[skeleton12]

I came off methadone in April 2008. I have stayed clean. Of course I have cravings, but it has not been a problem. The biggest problem is my personal life. Depression, dealing with stress, my wife left me because she said I was like a different person, cold, I feel the same way. please comment

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by skeleton12

I came off methadone in April 2008. I have stayed clean. Of course I have cravings, but it has not been a problem. The biggest problem is my personal life. Depression, dealing with stress, my wife left me because she said I was like a different person, cold, I feel the same way. please comment

It's the most difficult part of being clean I think. You are starting over dealing with things that have been swept under the rug for so long while you have been using. We have all been through what you describe. It's hard and it's sad that your wife didn't hang in there with you until you could get past this. But I commend you for sticking to your guns and staying clean. Good for you.

I would really suggest some personal support for you at this time. Have you tried NA? Do you have religious convictions? I know that NA got me going in the right direction until the time came that I found Jesus Christ. Then my life changed completely. I am not trying to turn you into a Christian if that is something you don't want to do. This forum is not church. What I am saying is that you need some help dealing with these issues you mention and I am simply offering some suggestions that have helped me and lots of others. Main thing is to do something regardless of which route you choose. Stay in touch. I remember how tough a time you had getting clean. Don't go back. God bless.

[IllMissMyNorcos]

Originally Posted by skeleton12

I came off methadone in April 2008. I have stayed clean. Of course I have cravings, but it has not been a problem. The biggest problem is my personal life. Depression, dealing with stress, my wife left me because she said I was like a different person, cold, I feel the same way. please comment

Hey there..I went back and read all your posts. You've been clean off Methadone for over 6 months...and totally clean. It sounds like getting off the methadone was tough...but you made it. You are doing what a lot of people want so bad. You are strong and an inspiration to people like me who wonder how to live life without this crud. Drugs numb our feelings for so long...it makes sense that you'd feel depression at this point. I am sorry for youe loss with your wife. I hope you can meet someone who loves you for who you really are. Hang in there. You are having a hard time right now...but things will get better.

[skeleton12]

Rob
I would love to go to NA. Thing is, I am in college full time and I have to work full time to support my family. When I feel this way I tell myself to quit being a ************************* and keep truckin'. Eye of the tiger. I was raised a Catholic but through "personal honesty" addmitted to myself that I have a problem believing in God. That said, I found myself praying to him the past few days. While I can do without my wife, my son is depending on me to work, stay off dope, and get my degree so I can better provide for him. This would be easier if my wife would get a job but that has not happened. By the way she came back, she had no money and no place to stay. If I can come of dope I can do damn near anything, but I feel all this is wearing me down, not to the point of using (never) but emotionally and physically. I find myself thinking about death alot lately. No, I am not suicidal, I have too much pride and responsibility for that. Just the same it makes me wonder why is my mind playing these games with me. This too shall pass. I think I know how to handle it but it helps to get input. Things look different from the outside and people have a hard time looking at thier lives and actions this way. That's why I am posting. By the way you seem to always be there for people; you helped me through the withdraws and here you are again. Most people would not waste thier time-- same goes to all who have posted -- from my heart, THANKS TO ALL

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by skeleton12

Rob
I would love to go to NA. Thing is, I am in college full time and I have to work full time to support my family. When I feel this way I tell myself to quit being a ************************* and keep truckin'. Eye of the tiger. I was raised a Catholic but through "personal honesty" addmitted to myself that I have a problem believing in God. That said, I found myself praying to him the past few days. While I can do without my wife, my son is depending on me to work, stay off dope, and get my degree so I can better provide for him. This would be easier if my wife would get a job but that has not happened. By the way she came back, she had no money and no place to stay. If I can come of dope I can do damn near anything, but I feel all this is wearing me down, not to the point of using (never) but emotionally and physically. I find myself thinking about death alot lately. No, I am not suicidal, I have too much pride and responsibility for that. Just the same it makes me wonder why is my mind playing these games with me. This too shall pass. I think I know how to handle it but it helps to get input. Things look different from the outside and people have a hard time looking at thier lives and actions this way. That's why I am posting. By the way you seem to always be there for people; you helped me through the withdraws and here you are again. Most people would not waste thier time-- same goes to all who have posted -- from my heart, THANKS TO ALL

I can appreciate you being responsible and wanting to take care of your family. That is a huge sign that you are getting better. But you have to do what helps you continue to improve or you won't be the man you can be for your son. You need to look out for yourself too. You deserve it.

Meetings only last an hour. I mean really ... you can sneak an hour in if it will help you with your sanity and overall well being. Anyone has ONE HOUR. I really mean this. You have to place some priority on YOU. Go to www.na.org and that will be the NA World web site. You can enter your location and pull up a meeting schedule for almost anyplace in the world. There are meetings in cities at noon, late afternoon, early evening, late at night, some groups even have meetings at 7:00 in the morning. So whatever your schedule is there ARE meetings that you could fit in. Do it for yourself man. Cut yourself some slack and go be with some other people going through the same thing that you can talk to anytime you need them.

NA saved me. I don't continue to do meetings daily anymore but I still recommend them. I personally found that Jesus Christ was what turned me around. But that is me. Whatever works for you is what you need to do. But don't continue to ignore your needs because you have to take care of everyone else. That is the easiest dilemna in the world to fall into and it leads to relapse I PROMISE. Do this for yourself. God bless.

[Psyched]

Skeleton,
Congratulations on getting clean. Robert is right though, you need to do this for you so you CAN keep helping your son. Like I tell some of the patients I have, "If you don't take care of you, chances are no one else will either." Also, you have the best reason in the world to invest in yourself-your son! If you need help finding NA MEETINGS, I'd also suggest looking in the paper at the announcements page or simply call your local hospital. You've come so far and owe it to yourself and your loved ones. Good luck.