[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by HenryNCBA

Hello Robert,
Just checking in. Well I made it to today and dosed at 12:00 for the .4 mg. Felt not that great until about 2 hours after I dosed then started feeling much better and by the time it was about 4 hours since I dosed I felt fantastic. So now all is well and I don't feel any symptoms what so ever. My next dose will be Sunday at noon for the .4 mg and my understanding is that will be my last and final one unless I take a sliver at which point I will start the 4 day skip over from that point on. Feeling pretty good right now and even treated myself to some Butternut squash ravioli. Pretty good stuff as that was the first time I tried that and I will definitely want to have that again. I know you love pasta as well and can appreciate good pastas.
I'll touch base again tomorrow.
I feel pretty good right now and am going to try and get a good nights sleep if I can to take advantage of feeling great.
Have a great evening my friend!

Henry

Henry ..... yes you know how I love good pasta. I also have an appreciation for someone who sets a goal and doesn't stop until they achieve it. You're the man! I am totally impressed and don't really know what else to say. Just keep me posted over the next few days leading up to Sunday.

This is where we seperate the men from the boys. I wouldn't ever lie and say this part is fun. But you make it straight through until Sunday and I guarantee you'll have so much momentum going that you won't give in for anything.

Remember that I've done this too and I remember the three day skip like it was last week. I kept waiting for the bad w/d symptoms and yeah I felt a few little ones on the last day. But it just wasn't anything all that bad. Honestly the two day part of the skipping was where I caved and took a sliver remembering I had no one helping me. Think I just got kind of scared doing it alone. I was winging it totally.

I will be watching daily for your posts. I am really excited for you buddy! You're almost ready to cross home plate. God bless.

[HenryNCBA]

Hello Robert,
I'm feeling pretty good today. Not as good as yesterday after I dosed but that is the drugs talking here saying to me "see I told you if you take more you will feel great". What the bad guys don't know is that was just a taper skipping days dose. This addiction thing is a strange animal in that I still think back to how good I used to feel while on the opiates but it is time to put that into history and move on to better things like seafood pasta my friend! I can't cave now as I am too close and came too far for this so it is a mission I can not fail in. Today I am feeling rather good with no pains and last night I even got a half way decent sleep and only woke up once the whole night. I will check in again a bit later. Have a wonderful day my friend!

Henry

[Robert_325]

Henry .... you know me. I'm positive and try to make them ALL great days if I possibly can just like you. We are both a lot alike in that respect. You have a great attitude making working with you an absolute pleasure.

By the way, there is a new girl on the forum, goes by "SickOne". We will be doing a re-induction with her as the dr messed her up. Can you imagine that??? LOL We're just waiting on her COWS score to get up to that 26 number. She is a ways off yet from now. Anyway I referred her to your posts and told her you would welcome any questions she may have. Just wanted you to know who she is if she posts to you so you could offer her some support too. I appreciate your help.

Stay in touch buddy! I can hardly wait to see you do that last dose and finish off the four-day skip. Can't even tell you how proud of you I am. God bless.

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Henry .... you know me. I'm positive and try to make them ALL great days if I possibly can just like you. We are both a lot alike in that respect. You have a great attitude making working with you an absolute pleasure.

By the way, there is a new girl on the forum, goes by "SickOne". We will be doing a re-induction with her as the dr messed her up. Can you imagine that??? LOL We're just waiting on her COWS score to get up to that 26 number. She is a ways off yet from now. Anyway I referred her to your posts and told her you would welcome any questions she may have. Just wanted you to know who she is if she posts to you so you could offer her some support too. I appreciate your help.

Stay in touch buddy! I can hardly wait to see you do that last dose and finish off the four-day skip. Can't even tell you how proud of you I am. God bless.

Hello Robert,
Just checking in. Doing pretty good considering. Woke up feeling a bit depressed. Had this strange dream last night that I died. Woke up only once though all night long so I was very happy about that. Only symptoms I am feeling is just sore legs and hips as it feels like muscle and bone pain but again the pain is about a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. Have a bit of symptoms of a cold but I know that is the opiates talking there wanting some more.
Two more days! Can't wait!

Henry

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by HenryNCBA

Hello Robert,
Just checking in. Doing pretty good considering. Woke up feeling a bit depressed. Had this strange dream last night that I died. Woke up only once though all night long so I was very happy about that. Only symptoms I am feeling is just sore legs and hips as it feels like muscle and bone pain but again the pain is about a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. Have a bit of symptoms of a cold but I know that is the opiates talking there wanting some more.
Two more days! Can't wait!

Henry

Henry ..... it's Sunday after church and I know this is scheduled to be the big day. I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on taking your last and final dose.

Hope things are going well today, however I do understand it's a challenge sometimes at this point. Let me know later how the day goes. I'm cheering for you dude! God bless.

[tired2]

Hi Henry,
So my friend did I read right today is the last and final dose That is so great.You have come a long way congratulations Henry!!! I'm very proud of you

I guess it will be my turn next.Robert is shooting for Christmas for my end date from the benzo's...I can only pray that will be the end of all the tapering I have been doing.

Well I hope so then Robert,Melinda you and I can meet and celebrate.

Well the Bears are playing like ******** it's pretty funny it's almost half time and all you hear are the neighborhood lawn mowers starting up one after another like a symphony.I can't help but laugh.
Talk soon,
Pam

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Henry ..... it's Sunday after church and I know this is scheduled to be the big day. I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on taking your last and final dose.

Hope things are going well today, however I do understand it's a challenge sometimes at this point. Let me know later how the day goes. I'm cheering for you dude! God bless.

Hello Robert my friend!
Well buddy I made it. I actually was really looking forward to this last dose not just to kiss this entire crude good bye but it also does help with the symptoms of w/d. Still have the leg and hips bone and muscle pain albeit very minor. Heck even that leg edema I have always been complaining about has dissipated so much that my legs look almost normal. It still pits just a tiny bit but nothing like it used to when I was on higher dosed. This is amazing Robert that you re-inducted me at only 1.25 mg and to think the doctor wanted what was it? I think it was 6 or 8 mg up to 4 times a day??? I can't really remember exactly what it was but it was some crazy number and I still remember when you said 1.25 mg period I though "what??????" Then when you said that you are going to get me stabilized with the absolute minimum about of sub to start this taper program that was when I knew just by those words you knew what you were talking about. I took everything you said completely on faith Robert and honestly I didn't even read other posts very much when I got onto this site. I just posted that I was new here and what I am going through and next thing I know here I am today. Already dosed my final .4mg about 25 minutes ago. I can tell you it feels good. I am sitting here at my desk at home and the sun is coming in through the window and I can REALLY feel the warmth of the rays. I don't mean just feel the heat but to REALLY feel it that it feels like I have been set free from a torturous prison I was locked up in for a long time. I will still keep in contact even after all this. Hey you made a friend in me and I don't make friends easily. I can't wait to see the look on my doctors face when I go see him again later this month. I will let you know what happens. I did give him this web address so I don't know if he is asking his patients to check out this site or not. I know I am certainly glad I stumbled on here.
I will continue to post though as I know it isn't over yet and even though this may be my last dose I will continue to feel side effects until my system figures out that this time it is the last time for real.
Have a great day my friend and hello to Melinda for me!

Henry

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by tired2

Hi Henry,
So my friend did I read right today is the last and final dose That is so great.You have come a long way congratulations Henry!!! I'm very proud of you

I guess it will be my turn next.Robert is shooting for Christmas for my end date from the benzo's...I can only pray that will be the end of all the tapering I have been doing.

Well I hope so then Robert,Melinda you and I can meet and celebrate.

Well the Bears are playing like ******** it's pretty funny it's almost half time and all you hear are the neighborhood lawn mowers starting up one after another like a symphony.I can't help but laugh.
Talk soon,
Pam

Hello Pam,
Hope you are doing well today. Yes today is my final dose and I would like to say thank you so much for being there for me every single step of the way and every single day. You have become a very close friend and I will always remember your kind, considerate, and thoughfulness and wonderful support. We will stay in touch even after all this is done. I don't make friends easily but I consider you as a close friend and would be honored if I could be one of yours.
That is a sure sign that a home team is losing if lawnmowers are starting up during half time Hopefully they will have a better second half.
Today is just beautiful out with no rain. Yesterday the air had a bite to it and they were predicting rain but with the sun out I think I will take my dog out to the hills out back and go hike around. She loves being outdoors and I bought one of those doggy back packs and she carries her own water, food, toys when we go out.
Have a wonderful weekend my good friend and I will be keep tabs on your taper.

Henry

[tired2]

Originally Posted by HenryNCBA

Hello Pam,
Hope you are doing well today. Yes today is my final dose and I would like to say thank you so much for being there for me every single step of the way and every single day. You have become a very close friend and I will always remember your kind, considerate, and thoughfulness and wonderful support. We will stay in touch even after all this is done. I don't make friends easily but I consider you as a close friend and would be honored if I could be one of yours.
That is a sure sign that a home team is losing if lawnmowers are starting up during half time Hopefully they will have a better second half.
Today is just beautiful out with no rain. Yesterday the air had a bite to it and they were predicting rain but with the sun out I think I will take my dog out to the hills out back and go hike around. She loves being outdoors and I bought one of those doggy back packs and she carries her own water, food, toys when we go out.
Have a wonderful weekend my good friend and I will be keep tabs on your taper.

Henry

CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You did it Henry...of course I always knew you would
Hey you already on my list of close friends.
The weather out here has been in the 70's and the sun is shining.I even took Riley for a walk today it was great!!!I'm not sure how much longer it will last but I'm enjoying it while it is here.No bite in our air for now anyway but it will come soon enough.
I wish I could take Riley hiking he would love that but, the creek and field will have to do for now.He doesn't mind as long as he gets out he is happy!!!
We will stay in touch even if you are done....I really proud of you my friend
Have a great evening,
Pam

[HenryNCBA]

Hello Robert, Pam
Thanks for the congrats!!! I guess I did make it after all. I know I will still feel some side effects until my system figures out that there will be no more opiates at which point it will eventually give up trying to convince me to go back on them but no way. I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your support and guidance and inspirations. I came stumbling along when I first happened upon this forum and in less than a couple months I am done and off the subs.
To any and all out there that may read my posts or have been following what I learned from my experience, and I hope you take this to heart, is first and foremost is that there are many folks that really know what they are doing and talking about. If you chose to listen to them and take their suggestions them my suggestion to you is to follow those instructions down to the letter. Cross every "T" and dot every "i" if they tell you to as it is for your own good and they are trying to help you. They have been there and done that and I was wise enough to pay attention and follow the guidelines as closely as I possibly could and I do not regret one second of it. When I first came upon this site I was a mess. Not as bad as many but also worse than some others. I was under the care of a doctor to boot but within just a few hours after getting onto this site I was stabilized and feeling great. From there it was smooth sailing with a few choppy waves but nothing I couldn't crash through. Let me rephrase that. Not waves but more like ripples as the waves were diminished substantially in size just by the fact that I listened and did as I was recommended to.
I will continue to monitor this forum and help where I can.
Robert, Melinda, and my good friend Pam I will never forget all the support and help you have given me. You have my trust, respect and friendship always. Again Thank You so very much!!!

Henry

[melinda7.5]

Hi Henry
I just wanted to tell you YOU ARE THE MAN ...You have worked hard my friend and now your all clean...
Congrats to you...
Have a great night...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi Henry
I just wanted to tell you YOU ARE THE MAN ...You have worked hard my friend and now your all clean...
Congrats to you...
Have a great night...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

Hi Melinda,
Thank you very much for all your support. I know I still have a bumpy road ahead of me until the subs are completely out of my system and my body gets used to not having any opiates in it. I expect that though. The hard part is done thankfully.
Thanks again and have a wonderful day!

Henry

[HenryNCBA]

Hello Robert,
Just checking in. Today is now day 4 being clean. I can't say it physically feels great but mentally I couldn't be happier. I figure I will feel some effects until my body figures out it is not getting anymore opiates, subs, or anything else it craves then it will stop trying to convince me to get back on them. I'm just taking Advil for the upper leg and hip muscle and bone pain. Nothing I can do for the depression. Anxiety which I am surprised is actually hitting in the form of micro panic attacks I just push through it although I feel like taking a ativan 1mg at times I don't want to get into the habit of taking a benzo. I also have 5mg valium which I probably would do better on although I don't think it really works on me but perhaps that is how I am supposed to feel. I can't wait until all these symptoms go away. More of a concern to me though is how Pam is doing. Nasty stuff that benzo taper.
By the way when we do get a chance for all of us to hook up it is my treat and it would be my pleasure and honor to treat you folks as it is the very least I can do for all the help and support you have given me.
Have a wonderful day my friend and I hope you are doing well.

Henry

[tired2]

Hi Henry,
I'm so happy you have made it to day four.Sorry to hear about about the micro panic attacks.I have become all to familiar with panic attacks along with many others from my ROLLER COASTER RIDE getting off the benzo's.
I tapered to 5mg of Diazepam last night and surprisingly I'm not feeling to bad...hope I didn't just jinks myself.I dropped to 8mg Tuesday and felt horrible yesterday.I actually called my daughter and asked her if I stood in the street would she just run me over.
I will be so happy when this is over and we are all celebrating with Robert and Melinda over his lasanga.
Hang in there my friend things will get better...you are in the healing phase now
Later my friend,
Pam

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by tired2

Hi Henry,
I'm so happy you have made it to day four.Sorry to hear about about the micro panic attacks.I have become all to familiar with panic attacks along with many others from my ROLLER COASTER RIDE getting off the benzo's.
I tapered to 5mg of Diazepam last night and surprisingly I'm not feeling to bad...hope I didn't just jinks myself.I dropped to 8mg Tuesday and felt horrible yesterday.I actually called my daughter and asked her if I stood in the street would she just run me over.
I will be so happy when this is over and we are all celebrating with Robert and Melinda over his lasanga.
Hang in there my friend things will get better...you are in the healing phase now
Later my friend,
Pam

Hello Pam,
I don't think you jinked yourself. You are tapering down and it seems perhaps that your system is starting to say "okay okay you win" and hopefully is caving in to quitting. I hate to think what your daughter said but I wouldn't let you do that anyway. Remember that we made a promise to watch after each other so you are not allowed to do something like that regardless. I am hanging in there with this being clean. I know it will take time but hey no pain no gain and besides the worst is over for me. I just have to now deal with the residual effects I would think. Now I can concentrate of getting you to that point also my friend. I am glad though that you are feeling better. That certainly helps your mindset. I noticed something about the panic attacks. When I feel one coming on I noticed that MEC is right there under my legs at my desk. It is as if she can sense something is coming up and she comes over from where ever she may be hanging out or playing and just lies down at my feet leaning against me. Lexi the doby is in her usual spot under my desk extension. I am suprised that they are not fighting being butt to butt like that under my desk but when you have over 250 pounds of dogs under a desk it is hard for me to even stretch my legs out. I wonder who owns who?
Have a wonderful day my friend and always remember that we are here for you.

Henry

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by HenryNCBA

Hello Robert,
Just checking in. Today is now day 4 being clean. I can't say it physically feels great but mentally I couldn't be happier. I figure I will feel some effects until my body figures out it is not getting anymore opiates, subs, or anything else it craves then it will stop trying to convince me to get back on them. I'm just taking Advil for the upper leg and hip muscle and bone pain. Nothing I can do for the depression. Anxiety which I am surprised is actually hitting in the form of micro panic attacks I just push through it although I feel like taking a ativan 1mg at times I don't want to get into the habit of taking a benzo. I also have 5mg valium which I probably would do better on although I don't think it really works on me but perhaps that is how I am supposed to feel. I can't wait until all these symptoms go away. More of a concern to me though is how Pam is doing. Nasty stuff that benzo taper.
By the way when we do get a chance for all of us to hook up it is my treat and it would be my pleasure and honor to treat you folks as it is the very least I can do for all the help and support you have given me.
Have a wonderful day my friend and I hope you are doing well.

Henry

Henry ..... I never doubted that you would make it. I'm really happy for you buddy! I mean that sincerely. It makes doing this so worthwhile for me when I get to see people like you and Pam as well as Tom, Reid, Craig, Jenny, Donna, Linda, Chris, the list goes on mostly of people you don't even know .... I could sit here and make a list that would blow you away of people I've watched get clean on this forum who are mostly all long gone from here today. I even found the love of my life here! Who would have thought that would happen when Melinda was getting clean here? All the hours I've spent here were worth just that alone many times over. Finding Melinda brought me out of isolation and today my life is a joy simply because of her.

It's a great feeling just to know I had a small part in the whole thing. I don't really talk much about this place except while I'm on here. Very few people in my life away from here know about my time on the forum. This makes me happy to see people's lives change and that is why I do it.

People come on here sometimes talking about people being on ego trips, cults and all that garbage and they just don't get it. I get so much more back than I give. I've made some good friends here that I will have forever.

I am totally looking forward to us getting together soon to celebrate. It's okay to be concerned for Pam but don't let it get to you. She is a tough girl and she'll make it just fine. I've watched her do this for almost a year now. I can't even imagine her ever taking drugs again when this is over.

You mentioned the valium. I just wanted to tell you that I don't think it would be all that bad if you took a valium at this point if you're feeling rough. I'm not saying to start taking them daily by any means. But if you find yourself really having trouble sleeping, or with anxiety, etc it won't hurt you to take ONE valium to settle yourself down. You don't have to be a martyr.

I know you'll stay in touch as Pam continues to finish up and you accumulate more clean time. I'm proud of you dude and we'll all have a blast when we get together. I'm looking forward to it. We'll talk more later. I'm trying to get my business in Houston wrapped up so I can get home to Melinda on Sunday. I'm ready to go now to be honest, just have some things to finish up here first.

I decided to fly back rather than drive. I'm just having my car sent to Seattle on a transport. It would cost me almost as much to drive it as it costs to have it carried there and delivered right to our house. Anyway I will talk with you later. Once again CONGRATULATIONS on all you've accomplished. It's truly been a pleasure. God bless.

[HenryNCBA]

Hello Robert,
You had a small part in this whole thing?!?!? NOT my buddy! If it wasn't for you I would still be fumbling around in the dark feeling terrible and not any better, if at all, than when I first came onto this forum. I know Pam is tough and I reread her posts from when she first started and all I can do is shake my head in amazement. I am REALLY impressed and going back to back well I am at a lose for words and you know me I am long winded so that is really saying something! My hats off to you, Melinda, and my new good friend Pam.
Have a nice trip back my friend!

Henry

[Robert_325]

Henry ....... Thanks for all the credit but you were still the one who did this. I just gave you some suggestions which you followed to the letter. Now you're clean because you were willing to go along with the program doing every single thing I asked of you.

The transport picks up my car Saturday and I fly back to Seattle on Sunday after church. So I'll have a couple days of rest before I leave. Got the car all cleaned out today and it's ready to be picked up. I'll be glad when this trip is done.

Looking forward to getting back to Seattle and seeing Melinda. Kind of miss her! Will talk with you tomorrow. God bless.

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Henry ..... I never doubted that you would make it. I'm really happy for you buddy! I mean that sincerely. It makes doing this so worthwhile for me when I get to see people like you and Pam as well as Tom, Reid, Craig, Jenny, Donna, Linda, Chris, the list goes on mostly of people you don't even know .... I could sit here and make a list that would blow you away of people I've watched get clean on this forum who are mostly all long gone from here today. I even found the love of my life here! Who would have thought that would happen when Melinda was getting clean here? All the hours I've spent here were worth just that alone many times over. Finding Melinda brought me out of isolation and today my life is a joy simply because of her.

It's a great feeling just to know I had a small part in the whole thing. I don't really talk much about this place except while I'm on here. Very few people in my life away from here know about my time on the forum. This makes me happy to see people's lives change and that is why I do it.

People come on here sometimes talking about people being on ego trips, cults and all that garbage and they just don't get it. I get so much more back than I give. I've made some good friends here that I will have forever.

I am totally looking forward to us getting together soon to celebrate. It's okay to be concerned for Pam but don't let it get to you. She is a tough girl and she'll make it just fine. I've watched her do this for almost a year now. I can't even imagine her ever taking drugs again when this is over.

You mentioned the valium. I just wanted to tell you that I don't think it would be all that bad if you took a valium at this point if you're feeling rough. I'm not saying to start taking them daily by any means. But if you find yourself really having trouble sleeping, or with anxiety, etc it won't hurt you to take ONE valium to settle yourself down. You don't have to be a martyr.

I know you'll stay in touch as Pam continues to finish up and you accumulate more clean time. I'm proud of you dude and we'll all have a blast when we get together. I'm looking forward to it. We'll talk more later. I'm trying to get my business in Houston wrapped up so I can get home to Melinda on Sunday. I'm ready to go now to be honest, just have some things to finish up here first.

I decided to fly back rather than drive. I'm just having my car sent to Seattle on a transport. It would cost me almost as much to drive it as it costs to have it carried there and delivered right to our house. Anyway I will talk with you later. Once again CONGRATULATIONS on all you've accomplished. It's truly been a pleasure. God bless.

Good morning Robert,
Hope you are doing well. Well I was having a lot of trouble sleeping due to anxiety so I figured what the heck and took a 5mg valium tablet. Man was that the wrong thing to do. I was wired for most of the night and now I know exactly what RLS feels like as my right leg would not stop moving on it's own. It was kind of amusing in a way to sit there and watch my leg jumping around and I didn't even have control of it. I just thought "well there's something I don't see everyday!" Well I thought it was funny anyway. Finally fell asleep around 04:00 only to wake up at 05:00 and here I am. That is the last time I will take valium at night. Perhaps the 1mg of ativan would work better for me or better yet nothing at all. Anyway thought you could use a little chuckle this morning. It was pretty funny to me actually as I really was chuckling over it and the funny part was trying to figure out how to walk with my leg being like that. It finally settled down though fortunately.
Have a great day my friend!

Henry

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by HenryNCBA

Good morning Robert,
Hope you are doing well. Well I was having a lot of trouble sleeping due to anxiety so I figured what the heck and took a 5mg valium tablet. Man was that the wrong thing to do. I was wired for most of the night and now I know exactly what RLS feels like as my right leg would not stop moving on it's own. It was kind of amusing in a way to sit there and watch my leg jumping around and I didn't even have control of it. I just thought "well there's something I don't see everyday!" Well I thought it was funny anyway. Finally fell asleep around 04:00 only to wake up at 05:00 and here I am. That is the last time I will take valium at night. Perhaps the 1mg of ativan would work better for me or better yet nothing at all. Anyway thought you could use a little chuckle this morning. It was pretty funny to me actually as I really was chuckling over it and the funny part was trying to figure out how to walk with my leg being like that. It finally settled down though fortunately.
Have a great day my friend!

Henry

Hi Henry ..... that's wild! Valium ALWAYS seemed to me like it was the smoothest of all the benzos, the easiest on the body, I really thought it would help you. I judged wrong on that call. Sorry about that one buddy! I get a red "X" instead of a gold "star" on that call.

I don't know that the ativan would be any easier on you than valium. The drugs are not THAT much different that side effects would likely totally disappear going from one to the other. If you want to check it out do it during the earlier hours of the day so it doesn't keep you up at night if that is what happens. Hopefully you won't need it at all but the weekend is coming up, that's always a good time to try a change. It still kind of bewilders me that you would react to any benzodiazapines like you did but what can I say? You were there, I wasn't.

With no sleep last night I bet you sleep good tonight just from the lack of sleep alone. You know those drugs will continue tugging on your subconscience as long as they can telling you that it's okay "to just take one". That's why Melinda refers to them as "devil pills". They truly are evil. Even when the drs told me to take the RX opiates (Percocets) for my knee and other existing pain I only did it a few times when it was just terribly bad.

ONE Sunday morning at 4:30 I went to the ER and they gave me a shot of morphine. My knee was at least twice its normal size minimum. There was no way that I would allow it to become a regular part of my life. That shot helped for a few minutes but that was when I decided it just really wasn't worth all the emotional hassle, for me at least, to start taking those things daily. I stopped them almost as fast as I got that prescription. Even when I went to the University of Washington, one of the highest ranked hospitals nationally in orthopedics, they suggested I take RX opiates for the pain. I don't care if it's opiates or benzos or whatever too many of the drs want to give us pills that fix NOTHING! They just mask our problem as you know.

You've got this licked! You won the fight dude! It still excites me when I think about how you were so agreeable to anything I asked you to do. That makes helping someone so much easier when you have complete cooperation. Just be ready for any temptations that come up as they always do sooner or later. Just expect them, be aware, and be steadfast to your commitment to never go back. I'm looking forward to our celebration! It will be cool all of us getting together and celebrating people TRULY getting their lives back. That is very exciting! Later buddy, keep me posted. God bless.

[HenryNCBA]

Hello Robert,
"Devil Pills" that is a great name for them and that is what they are indeed. Don't worry about the valium deal of what happened. I decided that one not you and I based my decision on my past history with them that valium usually doesn't do a thing for me and knowing that ativan is a stronger med I didn't want to take that as I have engrained your words of wisdom into my brain that to "take the absolute minimum amount to get me stabilized" I was describing what happened to my leg to one of my coworkers this morning as it still feels a little strange. I imagine that is because of the long half life of valium I am thinking. I must be crazy because here I am laughing about this because I can see what I was doing last night sitting up in bed just watching my leg do the funky dying chicken and smiling and chuckling about it all the while saying "well there’s something I don't see everyday". "In fact any other day and I might think this strange". It had me cracking up. I'm sure that if a doctor was there he would have had me committed. I thought about possible stroke but checked myself for all the possible symptoms and signs but everything was okay. Last time I took valium it was 10 mg a while back and that also made me extremely agitated and restless and I would have thought I would have learned from that experience but I guess not.
You know Robert regarding working with you the pleasure was and is all mine. Really it is. Your instructions were so concise and your pragmatic approach to treatment could not be questioned. When you said that line of "to get you stabilized with the absolute minimum amount of sub" right there alone that told me you knew exactly what you were talking about and I truly believe that I would have been a fool not to follow your suggestions. Doctors even will tell me to take more sub if I feel terrible or don't feel it working. You went the complete opposite way and said I was taking too much and then to back off and let my system clean itself out and to start feeling the W/D and when it got to the point where I couldn't take it any longer then you started me on the very smallest dose of sub and worked me up from there and stabilized me on a small amount of 1.25 mg only and that was within the few hours after you started my induction. Even back then during my altered state of mind I had enough sense to see logical with rhyme and reason as it all of a sudden snapped into a perfectly clear picture. From that moment on I knew I would follow your instructions without question or hesitation. Simple fact is you have the experience; the knowledge and I don't period. I listened and followed and now I am reaping the benefits of your expertise so my thanks go to you my friend. I may have been the one to have done it and I may have been the one to make the final decision but I can not question or argue logic
Have a nice trip back Robert and I know you and Melinda miss each other terribly. Nothing wrong with that at all my friend as you both deserve the best and I can see you both have found it in each other.

Henry

[HenryNCBA]

Good morning Robert,
Just checking in. Also posting so others can see what it might feel like once they are clean as there is still the process of the finaly no sub taper. Today is now day 8 for me of being clean! Woooohooooo! About the only effects I felt were the first few days the aching upper legs, hips with muscle and bone pain, trouble sleeping and staying asleep, some depression along with micro panic attacks. These have all but diminished to the point now that I just feel a tiny bit of right leg and hip discomfort. I have not taken anymore valium and in fact took an Ambien and it actually somewhat worked. It knocked me out and although I still woke up about every 2 hours or so I felt much better than I did during the past week. I can feel that my sense of humor is returning along with feeling better. Cold symptoms are still there with the sneezing, watery eyes and runny nose but that comes and goes very quickly. No hot flashes or sweating so that is good. Sounds like I am on the right road and just stick this out and I am done! Cool!

Have a great day my friend!

Henry

[Robert_325]

Henry .... you are totally clean brother! I couldn't be anymore proud of you. I'm home now and looking forward to our celebration as soon as Pam finishes up. It won't be long. Stay in touch buddy. And if the ambien helps with the sleep it's okay. It isn't really addictive unless you get totally carried away and sleep is the last thing that gets normal after we get clean. Do as you see fit. Talk later. God bless.

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Henry .... you are totally clean brother! I couldn't be anymore proud of you. I'm home now and looking forward to our celebration as soon as Pam finishes up. It won't be long. Stay in touch buddy. And if the ambien helps with the sleep it's okay. It isn't really addictive unless you get totally carried away and sleep is the last thing that gets normal after we get clean. Do as you see fit. Talk later. God bless.

Hello Robert,
Glad you made it home safely buddy! Yes my main concern now is our good friend Pam. She will make it though I have no doubt. Not only is she tough but super commited and once she says she is going to do something I can tell her word is as good as gold. I'll stay in touch and continue with updates.
Have a nice day my friend!

Henry

[HenryNCBA]

Good morning Robert,
Just checkin in my friend. Doing pretty good actually! Better than I thought I would be. Saw my cardiologist yesterday and she gave me the green light for heavy duty exertion with no restrictions. She even said if I wanted to put on a heavy backpack and go scale a mountain if I wanted to. Just don't fall off the other side while I am on top dancing around from my conquest Depression seems to be lifting a bit. No more micro panic attacks so far. Leg and hip pain is now down to about a level 1 from a previous 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. I think my run last night helped it quite a bit also. Still taking ambien to sleep though as for some reason I still just can not fall asleep. I will take the ambien for only one more night as that will be night 6 in a row then get off of it for a while as I don't want to keep taking that crud and will just stay up and do what ever if I can't sleep. I remember that you had stated that sleep is the very last thing that will return to normal and seeing how out of whack my entire system was I can believe it.
Hope you are doing well yourself my friend and your knee is not giving you too much trouble!

Henry

[csmlw]

Originally Posted by HenryNCBA

Good morning Robert,
Just checking in. Also posting so others can see what it might feel like once they are clean as there is still the process of the finaly no sub taper. Today is now day 8 for me of being clean! Woooohooooo! About the only effects I felt were the first few days the aching upper legs, hips with muscle and bone pain, trouble sleeping and staying asleep, some depression along with micro panic attacks. These have all but diminished to the point now that I just feel a tiny bit of right leg and hip discomfort. I have not taken anymore valium and in fact took an Ambien and it actually somewhat worked. It knocked me out and although I still woke up about every 2 hours or so I felt much better than I did during the past week. I can feel that my sense of humor is returning along with feeling better. Cold symptoms are still there with the sneezing, watery eyes and runny nose but that comes and goes very quickly. No hot flashes or sweating so that is good. Sounds like I am on the right road and just stick this out and I am done! Cool!

Have a great day my friend!

Henry

Henry, I spent a while today filling in some of the gaps about your journey, If I'm reading correctly today you must be celebrating day #10 sub free-that is fabulous! I am so happy for you and your determination and energy is for sure rubbing off on me, not to mention many of the others here on this forum. Congrats and thanks,
Emily

[tired2]

Hi Henry,
Sorry your still having sleep problems.Unfortunately it is one symptom that takes awhile to come back.It can become a real nuisance if I say so myself.I remember those days all to well.I spent a lot of sleepless nights on this forum.Now if I can't sleep I will just pick up a book on the nights I can think straight.Boy.... Robert was not kidding that my benzo taper would be the worst!!Be patient my friend sleep will come soon!!!!
Later my friend,
Pam

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by csmlw

Henry, I spent a while today filling in some of the gaps about your journey, If I'm reading correctly today you must be celebrating day #10 sub free-that is fabulous! I am so happy for you and your determination and energy is for sure rubbing off on me, not to mention many of the others here on this forum. Congrats and thanks,
Emily

Hi Emily,
To tell you the truth I don't know what day this is. I know the date but not the day of the week and have to look at a calendar to see as I run around so much on the weekdays and especially the weekends it just becomes a blur for me. You are correct now that I think about it that today is day 10. Thanks for the Congrats but the credit goes to Robert, Melinda, Pam, and all those that supported me since I first got onto this forum. I just followed instructions which was the easy part
You are doing wonderfully and as you can tell there are some just fantastic folks on here and I feel so very fortunate to have found this site. I have many friends in the process also which is something that is not easy for me to do.
Hang in there Emily and we all will be watching for you with smiles on our faces. You CAN do it I have no doubt!!!

Henry

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by tired2

Hi Henry,
Sorry your still having sleep problems.Unfortunately it is one symptom that takes awhile to come back.It can become a real nuisance if I say so myself.I remember those days all to well.I spent a lot of sleepless nights on this forum.Now if I can't sleep I will just pick up a book on the nights I can think straight.Boy.... Robert was not kidding that my benzo taper would be the worst!!Be patient my friend sleep will come soon!!!!
Later my friend,
Pam

Hello Pam,
I honestly don't know what a good nights sleep feels like as ever since I was little I have never been able to sleep a whole night without waking up, not being able to fall asleep, etc... I dont' mean to say I am used to it as I hate it but such is life I guess.
I agree that benzo tapers are just plain downright nasty! Wish the roller coaster would just stop for you. At least slow down anyway.
I wish for you a pleasant evening my friend.

Henry

[HenryNCBA]

Hi Robert,
Just checking in. Wasn't around yesterday as I was lets just say taking care of stuff I wish I didn't have to. I can't say for sure how I am feeling as something happened that is causing a tremondous amount of pain and I absolutely refuse to take injections or any pain meds. Other than that I feel okay? Can't say if there is any depression or anxiety as I am still running high on adrenaline from two nights ago. I'm sure when it wears off though I will crash. Hey maybe I will be able to get some sleep! LOL!!!!
Hope you are doing well my friend and have a great day!

Henry