bring it with me next Monday to be sure that their reading and the monitor readings coincide. Thanks for the tips on how to many times to take my BP. And I am going to keep a daily log. Also, when I see my doctor on Monday, I will ask him at what numbers I should be concerned.
Please don't worry about what I go through with my family. It's been a life long thing beginning with my mother and you would think that after 55 years I would be numb to the verbal abuse by now. My saving factor is my dog. When things get to much around here, I put his leash on him and walk until I'm no longer upset. He is my motivator and loves me no matter what. I took him at 1 year old with no discipline and trained him, got him Canine Good Citizen Certified and went the next step for acceptance for Therapy Dogs International so that we could go visit those who needed a lift. It not only help the patients, but helps me to feel better about myself and not to feel so useless.
Anyway, after our walk tonight, I will come home and take my first BP. I do know that I need to do it at least 15 minutes to 1/2 hour AFTER our walk. Once I get the numbers, I will post them and you can give me your feedback.
This place has been a Godsend for me. All of you are correct in the fact that I am pretty isolated and that there really is no one in my family who shows me any support. You should have seen it when I first got Meniere's. They finally got it when I had to make a decision to have surgery to remove the balance and hearing nerve on my right side. But now they want to blame the vics for me being dizzy and sick to my stomach. But I guess God has given this to me because I am much stronger than they are.
Well, enough is enough of this pity party. Watch for my post later tonight on my BP numbers.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here.
different times of the day
Just a little imput here........ It would not hurt to take you bp for now 4 times a day.... then after we are sure you not a walking stroke then you can cut it down to two times a day..... different time of the day would not hurt either.
But for now.... one hour after you take you bp meds and then 4 hours...... 8 hours and before you go to sleep.... the next morning ...before you get up.
this is close to how it would be done if you were under close observation by your DOCTOR... who I also have a problem with.
Very glad to hear from you.... I am not trying to scare you but that reading your Doctor got was off the wall and very dangerous.
And again thanks for posting back with us,
Too Many Vicodin
Ok, I did my first BP reading a couple of minutes ago and it came back as 139/105. I guess that's a lot better than the 212/198. But I'm guessing that it's still high?
Thank you sister for mentioning to check it 4 times a day just as it would be done if I was being observed by my doctor. Please believe me, that you did scare me enough that I went out and bought a cuff to monitor it myself. When my doctor saw the numbers he said that it was probably because I was so upset and had been for 3 days.
I just got back from a 2-1/2 hour with Spencer and we tried to keep a wild deer from crossing a very busy intersection. I let Spencer off leash to chase him in the opposite direction and than did my recall. Like a good boy, he came back and while waiting for animal control to come and catch the deer, we just sat on a stone wall and meditated. If it were not for my dog, I truly believe that my levels would be much higher.
Hubby came home early today (2:30) and I felt like he was checking up on me, but if that's what he wants to do I can't stop him.
I have not heard back from my doctor regarding all the printed info I gave him on the NeuroHealth clinic. And in my note to him regarding this clinic, I also mentioned my BP being so high on Monday. Nothing as of yet. Here I live so close to Boston and the supposedly best doctors around and it doesn't feel like it right now.
I have a lot to do tomorrow, so please don't worry if you don't hear from me until later in the day. I'll give you the BP numbers tomorrow. And if I hear from my doctor, I'll keep you updated on what he had to say.
Until tomorrow. Good night and thanks again for being so helpful and supportive.
Still way too high but could be your due for meds.. would need more information but that is not an acceptable number. You want the bottom number below 80, your still hypertensive..good luck dear.
Originally Posted by july_7
I just sit here and cry over how your family treats you. My husband is much the same. I'm lucky that my daughters, teenagers, are much more understanding.
I want to tell you a story, ok?
7 years ago I started having severe stomache pain and vomiting. I went to a doc and he couldnt find anything wrong. As I had recently taken a job with the state ed dept, he assumed it was stress and gave me xanax and zoloft.
I took my meds for months, but continued to be sick. I went back to the doctor, who treated me like I was insane for complaining of a 'tummy ache' as he called it. He sent me to a new doc who ran a few more tests, but still treated me as if it were in my head.My husband called me a hypochrondriac for years.... I continued to lose weight, stay in the most severe pain Ive ever had and continued to llok for a doctor to help.
Blood work showed little. Ultra scans showed nothing. I continued to get sicker and sicker.
My husband tried to have me comitted, said that I was doctor shopping. At the time, the only drugs I was on was zoloft- they had even cut out the xanax. I was never given pain meds.
This went on for 18 months, until the day I was shopping with my kids in another state while visiting my sister and collapsed. I was taken to the er by ambulance. My husband was at a motorcycle rally and when he was alerted by the nurse, he told them to release me- I was 'an idiot'.
Thank god this doctor was listening. They did an MRI and for a mass the size of a coke can in my stomache near my colon.
I was prepped for surgery under the impression that I had cancer. I didn't know what would happen when I came to.
Long story short, what I had wasnt hypochrondria. it was a badly rupured appendix that was infected. Luckily, the infection was contained. I lost a bit of my colon and was in the hospital for a good week.
I will never forget that I was RIGHT. I knew something was wrong with me, and my husbands meddling and determination to ignore me and belittle me nearly cost me my life.
Always trust yourself and what you know about what you need. Its hard, I know.
I am so glad you have your dog. I have two, and the save me every day.
Have a blessed day.
Too Many Vicodin
Hi Money_Chick and Sister,
I have finished my errands and wanted to touch base with everyone. First, Money_Chick, thank you for sharing your experience. I have always known that I'm not the only one being treated badly by family, and I am so sorry that you too had/have to go through this. Again, this morning, hubby asks how I am feeling and if I still have a headache. When I tell him the truth, which is "Yes" the response is, "I just don't believe that anyone can have a headache every day!" Then goes off to work. I settled down from that remark and took my first BP of the day at 7:00. It was 147/88. Then I took my BP meds and at 11:00 took another reading, this one was 139/91. Now I will wait until 8 tonight to take it again and then before I go to bed.
Hubby came home around 10:30 to check up on me and I showed him an article that he claimed to have read, but missed the part that states that people can and do have headaches daily. A lot of good that did me.
Tomorrow Spencer and I will go and visit with the Alzheimer's patients and that should lift my spirits a bit. I get a lot out of the visits and doing this makes me feel less worthless.
I don't mean to keep hopping on my family and their lack of support, but I just cannot understand why they can't show a little compassion. I still have not heard back from my doctor regarding the NeuroHealth Clinic. Maybe it will be discussed at Monday's appointment??? Anyway, I did ask my husband if he would go with me to the NeuroHealth Clinic if my doctor gives me a referal. His answer was that as long as it doesn't interfer with his work. I probably should have known the answer before asking as when I was scheduled to go to Lahey Clinic, I asked if he could come then. But again, it would have interferred with his work, so I went alone. I do that a lot, going to doctors alone, because he just doesn't have the time. When I have to go up to Boston to Mass Eye and Ear, I go alone and have for more than 7 years. If I get the referal, I'll probably ask my best friend if she can come with me. It seems like he wants me to do this and that, but isn't willing to follow through with me. Yes, he thinks I'm a hyprochondric (sp) too.
Do any of you sometimes think about just running away because you really have nothing at home? I know it's not the answer because eventually you have to stop, but there are days when that's all I want to do.
While walking Spencer this morning, I stopped, sat down and just hugged him and cried because I knew that he wouldn't turn away.
Nevertheless, my daughter has not tried to contact me and I'm really going to see if my BP goes down with her out of the picture. Also, be assured that on Monday I'm going to ask my doctor why he let me leave his office with my BP being so high. I have never doctor shopped. My last doctor I had for more than 20 years and the only reason that I no longer see him is because he quit private practice and now works in a hospital and does not see individual patients. So I wouldn't even begin to know how to find another doctor who may be better for me than my current one. I wouldn't know the first step to take.
Well, it's now noon and time to take Spencer for another walk. I'm hoping to hear from my doctor, but regardless, I will post again later to let you know that I'm doing OK (mentally).
You guys have been so kind, I don't know where to begin to thank you for taking the time and interest in helping me.
My daddy died last year, at the young age of 60. He has been married to a miserable ************************* (his words..lol) for years... He told me on his death bed, and I quote direcctly "Life is too short, baby. Dont live it with someone who makes it too F*&king long."
Good advice, isnt it?
Since I've been trying to get clean I've been doing alot of thinking. At 38 I have only about 20 years left of good life. My family isn't long lived. My motehr died when she was only 34. Daddy at 60. How will i spend those 20 years?
I've have cried rivers in the last two weeks. I just can't stop.
I am grieving. I have given this man 19 years of my life, and I have asked for not one thing. I've never wanted anything. No new hoiuses, no fancy cars or jewelry. I just wanted him to care for me and take care of me like I do him.
I will never have that. Never.
Saturday I had a horrible day. I just couldn't stop crying. I simply went to my room and put in a movie and laid with a towel over my face and cried quietly. I did my chores, and tried to rest and get myself together. By 5 when I felt no better, he came in and told me that I was retarded.
I told him I was hurting, that my heart just ached because I wanted him to be happy, and I couldnt make him happy. I told him I needed a man to love me, to support me, for me to lean on.
He told me that wasn't the kind of marriage he wanted.
I asked him to leave.
I'm trying to deal with the fact that if I want to enjoy the next years of my life, I have to do it alone. I have to let the desire to fix it and please him go.
I would think that much like me, you have put yourself last. You've always put the kids, the husband, the home, before yourself and by doing so its made it easy for them to forget you have needs too that aren't being met.
I can't tell you what to do, and you are a grown woman. You know what would be best for you. But remember this.
Life is short. Dont be with anyone who makes it too long.
Hope your day is blessed, and I hope youre feeling well on next report. And thank you for letting me talk...
Too Many Vicodin
Thank your for sharing what you have been going through as far as not getting any support from those who we rely upon the most. Your Dad's quote is so appropriate. You still have a ways to go to find that happiness and support you so deserve. Mine is a little harder as I'm 55, cannot work due to vertigo attacks and I don't have much faith in myself or that I am a good person.
I'm going to keep this short, as I am alreay exhausted and want nothing more than to go back to bed. Again I woke up with a headache, and when hubby asked, I said yes, but it was going away. NOT! I just can't take the looks and jabs, so I'll tell him what he wants to hear. I have a lot of things to discuss with my therapists on Monday regarding this relationship. Anyway, I got up at 6:30 to see hubby off to work (have been doing it for 19 years) and at 7:00 I took my first BP of the day (before meds). It came back as 134/97. I'll set my alarm for 11:00 which will be 4 hours after my meds to see what that comes back as.
I really hate to cut this short, but it's hard to read the computer screen and things are spinning (vertigo due to being in an extreme low pressure and rain on the way).
Please don't worry, I'll post back in a while.
I say........... get your butt to the ER. You are in a hypertensive crisis. Wish I could type more to convince u....... if it was me I would... your a time bomb, walking stroke waiting to happen.. and you dont have the support.
Originally Posted by july_7
Sister, is that reading she posted earlier too high? Mine is usually in that range with my meds...
Originally Posted by money_chick
Damn girl ... tell us how you really feel. LOL Just joking. I feel the same as you actually. Just want to reply to one thing you said. My paternal grandparents both passed away by age 62, my dad barely made it past 70. My brother made it to 26 and had a heart attack. My maternal grandparents did not live to see 70. I don't plan to be a repeat and none of them abused themselves like I have. You aren't done at 38. Don't say you only have 20 years left. You may have to start over at 38 and I know from my own experience that sucks. I did the exact same thing as you, same age, a very similar situation to yours except for the gender difference. I took care of everyone in my wife's whole family and they all, her included, just took me for granted. Made me physically ill. I can really relate to what your dad said because I told my wife that I was not going to die in the crummy little town we lived in Oklahoma being a servant to her family and not even get any respect for it, life is just too short to be miserable. And it's a whole lot better to be miserable alone than to have someone adding to the misery. You have a great life left ahead of you. You are funny, bright, you will turn things around just fine. It will likely just take you a while. But you will be fine I know. God won't leave you stranded as long as you look to Him for help and direction.
July ... know you are reading this. If you don't get control of your emotions you are going to have a stroke. You have to chill. You're not worthless. money-chick is right ... God made us and everyone is perfect. All people have to be encouraged a little bit, relationships have to be nurtured. People have to be treated with a little care and then most everyone will do well. You can't slam anyone day after day and expect them to be positive. I really hate the way people who are so close to you distance themselves so much from you. That is really sad.
Your last blood pressure reading of 134/97 is still too high considering the dose of Verapamil you are taking plus a diuretic. That all affects your BP and while it isn't stroke level now the bottom number should be down under 90 at least. The 134 is not too awful bad, just a little high. But it all should be perfect with the meds you are on. The Nifedipine 90mg is a strong dose in itself. That is what I take daily. You are taking about double the dose of Verapamil AT LEAST of what most people with hypertension take. That bothers me IF you still have HBP while taking it.
Let us know how you are doing tonight. I hope things settle down for you some soon. And we all like you. Don't let anyone make you believe that you are anything less than the obviously warm and caring person you show yourself to be.
Too Many Vicodin
Hi Sister and Money_Chick,
I just did my BP reading after 8 hours of taking my BP med and it came back at 118/81. Doesn't it seem that the numbers are coming down?
Foolish me, remember today when I mentioned that I told hubby that I had a headached but it was going away? I only hurt myself and suffered horribly most all of the day. At 12:00 I broke down and took 1 vic, but it didn't do a thing. Hubby came home at 2:30 and I told him that I was going to lie down because my head was killing me. I darkened the room, shut the door and cried because I was hurting so much. Finally I went back down stairs and just took the 2nd vic at around 5:00. Totally sick to my stomach from being in pain.
Earlier today, I called my doctor to find out what he thought of my going to the NeuroHealth clinic. He stated that he had never heard of the facility, but did read all the literature I dropped off and said that he would gladly send a referral to go. I set up the appointment for Tuesday, September 9. I then asked hubby if he could go, and he said, "Let me check my calendar to see if I have anything planned." As it was, and at this time, he doesn't. But things change with him all the time. I do know for a fact that he was not happy at all for me taking 2 vics today. Barely spoke 2 words and then left for his AA meeting.
Also, while talking with my doctor, I told him how sick to my stomach I was and he called in a prescription for Promethazine (25mg) which I just took a little while ago. I looked it up and it is in the same family as a sedative, so maybe it will help with my headach.
Sister, I cannot promise to go to the ER at this point, but do promise that if I see the numbers climbing, I will get there and bring my log with me.
Money_Chick, your kinds words really meant a lot to me. I do try to be a good and caring person and to try and help others when asked. But all my life I heard that I was no good, would never amount to anything, and the best one was after my older sister died, my mother actually came up to me and said these very words, "It should have been you not Karen." I had always known that this woman didn't like me and I tried so hard just to please her, but finally admitted defeat and for the past 12+ years I have not spoken with her or had any contact. But that's in the past and I have moved on with my life without her in it. But boy, it certainly seems like I always choose people in my life who have never really supported me.
Well, I think that I will try and get some sleep and look forward to a better day tomorrow. And believe me, if my head hurts like it did today, the heck with hubby and his jabs, scowls and ignorance, I am not going to put myself through this just to make him happy.
You guys are the best and I am so glad that I have found a very supportive and open group to be here when no one else seems to.
I still have a long weekend to think about things and to talk with my conselor with on Monday. I'll post my numbers tomorrow and touch base to see how everyone is doing.
Good night and sweet dreams.
Oh, July, I struggle so much with being worthwhile... when I was a kid, around 6, my daddy left. I remember that day and always will. My mother packed my things, shoved me out the door with him and told him to take "ALL his ******************** if he was leaving." She then shut and looked the door and my daddy... well, he was actively using >>>>>> at the time and made me stay.
I sat on that damn doorstep all night crying. I swore when I had kids, no one would do them that way.
Its funny how we choose our mates, isnt it? I dated wonderful men, but at 17 I had a bad wreck and was injured pretty bad. When i got out I met my husband who was 8 years older than me. He took care of me, was charming and I thought I had really gotten lucky.
Well, I guess I did, cause he waited till a month after the wedding to hit me the first time.
Why on earth do we do the things we do? I'm educated; people respect me. I'm up to run for mayor next term and I owned my own brokerage for several years.
Yet when that man is around, I'm still the little girl on the doorstep.
I have learned to keep that part of my life seperate from who I am. Those are his problems, not mine. I can't take the responsibilty for them. Every night I sit down here at this computer and I journal the good things about myself. I'm funny. I'm very attractive. I have a great laugh and use it often. I have great kids that I alone raised. I run a good household, and I have friends who love me. I'm loyal and caring and... you get the picture.
I encourage you to do the same things. Pat yourself on the back, in writing. Tell yourself how great you are. Ignore small people who take their power by hurting you. That is their flaw, not yours.
Too Many Vicodin
Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm sorry that I did not respond yesterday, but it was a pure day of hell. After having a headache for a good portion of the day, I finally asked hubby for a vic (around 2:30 pm). What do I get? "You can't even go one day without a pill. And I still don't believe that anyone can have a headache for 5 days straight." I was dumbfounded and at a total loss of words. Finally, I spoke up and told him that I didn't need to hear his jabs and perhaps he was not the right person to be in control of my meds. With that, he threw the bottle at me and said, "Take care of yourself." I told him to just go, please just go. I cannot keep trying to defend myself from someone who has no compassion or tolerance. He thought it was a good idea and got in the car and left. Now all morning he had been at my daughters house helping her with a furniture delivery and I had done my week's shopping in the morning. (I have found that because of the Meniere's disease and being deaf in one ear, that when I go when the stores first open, I don't get confused by a lot of background noise).
A little while later he came back and apologized and said that he was just worried with my history of pills. OK, I can accept that, but he is the one who offered to help until I'm seen at the NeuroHealth Clinic and I don't need to hear this since I'm so down on myself as it is.
I took the dog for a walk (I do my best thinking while out walking with Spencer) and when I got back I asked him why he had to react like he did. I told him that he could have suggested taking 1/2 to see if that took the edge off. Now we're coming up on the 2nd week of my Grandson being at his Dad's and I asked hubby if my daughter mentioned what she is going to do about his before and after school care. He said that he didn't know but I should find out when I call her this week! I told him that I will not call her and then another argument. He feels that I need to call and make amends to her. It may sound pig headed of me, but I am NOT calling her. Why should I? To hear her preach her better than me. Did I happen to mention that while on vacation I had to go out and buy her 2 bottles of Children's Benadryl because she said unless she takes that, she cannot sleep. I asked her how long has she been doing that and come to find out about 2-3 years. Hubby said that was OK because it is not a prescription but can be bought over the counter. She claims to be self righteous (sp) but constantly lies to my Grandson about smoking cigarettes. And what ever else she wants to keep from him.
Well, because I missed giving them to you yesterday, here are my BP stats:
6:10am - 128/90 (B4 meds)
10:55 am - 120/84 (4 hours after meds)
8:00 pm - 143/93
Tonight I'll post today's stats. Tomorrow I am taking Spencer to get groomed, going to my therapist and at 4:45 am seeing my doctor. Full day ahead of me.
First thing hubby asks this morning, do you have a headache. I'm going to get one if he keeps asking. Not feeling all that great. While walking Spencer this morning, I felt light headed and sick to my stomach and just generally weak all over. So, it's not 12:20 in the afternoon and I'm going to lie down.
Hope everyone is doing fine and again, I'm sorry for not posting yesterday, I figured that you all needed a break from my little pity party.
someone pleez help .Ivwe been takin 16 750 vics a day for a year now i quitin cold turkry IMONLY ON DAY TOO AND IM STARTIN TO SHAKE VOMIT ECT... IM NOT TAKIN ANYTHING AND I WANT TO F@#$%IN SCREAM PLEASE HELP WITH ADVICE