[texassweetpea]

I made up my mind a lil over a week ago to quit popping pills. I had just gone thru 4 days of terrible withdrawals when i ran outta lortab before I could get it refilled. I don't ever wanna go thru that again...I had been having to withdraw once a month...3-4 days of laying in bed delirious. I also stopped taking klonopin 2 weeks ago. I was prescribed 6mg a day but towards the end i was popping them by the handful just to feel something.

Due to a real stupid move on my part, I was unable to get any more klonopin. See I had mailed off for a 90 day supply from a mail order place..thats over 500 pills. My doctor insisted that I have them mailed to her office and the nurse could dole them out to me a month at a a time. Well they screwed up and sent them to my apartment. Of course, I didnt turn them over to the nurse...I just never mentioned it and she is so busy she forgot. Well last tuesday I told my psychiatrist I had weaned myself off the klonopin and no longer wanna take any benzos.

A couple of months ago, I had called my internist to request some lortab as my rx had run out. He is kinda absent minded or just oblivious and he called it in to Walgreens where I don't usually go. I had no idea I had a rx there till they called and told me to come get it. 120 lortab just fell outta the sky. wow. The nurse also refilled my usual rx at another pharmacy that same day which I had already picked up. So being in my own lil lortab world, I figured whats the big deal alternating between the 2 pharmacies. In reality I was only getting each rx 4 days early. It was a 20 day supply. Well a month ago or so for some reason I can't exactly remember, I had my doctor call in more lortab at another pharmacy, CVS. Each one of these rx's had 4 refills! I lost track of when I had it filled and called the original pharmacy to get more pills. Well my insurance said it was too early so my regular pharmacist called them and he started putting it all together. I showed up to pick them up and instead I got a lecture about going to 3 pharmacies and picking up my rx's 4 days early. I realize it all looks very bad. He didnt officially red-flag me...I didnt even know about red-flagging till this past week when I found this site. My doctor doesnt know anything.

Well here I am today feeling so unmotivated. My boyfried was frustrated with me cos he said I couldnt function without pills. I'm smart enuff to know I'm not gonna go doctor-shopping or pharmacy-hopping to get more pills. At this point withdrawals are behind me and its more of a psychological thing. I'm just trying to stay busy and keep my mind off pills. Thanks for letting me vent!

Dana in Texas

[mpvt]

Hi Dana: It's a good thing you have stopped because you could have ended up in jail.Jumping around to different pharmacies will get you nail quick.I'm just telling you this and not nice ladyin at you.When I was actively addicted I did the same thing.It's harder to catch people up here in Canada because there is no central database,so a doctor or a pharmacist has to suspeect something and call the police,an act they don't like to perform.Your past the worst part now you need to get physically active and start eating high protien foods and drink a couple to three sport drinks a day like gatorade ect.Good luck and hang in there you will start to feel better.....Dave

[sparky]

Hi Texas....How are you doing...hope you stuck to your guns and stay off the pills..I am in the same boat...procrastinating about stopping so I have'nt done it yet...i keep pulling out all the excuses..but to comment on your situation...and what I feel I need to do when I finally do get off of these things..is go get suppport from someplace like NA or an addiction counselor specialist of some sort...just a thought...since you've like you said already put yoursellf thru the worst of the withdrawals...they suck for sure....also...I was curious about this red flag thing....pharmacies are all on one data base...whats up with that...how is it that you could get arrested..and what sort of consequence will happen????hang in there OFF the pills

[texassweetpea]

I am hanging in there...just feel very UGH today. I got to kick this problem on my own. I get SSDI for schizoaffective disorder and I can't take a chance on social security finding out. They could stop my benefits. Thanks for yalls input!


Dana in Texas

[jerrymoore]

pharmacies dont have a central database and if they do then my buddy who has 3 different pharmacies for 3 years must be lucky.

People do it all the time, who are undermedicated, and its not as hard as you may think

[cluelessNJ]

Dana~ How are you?

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[texassweetpea]

Thanks for asking! So far so good. The physical withdrawals are behind me...now its just the psychological cravings. Want a pill to get me motivated, etc. Feels so good to have my life back...it had become so unmanageable like it was.

Dana in Texas

[cluelessNJ]

quote:Originally posted by texassweetpea

Thanks for asking! So far so good. The physical withdrawals are behind me...now its just the psychological cravings. Want a pill to get me motivated, etc. Feels so good to have my life back...it had become so unmanageable like it was.

Dana in Texas

I'm so happy to hear that! It will get better and better. I promise you that. The more clean time you get the less cravings you will have. Honestly some days will be better then others. Hang in there and continue to win the battle! I am SO proud of you!!!!!


Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[texassweetpea]

Thank you so much...you don't know how much that means to me. It feels so good to be free of the lortab and klonopin. God I was such a mess on them. My boyfriend was gonna leave me if I stayed that way so I HAS to straighten up my act or else. Well whatever the reason...I am doing it. And thats what counts.

Dana in Texas

[cluelessNJ]

quote:Originally posted by texassweetpea

Thank you so much...you don't know how much that means to me. It feels so good to be free of the lortab and klonopin. God I was such a mess on them. My boyfriend was gonna leave me if I stayed that way so I HAS to straighten up my act or else. Well whatever the reason...I am doing it. And thats what counts.

Dana in Texas

Dana~ Do it for yourself! Love and respect yourself then you will have more love and more respect for others. Since getting clean my relationship has had its highs and lows. I can feel my feelings now. Whereas before I would get high to avoid them. I gnored my needs. Focus on you. Your healing right now. Stay strong and don't use not matter what!

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[cluelessNJ]

Dana~ How are you sweetie? I am thinking about you!

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[texassweetpea]

Well...I asked my boyfriend...i guess I should say my ex-boyfried to move out last friday. It was just time for him to go since he didn't seem to wanna get a job and I can't afford to pay for everything on my SSDI. Last week I had an adverse reaction to a med I take and my mouth & tongue swelled up and I couldnt eat or drink! So my doctor called in some pain meds for me and I was very hesitant about taking them. But I found I am strong enough to take them as directed cos I was in soooooo much pain. I have been taking them 1-2 at a time like he said..not 6 at a time like i used to.

I know it may seem that I have "fallen off the wagon" per se but I am very much in control. Thanks for worryin about me...I'm doing fine.


Dana in Texas

[betsy_still_tokes]

God bless you. I know it's hard, and I work, and work, and excercise as much self-control as my heart can muster, but Lord knows I fall sometimes too. It's a lonely road, and a rocky one at that.

Jesus Christ will help you through. -Betsy