[hatepercslovepercs]

oh god.. i feel as if im burning up.. my body is so hot and my stomach hurts so bad.. my mind keeps saying to take take take.. it will make it go away or just learn to take 1 a day.. I wont ... im so scared..

[hatepercslovepercs]

im so sick... my body hurts so bad... DAMMIT its hurts to type and its only day 1

[mottam]

hplp:
OK - listen - let's get through this together.
The first 3 to 5 days are hell - I cannot lie to you.

However, you CAN make it. We ALL do if we try.

Here are some "tips" to get through the rough stuff:

First: If you have Xanax, TAKE THEM AS PRESCIBED! I am, by no means, a doctor. However, if you did get the Xanax from a "friend", please let us know the strength. Dependent upon that, we can get you through this.

Second: Take the vitamins that are a part of the "Thomas Recipe". If you do not have those vitamins, I found that at a minimum; take a good multi-vitamin (Centrum, etc.).

Third: Get some Imodium, if you do not have it already. Your stomach is going to mess with you for a few days - this WILL PASS!

Fourth: Get/take Advil as suggested on the bottle. It will NOT take away all the pain - it WILL help!

Fifth: Give yourself a break; some credit. You are going through a difficult transitional period. You will MAKE it - you will make it out ALIVE. DO NOT USE!

I am home right now. If you post, I will try to respond ASAP.

Listen - it is not the end of the world - it is the beginning of the end of your addiction. Fight this as if you are fighting for your very life. Think about it - you are fighting for your life.

You want a cyber/temporary brother -you have one.
Stay with this community - post and post often.
I clung to this site for the entire first week of w/d.

I am praying for you, and I am telling you - YOU CAN MAKE IT!

You have taken ALL the first right steps - keep going. The one thing I can promise you - life after using (after the w/ds are over) f-ing rocks! Go for it!

mottam

[hatepercslovepercs]

hi mottom-- i read your post .. the xanax was giving to me from my doc .25mg.. i guess the lowest as can be presc.. they are doing nothing..
i feel as im running fever but im not ... i keep bumping into walls ... im about to take a bath.. i dont think i can make it to pharm to get my sleep meds.. oh god .. it hurts .. i cant stop crying..
im so sorry

[CrissyBlueEyes]

You can do it! You can!! Just think of the w/d as your additicon in it's death throws, and you are killing it!

Yes it sucks! Yes it hurts, but it will pass. Pray, cry, scream, take 20 hot showers or baths...anything, minute by minute. You can do this! I am praying for you!

[BeavisMom62]

Hang in there, hun! You can do it. I'm sorry you are suffering so much. Hopefully the bath and a xanax will help some. I've also always liked Valerian root. Its an herb that you can get at any pharmacy or grocery store in the vitamin section. It is sorta like herbal valium. Not as strong, obviously but its helpful. and you can take alot more of it and not get addicted. Don't forget the immodium and at least multi vitamins and potassium. Good luck. You are stronger than alot of people. Also, don't forget to drink lots of fluids, water, juice, gatorade. Just take care of yourself like you have the flu. I like Crissy's analogy about killing your addiction. Your addiction is suffering and dying and you are going to kill it girl!

[mottam]

lphp:
I know it is NOT what you want to hear - but doing things "or way" never worked! So, while that maybe the lowest dosage of Xanax the Dr. can prescribe, don't increase it unless you speak w/ your doc. Maybe Robert can jump in w/ respect to Xanax and w/ds. I don't want to give uneducated advice. Xanax does come in higher dosages. I think it is unwise for us addicts, at this point, to continue to do it "our way".

That aside - let's work on the rest of the ******** going on. The first week or so, I was "all thumbs". That is, I could not even write my name to sign a check. THIS IS NORMAL. It does not last forever - please believe me.

Take those showers - hot as you can stand.

Please let us know what sleep meds were prescribed to you - members on this site can also help with that.

Remember: You are NOT going through this alone. We are all here for you. Post every five minutes if you have to - DO NOT USE! Listen, I'll bet, as short lived as it may feel when you post - you feel better for that short period of time. No one in your face - no one looking at you judgmentally, no bull********. Just people listening who have been/are still at the point in recovery you are at.


BlueEyes has it right: this is your addiction's last effort to get you back in its grip. Once you say" "******** you", once you say "NO!” you have kicked its ass.

Tell you addiction to ******** Off! You are in control now!
Again, the physical stuff WILL end!

10 minutes at a time...

Kindest Regards

[hatepercslovepercs]

I wish I was some fing celeb so I could be in some 5 star place. Oh it hurts. My head feels light n I can't stand up straight.

[hatepercslovepercs]

Mot I'm on ambien 10ng. Dammmm I can't believe this is only day 1.

[mottam]

lphp:

Hold on - it does get better.
I was in that same boat just a few weeks ago (2).

As someone who just went through this I can tell you this: When it is "over", when the physical w/d is done, it will be equivalent to a small, quasi-epiphany.

Yes, that is just the beginning of your new life. Post, and let’s get through the first step together. MANY people will read your journey and step in when you need them. I have experienced that first hand.

This is the weekend - probably the most difficult 2 days to be in w/ds. SO WHAT! I/we are here to help you through. As stated before, we don't know each other from Adam. However, you and I are so much alike - we are addicts. What you feel - we feel. Stay close to this community.

I keep all of you in my prayers.

Going for a quick swim - I will check back in shortly.

[hatepercslovepercs]

I can't stop crying. I can't stop.

[mottam]

OK - Ambien should work.

Remember - you won't die from lack of sleep.
Once you body and mind hits a certain point - you will "drop" and go to sleep.

Stick with your meds as prescribed. Take those hot showers, and walk if you can - even if for just 5 minutes.

You are not alone. I stress this because I think that is one of the scariest part of recovery - that feeling of going through it alone.

Post - you are not only ensuring your success at recovery, you are also helping mine.

I'll continue to pray for you. STAY STRONG - DO NOT USE!

[hatepercslovepercs]

I'm crying so much but also am happy. I could b in my car driving to go knows where begging for something.
I'm just so scared that I'm already freaking out on day 1.

[mottam]

hplp:
I cried every day for the first week. You are beginning to feel again. It is normal, it is OK. Ride it out - do not let the demon win.

Do you recall in high school or in a part of your life when a funny or really silly incident happened that made you laugh you almost pissed your pants? Everyone has had at least one of those moments. Replay it again and again in your mind.

Put on a classic comedy. Do not put on any News channels, do not put yourself in any situations that are stressful, do NOT watch movies or listen to ANY music right now that causes any emotion but laughter. It will work. TEMPORERY depression is a big part of w/d; recovery. Keep posting. Dump all of that on this site. Keep going - you are doing great. We are all proud of you.
It may not feel like it right now - YOU ARE WINNING!

[hatepercslovepercs]

I miss when I was sober when I used to get up early in the morning n just watch the sun rise. Also when me n friends would just drive n laugh n dumb stuff. Play our music n just get out in the street in middle of traffic n dance like rejects. LOL we were dumb but silly

[mottam]

OK - that's a start - hang on to that "dumb, but silly" memory.
That is what life was like before pills, and that is what life can be again.

Cool - right?!

You are WINNING - stay strong - DO NOT USE!

[magsj]

Dear Tara:

I have been away from the forum for a few weeks due to company, etc. I just read your thread and wanted to say "hi". I'm sending you all the positive thoughts I can muster! Good for you, you can do this. I know how scary this is but you sound very determined. I'll keep checking in on you......and cheering you on. I know what you are going through and I think you are wise to go cold turkey and get it done with. I won't go into my story right now, too long and involved, but I know how tough this is. Please know that I am thinking of you and wishing you great success!

mags

[mottam]

Tara:

How are you doing? Fine, I hope.

I am signing off to hang w/ the family for awhile. I will definitely log on in ~ 1.5 hours to see how you are doing.

Stay strong - STAY CLEAN!

[hatepercslovepercs]

Hey everyone ty so much I passed out sleeping n just woke up
I'm gonna take a hot bath n lay down


Tara

[hatepercslovepercs]

Day 1 coming 2 a close. Here is my X. Day 2 is coming. N I'm gonna get my butt kicked

[mottam]

Tara:
You are going to be fine.
Great job!

Take that hot bath, lay down.

I am going to be hitting the sack myself in a few - I have an early day tomorrow.

Keep posting when you have to. Stay strong - stay clean.

You are not alone in your struggle.

Your "brother"

mottam

Have a peaceful night.

[hatepercslovepercs]

half asllep. Nvm. Kim tying jk type I'll

[hatepercslovepercs]

I need more Xanax. Stronger. Please

[melinda7.5]

Hi hatepercs
I just wanted to jump in and say hi...It looks like mot is taking good care of you...he is giving you good advice...but just know were all here cheering you on...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[mottam]

hplp:
Really great job getting clean.
Again, I am not a dr., but I would not recomment taking more Xanax then prescribed. I would kinda like trading one bad habit for another.

You are on day 2 - that is awesome! You are beating this big time.


Sleep when you can, take the Imodium and Advil.
Don't worry if you can not eat for a few days - that was normal for me.

Drink lots of gatorade - it helps a lot.

Talk to you soon.

[mottam]

hplp:
Welcome to day 2.
Hopefully, you are getting some rest.
Hang in there - in a few days you will have your life back.

I am heading out for a couple hours to my son's game. I am looking forward to hearing from you later.
I know it is tough, TRUST ME, I know. It is SO worth the fight.
You said you wanted to get yourself back. You are - you are winning the fight. Think about how great it will be to be free again! Going through w/d cold turkey is a small price to pay.

Stay strong - STAY CLEAN.

Talk to you soon.

[hatepercslovepercs]

Somewhat good morning

thank you melinda aswell... (i have read your stories also and you are an inspiration to me also!)

I had a rough night last night.. everything under the sun hit me like a brick wall.. my emotions through the roof..
my sister came in to check up on me at 3am (i could have killed her as i just fell asleep an hour before )
she said i was shaking -- i feel bad cause i yelled at her and said "WELL NO ******** SHERLOCK IM IN F******* DETOX!" i just told her sorry and she has forgiven me if i stay away from the pills..
I swear those "little yellow banans" that is what i called my perc 10 .. are calling my name every moment.. every second..
but im here on day 2.. i wish it was day 8-- baby steps i guess

you guys are wonderful
Tara

[hatepercslovepercs]

I'm sick. So sick. This is crazy

I feel like I'm gonna pass out at some points

[hatepercslovepercs]

I don't think I can hold on.

[melinda7.5]

Hii hp
lets try to take this one minute at a time...and see what else we can do for you..are you with me???