Results 1 to 13 of 13
Sick thoughts
  1. #1
    shybaybe2003 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    608

    Default Sick thoughts

    I feel like a complete dumbass, but I have to know if anyone has ever had thoughts of injuring themselves so they could get pain pills? I am not going to do it of course, I want to be clean, but I can't seem to rid myself of these compulsive thoughts to accidentally break a toe or something. Ugh, Maybe I am insane.

  2. #2
    Anonymous Guest

    Default

    Hi Shy
    Your not insane...My old doctor would tell me stories about people that would have surgeries done just to get pain meds.. so your not the only one...when I was addicted I would think of all kinds of things to get pain pills...
    rest assured your normal
    talk to you later, Melinda

  3. #3
    yezdegerd is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    867

    Default

    Every time a car gets close to hitting me I actually hope it does. Sue them+painkillers is a day dream I've had many many times. You're not alone

  4. #4
    shybaybe2003 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    608

    Default

    this is so twisted but if i go to the hospital for something and I hear someone broke a leg and are on a morphine drip or something,I would feel envy. I even feel envious if I watch someone get pain meds on ER the tv show, even though it is not real. Its like my mind has a mind of its own, which i guess it does.

  5. #5
    yezdegerd is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    867

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by shybaybe2003 View Post
    this is so twisted but if i go to the hospital for something and I hear someone broke a leg and are on a morphine drip or something,I would feel envy. I even feel envious if I watch someone get pain meds on ER the tv show, even though it is not real. Its like my mind has a mind of its own, which i guess it does.
    One time about a year ago I got so sick I actually thought I might have swine or something ( anxiety didn't help, and was trying to quit opiates ) as I have never had a vomit flu in my adult life so my friend took me to the hospital and they gave me some dilaudid, OMFG! It was like heaven washing over me. By the time I left there ( 2 hours ) I had them give me 6 more injections. I no longer fear death ;p

  6. #6
    yezdegerd is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    867

    Default

    Oh, and the fact that Dr. House has buttloads of money, a good job AND pops pills all day, talk about being envious !

  7. #7
    Ggeo is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    386

    Default Definitely not alone...

    I read in one of these heartbreaking tales on here about a guy who was having his teeth pulled methodically one by one out of his head to get pain meds. That's the pull these things have over some of us....more of us than we even know...

  8. #8
    evildone is offline Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    77

    Default

    i have had thought too. i even staked out in woods with a shotgun waiting to do a home invasion cause i knew the person had pills in his house...i backed out though...jail plus w/ding kept overcoming what i was about to do. yez i kno the feeling

  9. #9
    shybaybe2003 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    608

    Default

    do these thoughts ever go away? I still imagining falling on the ice and hurting myself, and then i would have a LEGIT reaason to go back on pills

  10. #10
    oneistoomany is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    144

    Default

    Ahhhh.... but then, one day, you would have to feel the pain of withdrawals again. AND probably arthritis in your toe LOL--I dreamed of having an endless supply, got my dream and am now going through withdrawals for a second time in my life-- no fun, not worth the couple of highs I got from taking the stupid pills in the beginning.

  11. #11
    AnnieC50 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    193

    Default Normal thoughts

    You are normal...I used to have those thoughts all the time until last week when I went on subs. Just last Saturday I was listening to a story on the radio where a guy went into a pharmacy, put a box on the counter, told them it was a bomb and to give him all their vicodon or he would blow them up. They gave him the pills and he ran out of the store and left the box....Of course it was not a bomb, it was full of wires and spark plugs. The first thing I thought was in a few days he will run out and then what will he do. They still have not caught him so I am sure he will try it again and at some point get caught. Poor guy....But I have to admit that I have sat and thought of many different ways I could get pills and yes hurting myself....maybe breaking a finger or something....I think its pretty normal.

  12. #12
    shybaybe2003 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    608

    Default

    atleast ive mver considered robbing a place!
    well not exactly. we'll leave it at that.

  13. #13
    newyorkgal is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    2,115

    Default

    About 10 years ago, I had major surgery. I had a complete hysterectomy. I was on methadone at the time so they knew they had to give me maximum dosage of pain med. When I woke up IN AGONY, I had one of those pumps you control yourself. Of course, you don't really control it. They just let you get so much but mentally you THINK you control it. I did press the button often so I was getting the maximum dose. On the one hand, I was in severe pain, on the other hand, I was keeping myself totally out of it. I liked the fact that I was getting the dilaudid even though I had to go through a major surgery to get it. My mother had her appendix out. One dose of morphine made her sick to her stomach and she was done and wouldn't take it any more. This is the difference between addict thinking and non addict thinking. It's crazy yet normal lol.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22