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regarding suboxin
  1. #1
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    Default regarding suboxin

    concerned about pressures of suboxin user son in law and impending fatherhood later this year

  2. #2
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    What are your concerns Dog

  3. #3
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for responding! My concern is preparing myself for how he will be affected and his ability to handle this new baby coming in 2 months, when in truth he is not handling his own life, I am feeling like he should
    take care of himself , get his life under control and then see where things are, you know just be focusing on being well and not pretending he has things under control. Its a very strange situation when you know he
    is lost, but he doesn't seem to know how lost he is himself. As the mother, it is sad to see my daughter
    learning how serious his problems are. I can see the reality hitting her , and that is a good thing. I am
    just feeling a need to just put this out there , trying to educate myself on what this is all going to mean to
    all of us . Thanks again for even caring, that was very kind of you. take care

  4. #4
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    guess hes better off on suboxone than the alternatives. but its still an opiate. wonder what dose he is on daily. i do know from experience, it is easier to taper off and get clean using subs. lets hope he is aiming to get clean, and not just continue on using.
    best of luck

  5. #5
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    don't know the dose he is on, but when I pick my daughter up , and drop him off where he needs to go, since he does not have wheels, he always wants to get a energy drink @8 am, then he appears wired and then
    later seems incredibly exhausted, I do know he has pts disorder, it seems like he is bi-polar with the extreme highs and lows, i don't know or think he is as serious about getting better if he starts his day like that??????

  6. #6
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    can you ask him what dose he is on.? basically if he is on anything higher than 8mg a day. he is on too much. yeh thats why hes wired to start, and nodding off later. too much.
    and unfortunately its up to him to want to stop. no other reason will make him do that.

  7. #7
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Listen to Cheeky she knows how to do this, I know little about subs. However she is right he has got to want to do this. You may have to get out of the way and let the inevitable happen at some stage. The only catalyst for change with us is pain. It is not fun anymore. And remeber this is a disease not a weakness of character Hang tight we are here for you Dog
    toni.s. and Sunny mom like this.

  8. #8
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Suboxone has it's side effects, but used properly he should be able to function and live a quite normal life. And yes, should be able to care for a baby along with your daughter safely. You should check and see if he is:

    Mixing Sub with other drugs, such as benzo's or tranquilizers
    Taking too high of a dose
    Abusing the Sub
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

  9. #9
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    he is more wired afterwards, believe me I know that this is an inside deal, and it is all on his terms, and we on the outside are are just going to have to let the chips lie where they lie, I would think and hope that being removed possibly from his cushy living situation at my x-husbands, might give him some wake up or clarity that what he is doing is not the correct path or whatever you want to call it, I feel like he is being
    enabled by not feeling the impact of the situation he is causing on others. He is a chronic complainer and does
    not have the ability to be appreciative his butt is not on the street. He complains about every situation from family giveing him the opportunity to work, being allowed to use the family car and getting speeding tickets
    and not really feeling responsible for anything like that. Do you see enableing this person or something else?
    I honestly do not feel at this stage , he should have any responsibility towards the baby coming in a few months, he in my opinion needs to feel the repercussions of his actions. Can't be around a baby not remembering the last time you called your mom, or the 5th time you lost your phone or money etc. I know my time is not his time, but a babies time is not going to be messed up because someone can't make
    choices that are necessary for well being. Perhaps that will be the pain he gets to feel when his behavior
    will not be subjected to an innocent newborn and he will not be trusted, as he is not trustworthy to himself
    or anyone else. I do speak not from experience as a user/addict but from one who has experienced the
    death of a user brother when I was 18 and he was 20. I have seen the damage to all involved, it's not
    pretty and we all have personal choices that we make all day everyday,that we are lucky enough to be here. I understand the drug is running his life, that is his to figure out, I am just trying to figure out for myself, I can't do anything really for him, but I can for my future grandchild.

  10. #10
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    Not going to be an enable , but strange being around and acting like all is okay, it seems like he just
    needs to be getting help instead of being half alive and behavior is loud and drunklike. I guess I do
    not like the unpredictability of how its all going to be when we are out trying to have time time together as a family

  11. #11
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    If his behavior is up and down, then it appears that something else must be going on. I don't know if he is or not mixing other stuff, but drinking energy drinks like water is probably not helping. I do know that he hasPTSD the post traumatic stress disorder, I do know this is not going to be an easy journey for any of us.
    It appears that he is more out of it then on board, this is very difficult to be around and I really don't know what else to do , other than move along with it all, and just pretend and deal with being around a person
    who can't do anything about it until he feels like it ..............................

  12. #12
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Energy drinks are just that -- I can't imagine anyone getting whacked out on Red Bull, but stranger things have happened. Either he's mixing something with the Sub, abusing it, or taking too much. I would be concerned for my Grand Baby too and if it's that bad, time to sit his rear end down as a family and confront him. Either he gets with it or gets out. He should not be having so many problems with the Sub, he should not be whacked out of his mind, he should be coherent and have a reasonable amount of energy. Sub taken correctly has mild side effects that wouldn't affect others around him (constipation, sweating, changing appetite). I have a sneaking suspicion he's mixing it with benzo's.
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

  13. #13
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    Filled, Read this link.. This is the correct process one should go through to get off SUBS...

    http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

    It has helped many and maybe you could get a good understanding of the correct way. Sounds to me like he is not tapering and taking too much... In my opinion.

  14. #14
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    how would i be able to find out if he is mixing it, asking???????? probably won't want to tell me. We do like each other, i am supportive, but i am not sure of overstepping boundaries just yet, giving him support, building trust, but i think with all his demons/issues, i cant say he really can trust anyone. its sad and i know its a nearly impossible feat to just maintain and have some assemblence of balance everyday, but we are all forging on, and hopefully change to any degree finds its way.

  15. #15
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    the fact of the matter is, Addiction and what it can do is real simple... If left untreated it will kill you or you will end up in jail... Cliche? Yep.... True.... Yep Yep... So, what you need to really think about is, Do you want to reach out and help... If you do, then you need to go at him and challenge him. The fact is, your grandchild is involved and by your own worrds you are scared... So, your options are simple, find out and see how commited he is to want it.... or dance around the subject and play roulette with what could happen...Read over your above posts... i get that you are conflicted, it is not an easy thing to do... The other avenue you could explore is Narconan, which gives support to those suffering through what you are... Not trying to sound harsh, just letting you know it is serious and won't just go away... All my Best.
    LovesAnimals, MP5, toni.s. and 1 others like this.

  16. #16
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    Hope you are feeling great with your freedom !!!!! Hope and only wish you continued personal power with of course help from a greater source which is always available to help strengthen all of us!!!!

  17. #17
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by caughtagain View Post
    the fact of the matter is, Addiction and what it can do is real simple... If left untreated it will kill you or you will end up in jail... Cliche? Yep.... True.... Yep Yep... So, what you need to really think about is, Do you want to reach out and help... If you do, then you need to go at him and challenge him. The fact is, your grandchild is involved and by your own worrds you are scared... So, your options are simple, find out and see how commited he is to want it.... or dance around the subject and play roulette with what could happen...Read over your above posts... i get that you are conflicted, it is not an easy thing to do... The other avenue you could explore is Narconan, which gives support to those suffering through what you are... Not trying to sound harsh, just letting you know it is serious and won't just go away... All my Best.
    well said Reid Dog

  18. #18
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    yes my darling dog, well aware of the reality as i am left as an only sibling due to brother dying of apparent overdose, 12/10/71.............new marriage with daughter and this son in law , just trying to see where this guy is, he is going to the VA everyday before they trust him i guess to give him more than these single doses,so he says, i see them weekly, and its been about 3 weeks now, as i feel he deserves a certain amount of time to get this thing moving on his own, i am just trying to give him that before jumping in
    and getting down and dirty. Its a process for all of us, my daughter and i had many talks before re-involving
    herself with him, and how life will be all about him and what he needs to be doing for himself!!!!!! It unfortunately didn't sink in until the actual
    living with the situation and baby on board from the first time they reunited back in jan. Her sisters informed her also. Now we are just figuring out the fall-out if you will, but i am ecstatic over baby due in 11 weeks.

  19. #19
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    i asked my daughter to find out, i am working on her to get educated about all this, i know she is overwhelmed, i just try to keep her balanced and focused on what she needs to be doing, and try to keep stress in check as all stress she feels goes into the baby!!!!!!!!

  20. #20
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    We are with you filled.. let us know how things are going and how we can help/advise.. Reid

  21. #21
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    GodFilled
    I would ask him straight out what's going on. Tell him you've been educated on the side effects of normal Suboxone therapy and what he's displaying is not right. These are not signs of normal treatment. Tell him your concerned, you have a child and a grand child involved, and if you need to, you will be willing to step in and do what it takes to see they are both safe. I'm not sure what your willing to do, or what you feel is right, but whatever it is, make it count. Don't make empty threats. You ever watched Intervention on TV? They tell the person their options, and then they tell them the consequences if they choose not to accept help/treatment.
    Sunny mom likes this.
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

  22. #22
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    My gratitude goes to all of you for your advice and experience!!!!!!!!!!!! I truly am overwhelmed with thankfulness for all of your community !!!!!!! It helps me tremendously to have all of your personal insights !!!!! Best to all !!!!! Kate
    caughtagain likes this.

  23. #23
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    i am still educating myself, waiting to hear from drs. to see next step, taking it all in so i can be knowledgeable, besides having a deceased brother myself in 1971 from drugs, feel its necessary to be informed before being another monkey on his back. his parents are out west, and have talked to them, and was informed this has been going on for 12 years. Not afraid and have support if needed to make necessary changes to remove him to a different reality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. #24
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Filled , Everyone has given you good suggestions and they are right that is not the behavior on subs. If he does not want to clean up he is a liability to your daughter and grandbaby. Sorry you have to go through this. Have either of you attended Narano /Alanon? Their support and advice would be invaluable right now and the education they can provide. Rx is right in never tell an addict anything you are not willing to follow through with. Please keep posting we are here for you Dog

  25. #25
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey Dog, thanks for being here, like I have said , you are all such an incredible community!!!!! I am in awe of the supportiveness I am recieving!!!!!! Please don't feel an oz. of sorry for me, I am so incredibly blessed with my lottin lotty in life!!!! As you may know, I am a surviving sibling of my brother who passed at 20, in 12/10/71, I was in 12th grade, and as you already can imagine, the holidays weren't so holly!!!!! We have not
    been to these meetings, however I believe we will at some point!!! For the time being I am rapidly closing in with all of the advice from you all,as well as the outside resources ie. actual VA hospital, no names used of course, just gathering it all up!!!! Not to mention my own personal life experience with the family fallout from my brothers early exit from life!!!!!!!!! Kate

  26. #26
    Anonymous Guest

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    Kate...kate...kate....
    see I remembered you switched names...lol
    Marian

  27. #27
    Learning12 is offline Junior Member
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    your good Marian!!! Kate

  28. #28
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Learning12 View Post
    Hey Dog, thanks for being here, like I have said , you are all such an incredible community!!!!! I am in awe of the supportiveness I am recieving!!!!!! Please don't feel an oz. of sorry for me, I am so incredibly blessed with my lottin lotty in life!!!! As you may know, I am a surviving sibling of my brother who passed at 20, in 12/10/71, I was in 12th grade, and as you already can imagine, the holidays weren't so holly!!!!! We have not
    been to these meetings, however I believe we will at some point!!! For the time being I am rapidly closing in with all of the advice from you all,as well as the outside resources ie. actual VA hospital, no names used of course, just gathering it all up!!!! Not to mention my own personal life experience with the family fallout from my brothers early exit from life!!!!!!!!! Kate
    Kate don't feel sorry for you . I do admire your concern for your grand daughter and daughter, and your grit. Please let us know how things are going Dog

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