[sisterwin2]

Originally Posted by racinmason001

I am still here! Have not taken anything else! LIFE SUCKS!!! I shouldn't say this but I have to drink to sleep. I thought I slid by too what a let down I feel so weak right now!!! Got buds calling about vikes and perks but I just want to be clean! How do I do this? If I F@#k this up I am kissing my wife and kids goodbye!!!

I know you can do this........ have you ever wd from the perc before.... if so you have to remember how nasty that was..... is this as bad as that?????? You just keep telling yourself what you will have to go thru if you pick up again. Its not worth the slight relief you will get for only a few hours then all hell will break loose. I want you to look in you kida eyes and know how badly they need you. Using, your not worth shi" to them or your wife. Remember you do have a choice in this...... I know you can do it. So just make the choice not to fu"" up. Buck up.....

I would also tell you "friend" what your accomplishing here.... if they are friends they will lay off on bringing up the percs, Tell them that too, ok. Do everything you can to protect yourself right now.

Sister

[Robert_325]

sister is right in that "BUDS" don't try to get you to relapse. Screw them. You don't use. That is how you get through this. It's not a game. This is your life. You stay clean and things get bettter. You make the choice to use and whatever happens you caused it yourself. Life is about choices and this is a pretty important one. I hope you choose life over addiction. LIFE DOESN'T SUCK. Life is great. ADDICTION SUCKS.

[racinmason001]

Still here no relapse! Just trying to get by. I just hate that voice in my head saying you can be better in minutes! I will continue to be strong! I will start light excersises with my wife tomorrow hopefully that will make me feel better! Do any of you have any good ideas on helping my self feel better? I just don't want to go back! Thanks guys!

[melinda7.5]

Hi Racinmason
Your doing great!!I have made it 2 weeks now,It is nice to wake up and not run for my pills.Its like i finally woke up from mt nightmare.
If you need anything ill be here for awhile we are on the same time zone.

[racinmason001]

I got up this morning feeling "ok" I really don't know what ok is anymore! I did some mild exercises and went to sleep! Man this is so hard to get back to normal life! I still havent used anything so I am proud of that! OH!!!! Yeah "buds" numbers are blocked!!!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by racinmason001

I got up this morning feeling "ok" I really don't know what ok is anymore! I did some mild exercises and went to sleep! Man this is so hard to get back to normal life! I still havent used anything so I am proud of that! OH!!!! Yeah "buds" numbers are blocked!!!

Good for you for blocking those numbers. That shows some sincerity about doing this. You will be successful if you just don't use. It's very simple, but not easy.

There is no normal life, there is only life. You will go insane trying to find what normal is. We start having our own form of normalcy when we obtain some clean time. Every one of us has a different definition. For me normal is giving thanks in the morning for another day when I deserve to be dead many times over, refusing to use throughout the day no matter what happens, I talk with others who are in recovery or are focused on Christ, I read from the Bible, I try to do at least one nice thing for someone without them knowing about it and before I go to sleep at night I thank God for helping me through another day being clean and for helping me to glorify Him in what I did during the day. If you stay clean for long enough you will determine what is normal for your life too. God bless.

[racinmason001]

Thanks Robert! I am really doing this!!! I went to the top of the mountain by my house today by myself. Took my guns a let em rip! MAN!!!! That was invigorating! I am going again tomorrow! I really am feeling better I thought it would never happen! I still have weak legs, teary eyes when I yawn but my ol lady got me on some crazy vitamins that are supposed to help me get my strength back! Just pluggin on is all I can say! STILL CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!

[hopefulgirl]

Then u need to choose if u want to keep ur wife and kids or do u want to just temporaily fix urself with more drugs, then when the drugs are gone again, u'll be facing the same choice or maybe not, if u loose them. U can do this, I am just staring out on Suboxone, so am new to it, but i am not new to almost loosing my husband and children, or house because of my addiction....Don't answer when those so called "friends" call u that have vics & percs, they are not ur friends, they just want some money & at ur expense, take their number out of ur phone, thats what i did, u have to sometimes change ur people, places & things, good luck 2 you I am prayin for u!!!!

[racinmason001]

12 days still pluggin away! I am feeling strange right now, not good, not bad. I am excersing everyday trying to produce natural endorphines! I am feeling a lil weak compared to yesterday but I still don't want to use!

[sisterwin2]

Originally Posted by racinmason001

12 days still pluggin away! I am feeling strange right now, not good, not bad. I am excersing everyday trying to produce natural endorphines! I am feeling a lil weak compared to yesterday but I still don't want to use!

Racinma........... I am very proud of you.... I have to admit, with the friends calling I thought we would loose you. YOU ARE STRONG!

What I am doing to help me feel better is vits. I gave myself a shot of b12.... taking 1000 of vit c 2x daily and a multivite for the iron.. I am attempting to get off the Suboxone and have not had one since ... I think Sunday. I began feeling it yesterday and I am just attempted to ignore it and stay busy at work. I am eating alot of protine (and I hate meat) and going to attempt not to take another suboxone.

I have a script that I filled today for narcan by mouth.. this is just so my psyie thinks I can not use. hehehehe but it works for me right now. I still need that crutch.

Keep posting hun............ we will make it.

Sister

[racinmason001]

Originally Posted by sisterwin2

Racinma........... I am very proud of you.... I have to admit, with the friends calling I thought we would loose you. YOU ARE STRONG!

What I am doing to help me feel better is vits. I gave myself a shot of b12.... taking 1000 of vit c 2x daily and a multivite for the iron.. I am attempting to get off the Suboxone and have not had one since ... I think Sunday. I began feeling it yesterday and I am just attempted to ignore it and stay busy at work. I am eating alot of protine (and I hate meat) and going to attempt not to take another suboxone.

I have a script that I filled today for narcan by mouth.. this is just so my psyie thinks I can not use. hehehehe but it works for me right now. I still need that crutch.

Keep posting hun............ we will make it.

Sister

My wife has me on a ton of vitamins also! I think it helps! I kinda got my mind made up on this one! I WIN!!! IT LOSES!!! I will continue to post because I like all of you, not one has called me a j__kie! That is what I dont need!

[sister'sfriend]

Originally Posted by sisterwin2

Racinma........... I am very proud of you.... I have to admit, with the friends calling I thought we would loose you. YOU ARE STRONG!

What I am doing to help me feel better is vits. I gave myself a shot of b12.... taking 1000 of vit c 2x daily and a multivite for the iron.. I am attempting to get off the Suboxone and have not had one since ... I think Sunday. I began feeling it yesterday and I am just attempted to ignore it and stay busy at work. I am eating alot of protine (and I hate meat) and going to attempt not to take another suboxone.

I have a script that I filled today for narcan by mouth.. this is just so my psyie thinks I can not use. hehehehe but it works for me right now. I still need that crutch.

Keep posting hun............ we will make it.

Sister

I knew you were not feeling well........... you dont have to hide it from me. I was worried you were excerbating. I am glad it just the suboxone. I am a big boy and not easily frightened. LOL>..... lets see if you tell me before you read this.

Love,
Me

[racinmason001]

Still here still clean!!! Just pluggin away. I am very weak! I used to weigh
160lbs I am now down to 144lbs(Just weighed yesterday.) I have no appetite I am eating but not really enjoying it. Crazy dreams! Wife says I am talking in my sleep? (Never did that before) Running from people? I still don't want to use though! Trying to get my life back! Thanks for all the support!!!!