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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by clevername View Post
    Thanks strength! I'm definitely feeling the same vibe with your posts too and I'm really glad you picked the lovely month of June 2012 to detox along with me!

    I've been thinking a lot lately about how important physical activity is to mental health - and was thinking - what did people do like in the 50's?? My parents said people never used to work out unless they were sort of upper-class, and everybody smoked cigarettes and most drank. If I smoked, drank, and never exercised I would go bonkers so quick you could not imagine. How does Don Draper do it...
    Lots of really energetic sex...............
    caughtagain, clevername and MP5 like this.

  2. #62
    clevername is offline Member
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    Thanks for the encouragement guys. It is incredibly cathartic to post, no doubt. Sometimes viewing your situation in the third person is a great way to see how manageable your problems really are. I guess that's why it's called "perspective".

    @Hopeful - Hahahah! So true. Man my "drive" has been out of control for the last few days off the drugs but I don't think anyone needs to hear about that lol. I never before quite realized what a "college town" I lived in until coming out of te fog lol.

  3. #63
    clevername is offline Member
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    Just dropping in - still physical symptoms - fatigue, yawning, light sunburn feeling, chills, etc - but in a great mood. Went to the gym twice again today, feel awesome right now on a huge natural high listening to tunes and bathing in endorphins. Catchin up with friends on phone, playing some video games, listening to Pretty Lights, life is good. I'm sure sleep will be a pain later but whatevs. TGIF - thank god I finallygotoffsubs
    surfdog likes this.

  4. #64
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Good on ya my friend Surfdog

  5. #65
    clevername is offline Member
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    just an update - had a good weekend. Wrapping up day 11. Still sick but I'm exercising twice a day and feeling positive, and the symptoms are definitely manageable. The worst part is how hard it is to sleep. I stopped using the benzo to avoid getting a tolerance, but now I barely sleep at all. Still, I'm sure the natural patterns will come back eventually. Anyhow - just checking in
    surfdog and MP5 like this.

  6. #66
    ClassiqueMom is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by clevername View Post
    ...., but now I barely sleep at all...
    one of the MOST common lingering effects..
    don't fight it..

    get up.. write a letter.. watch a movie.. clean out a drawer.. pray
    something.. anything..

    and yep! you're right..

    Quote Originally Posted by clevername View Post
    Still, I'm sure the natural patterns will come back eventually
    and all in good time..

    Stay strong!
    Classique MoM

  7. #67
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    Clever...
    good job.
    Remember what i said about your coming off such a quick taper, if you can even call it that...
    it may take a little longer for sleep to come than if you had just come off vic's or something.
    however with all the exercise you are getting i have a feeling you will get sleep, a bit at a time, before you know it.
    Just keep going strong......
    wow...impressed here!
    Marian

  8. #68
    clevername is offline Member
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    thanks guys... I've been reeeeeeediculously fatigued lately, more than ever. I'm having trouble walking to work and had to skip the gym and head home from work early yesterday cause I felt faint. I'm sure it's just some temporary phase. I feel a lot less acutely sick, just GI stuff, sometimes sunburnt feeling on skin, and insane fatigue like my legs can barely hold me up. But it's manageable it's just different. Caffeine does nothing for me as you would imagine. I really wish I knew where to find some l-tyrosine but I've looked everywhere within walking distance and couldn't imagine making a longer trip on public transportation or something while feeling this weak. Maybe I'll order some from the internet. Anyhow this too shall pass.

  9. #69
    thalia45 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by clevername View Post
    thanks guys... I've been reeeeeeediculously fatigued lately, more than ever. I'm having trouble walking to work and had to skip the gym and head home from work early yesterday cause I felt faint. I'm sure it's just some temporary phase. I feel a lot less acutely sick, just GI stuff, sometimes sunburnt feeling on skin, and insane fatigue like my legs can barely hold me up. But it's manageable it's just different. Caffeine does nothing for me as you would imagine. I really wish I knew where to find some l-tyrosine but I've looked everywhere within walking distance and couldn't imagine making a longer trip on public transportation or something while feeling this weak. Maybe I'll order some from the internet. Anyhow this too shall pass.
    WholeFoods has L-Tyrosine...plus something I have found helpful: an Electrolyte combo pill: Calcium, Magnesium, Potassium in one big "horse" pill, but they are supposed to work together.

    The fatigue? I have found a lot of it goes away if you can just get up and take a walk; seems to help the muscles somehow...

  10. #70
    clevername is offline Member
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    Couldn't find a whole foods close enough for l-tyrosine but found a health store that has DLPA. Stuff looks pretty cool. I'm planning to take 2g/day for 2 weeks than reassess, but I'm gonna look around this forum an see if I can find better dosage info. I'd rather not take much cause it's insanely expensive. Still, it's supposed to inhibit endorphin breakdown and I can literally feel the endorphins leaving my body after I work out so I'd love to see if this works. I'm at the gym right now and I managed I ride te bike for ~35 min so I'm feeling a bit better.
    ClassiqueMom likes this.

  11. #71
    PatrickB is offline Member
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    Hang in there, it definitely gets better. I jumped off 19 days ago and was taking about .75 a day down from 8mg a day 5 months ago. While you tapered more quickly and at a slightly higher dose, I am here to say that I more or less have slept through the last 2 or 3 nights. My energy has been good and L-tyrosine did help me in situations. It tends to work best on an empty stomach first thing in the morning and/or a bit before a workout. Like you I have found a lot of comfort in exercise and weightlifting. They tend to make you feel better and make the healing process faster. I used alprazolam as well for days 2-7. I suffered from waking up over and over again with vivid dreams and sweat for roughly another week but it definitely got better.

    Give yourself another full week and I bet you'll be sleeping ok. I was only able to lift at about 75% strength last week but I actually was right back up to where I was at when I was taking the medication this week. I also don't have much of any lingering fatigue. There are definitely moments where I am tired on occasion but they are usually situations where I might be a little tired anyway. Hope you take it one day at a time and keep up the positive attitude.
    Last edited by PatrickB; 06-12-2012 at 02:57 PM.
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  12. #72
    clevername is offline Member
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    Thanks patrick! Finishing up day 13 here so that's very encouraging. I had to miss work today because of lack of sleep and exhaustion so I'm getting back on the benzo for sleep. If I have to take it for a few weeks at .5-1mg before bed every night, so be it. I'm not concerned about kicking such a tiny benzo habit nearly as much as I am concerned with the lack of sleep. I need a good bit of sleep to function - I know other people have been much tougher with the lack of sleep than I have but I think I know my body and will do what I have to do. Hopefully I'll only need it for another 5 days or so before I can sleep without it.

    Ps. Settled on 3G/day of DLPA for the next 2 weeks (1g 3x day) This seems like the lower end of the doses that come recommended on a lot of websites for the initial phase. Any thoughts/experiences from people who've used it?
    Last edited by clevername; 06-12-2012 at 06:59 PM.

  13. #73
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    Clever...
    don't know anything about the supplements. i'm sure you'll get replies.
    however you nailed it with....
    "this too shall pass".....
    tough i know but i'm so impressed!
    Marian

  14. #74
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by clevername View Post
    thanks guys... I've been reeeeeeediculously fatigued lately, more than ever. I'm having trouble walking to work and had to skip the gym and head home from work early yesterday cause I felt faint. I'm sure it's just some temporary phase. I feel a lot less acutely sick, just GI stuff, sometimes sunburnt feeling on skin, and insane fatigue like my legs can barely hold me up. But it's manageable it's just different. Caffeine does nothing for me as you would imagine. I really wish I knew where to find some l-tyrosine but I've looked everywhere within walking distance and couldn't imagine making a longer trip on public transportation or something while feeling this weak. Maybe I'll order some from the internet. Anyhow this too shall pass.
    Clever that tired feeling and lead legs will pass it just takes time. I think you are doing well you have all my support hang tight man it gets better I promise it does Surfdog

  15. #75
    ClassiqueMom is offline Senior Member
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    Hi clever!

    you're doing great!!! hanging in there!!

    was it by chance this thread that you got the info about dpla at?

    -->click

    it was a convo between cheeky, intelmetal and some others..

    i had it 'bookmarked' for 'future reference' ..

    sure does sound like a good thing!

    keep going! everyday forward is victory!

    Classique MoM

  16. #76
    ClassiqueMom is offline Senior Member
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    p.s... the info about the dpla is about 1/3 way down that page..

  17. #77
    clevername is offline Member
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    Thanks for the encouragement guys. I took a sleeping pill and conked out from 9-3am solid and 3-9am fitfully last night so im feeling sooo much better now. Jelly-legs are gone so I think my big problems were coming from lack of sleep. Classique - thanks for the link! I think that was the thread where I first heard about DLPA but after doing some more Internet research I'm seeing people recommending high doses initially which is why I am going with the 1g 3x day plan for first 2 weeks then I'll drop down. I've taken it for one day so far but I'm not even sure how I'll know when it's working since I'm supposed to be feeling better everyday anyhow lol
    ClassiqueMom likes this.

  18. #78
    Crystalclear651 is offline Senior Member
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    Runners high...that's what I'm aiming for n I'm beginning to c how great exercise has become during this taper. Great way to blow off steam n get symptoms under control! Ur doin great hun

    Quote Originally Posted by clevername View Post
    ok one big difference between flu and wds is that if you have a flu and you go to

    the gym you might pass out but if you have wds once yo
    u get over the 10min or so hump on the exercise bike you feel incredible. I just did 30+ minutes on the bike at the gym and feel pretty amazing. Started raining like crazy on the walk back with me in my tshirt but aint that just poetic. Anyhow its amazing how much exercise has helped me these last 5+ weeks. I've heard long distance runners can get crosstolerant to the effect of a 50mg morphine habit. Whaddaya know that's only 6 times less than what I used to take

  19. #79
    clevername is offline Member
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    fyi... 40 days and still goin strong. Feeling pretty good now. I felt pretty nasty up until day 35 or so then I noticed that I felt significantly better. It seemed like the last week of June was even harder than the one before since some of the initial "omg I did it!" euphoria was wearing off and I realized how terrible I still felt.

    Protips: kava is a lifesaver. I used kava so I could stop taking my xanax for sleep a couple weeks ago, and it was absurd how well it covered up any mild benzo withdrawal symptoms, let me sleep, and was not hard to come off of. Melatonin is good too once the initial suboxone "omg i need benzos" insomnia phase is over. Now I'm totally off the pills and I can sleep OK with a melatonin (and sometimes a toke when that doesnt work, in the interest of full disclosure.)

    Thanks for all your help guys, I can't believe how much better my situation is right now than it was 2 months ago when I thought I'd never be free.
    Comeback Kid and ClassiqueMom like this.

  20. #80
    toddio14 is offline Member
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    Hey clevername,
    Thanks for posting on my thread! Ive read yours and you are a BASA$$ bro! We both jumped at about 1mg after long term sub use so I can relate to everything you posted. Im on day 22 as you know, and my sleep is so much better than it was a week ago. I do take like 15mg of melatonin but i have been sleeping like 6-7 hrs the past few nights, and 2 wks ago or even 1wk ago i was taking like 30mg melatonin and a unisom and only getting a couple broken up hrs. Glad to hear that when you were about where i am (about 3-4 wks) that you had the tired spells too, not that im glad that that happened to u but just cause I know now thats its just normal from coming off the subs. And you mention the sunburn feeling, I have been having a burning sensation that feels like a really bad sunburn but only in my feet?? U think this is just a normal symptom? I was thinking it was a side effect of the antidepressant. So your on day 49 now huh, how awesome man, congrats! How are you feeling now, are all the mild symptoms that linger forever gone now?
    Great to hear from you man take care!
    Todd

  21. #81
    clevername is offline Member
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    Hey man, thanks for hittin me back and for the kind words. I didn't experience anything like a really bad sunburn in the feet, just a sort of funny sensitive/mildly painful skin feeling esp on my neck, back, and arms - I still get it occasionally in a very mild way (but it may just be the fact that its been crazy hot out lately), but just enough to make me wonder if its there, not enough to be irritating or anything. I think you're right that it sounds like it could be an antidepressant side effect - that must be a crazy brain salad coming off subs and starting on antidepressants at the same time! I was put on zoloft once and took it for 2 weeks but it made me feel like I was coming up on psychedelics the whole time, but without any of the fun. They certainly work for some people though.

    Anyhow yeah dude 49 days and I am feeling like a totally reasonable human being. Still some lingering anxiety/depression but I had that before and I was messed up on drugs for a while! So that's to be expected - I stopped taking a pill, I didn't turn into a different person. Also working out feels pretty great.

    Anyhow man I totally agree with what you said on your thread, reading all those horror stories is not healthy. It's best to taper down to nothing, but if you can't its still doable.

    Melatonin has worked well for sleep with me too. I take 5mg - I didn't know taking 15-30mg would work! I probably could have stopped the benzos sooner lol. Peace out man! Good luck and it seems like youre doing great - over the hump for sure. So cool to see people beating these nasty pills cause man they can seem unbeatable when your caught up in em.

  22. #82
    RsdRlsBloodisorder1 is offline New Member
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    Has anyone ever heard of R.S.D. (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy)??

  23. #83
    clevername is offline Member
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    Awww yea 70 days
    caughtagain likes this.

  24. #84
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    Proud of you CLever! THanks for stopping by and giving us an update.!! All my best, Reid

  25. #85
    toddio14 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by clevername View Post
    Awww yea 70 days
    Congrats man! Awesome!!

  26. #86
    toni.s. is offline Senior Member
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    awww yeah! way to go!

    i'm at 68 days..
    we're neck and neck bud!
    Strong Desire likes this.

  27. #87
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Tod and clever good on ya Dog

  28. #88
    clevername is offline Member
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    FYI 121 days and no relapses here. Can't believe how strung out I was for so long! Good luck everybody still trying to kick a habit, it's a lot nicer on this side.
    Comeback Kid likes this.

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