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relationship ruined bc of loratabs
  1. #1
    kn1234 is offline New Member
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    Default relationship ruined bc of loratabs

    My boyfriend and I had been together for about 7 months. He has been to rehab in the beginning of november 06 for loratabs. We started dating in febuary. He had been sober and had not been to a night club since rehab. When we started dating he started to drink occasionally with me. Then came the loratabs. At first it was a few.. like 2 or 3. He would use the excuse that it was just 'this weekend' and promised me (still to this day) that he would never be the way he was before. He continued to get them behind my back, maybe once in close to a month. I caught him alot of the time and wouldnt speak to him for a day or so. He promised he wouldnt do it again or at least try. This changed our relationship. I never trusted him. I would ask him everyday if he took a loratab, i would watch out the window when he would go to his truck (he hid them there). I drove myself crazy. Always questioning him and never believing anything he said. The last time i caught him, he swore that he would really try and he would tell me if he bought some and at least not lie to me about it. So a few days ago, he decided to get some and he was honest with me. He said he would buy 4 and ended up buying close to 10. He works in the lawn service buisness and his co-workers all take loratabs too. I said i had enough. I could not deal with it anymore. He thought it was okay since he was honest with me. The next day after work he ended up not coming home, not answering the phone for 2 hours and finally texting me that he was at the bar. I decided to pack my stuff and leave him. I believe i deserved a phone call for everything i have been through. He finally called the next day crying that he couldnt call me because he did other drugs that afternoon.. cocaine.. and he couldn't talk to me because i would have been able to tell my his voice. He swears he will go to meetings everyweek and not do this again. I love him but i cant drive myself crazy over it anymore.. i dont think i will be able to trust him. and i dont want to hurt him. but i've reached my limit.... any advice?

  2. #2
    meblockhead is offline New Member
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    Wink You sound like my man sometimes

    You do deserve more than that. But it's hard to stop an addiction. I love my boyfriend yet I still lied to him and hid things behind his back because I did not want to hurt him. While all along that's all I did was hurt him Becacause most of the time I would get caught. I am the addict my man has never been addicted to anything. It sounds to me like your man may not have enough will power to stop. or he's just young or maybe he's just not ready yet. I am 31.
    I have done some kind of drug since I was 17 mostly smoke pot. I am tired of lieing to myself. I had to take the first step and if my man left me I would not blame him exept I am only 4 day's in to my recovery process from pain pills. And I dont think he should leave me now. Although I have tryed to quit severel times before. We have been together for since april 2005 I have been on pain pills since april of 2004.
    Addiction is an every day battle and right now I am taking things just 1 min at a time. This is coming from an addicit so maybe it will help you understand more about what he is going through. My opinion, knowing what I know, If you dont have kids with him and your younger then 30. LEAVE him. In my experiance, when I didnt leave the next thing I knew I was doing the same drugs my x had offered me so many times before. I eventually hit a low and got courois and said yes. But that's just my opinion. Wish you the best.
    P.S. Sorry about the spelling I suck at it. Take care and good luck.

  3. #3
    Anonymous Guest

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    Well I think you have already done the right thing by leaving him. He is gonna quit when he is ready and there is nothing you can say or do to make him do it. It has to be his decision. It might do him some good by you leaving b/c now he knows you mean buisness and if he wants to be with you then he might clean up his act but don't count on it. However you are not doing him any good by sticking around and letting him lie to you and get away with it. I think you knew that already though. I would just be supportive in a tough way but at the same time keep my distance. I know its easier said then done but you deserve better than to be lied to constantly. Take care.

    Krissy

  4. #4
    kn1234 is offline New Member
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    i agree. i just hate going through the healing process. although he has been having a steady job that he goes to at 5 in the morning and doing better.. he still has his addiction. i think i may have to come into his life to help him find his way. i guess. deep down i know that i need to leave him. his mom is a cocaine addict and his dad is a recovering addict. so it runs in the family. thanks for replying..

  5. #5
    meblockhead is offline New Member
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    Default Wishing you luck

    I just want to say DONT LET HIM DRAG YOU INTO IT that is when I would say enough is enough if you starts trying to get you to do it. My x didnt try to get me to do the drugs with him until 4 years into the relationship. So just becareful and good luck

    Ps I ended up leaveing him but it took 6 years and he is 32 and still an coke addict

  6. #6
    craigmack is offline Member
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kn1234 View Post
    My boyfriend and I had been together for about 7 months. He has been to rehab in the beginning of november 06 for loratabs. We started dating in febuary. He had been sober and had not been to a night club since rehab. When we started dating he started to drink occasionally with me. Then came the loratabs. At first it was a few.. like 2 or 3. He would use the excuse that it was just 'this weekend' and promised me (still to this day) that he would never be the way he was before. He continued to get them behind my back, maybe once in close to a month. I caught him alot of the time and wouldnt speak to him for a day or so. He promised he wouldnt do it again or at least try. This changed our relationship. I never trusted him. I would ask him everyday if he took a loratab, i would watch out the window when he would go to his truck (he hid them there). I drove myself crazy. Always questioning him and never believing anything he said. The last time i caught him, he swore that he would really try and he would tell me if he bought some and at least not lie to me about it. So a few days ago, he decided to get some and he was honest with me. He said he would buy 4 and ended up buying close to 10. He works in the lawn service buisness and his co-workers all take loratabs too. I said i had enough. I could not deal with it anymore. He thought it was okay since he was honest with me. The next day after work he ended up not coming home, not answering the phone for 2 hours and finally texting me that he was at the bar. I decided to pack my stuff and leave him. I believe i deserved a phone call for everything i have been through. He finally called the next day crying that he couldnt call me because he did other drugs that afternoon.. cocaine.. and he couldn't talk to me because i would have been able to tell my his voice. He swears he will go to meetings everyweek and not do this again. I love him but i cant drive myself crazy over it anymore.. i dont think i will be able to trust him. and i dont want to hurt him. but i've reached my limit.... any advice?
    first off, someones gotta want to quit to quit. it sounds as if he doesnt want to right now, or that hes just got away with it so long that you will take him back sooner or later. most of the time its about doing the same thing for so long that your stuck in it, repetitive. sit down and talk about seeing someone together(counselor) and if he doesnt want that, than leave him. because he will bring you down and destroy your lifes. he may say he has control now but sooner or later hell get used to taking a few a day, than hell bump it up and so on. and i have first hand experience in this. i used to be that guy, and i ran everything i love away.

  7. #7
    kn1234 is offline New Member
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    well, he said he would start going to meetings every week, but i think that i will never be able to trust him. and i dont want to be in a relationship where i always have that worry over my head. about 2 months ago, he asked me if i would start going to meeting with him to support him. i told him that of course i would. he was so surprised and happy that i actually would go with him. that same night i found a text message that he sent to his friend asking for loratabs. i felt like such a fool. and i have a gut feeling that it is just to late. my trust is pretty much gone.

  8. #8
    Anonymous Guest

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    I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with that. He is gonna stop when he wants to. I really think you are doing the right thing. Not being able to trust your boyfriend for whatever reason will drive you insane so it is best that you are moving on. You deserve better. I wish you and him the best.

    Krissy

  9. #9
    kn1234 is offline New Member
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    i agree.. i cannot drive myself crazy! xox

  10. #10
    drugwife is offline New Member
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    Angry Get out while you can

    Beleive me, If I could but I am married to an addict and let me tell you, when he and I were dating, he started with Vicoden, worked his way to Morphine, then to Oxy Contin, then shooting >>>>>>. I thought at that time, when he went to rehab, he swore he would not do it again. He was sober for a little while, I thought hey, he's doing great. I married him and he relapsed. And now, I've been dealing with him for 3 years this way. I don't believe anything he says, and I don't trust him. Do you really want a relationship with someone you can't trust or who you don't believe? Let me tell you, thank God I don't have children with him because I am considering a divorce and if I can pass on any advice, get out now...

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