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Tired of the Games...May Try Suboxone...Need Help Please!
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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Default Tired of the Games...May Try Suboxone...Need Help Please!

    Hello everyone,

    I have been lurking on this forum for quite some time and finally decided to join tonight. I feel like I already know so many of you. The amount of love, support, and knowledge here absolutely amazes me! My story is like so many others here and basically I am so sick (of myself) and tired of living this type of life any longer. It's way past time to change things. A little info to help anyone willing to offer me some help...

    My name is Karen and I am a 30-year old female. I have been an addict for about 7 years. My DOC has usually been Vicodin, Oxycodone, Percocet, and others of the same type. But I have tried every other drug that was offered to me in times of need, which was usually ALWAYS! In the past year I have been taking about 20-10mg Percocets per day! Or a total of 200mg's of that along with other stuff if I could get it. Many days I would consume up to 400-500mg's of garbage. Like the title of this thread says, I am TIRED OF THE GAMES! I have hit rock bottom. I have a college education and a great job and I am at the point of really getting myself in trouble.

    I have the full support of my boyfriend, along with my parents and several non-using friends. I have tried so many times to quit and always relapse. The cravings do me in EVERY time! I have heard and read that with the use of Suboxone it many times ends those cravings. Sounds like it was meant for people like me. I have read thread after thread and post after post on this forum and feel real confortable if I were to choose the Suboxone. I am at that point right now. I have tried the cold turkey approach so many times and like I said, the cravings make it impossible for me to continue past the first day!

    I have read Robert_325's induction and taper plan many times. It is very well written and makes it almost seem simple to do. I have already called several Suboxone doctors in my area and have found one that can see me tomorrow (Monday) if I choose to go that way. All I need to do is to call him in the morning and can go in right away. In all of my reading of this forum I have learned that MOST doctors induct their patients on entirely way too much of this drug. I will NOT allow that to happen to this girl! I will ONLY use this drug the right way. And Robert_325 if you read this I would be honored for you to help me, or maybe advise me along the way? I have read that you only require those in your care to simply follow your directions to the letter. I will make you a promise right this minute that if you are so kind as to get in my corner I will NOT dissapoint you in any way, shape, or form! I will do EXACTLY as you say 100% of the time. I will of course gladly accept the help of anyone else here as well. I only mentioned Robert_325's name as it seems he is the bona-fide expert with this drug!

    I am sorry for the long post, but wanted to give as much detail as I could with my first post. I can't believe that I didn't do this much sooner. Like I said I have been reading here for a very long time and wish every single one of you the very best in your efforts to be drug-free. And to those of you that ARE drug-free I wish you continued success. I need help, support, and encouragement. I will sincerely appreciate any that may have the desire to help me in ANY way that they can. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this!

    Karen

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    Lam34fus51 is offline Member
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    Karen - it's sounds like you are off to a great start - reading and researching! I'm only 41 days clean - so I have no expertise only encouragement :-) my only advice is to be mentally prepared to quit and stay strong ---- you can do it!!
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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Hello Lam34fus51,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Means so much to me as I attempt to make a move towards a new life of being clean! Congratulations to you for being on day no. 41 clean. I can only hope to be where you are at some point. I am really frightened right now as I am thinking of going the Suboxone route.

    I took some Percocet this morning and know that if I am going to be actually using the Suboxone that I need to be in withdrawals first. So I am doing my very best to not take any more of anything. I am really shaky right now as the withdrawals have begun to show their ugly self. I know what is store for me as I have tried to quit so many times previously. This is going to be a very long night for sure!

    I did print out the induction and taper plan from Robert_325's post here and I also know about the COWS sheet and score. I am hoping that if I do decide to go to the Suboxone doctor in the morning that he will just give me the meds and I can induct myself right here with help from many of you guys?

    And if I don't use the Suboxone method then I will have another beginning with the cold turkey approach, again. That has NEVER worked for me before as I said previously and assuming it won't this time either. I do have many narcotics in my possesion right now and I am thinking of just "flushing" them to cut off all ties to them. I have already deleted the numbers of any contacts to get more, and no doctor would give me any either. Actually glad of that! I have also informed ALL of my friends that if they want to continue to be friends with me then they had better NOT ever mention using again, with me!

    So that's where I'm at right now. I am leaning towards using the Suboxone as it seems to be my only choice. Hopefully Robert_325 or some of the other experienced Suboxone users will see my thread and post. Thank you again for posting and stating to me your position in this matter. I wish you much success and will be in your corner always!

    Karen

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Well I made it through the night (was a rough one) without using again. Shaking so bad I can barely type this. Getting ready to call the Sub doctor and go in and see him. I just don't believe that I can continue with this cold turkey approach again. I have failed so many times in the past with it. Maybe the Subs will make the difference this time. I will do my best to post again when I return.

    Karen

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strong Desire View Post
    Well I made it through the night (was a rough one) without using again. Shaking so bad I can barely type this. Getting ready to call the Sub doctor and go in and see him. I just don't believe that I can continue with this cold turkey approach again. I have failed so many times in the past with it. Maybe the Subs will make the difference this time. I will do my best to post again when I return.

    Karen




    Karen ...... I'm here on and off daily. Just give me the word and I'll be happy to help with the subs. Wish I could induct you myself so I knew you got off on the right start! Stay in touch and let me know how I can help you. God bless.
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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Robert! I was hoping and praying so much that you would stop by. Thank you so much for taking your very valuable time to offer me the help that I'm certain I am going to be needing. I called the sub doctor and I am going in later this morning. I told him on the phone that I was in withdrawals, but not enough to begin the sub right away. He told me on the phone exactly what I wanted to hear....that he would just give me the script and I could do it on my own! Perfect right?

    So when I get back with the subs I will post right away and ask you to help me get started. I do have the COWS sheet ready and know all about needing to score a 26 BEFORE taking that very first dose. I learned this from reading so many of your posts! Thank you again so much for replying! And let me say once again that I will promise to do EXACTLY as you suggest. Bless you Robert and talk to you soon!

    Karen

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Karen .... yes, his reply was perfect. When you go in take all the meds he will prescribe. Just nod yes when you're supposed to and keep your mouth closed as much as possible. If you get enough medication sometimes we can do this with only one dr visit. What time is your appt? I have some work in the yard to do today and wanted to be around when you get online. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Robert,

    My appointment is in about an hour from now. He told me the appt. would take about an hour of examination and filling out some paperwork. He told me I needed to wait 3-4 days before taking my first dose. I told him that made sense and would see him soon.

    I will do just as you suggest and get as many of the subs as he will give me. Nothing would make me happier than to not need to go back to him again. I have great insurance, but he will NOT accept it....only cash! So lets say I should be back on in about 2 hours from now. I will post the minute I return home. Thank you again so much Robert.

    Karen
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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strong Desire View Post
    Robert,

    My appointment is in about an hour from now. He told me the appt. would take about an hour of examination and filling out some paperwork. He told me I needed to wait 3-4 days before taking my first dose. I told him that made sense and would see him soon.

    I will do just as you suggest and get as many of the subs as he will give me. Nothing would make me happier than to not need to go back to him again. I have great insurance, but he will NOT accept it....only cash! So lets say I should be back on in about 2 hours from now. I will post the minute I return home. Thank you again so much Robert.

    Karen




    Cool! I'll be looking for you. Doesn't sound like you're freaking out yet in detox so we need to get you to a 26 score on the COWS worksheet first anyway. I know you had a rough night but a true 26 will have you about ready to bite my head off! lol

    Just take your time and we will have you clean in sixty days or thereabouts including the subs if you do exactly like I ask you. And I will have you feeling great in a few hours when we do the induction be it today, tonight or whenever. I don't see it being too long away.

    I believe this is going to go well. I have never blown an induction, you'll be starting on a minimal dose when we do the induction. You won't believe how much so little subs will help you. God bless.
    caughtagain, MP5, surfdog and 2 others like this.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

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    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    karen follow roberts instructions and you will do well, and you didn't lurk, u were doing research lol hang in there girl you are going to do well gotcha back for you God Bless Surfdog

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    Cool! I'll be looking for you. Doesn't sound like you're freaking out yet in detox so we need to get you to a 26 score on the COWS worksheet first anyway. I know you had a rough night but a true 26 will have you about ready to bite my head off! lol

    Just take your time and we will have you clean in sixty days or thereabouts including the subs if you do exactly like I ask you. And I will have you feeling great in a few hours when we do the induction be it today, tonight or whenever. I don't see it being too long away.

    I believe this is going to go well. I have never blown an induction, you'll be starting on a minimal dose when we do the induction. You won't believe how much so little subs will help you. God bless.

    I'm back home now Robert. I should not have been driving! Lol. Having a terrible time right now as my symptoms are really giving me the business. I have been through this so many times trying to go cold turkey that it just seems to be somewhat normal if that makes sense.

    Made it through my appointment with that doctor. He wanted me to take 16mg's right then and there! I just told him that I felt ok and wanted to wait until I got home before taking my first dose. I was able to get 60 - 8mg Suboxone pills from him! He told me to just take 2 of them (16mg) every day and to come back in one month! Most of these doctors are just as you have always said....they know NOTHING about this med!

    My score on the cows sheet right now is about 20. And that is a real HONEST score Robert! I know you have always said to score yourself honestly as it will make the difference when that first dose is taken. So I will keep posting my progress as my score goes up. Hopefully it won't be too much longer! I am ready to pull my hair out right now! Lol.

    Thank you again so much for taking the time to help me. I just can't thank you enough already for what you have done. You have helped so many people here and I for one will NEVER forget it either! I will do EXACTLY as you say just as I have promised you! So talk to you again real soon. Bless you Robert!

    Karen
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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfdog View Post
    karen follow roberts instructions and you will do well, and you didn't lurk, u were doing research lol hang in there girl you are going to do well gotcha back for you God Bless Surfdog

    Hi surfdog! I have been reading your posts as well. You are really awesome! Very nice to meet you here. Thank you so much for your concern and I WILL follow what Robert suggests to the letter! I will talk with you again real soon ok. Feeling miserable right now and going to just lay down a bit. Thanks again!

    Karen

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Karen ...... He gave you sixty 8mg? lol That is awesome, you just made your last dr visit. I can get anyone clean with sixty 8mg subs. That is crazy! But it's a good crazy as you won't have to deal with him anymore and we are set for the whole taper!

    If you're an honest 20 right now I would say that you're looking at around two hours at least before hitting a 26, could be a little longer but not too much. Those numbers tend to increase pretty rapidly once we get into the 20s, but we want to be sure. I would rather have you be a 28 than a 23! The difference in results would be monumental in the induction.

    I am going to go do some work in my yard for a couple hours. Heat index is over 100 so I know I'll be back in for water and I'll check on you. Just sit tight and KNOW that I'm going to have you feeling absolutely perfect TODAY!!! And once we begin it will only take a few hours max. Hang in there. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    I am sitting here crying at your reply Robert. I believe everything you say. Yes he gave me (60) - 8mg pills of Suboxone. Great to hear that I won't need to ever go back to him! I certainly don't want to keep you from your yardwork. Just reply when you get the time and I will deal with what I can until you finish up.

    First I have about 30 percocets here right now that I need to flush immediately! Don't want any temptations or reasons to go back to them. Hard to do that but it must be done right?

    I am at a 22 right now on the cows. I believe that the longer a person is on drugs, and the amount they have taken affects the way they withdraw. In other words because I have been addicted so long and taken heavy doses, my withdrawals hit really hard and fast! That's my opinion anyway.

    Thanks again Robert and looking forward so much to working with you.

    Karen

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Your numbers are moving up quickly. I'll check on you in just a little while, it won't be two hours. You're moving up faster than I thought. And yes, get rid of the percs. It will be a feeling of disbelief that you would do that and exhileration both at the same time when you see them twirling around going down the toilet. It's totally empowering to do that and I commend you for making that choice on your own! Talk soon. God bless.
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    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    Agree with Robert 1000 percent about the pills being around.. The mental games that go on when we have pills around is just not worth it. Karen, you have a ton of people cheering you on and know we have all been there in some capacity, which is nice because we all understand and just know that we are rooting you on. I never went the SUB route, but in three years being on here, I have seen it first hand and if you follow it to a tee, it flat out works on a side note... POST and POST often. use this as a journal that can help you. As time goes on, you can look back at these early hours/days and see the progress you HAVE made... the added bonus is will most certainly help another person just by reading.
    All my best, Reid
    Last edited by caughtagain; 06-11-2012 at 12:52 PM.

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    I am firmly committed to this Robert! I want a new life of being clean. I know the subs are an opiate and therefore I must be off them to be really clean and it WILL happen. I just flushed the percs and you were so right....I had this very sad feeling as they disappeared followed by this overwhelming sense of relief!
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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by caughtagain View Post
    Agree with Robert 1000 percent about the pills being around.. The mental games that go on when we have pills around is just not worth it. Karen, you have a ton of people cheering you on and know we have all been there in some capacity, which is nice because we all understand and just know that we are rooting you on. I never went the SUB route, but in three years being on here, I have seen it first hand and if you follow it to a tee, it flat out works All my best, Reid

    Thank you Reid! I am well aware of your contributions to this forum. You have helped so many here with your wisdom and insight to the problems that many will face. If you read my first post I said that I have been reading around for quite some time. Feel like I already know you! Looking forward to more of your comments! Thanks again and take care.

    Much Love,
    Karen
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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Karen .... came in out of the heat. What are you scoring? Got to be close.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Robert,

    Hope you were able to get your yardwork done before it gets too hot for you. I am at a 24 right now on the cows. Feeling so jittery and all-around sickly. I know this MUST be done and I will be feeling better soon.

    I know from your past inductions that you begin at a very low dose and I have the 8mg pills. So I am going to try and cut them up into very small doses right now if I can. Shaking really bad so that might be a problem. Wish my boyfriend were here to help but he had to work today. I will check back in soon.

    Karen

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strong Desire View Post
    Hi Robert,

    Hope you were able to get your yardwork done before it gets too hot for you. I am at a 24 right now on the cows. Feeling so jittery and all-around sickly. I know this MUST be done and I will be feeling better soon.

    I know from your past inductions that you begin at a very low dose and I have the 8mg pills. So I am going to try and cut them up into very small doses right now if I can. Shaking really bad so that might be a problem. Wish my boyfriend were here to help but he had to work today. I will check back in soon.

    Karen



    Karen ........ Quarter one pill into four 2mg pieces. Crush one of the 2mg pieces into powder in case we need to tweak this into small amounts to get you just right. Use a card or business card and divide the 2mg powder into four equal .5mg piles. By the time you finish that take one of the .5mg piles under your tongue and post back to me in one hour and let me know how you feel. Just crease a card and pour the .5mg under your tongue. Be sure that you're hydrated, take a drink of water first and it will dissolve quickly. Talk soon. God bless.
    Last edited by Robert_325; 06-11-2012 at 01:55 PM.
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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Ok Robert will do just that. I hit a 26 right now anyway. Just to make certain that I understand you correctly the .5mg is 1/2 of 1mg right? Want to make sure I have it right?

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strong Desire View Post
    Ok Robert will do just that. I hit a 26 right now anyway. Just to make certain that I understand you correctly the .5mg is 1/2 of 1mg right? Want to make sure I have it right?


    Yes .5mg is half of 1mg but if you quarter that 8mg pill you'll have 2mg pieces. Don't double up on your doses! Just wanting to make sure you do this right! Talk with you soon. You'll need more but we need to allow ample time for that first little piece to do its thing to its full potential, then we'll add more. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Sorry Robert....not thinking to clearly right now.

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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert_325 View Post
    Yes .5mg is half of 1mg but if you quarter that 8mg pill you'll have 2mg pieces. Don't double up on your doses! Just wanting to make sure you do this right! Talk with you soon. You'll need more but we need to allow ample time for that first little piece to do its thing to its full potential, then we'll add more. God bless.
    Ok taking the first .5mg piece right now. I will get back to you in 1 hour as you request. Thanks again so much Robert for just being there.

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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    I understand! At a 26 you're in rough shape, that is why I wanted to make sure you understood completely. I sounded like I was talking down to you, I was just trying to make it as simple as I could as I have been right where you are right now with NO ONE to give me any advice. I know this can be confusing at first. God bless.
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    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Hey Strong you go get em girl, Robert will have you feeling right in no time and he is right. The docs don't know jack about subs except that it is good money. Ask my doc who Rx them about a detox protocol for my son she didn't have a clue, "just stop taking them "she said and we said good by.
    Oh before you pull the hair out check with bf might not want you bald!lol been there done that got the scars..
    Take care of yourself you have the most important thing right now WANT to, we cannot give that to anyone
    it has to come from inside. Robert will take good care of you! Follow directions and you will feel better shortly
    God Bless Surfdog

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    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Robert hey man another Dr. right at the forefront of medical knowledge right? lol Surfdog
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    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Karen ..... Can you tell any difference yet in how you feel?
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    Strong Desire is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfdog View Post
    Hey Strong you go get em girl, Robert will have you feeling right in no time and he is right. The docs don't know jack about subs except that it is good money. Ask my doc who Rx them about a detox protocol for my son she didn't have a clue, "just stop taking them "she said and we said good by.
    Oh before you pull the hair out check with bf might not want you bald!lol been there done that got the scars..
    Take care of yourself you have the most important thing right now WANT to, we cannot give that to anyone
    it has to come from inside. Robert will take good care of you! Follow directions and you will feel better shortly
    God Bless Surfdog

    I'll take it easy on the hair. Lol. And you're right....I do want this more than anything right now! I am willing to do what it takes to succeed this time. Don't want that life any longer, time for the change to take place!

    Karen
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