[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by GottaStop

Hey guys, just wanted to give you an update on my situation.

Since I last posted, I unfortunately continued the taper for a couple days until I got to 1 pill on Monday. That was the last pill I had and my supply is now clean out.

I am now on day 3 of zero pills. To be honest, getting through the day hasn't been TOO bad. As long as I keep my mind off of it, I seem to get through the day relatively unscathed, aside from the pain and restlessness in my arms and legs and the ever frequent trip to the bathroom. Unfortunately for me, the demons seem to come out at night when I'm trying to sleep. The only sleep I've gotten since starting the taper can be credited to alcohol and Tylenol PMs.

The hardest part has been trying to combat the tricks my mind constantly tries to play on me. I tell myself I need it for the pain, I tell myself I must not be an addict if my withdrawl symptoms aren't that bad, etc. It's really disheartening to know that even though I am the one who made the decision to stop for myself, I am still my own worst enemy.

Part of us wants to get better, part of us doesn't.

Tomorrow morning I leave for a 3 day trip out of state, so I guess one can argue my timing isn't exactly on point. But if I can get through tonight without going out and buying some pills, the next time you hear from me I will be 6 or 7 days clean.

Maybe this trip is a blessing in disguise.

Hope you are still on to get a couple of suggestions. For the trips to the bathroom take some Immodium as needed. It has an opiate base, it will help but won't affect your recovery negatively. This also leaves one dehydrated. Drink lots of Gatorade. It's full of electrolytes and will help you feel better. Hot baths will help at night with the restlessness. That is one of the worst symptoms. The hot bath or shower will give you some relief. Do it right before bed and it will help you relax.

You are still going through the physical part of this but obviously the mental part is starting to really hit as well. It can be the most difficult. Continue to post and you will receive lots of support. Take advantage of people trying to help. We all needed help too. Stay in touch. Good luck and God bless.

[GottaStop]

Thanks Robert.

You have no idea how much it means. I have read almost all the advice you've given to everyone on this board and it seems that everybody, including me really looks up to you. It's very rare for someone who's been through what you have to be willing to devote so much time and energy to helping others.

I have been doing the Immodium and Gatorade cocktail for a couple days. It definitely helps curb the bad stomach symptoms a little bit. I have to try the bath before bedtime thing, I could use all the help I can get with the restlessness while sleeping, it is just unbearable. I also read somewhere on here about staggering Tylenol and Motrin every 2 hours, which I have also been doing. Take it from me folks, that combo along with a nice walk around the block work wonders on the leg and arm pain and restlessness.

I do feel like I'm on the homestretch, unfortunately the only thing that stands in my way is my mental addiction, which in my case is appearing to be way worse than my physical one. As my physical withdrawl symtoms dwindle, my brain is wanting the drug more and more.

Let's hope I can combat these demons and be done with this already, it's been a long time coming.

[jdoe08]

I feel like I landed in a gold mine with all of your helpful and encouraging comments... No one knows about my addiction, not even my fiancee whom I will be marrying two months (one of my motivations for quitting). I've been taking Vicodin unprescribed for almost three years now. I have pretty much the same story as everyone else; I got up to about 15 10mg Vics a day, and was able to wean myself down to three a day. When my fiancee announced a week-long business trip, I felt like it was a sign that it was the perfect opportunity to go cold turkey and hole myself up for a few days to get the 72 hour withdrawals out of the way. Luckily I also have this time off from work, and I can't imagine how some of you were able to hold down your job while getting through these awful pains. So far (on day one) I've had a lot of muscle and bone pain, as well as anxiety, diarrhea, and cold sweats. The only help I've found is smoking a little marijuana every 6 hours or so. I'm scared about going back to work Thursday, I'm scared about what day two will bring tomorrow, and I feel guilty for hiding this from everyone for so many years. But, I'm only 24, and I feel like I have a full life ahead of me pill-free. There are 40 pills left in my cabinet, and I don't know what to do with them. They were $4 a piece, so I feel like I should sell them, but I think looking at them would just make me take them and make this whole process a wash. Thanks again to people like Robert_325 who continue to support us newbies in the daunting and terrifying journey ahead. If anyone needs a friend the next couple days, I'll be here: irnh08@live.com

[Robert_325]

If you have been taking that much Hydrocodone for three years you will likely have to deal with this for longer than three days. You will have a good portion of the very worst done by then, but don't give up when you have to go back to work. Just realize this will probably last another few days realistically. You may luck out but just be prepared if it takes a little longer. You are doing the right thing getting this off your back while you are young. You do have the rest of your life ahead like you said. Just hang in there. Forget about screwing up in the past and not being honest about things. That is a part of the deal for everyone. Forget it and focus on what you can do to grow beyond the hydros.

When these three days are up and you have to face people again make up something if you have to. Tell them what you have to ... whatever it takes. Just stick it out ... don't give in to the frustrations and being ill. You will be happy about this when it's all over.

I really don't know what to tell you about the pills you have except that if you took them like you had planned on you would be out the money anyway. You had planned on taking them and spending the money. So I would get rid of them. It's money you already spent and having them around is like setting yourself up for a fall. It's not worth any amount of money to blow this. Can you put a price on your future with your girlfriend??? Get rid of them. They go down the toilet quickly and it will make you stronger and proud of yourself. I guarantee that. Screw a couple hundred bucks! Good luck and God bless.

[jdoe08]

Well, last night was pretty bad. I slept for a couple hour intervals until I couldn't stand the sweating and pain anymore. It's not as bad as it looks on the movies, like I thought it would be, but it still sucks. Part of the price you pay for your mistakes, like Robert said. I discovered I can't do too much research at one time on this subject, or I'll end up thinking about nothing else the rest of the day. Hot baths and an aspirin rotation definitely help, as well as light exercise (if your muscles and bones can get you off the couch, it really is worth it) and keeping your mind busy. I just had a couple more questions:

Do you think I should ever tell anyone (husband, family, etc.) about this after I get clean for a while, or should I just let bygones be bygones and eventually forget about it (is that possible??)

Also, if I ever have to tell my doctor not to prescribe these to me, would it negatively affect my insurance or change my rapport with my doctors?

And does anyone know if GottaStop made it through his trip and is still clean?

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by jdoe08

Well, last night was pretty bad. I slept for a couple hour intervals until I couldn't stand the sweating and pain anymore. It's not as bad as it looks on the movies, like I thought it would be, but it still sucks. Part of the price you pay for your mistakes, like Robert said. I discovered I can't do too much research at one time on this subject, or I'll end up thinking about nothing else the rest of the day. Hot baths and an aspirin rotation definitely help, as well as light exercise (if your muscles and bones can get you off the couch, it really is worth it) and keeping your mind busy. I just had a couple more questions:

Do you think I should ever tell anyone (husband, family, etc.) about this after I get clean for a while, or should I just let bygones be bygones and eventually forget about it (is that possible??)

Also, if I ever have to tell my doctor not to prescribe these to me, would it negatively affect my insurance or change my rapport with my doctors?

And does anyone know if GottaStop made it through his trip and is still clean?

Don't know why I asked you about your girlfriend in the last post. Guess I thought you were John Doe rather than Jane Doe. LOL Doesn't really matter, but it does show how anomymous and safe we are here.

You are so right about spending too much time researching or focusing on drugs during a detox. It's not productive at all considering what it does to our thinking. I still don't watch "drug" movies very often to this day. It can cause mini-flashbacks and I don't enjoy that.

After taking Hydros at the quantity you have taken them and the time you have taken them, you will probably have lingering thoughts of the past for a long time. I know that I do. Most all of us do. I don't think it SHOULD cause harm to your relationship with your family or boyfriend to share about it, but obviously you would know better than anyone else about that. I see no reason to bring it up if it would compromise your future at all. You just have to think and make your own decision there. But it might help you face your demons more easily down the road if you didn't have to hide your history with your family or your husband. That makes sense to me anyway. I wouldn't lie if asked directly, but sometimes it's best to leave things alone. You have to make your own decision on this. Just consider all aspects of the situation. You may need their support some time over this, and it would be easier if you didn't have to explain why you didn't tell them. But the flipside of that is obvious if they are very conservative and narrow-minded about something like this. Good luck.

Your rapport with your doctor is a similar situation to the one we just discussed. I don't know how your dr feels about drugs. Had he/she prescribed them, it would likely be different. Drs aren't supposed to judge us on moral issues, they are supposed to treat us medically. But it's human nature to form opinions, even for drs. I probably would not go into it unless I had to for whatever reason. I wouldn't lie to a direct question, but I probably wouldn't offer to spill my guts either.

The above post is the last we have heard from Gotta Stop ... hoping the best and that it all worked out. Lots of times when people get clean they don't post any longer. We never know when that happens how it worked out for them. That is one of the reasons I like it when people come back and check in, sharing their success story with others. It lets people know how they have done, plus it helps new people to see that others who are suffering do get better. Hope this answers your questions.

Keep us posted how you are doing. You're sounding great considering you are at 36 hours... a little longer now. Sounds like it's going lots better than it could be anyway. Stay focused. God bless.

[jdoe08]

I did it! Not only did I make it through three days of withdrawals, but I also managed to part with the 40 pills haunting me in my cabinet. Yesterday, I slept for 18 of 24 hours, so I managed to go through part of this the easy way. Even though my body still aches a lot and I have some stomach cramps, I actually went out into the world today and ran errands. I haven’t been able to do anything without taking a Vicodin first for almost three years, and I actually feel more like myself than I have in awhile. I know the road ahead is still full of obstacles, but the worst is over (I think.) Here are some things I did to deal with the withdrawals:

Tylenol PM Extra Strength
Motrin Back and Body
Warm Epsom salt bath
Sprite and juice
Walking around the block and stretching
A couple shots of alcohol before bed to fall asleep more easily

Get involved with people going through the same thing as you are. If you can’t face going to any kind of meeting (like me) find an anonymous website (if not this one, there are others like it) and share your story and get some helpful advice.

I credit Robert_325 for holding my hand through this ordeal and getting me through it. When I was too ashamed to talk to anyone else, he was the one to listen without judging, and offer factual and helpful information, as well as encouragement. You should get a job as a drug counselor! You’re right about the decision ahead to tell my family. For now, I plan on focusing on starting a new (and honest) life with my husband-to-be, and learning how to cope with life without hiding behind pills. I have to go back to work tomorrow, but I’ll try and let you know how I am progressing. Thanks again, you’re really a lifesaver.

And to those of you starting out, even though you probably will think about pills every 30 seconds or so (like I am) the freedom from the burden of your guilt and secrets will override those temptations. If I can do it, I promise you can.

[Robert_325]

Congratulations on making it these three days! It will continue to get better. I am really proud of you getting rid of those pills. They were definitely a concern. I won't ask what you did with them ... they are gone and that is what matters. You have a lot of motivation to stay clean with a new marriage coming up. Hope to keep hearing good news from you. God bless.

[jdoe08]

Well, I think I made a mistake. No, I didn't relapse. I PROMISE. I told my fiancee about my problem... over the phone while he is on a business trip. I know; it was stupid. He seems to be taking it almost too well. Of course, because I made the asinine decision to tell him on the phone, I am having a hard time gauging his true feelings. He'll be home tomorrow, so we'll see if he really sticks around. All I know is that I'm taking full responsibility, not playing the victim card or pity party, and will (eventually and hopefully) earn his trust back. You know what they say about hindsight, but I am sort of regretting telling him. I feel like a big load has been lifted off my shoulders, but at the same time the disappointment I know he has in me is worse than any withdrawal symptom. So, my advice to you is to think very very very very carefully before you choose to share your burden with another person. Just because it might make you feel better doesn't necessarily mean you're doing them any good.

As for work, I was a royal mess yesterday and today. Throwing up, diarrhea, aches, tremors, anxiety... For some reason day 4 and 5 were not nearly as easy as 1-3. I did make it though, and that's at least something. I actually picked up my Bible and prayed these last five days, which I haven't done in a long while, to say the least. As cheesy as it sounds, it made a big difference. Just try it, you don't have to do it again if you don't like it, but I bet you it will help even just a little

Here are some questions:

How do you go about earning the trust back of the person you hid your addiction from? Should I offer to let him check my phone or purse? He would of course never demand such a thing, but I'm desperate to find a way to prove my trustworthiness to him again.

How would I know if the Vicodin has caused any permanent damage from my prolonged and extensive use? Should I get a check-up, or just "wait and see?

Y'all have a good weekend

[Robert_325]

First of all if you have read many of my posts then you know how I feel about the Bible and prayer. God saved my life and there is nothing cheesy about that. All things are possible through Jesus Christ! I thank God every day that He saw fit for me to live beyond my years of insanity. So I think you did the very best thing you could have possibly done in that respect.

If you look at my first reply I told you that this would likely take longer than three days. I knew you could get through it, but I also knew you were likely being overly optimistic to think three days would do it. You got past that and it's the weekend again, so you will be okay.

Telling your fiance was a personal issue, but it's kind of like sharing about a past relationship with someone. We want to be honest, but sometimes it's best to leave things alone. Hopefully your boyfriend will accept that you are attempting to be honest and trying to change for the better and see the good in you for what you have done. If he doesn't then he will be showing his true colors. I think it's best that you see those colors now vs discovering them at a later time. He will probably not freak that bad since you are doing something positive about it. It's not like sleeping with his brother or anything like that. LOL It would upset me if my future partner could not see the sacrifice I was making to change for the better. I wish you luck with this.

No way I would offer to allow ANYONE to search my belongings. Screw that! That about explains my attitude on that. Others may feel differently. But I don't go for that kind of nonsense. Take me like I am or forget it. It's very simple. You will have to do what you think is right. But that is how I feel. Of course I am twice divorced and probably not a good relationship counselor. LOL But I would only go so far with anyone. You shouldn't have to kiss @$$ over this. Just live your life the best you can. That should be enough I think.

I wouldn't be extremely concerned over taking vicodin in the past. The body is very resilient and you are young. Our liver count is often elevated during vicodin abuse. You could have a CBC blood test done after a little time goes by to check your blood work. The liver count would show on the CBC. But other than that I would think you will be just fine. Let us know how you are doing and how it goes this weekend. Good luck to you with your boyfriend.

[aboutit]

Could someone out there please reassure me with their personal experience with the horrible experience of Vicodin withdrawal-here is my situation: I took Vicodin for about a year straight, near the end I was taking about 10 to 12 a day--I know that is not terribly excessive compared to some people's scenarios I have read about (as far as duration and quantity), but none the less, I have been going through hell with this whole withdrawal process. I quite approximately two weeks ago--I have a difficult time with the whole "taper" premise so I quit cold turkey (after using a little Suboxone for a few days that a friend gave me). I know I am preaching to the choir, but that was/is the most horrible experience I have ever experienced. The first 7 days was pure hell for me--you guys know what I am talking about. I will NEVER go through that again, nor would I wish that experience upon my worst enemy. The reason I am writing this post is because tomorrow will be two weeks and I am still not feeling that well. I know it takes time, and I certainly am feeling much better than last week, but I am still extremely uncomfortable--I just so want to feel better mentally and physically. I just thought by two weeks I would feel much better than this, and it really sucks. I thank God that I have a little Xanax a friend gave me, but I still wake up after just a few hours of sleep (when I do go to sleep because I am so tense). I am horribly depressed which I know is a side effect of the withdrawal process. I just feel seriously under the weather and all I can pretty much do is sit around because I have absolutely no energy, have bowel issues, and just feel plain ********************py. I know I just need to be patient, but could some of you give me some feedback with your own experiences so I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and I will begin to feel like a normal human being! Maybe explain to me how long it took some of you to feel truly better. Thank you!

[jdoe08]

Hello! I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Today has marked the two week anniversary of being painkiller free, and I'm STILL having issues (insomnia, anxiety, diarrhea...) However, I have found two natural remedies that have made all the difference in the world. (I too ran out of my short Xanax supply from the doctor.) Valarian root and Kava Kava are both natural herbs you can find at virtually any herbal supply store. They helped me with the sleep problems, anxiety, restless legs, and general irritability. Honestly, it's the only non-prescription solution I've found (thus far.) Hang in there, though, I promise it will get better. Feel free to contact me if you need any more support or advice.

[Cece123]

Hi all-I have been reading all of this today and realize that I may have a problem. I never knew that it could get this out of control. It all started about a year and a half ago when I got a severe case of bronchitis. I was prescribed a strong cough medicine with coedine. I stayed sick and coughed for a year and my doctor kept prescribing me the cough medicine. Of course, I would really cough harder when I went into the office! I wanted to make sure that I got my cough medicine. My claims were valid though-I did have a cough and I seriously hate to cough. I probably went through about 14 to 15bottles in a year. I would take it even if I wasn't coughing. I even was able to talk my mother into having the bottle that she had on hand. It was gone in a few days. Then I moved on to Vicodin and even resorted to taking my dog's Tramadol for his back pain. I think that is when I sunk the lowest-calling the vet and saying that my dog's back hurt and that I needed some Tramadol for him. After that was goine, I called them back and told them taht I had lost the bottle and needed a refill. How sad is that? I don't take the Vic during the day but just take 2 when I get home. I am too chicken to increase the dose. That's it-I just take 2 a day. But I crave those two and get so excited when I know that I am going to get to take them. I have been out of pills now for two days and I feel like *ss. I am so stunned that two little pills would have such a huge effect on me. I avoid doing anything social because I want to stay home and take my pills. Now I realize that I have a problem and it has got to stop!

Last year was a tough one for me. It was also a very happy one. I met the man of my dreams and we got engaged. Within a few months, his little sister was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer. She was gone within 6 months. She died a few days before Christmas. We were married a month before that and then two months before that, I lost my dog to cancer. Ironically enough, they both had the same form of cancer. Losing my beloved dog and my beautiful little sister (sister in law but felt more like sister) was too much too take so I justified taking pills. It numbed me and took the pain away. Now I know that life must go on and I have to get back to my self again. No one knows about this and no one will. I have to destroy my own demons.

Thanks to all of you out there for posting your stories. It has made me realize that I have to stop and stop now. I am killing myself. I am so nauseaus right now that I think that I moght die. When does this go away?? I am off next week thank God and can try and recover but I feel like I am going to come right out of my skin!

[randomguy]

I Have a question for any one who might know. 3 years ago when I was 20 years old I started eating the 10mg vicodon started one every few days. Then Two a day. This went on for about 6 or 7 months, but by the last few months I was eating around 7 or 8 a day. I quit cold turkey but by tapering them off and dont remember the withdrawls being too bad. Then around a year ago I statred eating them again maybe only for a month or so and never more than 3 or 4 a day. I went through the worst withdrawls for three or four days,cold sweats, restless legs, couldnt sleep, aches. then it go so bad went to the Doc and got suboxone but everything was really expensive. He prescribed me clonodine, and 16 suboxone. dissolved one suboxone that day and within an hour it felt like i had taken 15 vicodon so strong i threw up but the withdrawls went away immediatley and never needed to eat another subxoxone the next day I was back to normal. My friend was addicted to oxycontin snorting those 80mg two a day sometimes more and he was going through withdralws let him use my remaining suboxone. Now since that episode its been a year and recently I ate half a 30mg percocet one night then the half the other night waited a day and did it again. Over the next 4 days I split 80mg oxycontin into fourths and ate one a day. Now i stopped and am going through withdrawls like before but have no way to get more suboxone. This is now my third day. I feel like an idiot for eating all these pk's and for sure will not do it again. How long can these withdrawls last? I have vicodon in my possession but am not going to eat it because then all of this will be for nothing. I have always felt i get more physically addicted then mentally addicted to these any help and easing the withdrawl sysmptoms especially restless leg.

[HopefulGuy]

Before I share my experience, I wanted to really express how helpful, encouraging, genuine, etc.. all you guys are with your words and experiences and especially real advice. I never ever write on discussion boards, except for my other addiction, fantasy sports but this was something different. You see, I actually stumbled upon this forum when doing a simple google search about vics and withdrawel symptoms. After suddenly being drawn into all the posts, I realized I had a more serious issue than when I first turned on my computer.

I certainly do not claim to be on the same level of usage as others here but I definitely feel I'm on the same boat. I'm now 27 and starting a few yrs ago I've dabbled with vics and some percs recreationally (i've never had a prescription). About a year ago it was much more frequent, and for the past 6 months its been an everyday occurence with my peak being 8-9 7.5mg vics/day. In the recent months its been about 4-5 7.5mg a day. Again, not the worst addict, but still equally as disappointing. What's ironic is when my usage started to be a bit more consistent, I clearly remember telling myself that I this is just for fun and it's not a real problem or habit and how silly it would be if it DID become a problem, which seemed so far fetched at the time. Jokes on me.

Some of the worst times I've had was probably when I literally stole my sisters bottle of hydrocodone that she got from a root canal. Twice. Or calling everyone on my contact list to see if someone has a dealer. Unfortunately I did find one who almost always was able to provide me some. I didn't even mind spending $12 for a 10mg pill (RIDICULOUS!). As I started to make more money, I started to buy more until it became very consistent. So, currently I took 1 5mg pill 4 days ago and that was the last time I've had any. The reason I started researching is b/c i started to feel aches in my lower back and leg joints, restlessness, no sleep, less appetite, overall uneasiness, and just plain feel like hell. Then I read this forum and all you guys have similar situations which was very helpful for me. I've since bought a heat pack for my back, and tylenol PMs. Let's see how that goes.

My dealer has actually been out of his "inventory" but has been sending me messages that he will have more and will contact me. It's been about 4 days and I think this is the time to say goodbye. I am pretty afraid however, that when he does send me a message that he has more for me, how I will react. I can't go through this withdrawel phase again, its soooo sucky but so far I don't feel like taking these vics at this rate has really affected my life in a negative way. Except for the fact that nobody, i mean NOBODY knows how frequent I use it. So, bottom line, I am a confused soul with my situation and can see that this cannot continue forever. This is tough, man, very tough right now. I hope ya'll aren't bored with this stuff and hear my thoughts so you can relate as well. Any replies are truly appreciated. Thanks.

[aboutit]

Day 21 today, but I am STILL not feeling 100 percent. I am certainly a ton better than I was, but it just sucks to still be lethargic, hot and sweaty feeling, and not able to sleep. I know this is a slow process considering I took at least 10 vicodins every day for a year straight. I now find myself having relatively decent days where I say to myself, "man, I think I am finally getting better," but then the next day I am hurting again--frustrating to say the least! Does anyone else have any feedback as far as how long it actually took them to really feel well after abusing opiates for a year? Thanks as always, it really is helpful to hear other people's stories--it is nice to know you all know what I am going through.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by aboutit

Day 21 today, but I am STILL not feeling 100 percent. I am certainly a ton better than I was, but it just sucks to still be lethargic, hot and sweaty feeling, and not able to sleep. I know this is a slow process considering I took at least 10 vicodins every day for a year straight. I now find myself having relatively decent days where I say to myself, "man, I think I am finally getting better," but then the next day I am hurting again--frustrating to say the least! Does anyone else have any feedback as far as how long it actually took them to really feel well after abusing opiates for a year? Thanks as always, it really is helpful to hear other people's stories--it is nice to know you all know what I am going through.

aboutit ... Lots of people after using heavily for a good while have a pretty crummy detox even for a month or longer sometimes. We have put our bodies through lots of trauma. There is no regular amount of time to expect in detox for a certain amount of time using. It took me months to straighten out in detox ... had seizures at 2-3 months. Couldn't speak in complete sentences, it was a mess. But this is as good as I am going to get I'm afraid now. Ten Vics a day for over a year is terrible for your liver. And a year is a good while doing at least 10 Vics a day. You were likely consuming toxic amounts of apap daily. The liver is resilient and will probably be just fine. All I am saying is this is what it is, hang in there, just take care of yourself from this point forward. Good luck.

PS .. 21 days is great. Cut yourself some slack. Don't expect so much too fast. Take care.

[Robert_325]

You say that your life really hasn't been messed up from the RX drugs, not the worst addict but disappointing, you've been through repeated w/ds, have literally stolen your own sister's medication so you could get high twice, have your "contact" sending text messages so you'll know when more get in, calling everyone in your contact list until finding a new dealer. LOL This all sounds pretty consumed with drugs to me. Not judging, been there, just making a point. You need to own your problem (if you think you have a problem) or you won't be successful stopping the pills.

Why do you have to wait until your life is "destroyed" before it makes sense to fly straight??? I don't understand that, and that is where it starts to get dangerous ... when a person decides to JUST make sure they don't destroy their life. There is a lot in between having a great life and destruction. You are 27 years old. You can tell you're bright from your posts. Take care of yourself so you can have a good life. It would be foolish to let these past days without drugs be for nothing. We will be here if we can help you. Hope you stick this out. Good luck and God bless.

[Robert_325]

You are correct in that lots of us did bring this on ourselves at least to an extent. I sincerely hope the taper works for you. I never had good luck tapering as I would always end up cheating and making up for any progress I made by eating up everything before I reached the finish line. LOL But thats just me. Hope you do better. Keep us posted how it goes. It's always positive to see someone able to do the taper correctly and not have any problems. Good luck.

[aboutit]

Thanks Robert,

Thanks a lot for your reply. Yeah, I know I can not expect to feel 100 percent even after three weeks. It is still nice to hear someone else confirm that fact from personal experience. Even though I am quite educated on physiology and pharmacokinetics etc., I still was needing to hear from one of you that it is not unusual to still be hurting after three weeks (I find myself being inpatient and frustrated, but I know it is going to take time). As you stated, I have put my body through a tremendous ordeal, and it is no wonder that I am still not feeling that well. I found it interesting that you mentioned the acetaminophen factor, because I certainly think that the daily ingestion of that, not just the hydrocodone, is also contributing to my slow recuperation. I appreciate everyone's feedback; I know I just need to be patient. I am so eager to feel like myself again, you know, not being dead tired, anxious, can have regular bowels, and just not feel plain horrible. Also, I can not wait to just be tired and fall asleep without that tense feeling across your upper back, arms, and legs, like you could just crawl out of your skin—thank goodness I have some Xanax or I do not think I could have done this without professional help. This whole withdrawal thing has really turned me off to the whole opioid scene--I will NEVER go through the hell I have been through again.

[Robert_325]

Yes .. the acetaminophen content in ten lortabs is 25% over the toxic level for a day ... 5000mg vs 4000mg being the limit for a day if it's spread throughout the day. Doing that daily for over a year in itself can cause abdominal pain, pain that can be felt in the sides and lower back, there are all kinds of possible symptoms. Apap becomes garbage quickly in high doses. We can feel badly for a good while after stopping opiates.

I respect people who have been able to stay clean long term without any professional help. I tried and had only some success relapsing a few times. Finally I was able to get some considerable clean time, but it wasn't easy. Had lots of long lasting effects of my insanity. And believe me when I say that I too am turned off to opiates. I am full, just can't take them anymore and survive.

[HopefulGuy]

Robert, I admire your dedication to this forum and appreciate your insight because it's little things that help people along the way. As you pointed out, and I laughed a little after realizing, I guess this all has in fact made a negative impact on my life.

It's day 6 (or 5 1/2 technically) andI haven't heard from my "contact" yet, which is actually very odd b/c he always seems to keep in touch with me every other day. Thanks God though. I feel a lot better than a few days ago, not fully there but it seems like I can see the light. I can see that this w/d period will be quite different for every individual since we have different types of usage, different body types, etc. but either way, I strongly believe if you TRULY want to live your life for what it's meant to be and not let it be run by this damn little pill, that anyone can get through this. To have strong people around you, and places like this site where you can relate and be encouraged, is essential to escaping the grasp these opiates have on us. For anyone who has experienced strong lower back pain like myself, I've been using those thermal heat packs you strap around yourself which you buy at your local CVS, Rite Aid, etc. It helps relax my tension. For other pains and sleeplessness, Tylenol PMs have been doing the job pretty well so far. Also, throughout the day at work, I'm downing green teas, POM juice, and water. It feels like that is helping to flush out and detox my system a bit faster.

Each clean day I've woken up feeling slightly better than the day before. Today, day 6, I feel like I've taken a big step in waking up from this mess and will keep reaching until I'm out. Coincidentally, as I started walking to my train to go to work, the first song's lyrics that started playing on my ipod actually caught my attention instantly:

"...I haven't felt the way, I feel today ..in so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this feels like a waking limb, pins and needles, nice to know you!
Good BYEEEEE, NICE TO KNOW YOU! "

-"Nice to know you"
Incubus

Everyone keep on your path and don't ever veer away from it. Eventually we'll all say goodbye to what has turned out to be pain-givers.

[jdoe08]

Congratulations you guys that have made it this far! I know it's quite a feat and that you probably never knew you had this kind of strength. I'm working on week three of vic sobriety myself, and it was very refreshing to hear that w/d's at this stage are (somewhat) normal. Each day is getting better but my symptoms are the same as aboutit's right now. Gary, I'm surprised your PCP gave you Valium and Soma after confessing a pill addiction. I don't say this judgmentally, I only say this because I went to mine hoping to get something similar, and they turned me away like a leper. I'm a bit thankful, though, considering that I probably would've gotten hooked on whatever anti-anxiety-restless-irritated pill I could've gotten my grubby hands on. Slightly depressing to think about. The difference between you and I is that I never had a legitimate long-term pain management problem, so I'm praying and sending good vibes your way that you'll find some way to cope with the back problems. Well, I really needed some encouragement today so thanks to everyone for posting.

[DodgedABullet]

Hello everyone,

I'm on day three (or four, maybe) of withdrawal from Vicodin/Percocet/Lortab. I think I can count my blessings, as my addiction never really got to the level that some of the other people here have had to deal with--at my peak, I was taking maybe 20-30 mg of hydrocodone per day (in one dose, usually), and I only maintained that level for about a week. I was lucky enough to recognize what was happening, and used my move to a new city as a convenient excuse to quit my growing habit. I'm definitely withdrawing (sleep has been minimal and I'm struggling with nasty gastrointestinal issues), but reading these posts has been very encouraging. I'm just about to start graduate school, and I'm teaching at an academic summer camp for the next six weeks. The kids arrive tomorrow, and I hope to be more or less presentable by then--Immodium has been a great help.

What would people say about taking other (non-narcotic) medication to ease the transition and get some sleep? I've got a few Flexeril (a skeletal muscle relaxant that has no narcotic properties) lying around--I'd been using them to potentiate the opiates to help keep my dosage as low as possible--and I'm thinking about taking one just to get to sleep tonight. Is that a bad idea? Should I just ride it out for another day or two? I assume that since I never was dosing very highly the worst is mostly over--is that correct?

I haven't told anyone here what I'm going through (they all just think I've got a mild stomach bug), so this site has been great for moral support. Congratulations to everyone who has kicked this addiction: we can do it!

[DodgedABullet]

Originally Posted by Cece123

Hi all-I have been reading all of this today and realize that I may have a problem. I never knew that it could get this out of control. [...] I don't take the Vic during the day but just take 2 when I get home. I am too chicken to increase the dose. That's it-I just take 2 a day. But I crave those two and get so excited when I know that I am going to get to take them. I have been out of pills now for two days and I feel like *ss. I am so stunned that two little pills would have such a huge effect on me. I avoid doing anything social because I want to stay home and take my pills. Now I realize that I have a problem and it has got to stop!


Thanks to all of you out there for posting your stories. It has made me realize that I have to stop and stop now. I am killing myself. I am so nauseaus right now that I think that I moght die. When does this go away?? I am off next week thank God and can try and recover but I feel like I am going to come right out of my skin!

Sounds a lot like my story, Cece! I started with just one in the evenings to "relax" once or twice per week, but before I knew it I was up to two, then three, then four. Like you, I realized that I was rapidly losing control of this beast, and decided to quit. Sounds like we're at about the same stage--hang in there!

[Robert_325]

Glad you snapped as to what you were doing to yourself before it got totally out of control. You will be past all this any day now.

Flexeril is a non-narcotic muscle relaxer. It's not particularly strong, in fact I don't see how it even helps anyone. Flexeril never did anything for me more than what an advil would do. It might help you sleep I suppose. I can't see that it would hurt you if it will help you sleep for a night, especially if you have to deal with a bunch of kids tomorrow at a summer camp. Better you than me is all I can say. LOL

I would normally say just tough it out another day or so, but it's not like you are recovering from shooting heroin. You took a few extra pain pills, snapped you had made a mistake and are stopping. I would say that if a flexeril will help you sleep so you can get it together tomorrow to deal with all the kids then take it if you want. It won't hurt anything or "make you go off the deep end." Good luck with all this and graduate school. One thing is for sure, graduate school while high on opiates is not the answer.

[HopefulGuy]

Well, this is probably (and hopefully) my last post and update for my withdrawal phase. I'm officially on my 9th full day since I last touched a vic and I gotta tell ya, I'm feeling like a brand new person. That is quite a difference from the first 2-5 days of w/d when I felt like I was in my own hell with no end in sight and no one to turn to. I can strongly say that I have just about zero w/d symptoms at this point, and if anything, I may have SLIGHT back pains but that could just be me and not due to w/d. I have been waking up a few times throughout my nights and sometimes it may take up to 30 min to fall back asleep but it's not at all as bad as the peak of w/d. Heck, I'm even feeling noticably happier and rejuvenated these days rather than the mild depression I was going through.

I'm not saying all this to make anyone out there who is hurting bad right now feel even worse. This is 100% meant to give you encouragement and hope through my experiences/progress that this is so beatable with the right motivation and confidence. My usage was not as much as many of you here but just so you can refer to it, I was peaking at 75mg/day on vics(for about a month) but mainly averaged 30-40 mg/day for a little under a year straight. After really deciding I needed to make a change in my life and stop cold turkey, I'd say my worst withdrawals lasted 4 days and was pretty much finished in 7 days. Of course, this is the physical w/d and the mental type is still looming. I took strong advils when needed throughout the day, Tylenol PMs at night to also aid in sleeping, and lots and lots of antioxidants (green tea, Pom) and water throughout my days to help flush out the bad stuff faster. My pee was very potent

I hope and pray that everyone here has success stories soon enough. I'll be waiting for you all here until that happens, on the outside looking in. GOD BLESS AND LETS GO METS!

[DodgedABullet]

Glad to hear you're on the other side, HopefulGuy! I hope I can join you there soon.

I'm on day five without anything, and I'm still having pretty severe diarrhea and general stomach upset--Immodium controls it alright for a few hours, but it always comes back. Is that normal? Should I be concerned at all about it? Thanks for the help and support, everyone.

[HopefulGuy]

So it looks like this forum has slowly died down lately which hopefully means everyone is immersed in their journey toward escape/recovery and being successful at that. I just wanted to share with you all any incidents that I experience so that you might be able to relate.

I've gone through pretty tough withdrawals after my year long binge but got through it eventually which took about a full week. Just to reiterate, this was quite a different feeling in a great way and really, you can't beat getting off of this habit, it is quite refreshing and kinda breathes new life in you. However, this weekend I unfortunately relapsed when I was out with friends. After not touching a pill for close to a month, I gave in when I was very drunk and although I did not take a strong dosage at all (probably 10-15mg), I still somehow caved in. I bet some of you with a strong problem with vics/percs might be reading this and rolling your eyes at the stupidity of my situation, especially cuz I got myself addicted from recreational use, not prescription. And to those with a serious issue, I apologize because I'm disgusted with myself. The reason I'm writing this is because although I knew that the mental part of this recovery phase lasts much longer than the physical, you never know HOW strong it is until it actually happens.

So, I didn't particularly feel any withdrawal symptoms after this little relapse (and if I did, it wasn't even slightly close to the real withdrawal), but I can certainly feel the mental hold it still continues to have. So that's it, I just really wanted to vent and share my situation because this is not easy for any of us but expressing it does seem to help. The only question I have now is what are some things I can do to really disassociate myself from this mental aspect? Continued luck and blessings to all you guys n gals.

[greenday]

I think Robert said it on another thread earlier today...what is up with so many people relapsing this week??? Is there something in the drinking water?

Hopefulguy,
Just climb back on that horse and ride it again!! You are fine. You caught it quickly so no worries. Don't beat yourself up over this. Keep posting and good luck.