[SF2009]

Hey everyone,

I slipped over the weekend. I was on day 6 of being clean and then a buddy offered me a few pills and I obliged. I feel horribly guilty about it, and I regret taking them at all. I guess the good news is that it didn't spark any new desires for me to go back. . . it actually turned me off to the ******** even more. Nonetheless I still feel ashamed, especially since I told my fiancee on Friday and she was incredibly supportive (she is absolutely amazing and she said she would work through this with me).

I do have a question: Will the withdrawl symptoms (physical or mental) return after taking a few pills? I'm worried about going through the same old ******** again over the next few days.

I'm sorry everyone. . . I remain completely committed to this.

[ainteasy]

Hey guys, i'm on day 8 of being opiate free and I'm strongly feeling the urge to go get hooked up!! I could have gotten some yesterday but resisted and then felt like ******** the rest of the day because I resisted. I haven't had the urges in the early stages of withdrawal but now I do.. what can I do? Will this ever go away? I am afraid because I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to do this.. even if i take just ONE or TWO pills, i know i'll get back into it! I cannot do that.. but it's so tough because I often forget what it's done to me in the past. Someone, please help

John

[ainteasy]

Originally Posted by SF2009

Hey everyone,

I slipped over the weekend. I was on day 6 of being clean and then a buddy offered me a few pills and I obliged. I feel horribly guilty about it, and I regret taking them at all. I guess the good news is that it didn't spark any new desires for me to go back. . . it actually turned me off to the ******** even more. Nonetheless I still feel ashamed, especially since I told my fiancee on Friday and she was incredibly supportive (she is absolutely amazing and she said she would work through this with me).

I do have a question: Will the withdrawl symptoms (physical or mental) return after taking a few pills? I'm worried about going through the same old ******** again over the next few days.

I'm sorry everyone. . . I remain completely committed to this.

SF, don't worry.. i've done that before. Just try not to slip again. Good news is you prolly didn't have any withdrawals over that.. I'm havin to resist HARDCORE right now hoping that in a month, i won't have to resist so hard. just keep busy and keep trying to remember what you went thru to get OFF of them.. gotta always remember that.. it helps me

John

[SF2009]

Thanks AintEasy, and right back at ya. Take it from me (a guy who didn't resist the urge over the weekend), the guilt is almost unbearable. DON'T DO IT! I think that urge will start to become replaced by a sense of pride and well being. I regret my decision but there's nothing I can do about it now. Still moving forward on the path to sobriety and feeling normal again, and more committed than ever.

Stay strong.

[dezz1801]

Hey SF

Don't beat yourself up. The important thing is you KNOW where you don't want to be. I thought about you this weekend, which is why I wanted to check on you. You know you can ALWAYS come here and just vent, or talk your way through an urge, and SOMEONE will be here for you. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again.

Believe me, I'm in a predicament at the moment and it's HARD not to turn to them. I'm fighting the worst fight I have since this even started. Just keep your chin up and keep telling yourself YOU CAN DO THIS. No one said it will be easy. But like Robert said before in this thread...the worst day clean is way better than the best day using. BE STRONG. We're all here for you!

Des

[PeeKay]

Alright so i spoke with my reguar doctor and he and I decided that Subs are the best bet for my situation. I have an appointment for wednesday w/ one doctor, or possibly tomorrow if i can get in at another. I want to start this asap and start getting my head clear again. I know it'll take a little while but i'm so ready to start the process. I will post as soon as i know more, and am also glad to report that so far, both the places 've talked to will accept my insurance and will pay a large portion of this...thank god. Today while i was driving to the doctors office, I was praying in my mind that this appointment went good and that things went smooth, and asked god to give me a sign that i was finally doing the right thing (sounds a little cheesy, especially for me, i dont really have a specific faith i belong to and worship at, yet i still have my beliefs and believe in god) but i was listening to my iPod which has about 500 songs on it, and of all of them that could have started playing, a song called "wasted" by carrie underwood came on...not sure if anyone is familar with that or not, but the lyrics go something like this:

Another glass of whisky but it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink and pours it down the drain
He says it's time to be a man and stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it.

Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missing
The still of the morning, the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

She kept drivin' along
Till the moon and the sun were floating side-by-side
She looked in the mirror and her eyes were clear
For the first time in a while....

I think I got a pretty good sign atleast thats what i think, so im gonna keep thinking that way...and WOW, my regular pharmacy just called me, apparently somehow smebody just tried to call in for a refill on my OxyCodone 40 mg CR tablets and it was definately NOT ME (never had that happen before). Luckily that cant be done & it has to be a written prescription but it threw me for a loop that here I am, getting this ******** rid of for good, and some how, either by a mistake of someone entering the wrong prescription number, or someone somehow swiping my prescription number off the old bottle, it was attempted to be called in. But, in a way once again that being a sign that God stepped in, if it were to be another medicine that DIDNT have to be a written prescription and be filled, the next time I went to the pharmacy to get my non-narcotic medicines they would have had that one sitting and waitng for me to pick up and that would have been a challenge but now I know I have resources in my corner to make life right again. Things are starting to fall into place. Thanks all & I will post later on w/ more information. Robert i'm thinking im gong to try using your tapering method, sounds reasonable and sounds like something that is gong to work for me. Talk later everyone! Keep up the good work guys

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by SF2009

Hey everyone,

I slipped over the weekend. I was on day 6 of being clean and then a buddy offered me a few pills and I obliged. I feel horribly guilty about it, and I regret taking them at all. I guess the good news is that it didn't spark any new desires for me to go back. . . it actually turned me off to the ******** even more. Nonetheless I still feel ashamed, especially since I told my fiancee on Friday and she was incredibly supportive (she is absolutely amazing and she said she would work through this with me).

I do have a question: Will the withdrawl symptoms (physical or mental) return after taking a few pills? I'm worried about going through the same old ******** again over the next few days.

I'm sorry everyone. . . I remain completely committed to this.

Hey ... addicts use and relapse sometimes. It's a drag but if you learned from it then it's okay. Just get up and go for it again. When you are tempted again post BEFORE you use rather than doing it afterwards. Hang in there. The relapse won't help your detox but it shouldn't be anything you can't overcome. You'll be okay. God bless.

[SF2009]

Thank you Des, I appreciate the support and the kind words. Talked to my fiancee today and we are going for a long walk after work. The weather is beautiful. . . life is good, and I want to start living it again.

Can anyone else answer my question about withdrawls? Should I expect any withdrawl syndromes after slipping and taking a few pills over the weekend? I just want to know what to expect. The guilt alone is enough to keep me from slipping again.

Thank you

[Robert_325]

I hope you can get all the subs and take them home with you so I can walk you through the INDUCTION myself. If the dr inducts you take as little sub as possible in the office. Then talk to me AS SOON as you get home. The actual INDUCTION (as I stated in the link I gave you) really takes four days. This is possibly the most important part of the process. So we need to get together as soon as you start so you get off on the right foot. I want you to be a success story, that's why I hope he lets you leave with a script and dosing instructions. Then we can do this the right way. Pull up that COWS worksheet from the link I gave you. It's in the INDUCTION section. It tells you how to know when you're ready to begin the INDUCTION. Keep me posted and God bless.

[dezz1801]

Originally Posted by SF2009

Thank you Des, I appreciate the support and the kind words. Talked to my fiancee today and we are going for a long walk after work. The weather is beautiful. . . life is good, and I want to start living it again.

Can anyone else answer my question about withdrawls? Should I expect any withdrawl syndromes after slipping and taking a few pills over the weekend? I just want to know what to expect. The guilt alone is enough to keep me from slipping again.

Thank you

SF

You are more than welcome. Although I almost feel like a hypocrite, lol. I haven't taken anything, but the fear in me now is HORRIBLE. I should take my own advice I guess...I just re-read my post, and I swear I was talking to myself too!

A walk is always great. Makes you appreciate what's around you that's for sure. I go for a ride when I start feeling bad. Something about fresh air and being able to see things for what they REALLY are instead of a cloudy view, is always refreshing. I'm glad that you have such a supportive gal in your life. I'm sure it helps when you need it the most!

Again, don't beat yourself up. You might have some w/d symptoms, but you got through it the first time remember? Your attitude about not falling back is what's most important. So if you have to pay the toll, so be it. It'll pass, as it always does

[SF2009]

Robert, I didn't see your post before I responded to Des. Thank you for your kind words. You have helped me and so many others on here. . . you sound like a very good man. Also thanks to Des, AintEasy, and Dago for your continued support as well.

I guess I'm looking at this latest round as blessing in disguise, as now I have more of a disgust for these pills than I did before. Every other time I stopped, I missed them right away. This time feels different. . . they disgust me. I'm not naive enough to think that crave won't come back, but I'm feeling a lot better this afternoon after sitting here and reading for a while.

I also had a chance to tell my fiancee how I felt this morning, which was a huge relief. I can't tell you guys how much better it made me feel to tell my fiancee of my addiction (told her on Friday evening). She really is amazing. Instead of judging me, she gave me a big hug, we cried, and she told me we would get through this together. She also told me how proud she was of me for telling her and for making this decision.

If anyone else who is going at this alone is reading this, I will say (at least from my perspective), that it's a giant weight off your shoulders to tell loved ones about your problem. That was one of the biggest sources of my anxiety (that I was doing this alone), but now I have someone to talk to when I'm feeling down. We also talked about NA meetings, which we'll play by ear.

I hope you all enjoy your night!

[dezz1801]

SF

You sound much better than you did earlier today. I told you it gets better! You're doing the right thing by LEARNING something from your relapse instead of beating yourself up over it. Again, I'm so glad that you have someone there for you. I'm on my own besides the people here, and it's not easy. I talk to my mom about it here and there, but I really don't want to bring her down...I've put her through enough as it is.

Just hang in there...because believe it or not, you REALLY ARE DOING GREAT. And let us know how you're doing from time to time. We're always here for you!

[PeeKay]

Hey Robert,
If I go see the one doctor i've already been in contact with, I get a prescription and bring the medicine home, administiring it myself. I am hoping, though, that I actually can get in to see a different doctor, tomorrow (it will be easier thru insurance & I feel like this doctor will actually be a little better) but, either way, after I get my medicine and speak with the doctor, ill come home and get on here, which could be tomorrow or wednesday, thursday at the latest. I will get on and let u know. THanks again!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by PeeKay

Hey Robert,
If I go see the one doctor i've already been in contact with, I get a prescription and bring the medicine home, administiring it myself. I am hoping, though, that I actually can get in to see a different doctor, tomorrow (it will be easier thru insurance & I feel like this doctor will actually be a little better) but, either way, after I get my medicine and speak with the doctor, ill come home and get on here, which could be tomorrow or wednesday, thursday at the latest. I will get on and let u know. THanks again!

I don't blame you at all for going where you can use your insurance. All this is expensive. Just give me as much notice as possible so I know I'll be here. God bless.

[SF2009]

Just wanted to let you all know how much better I feel today. Went out and got some exercise yesterday with my fiancee, which makes all the difference in the world. I don't think there's a better way to feel good about yourself than to exercise.

All those worries about getting high again and craving it are actually starting to be replaced by a sense of relief, excitement, well-being, calmness, pride, etc.

AintEasy. . . STICK IT OUT. I know I'm not an expert here and I know I've been at this for a very short period of time, but feeling normal and knowing I don't have another script coming (and that I actually don't want another script to come) feels amazing. I can only imagine how much better it gets.

[Robert_325]

SF2009 .... It gets better every single day as long as you don't use. Congratulations on your continued success at staying clean and happiness with your fiance. God bless.

[dezz1801]

Originally Posted by SF2009

Just wanted to let you all know how much better I feel today. Went out and got some exercise yesterday with my fiancee, which makes all the difference in the world. I don't think there's a better way to feel good about yourself than to exercise.

All those worries about getting high again and craving it are actually starting to be replaced by a sense of relief, excitement, well-being, calmness, pride, etc.

AintEasy. . . STICK IT OUT. I know I'm not an expert here and I know I've been at this for a very short period of time, but feeling normal and knowing I don't have another script coming (and that I actually don't want another script to come) feels amazing. I can only imagine how much better it gets.

SF

Way to go! I'm proud of you. Just take it day by day!!!! You're doing great!

[PeeKay]

Hi RObert...So i go to the Sub doctor tomorrow at 11, its a 2 hour appointment but i wont start the sub tomorrow, i have to go back on thursday and thats when he writes the prescripton i guess. I'll have it all figured out tomorrow as to when i'll be back at my place and what not. When i do get home after I've started it all, i'll get on here and post the schedule that the doctor gave me. The only think im sorta worried about is when i was going through all my paperwork today, there is a page that shows all of the parts of the contract that i'll follow and one of them is urine/blood tests to make sure no other drugs are in your system (thats not the issue...) and on top of that you have to bring your bottle in with you to do a medicine count to make sure you are following your schedule, so obviously if the plan that you think would work for me is less than what the doctor prescribes, will it be a big deal if I come in there with more pills than I should have, I wont get like, in trouble or anything if i have more medicine than my schedule said? i dont see how that would be a bad thing, having more left than I should, but im just worried that if i do something like that or somehow don't fully carry out my portion of the contract then i will be dropped from the program and i've been through way too much hell to have something like that go against me and get me "kicked out"...Like i said it seems like that shouldn't be a big deal but i just really wanna do this right. Once I talk to the doctor tomorrow i know all of my qustions will be answered and i wont have silly sounding questions posted anymore hah but i dont care, the only stupid question is the question that you don't ask hah. I just really can't get over how excited i am looking forward to this. I have another question too... Will i feel "weird" or anything when i'm trying to get on the medicine? I've read some posts of people saying they feel like theyre going nuts and their minds are all confused getting onto this and trying to get their dosing figured out right but i just hope it doesnt take me too many days to finally get to where i'm comfortable on Sub. I dont have to work (luckily) but i do have school friday, so if i start the induction on thurs, should I take friday off just to make sure i'm not all over the place? I hopefully will be able to have the doctor maybe write a note saying that I'm starting a new treatment that warrants a couple days off. I'm just trying to make sure i have the mindset & gve my body it's best chance at starting off on a good note. I also have a dentist appointment on thurs which i'm going to change (i have to get a filling and i really dont know if that would be a problem, but my dentist appointmnt is at 10:30 and i dont know what time i'll have to go in thursday to get started on Sub) but i really dont want to be in withdrawals laying in the dentist chair having my teeth taken care of. Anyways, like i said, these are all silly seeming questions but I want to educate myself as best I can so i am totally aware of what is going on. THanks guys!

[Robert_325]

Don't worry you can ask me any questions you want to ask. There are no stupid questions. I mean that.

I can't imagine your dr doing a toxicity test on you and blasting you because you have taken too little medication. I obviously can't speak for the dr but we've never had anyone have that problem here before. Let's see what the dr recommends and then we can make a gameplan. I won't abandon you I promise.

Forget all the "crazy" stories you've heard about subs. If you will just follow the suggestions you receive here you'll do just fine. I think it would be wise to take off Friday though if you can do that.

Let me know tomorrow how your appointment goes. I'm very curious to see what the dr says. Good luck and God bless.

[PeeKay]

Hi Robert,
Thank you for the response. I know every person reacts different to medicines or there could be other issues going on that makes this treatment unsuccessful for a handful of people but i'm willing to do whatever it takes, whenever it takes. Just knowing that i'm on my way to me again I couldn't be happier. Im also going to make sure and follow all dosing and instructions so that I make sure and do this as correct as I possibly can. I strongly believe that as long as i stay in close contact with my doctor and with you on here, i'll get through this and come out of it completely intact. I feel very confident that if I do follow all of the directions and do this the right way I dont even need to have the worry in the back of my mind that this new medicine might become a problem in the future. I feel confident so far with it simply based on your experiences and the help you have given to other people. In the beginning I was worrying and had the thought in the back of my mind that if i dont do this perfectly that I wouldn't have as good a chance as if I would have done it right. Im not nearly as worried about having new problems come up with getting on the Sub, so i'm just gonna take it slowly, one day at a time and start to regain confidence to help pull through this successfully. I literally haven't been able to fall asleep in the last 4 or 5 nights, not because of withdrawals or anything, but because I am so excited that I finally stepped up and am taking the initiative to take care of myself. I also am not as worried about how long i'll be on the Sub for, originally I thought it would just be maybe a month or so but i'm starting to read and see throughout many of the peoples' experiences here it might be even more beneficial to do this over a longer period of time. That way not only does my body have time to heal, but also my mental and emotional aspects have plenty of time to heal up as well. I haven't even gotten on the medicine yet but have already started feeling so positive about this whole process. I have waaaaay too much to live for to spend another day in that awful cycle that was such a huge part of my life. And I agree with you too, what your answer to my question about having issues if i have more medicines than I should at any given point, like I said I was just a little worried because I want to do this right and don't want to put my treatment plan in jeopardy over something so small like that. But I know i need to comply and follow directions. And I think I am going to end up taking friday off too. I'm sure the doctor will help out with making sure I dont get punished at school because I was taking care of my health and put that as my priority instead. Anyways, time for bed and i'll post tomorrow after my appointment. Pray that it goes good!!!! Thanks all, keep up the hard work guys

[Opee]

Hi. My name is Jeff and I am a hardcore opiate addict. I never really said that out loud, it just seemed like the proper way to start this post. I've been reading this site for about a month and it has become increasingly obvious I am spiraling out of control. Drugs cost me my marriage, my house and a good portion of my son growing up. I spend every minute of free time with him, but 2 days a week isn't the same. Anyone with kids can attest to to that. My story is typical, I've read so many of yours. I've been a drug user since I was 15 and for the last 20 years I can't remember more than 2-3 days going by where I wasn't on something. I always liked pills as it is SUCH an easy high. Started stealing Darvocet from my Mom, then getting her to give them to me. Smoked pot forever and was one helluva drunk. About 4 years ago I developed a nasty cocaine habit which ended my marriage. To be fair it wasn't much of a marriage, but still a ********ty way to go out, ya dig? Anyway I was forced to take drug hair tests. By this time I had gotten a scrip for Darvies and got a ton of Norco's (still my greatest love - I almost salivate when I see them) so it was pills and booze til I passed my drug test. Anyway, I passed and left cocaine for good. However, this brings us back to the pills. The last several months living together (we were trying to sell the house) I kept myself whacked on painkillers to keep from throttling her and to ignore her when she baited me into doing just that. I kept my ******** together and moved out without incident. Except with a giant King Kong on my back. I have gotten steadily worse and it's NOTHING for me to eat 30 Vic's in a day. Nothing. I've tried to quit a few times but never made it past a day or two. My main deal is Norco's and railing Opanas. Tough on the nose but they sure as hell kick in a handful of Norco's. Anyway I am on day 3 and actually making it. Saturday at work was murder. My legs feel like mud, no energy, trots, runny eyes and nose, you just want to die. Got my hands on some Klonnies and, Man, get some! Half in the AM and half in the afternoon and it's rock n' roll. Almost slipped today, went by my friends to beg for an opana. His car was there but he didn't answer as he's prone to do when he's sick of me (cannot blame him). It was a blessing. Physically I have my doubts, but mentally I am ready to end this ********. Without pills life sucks and I can barely function as a human, People start to look at you weird and I have a cold/flu only works for so long. God bless all of you on this, particularly you, Robert. You are truly a selfless human being. There is a special place waiting for you upstairs and I am not a religious man. This is SO hard, nothing like kicking blow. My heart and support goes out to all of you.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Opee

Hi. My name is Jeff and I am a hardcore opiate addict. I never really said that out loud, it just seemed like the proper way to start this post. I've been reading this site for about a month and it has become increasingly obvious I am spiraling out of control. Drugs cost me my marriage, my house and a good portion of my son growing up. I spend every minute of free time with him, but 2 days a week isn't the same. Anyone with kids can attest to to that. My story is typical, I've read so many of yours. I've been a drug user since I was 15 and for the last 20 years I can't remember more than 2-3 days going by where I wasn't on something. I always liked pills as it is SUCH an easy high. Started stealing Darvocet from my Mom, then getting her to give them to me. Smoked pot forever and was one helluva drunk. About 4 years ago I developed a nasty cocaine habit which ended my marriage. To be fair it wasn't much of a marriage, but still a ********ty way to go out, ya dig? Anyway I was forced to take drug hair tests. By this time I had gotten a scrip for Darvies and got a ton of Norco's (still my greatest love - I almost salivate when I see them) so it was pills and booze til I passed my drug test. Anyway, I passed and left cocaine for good. However, this brings us back to the pills. The last several months living together (we were trying to sell the house) I kept myself whacked on painkillers to keep from throttling her and to ignore her when she baited me into doing just that. I kept my ******** together and moved out without incident. Except with a giant King Kong on my back. I have gotten steadily worse and it's NOTHING for me to eat 30 Vic's in a day. Nothing. I've tried to quit a few times but never made it past a day or two. My main deal is Norco's and railing Opanas. Tough on the nose but they sure as hell kick in a handful of Norco's. Anyway I am on day 3 and actually making it. Saturday at work was murder. My legs feel like mud, no energy, trots, runny eyes and nose, you just want to die. Got my hands on some Klonnies and, Man, get some! Half in the AM and half in the afternoon and it's rock n' roll. Almost slipped today, went by my friends to beg for an opana. His car was there but he didn't answer as he's prone to do when he's sick of me (cannot blame him). It was a blessing. Physically I have my doubts, but mentally I am ready to end this ********. Without pills life sucks and I can barely function as a human, People start to look at you weird and I have a cold/flu only works for so long. God bless all of you on this, particularly you, Robert. You are truly a selfless human being. There is a special place waiting for you upstairs and I am not a religious man. This is SO hard, nothing like kicking blow. My heart and support goes out to all of you.

Over a period of 35 years I abused every drug known to man I assure you. I was a scumbag. I also walked away from a blow habit you wouldn't even believe ... the kind they make movies about. Ran around waving guns and the whole thing. Wasn't until OXY got a hold of my butt that I was history. RX opiates are more addicting than most heroin on the street. It took me the better part of ten years trying to kick opiates before I finally begged God for help and got it. I was taking thirty 30mg roxies along with 30 plus lorcets a day every day for a long time plus other assorted garbage. You CAN do this.

Have you checked out the Thomas Recipe we talk about here all the time. It's the best for cold turkey detoxing. Here's a link .... check it out.

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/...show/16?cid=66

I didn't even know how to go to the store clean when I got straight. It takes some time. Hang in there dude. It will be okay if you don't use. God bless.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Opee

Hi. My name is Jeff and I am a hardcore opiate addict. I never really said that out loud, it just seemed like the proper way to start this post. I've been reading this site for about a month and it has become increasingly obvious I am spiraling out of control. Drugs cost me my marriage, my house and a good portion of my son growing up. I spend every minute of free time with him, but 2 days a week isn't the same. Anyone with kids can attest to to that. My story is typical, I've read so many of yours. I've been a drug user since I was 15 and for the last 20 years I can't remember more than 2-3 days going by where I wasn't on something. I always liked pills as it is SUCH an easy high. Started stealing Darvocet from my Mom, then getting her to give them to me. Smoked pot forever and was one helluva drunk. About 4 years ago I developed a nasty cocaine habit which ended my marriage. To be fair it wasn't much of a marriage, but still a ********ty way to go out, ya dig? Anyway I was forced to take drug hair tests. By this time I had gotten a scrip for Darvies and got a ton of Norco's (still my greatest love - I almost salivate when I see them) so it was pills and booze til I passed my drug test. Anyway, I passed and left cocaine for good. However, this brings us back to the pills. The last several months living together (we were trying to sell the house) I kept myself whacked on painkillers to keep from throttling her and to ignore her when she baited me into doing just that. I kept my ******** together and moved out without incident. Except with a giant King Kong on my back. I have gotten steadily worse and it's NOTHING for me to eat 30 Vic's in a day. Nothing. I've tried to quit a few times but never made it past a day or two. My main deal is Norco's and railing Opanas. Tough on the nose but they sure as hell kick in a handful of Norco's. Anyway I am on day 3 and actually making it. Saturday at work was murder. My legs feel like mud, no energy, trots, runny eyes and nose, you just want to die. Got my hands on some Klonnies and, Man, get some! Half in the AM and half in the afternoon and it's rock n' roll. Almost slipped today, went by my friends to beg for an opana. His car was there but he didn't answer as he's prone to do when he's sick of me (cannot blame him). It was a blessing. Physically I have my doubts, but mentally I am ready to end this ********. Without pills life sucks and I can barely function as a human, People start to look at you weird and I have a cold/flu only works for so long. God bless all of you on this, particularly you, Robert. You are truly a selfless human being. There is a special place waiting for you upstairs and I am not a religious man. This is SO hard, nothing like kicking blow. My heart and support goes out to all of you.

Hey opee
I just wanted to throw in some support...I was a big pill head and I managed to get clean...you can do it just take it one day or hour at a time if you need to ...
well be here to help you along if you want us too.
keep us posted on how you are doing.
talk to you soon,Melinda

[Opee]

You all are truly amazing people. I have been reading this site for @ 6 weeks and feel like I almost know some of you as humans, especially you, Robert. What you give to this site is worthy of an award. Thank you both for your quick responses and caring words. You would not think it would mean a great deal from a complete stranger, but I assure you it does. As I said, as I have been monitoring this site for some time you feel like friends, lame as it sounds. I am very aware of the Thomas Recipe and already on it. However, I'm having trouble locating T-Lyosine. Cleansing pills, potassium, B6, got it. I have a sauna, but alas no hot tub. Is GNC the only place for T-Lyosine? That appears to be the most important ingredient. I swear to God my legs are like mud in the morning. I'm weak as a kitten. My friend says it's all in my head, but diarhea, horriffic back and joint pain (RLS - is that the worst or what) and sleeplessness and being barely able to walk are most certainly NOT in my head. Klonopin helps immensely. Tomorrow is Day 4 and I really think I'm gonna do it this time. Spending $2000 on opiates if for the birds!

[melinda7.5]

Hey my friend
LOL...That is how much I was spending on drugs when I quit... ...
That must be are lucky #....
you can do this one hour at a time I did it 10 min at a time...
Just get a little time behind you and things will get better...
let us know how its going...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[Opee]

Day 4 and it's manageable. I hate to trade one drug for another (but that's always been my style) but Klonnies are really what's getting me through. Makes you a bit of a zombie, but it's a lot easier to brush off "being tired" than looking like death warmed over. There have been looks and I'm sure a few comments but I had sinus surgery 2 months ago and that was enough of a cover. I have a really good Finance Manager job that I can't foul up. If I wasn't on a handful (10) of pills I was a trainwreck. This is all familiar territory to all of you I'm sure. This site really helps, you know? You don't have to live in your own private hell. My brother is cool, but he doesn't want to hear about it. Friends don't want to hear about it. I've lost any and all sympathy (rightfully so). You guys, Robert and Melinda, are good people. Your support is really strengthing my resolve.

Question: where can I find T-Lyrosine? Walgreens had no clue.

Again, thank you for the kind words and I will keep in touch. It's nice to know someone who is in the know is listening and cares. It means more than you might think. God Bless.

[Opee]

It's L-Tyrosine....probably why Walgreens had no clue. You learn something new every day.

Originally Posted by Opee

Day 4 and it's manageable. I hate to trade one drug for another (but that's always been my style) but Klonnies are really what's getting me through. Makes you a bit of a zombie, but it's a lot easier to brush off "being tired" than looking like death warmed over. There have been looks and I'm sure a few comments but I had sinus surgery 2 months ago and that was enough of a cover. I have a really good Finance Manager job that I can't foul up. If I wasn't on a handful (10) of pills I was a trainwreck. This is all familiar territory to all of you I'm sure. This site really helps, you know? You don't have to live in your own private hell. My brother is cool, but he doesn't want to hear about it. Friends don't want to hear about it. I've lost any and all sympathy (rightfully so). You guys, Robert and Melinda, are good people. Your support is really strengthing my resolve.

Question: where can I find T-Lyrosine? Walgreens had no clue.

Again, thank you for the kind words and I will keep in touch. It's nice to know someone who is in the know is listening and cares. It means more than you might think. God Bless.

Jeff,

I went through what you did those pills especially the Norcos have a lot of power I was up to 12-15 a day sometimes more and I had a Dr. giving them to me free. If you are at day 5 or 6 now you are well on your way. Things should start improving now....Feel free to read my story at Veteran Vicodin Addict and I wish you much success and freedom from the pills.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Opee

It's L-Tyrosine....probably why Walgreens had no clue. You learn something new every day.

Try something like a GNC store or vitamin store. They will have it. Hang in there, God bless.

[Opee]

Thank you the kind words and support, AFSGTSAM. I've never felt so connected to a group of people I have never met.

Robert, I did pick them up at GNC today, so I think I have all the "supplies" I need. Yep, through the worst of it. Don't know if any of you ever read the unabridged version of Stephen King's The Stand, but there is a great line that is helping me. A friend of the main character had a very rypical story. Got hurt and hooked on morphine in the hospital. After beling released from the hospital he developed a nasty heroin habit (newsflash). After struggling thru very bad W/D's he got it together and "came through the other side." I think of that quote often and am close to coming out the other side. I'll let you know when I've come through the other side. However, the worst appears to be over and I, and my body, will never forget those 3 days. I think the worst is the chills and being constantly cold (and the tingly RLS). My skin is burning up, yet I am so cold. Everyone else in in short sleeves or a button down and I have an under shirt, button down AND a sweater. Again a few looks, but that is nothing new.

I highly recommend The Stand. It's long (1150 pages) but so worth it.

Again, thanks to all for your kind words and support. It takes a special kind of person to show such empathy and genuine caring towards a complete stranger.