[bellabarbara]

OK Robert!
I am presently doing well on my third day at 12 mgs.
I will keep it simple.
I could hear you yelling through the computer!
I'll go back to praying now!
love b

barb,

All I can say is keep it up, we are all praying for you. Robert will keep you on track. This wont be easy but I know later on you will be greatful you did it.
I will be here for you as we all will.

Best Wishes,

Eric

[bellabarbara]

thanks always eric for your positivity
i've learned the hard way to stay away from reading all the horror stories about sub. withdrawal. because of you and many others i sense your sincerity and gratitude to Robert. I'm sooooooo tired of being a slave to sub. I just need to keep turning it over to Robert who is working through God to help me get through this. I am so sure that God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself. Constantly turn it over -turn it over all day! I hope you have a peaceful night. I'm in S. FL and right now in the middle of an early evening hot humid thundering monsoon! but i do love the rain.
Thanks again dear friend, b

I was just down there in S Fla last week for my aunts funeral in West Palm Beach it rained every day. I grew up down there in Palm Beach Gardens.
Most of us in here were slaves to some sort of drug subs, vics like me, percs, it doesnt matter we all found the strength to get free and I KNOW YOU WILL TOO. I to beleve in God and I think he works through us not for us, he will help give you the strength to get free but he can only help you if you want to help yourself he gave us freewill. I can see how badly you want to be free to take the strength that God is giving you and work at it...I know you will be successful, we are here to help and support you.

Bless you and keep up the effort !!

[bellabarbara]

hi
i feel so lethargic today...it's taking all my strength to get dressed....it's taking all my strength to follow the program....but i am! just needed to share......thanks r

Originally Posted by bellabarbara

hi
i feel so lethargic today...it's taking all my strength to get dressed....it's taking all my strength to follow the program....but i am! just needed to share......thanks r

It will take everything you have I for one wanted to just give in so many times and stroll over to the VA and get "one more refill" I took a lot to keep myself from doing that. I am glad you are sticking to the program you will make it.
You come in here and share anytime you want that is what we are here for !!

Eric

[bellabarbara]

eric
can i just go to sleep for the next 6 months??????????????????????
seriously, does anyone know of some kind of super vitamin i can get

[bellabarbara]

hi there R
etremely lethargic
runny nose and eyes
some sweats
i don't know where you are but will need to take some sub to deal with symptoms, it's 2:00pm here
God Bless

[intelmetal]

I think you should try emergen-C powdered drink mix. It has a lot of the nutrients that you need to recover and it is a pleasant tasting drink. Mix 2 packets of emergen-C w/ 10 ounces of bottled water and shake lightly. I like the cranberry flavor the best, but you can try tropical fruit flavor as well. Just make sure you buy it by the box ( approx. 32 packets per box ) it is much cheaper that way compared to buying single packets individually. This will help you with fatigue and give you some energy without the caffeine. It has done wonders for me and I recommend it to anyone trying to get off opiates. Also bananas are awesome for potassium intake. Try a little walk in the morning to get your endorphin production going. And most important, stay calm, relax after you walk and take a hot shower and meditate. Say a prayer every couple of hours, the lord is listening and will help if we need it. Hope you feel better soon.
IWANTOUT

to live my life and to be free !

P.S. I have been following your story, and I pray for you daily.

[WorriedGf]

Hello to anyone and everyone willing to take the time to read this.

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we have had some rought times to say the least. He was in the service and got into drugs decided to go Awol and ever since has had a serious drug problem. This was almost a year ago. In the begining we were trying the long distance thing and I constantly had a bad feeling due to the people he spent his time with and the sudden lack of care in so many ways. I decided to go and see him and found out he had been using Cocain once and a while and Heroin once and a while not to mention he was cheating on me. We ended up breaking up over these issues but not even a week later we were back together. I convinced myself he loved me enough to not do those things anymore. He moved back to where I was a couple of months after but while he was gone he had his apendix removed and had developed a pain pill problem due to the surgury. Now that he was back he was having a hard time getting a hold of pain pills so he ordered them online and that worked for a while but we didn't have the money for him to continue that habit. So all the sudden he was fine didn't have the want or need for pain pills and was always so caring and affectionate. I was so happy that it didn't even cross my mind that something was wrong when everything felt so right. I soon found out my happy wonderful loving boyfriend was snorting heroin. I was angry but after he convinced me it was only for a very short while and it was just because we couldn't afford his medication this was a cheaper solution right? Wrong he continued to play me and convince me of lies through his whole snorting heroin phase, his whole smoking heroin phase, and tried when he started injecting. By then I had had enough of the lies and betrayl I tried to contact his father and he man handled the phone from my fingers and left me screming and crying about how he loved drugs more then me. Finally he came to his senses and realized he had a problem it wasn't just for fun anymore. He bought suboxone off the streets cause he didn't have medical and tried to quit on his own. Didn't work. Finally his parents found out and offered to pay for rehab. He said maybe, he wanted to go on vacation first so the both of us took off and he said he was gonna try to quit on hisown again. . . watching him go through withdrawls was horrible I couldn't do anything he was throwing up and seizing and his eyes were rolling in the back of his head. He asked me to take him to the ER so I did. The doctors there told us he needed immidiate help so the next day we flew home. He went into a detox program that lasted the total of 4 days just to get him clean and through withdrawls. Now were looking for an Outpaitent program but I"m scared he will just go back to Heroin. He informed me that after a couple of years if he still doesn't like sober life he will go back to it. What do I do then? Wait tell were married with kids and when he decides to be a heroin addict I'm a single mom whose kids don't have a dad. The main reason I'm writing all of this is to find out what I can do to keep him away from drugs? Any suggestions or advice would be very much so appreciated. (If your suggestion is to leave him please don't respond, that is not a option and it is something I'm told alot. Yes I'm stupid to stay, but I know that so you don't have to tell me)

[bellabarbara]

thank you so much for caring!
where do I get emerge-C is is a health food type thing?
thanks for prayers- i'm having a singificantly low energy /some w/d kind of day ..i will try to swim tomorrow...it's 95 here which doesn't help with the sweating..
i have to keep moving forward towards my goal of total sobriety..
what's your name......thanks for the energy tip, barb

[magsj]

Dear Worried:

I don't think you will like my answer. Since he just went through detox and you are trying to find an outpatient rehab for him to go to....I guess I would see THIS through and see if he can stay clean long enough to get into outpatient rehab. I don't understand places that just do detox and no follow up inpatient/outpatient recovery program. Detox alone usually fails in my experience. If I really thought there was a chance THIS detox and rehab is working I guess I would hope for the best and hand in there to see if it "sticks" but, having said that.... If he relapses, I would run the other way! This may sound cold-hearted (after all I am an addict, working on recovering) but the reality is if you stay most likely you will be in for a lifetime rollercoaster ride and not a fun one. I never did heroin, stuck to pills, but I am sure this whole thing has not been fun for my husband but we had been married 25+ years before I became addicted, so there are a lot of good memories that carry us through. I am sure that, if in the beginning I had this problem, he may have walked away.

I wish you and your boyfriend the best; I hope that his detox/recovery is successfull for both of you!!!!

mags

[WorriedGf]

Thank you Mags for the advice I hope that things go well more than you can possibly imagine.

Worried

[bellabarbara]

hi r
haven't heard from you and m for awhile.....i know you guys are very busy & it was great to see the snow on FB
i believe i've been doing well....discipline, etc....i haven't felt okay for past 2 days on 12mg....i am trying to get to 8mg but not sure this is possible with sweats and discomfort i will still check in daily... i'd really like to hear from you when you get a minute....i have not gone over 12 mgs. hope your still with me...this is the most important thing for me now....i'll never survive without total abstinence....much blessings, b

[melinda7.5]

Hi Barb
Are internet service has been going in and out and they have not got it fixed yet. stupid comcast, but Robert is out of town right now but he will be on line later, don't worry he wont leave you hanging. hang in there your doing great.
Proud of you
Happy 4th of July and talk to you soon,
Melinda

[bellabarbara]

oh M, thanks so much for your note...you are so caring & understanding...you just made my day. i'm so tired of crying and suffering every little piece of positivity is so needed....i am grateful sweet girl!!!

[bellabarbara]

i'm still here trying to be accountable
i know you two must be incredibly busy
i wish you many blessings
i have not made it to 8 mgs yet
but i will
robert hope you are still with me on this journey
peace/love, b

[bellabarbara]

eric, linda, all of you
anyone out there
i'm needing hope and a hug
i bought the energy c mix haven't tried it yet a little nauseas
love you all, b

Hey there barb,

I was wondering how you are managing now. I quit cold turkey so I have not personally delt with subs but I have been watching Robert in here for a long time and the advice he gives. Are you now stable at 12mg ?? I think that is the Robert approach to stabilize someone at a set dose for a period of time the gradually go to the next lower step.
I think you are doing great you are already using less than you were last week and that is a good thing. Personally I dont care if it takes you the next 3 months to get off the subs as long as you are progressing as you are it is all a good thing. Do not lose faith you are progressing and you will beat this deamon I know it!!!
Hang in there, keep yourself healthy and stay strong!!
I AM ROOTING FOR YOU !!!

Eric

[intelmetal]

I am glad you found the emergen-C mix, now give it a try. You need all the things in it, and it is a pleasant drink anyway. Try 3 packets a day, each packet should be mixed w/ 5 ounces of water. I hope it helps you as it has helped me a lot. Stay strong, we are behind you 100% !
IWANTOUT

to live my life and to be free !

[bellabarbara]

thank you dearest eric
i can feel your warmth and sincerity all the way in FL
i am a slave to this process....there does'nt seem to be any other way to get off subs except the long, long way....the past is the past and i can't change it....i just need to hang on one day at a time...i am tired....i am angry....no one knows about what i am doing except my doctor and some AA people...i carry the weight of the lie...eric it is VERY HARD doing this....i am craving being able to wake up alive and sober embracing a new day and all it may bring...this drug numbs my awareness and appreciation of nature, music, my creativity. i can't stand being outside...its like an oven trying to take my breath away, humidity and sweat and aggravation...i am praying and trying to feel God;s prescence everything seems artificial..the only time i feel okay is in the middle of the night, in the darkness, or watching something on tv and my best friend, my little love is next to me warm and soft, her name is emma- she's a yorkie poo--she just wants love...to give it and take it...so spiritual!
wow i really needed to vent......thanks for being there.....Blessings to my friend eric
good night, barb

[bellabarbara]

hi robert
checking in again moving towards 8 mgs....i know you are so busy....but are you still with me...please write even if you yell at me.................
i am committed to ending the sub madness
love and blessings to you and M
love, b

[bellabarbara]

just wondering if anyone else is coming off sub. looking for support, feedback. thanks

[Robert_325]

Barbara ... I've been very busy with melinda. She is starting to improve a little now each day but still having a tough go of it. So are you getting down to 8mg? Sounds like you're doing a little better. God bless.

[bellabarbara]

so glad M is feeling better...she's so positive and loving that will speed her healing!
robert- i feel pretty much sick in the morn. have to take about 3 mgs immediately just to walk the dog...i have such hatred for this drug/slavery..it takes alot of deep digging to come up with the basic premise of GRATITUDE....like things could be so much worse....
"i had the blues because i lost my shoes, until i came upon a man on the street, who had no feet"....anyway i respect all you're doing and all the time it takes, but thats what a loving, healing, compassionate, very caring fiance does! God Bless you....its just good to know you are there and you understand whats going on with me, that basically you're the only person who understands this painful process. and i'm so grateful, b

i welcome any and all prayers, feedback, & support from anyone on this website...i need you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[melinda7.5]

Hi Barb
sorry I haven't got to talk to you to much lately, I have been thinking about you tho and been saying prayers...Im really proud of you I know it's not easy but your doing it...
I will catch up with you later, I know they are going to make me go lay down soon
have a good day
Melinda

[Robert_325]

Barbara ... as long as you do the next right thing it all works out like it's supposed to. It's okay to take a little extra time. Don't have to push yourself until you make yourself cry and all that. Just continue to move forward and make progress.

People like us have been using for a very long time. An extra few days or few weeks at this point doesn't matter as long as the end result is success. Keep your chin up and don't give in to that little voice telling you to take more or to snort something or anything that you know is wrong. Just do the next right thing no matter what. God bless.

[bellabarbara]

robert
i'm doing the right thing today so far.
robert there's really little joy & sub. wants to bleed my spirituality.
i pray all through the day and my prayers feel shallow.
i continue to fight for the joy and peace and the happy spirit that i once had.
just venting, b

[bellabarbara]

M here is the thread you can also do a search for bellabarbara

[Robert_325]

So where are you at now with taking your subs Barbara? Have you reduced anymore? God bless.