[mojopezze]

I quit taking all of my medications 12 days ago-vicodin, percocet, valium and xanax. My withdrawl has been horrible and the 2 day rapid cleanse was probably a horrible idea! I haven't been able to work, haven't been interested in talking to anyone or going anywhere. I still have diarreah and am throwing up in the mornings. I am feeling a little better late in the day. I haven't had any mental cravings for pills in the entire duration, but I know that if I EVER take another pill I will be in serious trouble. I really had no idea my addicion was so bad. After an ankle injury last year, my drug abuse almost became a second job. I was a walking pharmacy. If anyone has any advice on anything I can do to feel better, please let me know. Most importantly, I have to go back to work tomorrow (again) and I'm hoping that it will be better than last week because I'm afraid that I'll lose my job. Thank you everyone.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by mojopezze

I quit taking all of my medications 12 days ago-vicodin, percocet, valium and xanax. My withdrawl has been horrible and the 2 day rapid cleanse was probably a horrible idea! I haven't been able to work, haven't been interested in talking to anyone or going anywhere. I still have diarreah and am throwing up in the mornings. I am feeling a little better late in the day. I haven't had any mental cravings for pills in the entire duration, but I know that if I EVER take another pill I will be in serious trouble. I really had no idea my addicion was so bad. After an ankle injury last year, my drug abuse almost became a second job. I was a walking pharmacy. If anyone has any advice on anything I can do to feel better, please let me know. Most importantly, I have to go back to work tomorrow (again) and I'm hoping that it will be better than last week because I'm afraid that I'll lose my job. Thank you everyone.

Get some Immodium AD for the diarrhea immediately. It actually has an opiate base to it so it will help your stomach in addition to stopping the diarrhea. Take a couple at a time and use them as needed until the diarrhea stops. You're totally dehydrated from diarrhea and puking. Get a huge jug of gatorade and drink it. It's full of electrolytes and will help you feel better. Of course drink lots of water too as you begin to feel a little better and can keep it down. But do the immodium and gatorade as soon as you finish reading this. You'll start feeling better quickly in that area at least.

You can also buy some valerian root at any walmart pharmacy for $5 and get 100 capsules. Take 3-4 at a time for anxiety. You can use them as needed also just keep it within reason. Take HOT showers/baths to help with the restlessness of w/d. It will help for a little while between episodes. And believe it or not you need to get some exercise. I understand you can't run five miles, but as soon as the diarrhea stops with the immodium you need to take a walk around the block, something light that will get your natural endorphine production going ... it's been stopped with the opiate detox. Endorphine production will help with your overall feeling of well being. Hope that helps some. Let me know how you feel in a few hours. Now get someone to go get you some immodium and gatorade. You'll feel better in a few hours; not well but better.

How much xanax/valium were you taking daily? We may need to address that. God bless.

[mojopezze]

Thank you Robert. I have tried immodium, valerian root, kava kava and pau d'arc. I've been extremely sick and restless every morning and I'm sure that has to do with the valium and xanax. I took melatonin last night and it worked better than tryptophan. This morning I was determined to take a walk though I was very weak. It didn't help unfortunately. I have been trying to consume as much pedialyte and crackers as I can and hot showers (though it is still difficult). I was taking a combination of about 15 vicodins/percocets and about 5 valiums/xanax a day. I know my body is in shock and I am doing everything I have been advised to do and am having a very difficult time. I am going to go to a friend's house after I convince myself to take a shower and possibly go for a swim in the ocean (can you tell I'm not too motivated?). If you have any other ideas, please continue to pass them along. I'm going to try another immodium and see how it goes. Thank you so much, this is even more difficult since my boyfriend had to go to another island for work last week.

[IveHadIt_Qutting_8_15]

Originally Posted by xcalibure

Does anyone know how long the withdrawal from 6 to 8 Percocet or Vicodin (not both) per day for a little over a year is? I quit cold turkey last Thursday (one week today) and I still feel bad.

On another note, what should one do if they are having a painful medical concern but are afraid to see a doctor in fear that they will be treated unfairly for their own past actions, drug seeking, etc.? Not saying I want to get narcotics, I'm done with those, period but I dont want a serious problem thrown off as more drug seeking.

I share my congratulations with everyone else. SEVEN DAYS? I am impressed. Don't go back now. Days 2, 3 (most especially, as I understand it), and 4, are the hardest. Are you doing the Thomans Recipe?? Clonondin can help you sleep (non-addictive), and Phermaizne is great for nausea. Those you can take for additional comfort, but it looks like you might not need them.

My hat off to you! You're a stronger man than I am.

[FreedomForMe]

Just wanted to give you a big "GO GIRL" in my house I have taught my daughter and granddaughter GIRL POWER and that is what I keep telling myselfn I have 10 days behind me and feel better and better everyday so use your GIRL POWER u will feel better when it is all done and over with.

PS I stuck to the Thomas Recipe and it really helped I also used the Hyland Flu tablets which helped with the flu like symptoms.

Julie

[SF2009]

Hi everyone,

I found this site when I googled Vicodin withdrawls and I must say it's very helpful. My situation is this: I've been taking vicodin for almost 3 years now. Though I have legitimately needed it for certain back injuries from time to time, most of the use was recreational. It started off with about 2-3 pills a day (once a day), and then of course the use grew from there. After almost a year I took a month off to "prove to myself" that I could quit. When I was done with that month, I started again to "reward myself". It's funny in that it took me a while to realize I have a problem. I didn't get withdrawls much in that first year that I could remember. Every time I ran out, I knew I had another script coming soon, and I don't think I was taking enough to get the physical withdrawls or mood swings (although I didn't know at the time to look out for them).

Over the last year and a half, the abuse got out of control. Early last year I was up to taking as much as 12 per day. At that point I made a decision to cut down and actually stopped for another few weeks, after which time I "rewarded myself" with a new script. Although the amount I've been taking has decreased lately, the only reason it has is because I'll go through a script of 90 Norcos in about 12 days, and then I'll wait until the next month to get them again (only getting them from 1 doctor for the most part). So I've been in this constant rotation of feeling great, and then going through withdrawls for about a week for about the last 6 months. You can imagine that gets tiring on the mind. I'm tired of it controlling my life, I'm tired of feeling trapped and anxiety about being addicted, and I'm tired of thinking about it all the time.

In January of this year, I decided to quit. I felt like I was at a crossroads, and I seriously asked myself "where is this going?". I know it can't go on forever, and I know I have a problem, and I know the longer it goes on, the harder it is to quit. Over the past couple of months, I've been able to quit for a couple weeks at a time, but then as I'm starting to feel better, I get another script (I've done that twice over the last few months).

Most of me knows that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but there's part of me that wonders "will I ever truly be happy again"? It's like my mind flickers back and forth. Do you all know what I mean? I just think of the burden of trying to quit, and I think about the mental part of staying sober, and it's tough. I know I won't miss taking it at work (which it progressed to as of late), or taking it when going out with friends, I don't want to take it all the time. It's the times when I'm relaxed on the couch that I know I'll crave it the most.

I'm getting married in the Fall to an awesome girl. I'm 30 years old with a great family and a great set of friends, and I have a very good job. I don't want to put any of that at risk. I'm 3 days sober now and feeling pretty good actually. My withdrawl this time wasn't as bad. I exercise a lot and that helps too.

I guess I'm just looking for some perspective from others out there that have gone through this. I know there's a part of me that will always want it, but when does the "constantly thinking about it" part go away?

I appreciate your support,

SF2009

[dago77]

...Whats SF! I just wrote you a reply that took me a while and it got deleted before I sent it. So ill just get to the point. I know exactly what you are going through. From quitting for a few weeks and having the celebration at the end with a bottle of pills. I have been repeating that cycle going on ten years now. You have to tough it out for a bit with the w/d and give it some more time after that. The depression and bad thoughts will lift after a while. But you cant just sit around, get out and get on with your life. If you really want this, put it first. I know you wonder if you will ever be "normal" again. You really do not have any other options besides the way you have been living the past few years. I know you dont want that! When your sitting around and have some down time, instead of thinking how good it would feel to pop a vic, come on here and read or post, do some push ups or something. You have to fill the voids bro. You know how to go through w/d, sounds like you have it mastered. just stay at it, stay focused, dont keep letting your gaurd down. For me, I just got to sick of the cycle. I got so focused and if it takes me 10 yrs to feel "normal" thats how long it will take! There is only one way out of this dude! Well ,only one way that will work. It will get better if you give it some time and keep staying clean on the top of your list. Above friends, good times, bars, whatever. You understand what I mean. I relize I do not have a ton of clean time. Those are just some things that are working for me. There are other good people on here who will tell you that meetings and good recovery programs are something you will need for your success. I think meetings sound great! I personally dont go, so I cant preach it to you. If you really want to end this, do what ever you have to bro. Take some vitamis, lift weights, whatever. Again I cant tell you exactly how to live sober. This sunday ill have 52 days. All I can say is if you give it some time, stay focused, im sure you will really apreciate living a life without all that bs! The cycle, the anxiety of knowing yur an addict, the whole thing is no way to live, and just doesnt make any sense bro. Sorry this was so to the point. Again this was the seconed message and im hoping this one will go through. Hang in there buddy!

Ryan

[dago77]

sorry that was, whats up SF, not whats SF? Another thing I wanted to mention. Since you have been through this a few times, try going at it with a different approach. Instead of thinking how will I make it when im sober, will I ever be happy? Attack this thing! Get mad at it! For me having the attitude that wether im going to be unhappy, unable to sleep, whatever, this is how its gonna be so get used to it! And dont let up no matter how long it takes.

[SF2009]

Thanks Dago77, I appreciate the words of wisdom. Yeah, what it's come down to for me is that I'm sick of living like this. You hit it spot on. I've actually started to get mad at it and say "F this". I do want to stop and feel normal again. I've started to feel normal again over the last few days, and I do know in the back of my mind that it will get better. I remember that I was a happy guy before all this started (that's a big help for me to keep at top of mind), and I look around and see all kinds of happy people, so I know I can be happy again. That all helps. And hearing the success stories help as well.

I think the words of wisdom about "filling the voids" and "staying active and busy" are spot on as well. I've noticed that when I'm doing things, I can take my mind off of the V's and actually enjoy myself.

Question for everyone. . . how long does the anxiety take to go away? In the past, it went away after a week or so, but I also knew in the back of my mind that I had another script coming. I think I can deal with the mental addiction (or at least fight the desire to give in), but I'd like to know when the anxiety/panic bouts start to subside. They go in and out for me.

Thank you!!

[dezz1801]

Hey SF!

First off, congrats on your first step! That for me was the toughest part, deciding to quit! I'm 12 days out and I still get anxiety from time to time. But to be honest, when I start getting that panic feeling, I get out and do something, and it usually goes away. So I can't honestly answer that question, other than tell you that every single day is better than the day before. Just stick with it! It DOES get better! And coming to this board and reading certainly helps too! I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I've spent on here just reading. Good luck to you, and there's so much support you can get from these great people on here! Ryan being one of them!

[ainteasy]

Hey guys.. I have some big questions near the end of this post but first I gotta let you know my story so someone who knows can answer my questions good.

I've been taking vicodin/perc and tramadol recreationally for 3 years or so off and on..(mostly on lol) and honestly the longest I went without in those 3 years was like maybe 20 days.. and that was a long time ago.. It's been a consistent part of my life for awhile. I finally got laid off after 5 years of work in November and decided to stop the opiates at the same time. I had stopped before and this shouldn't be a problem this time.. 4 days of hell and then it's over.. Well not this time.. I went through like 3 days of hell but then the unexpected happened.. I got REALLY depressed and all sorts of weird thoughts are coming up.. I already have OCD and intrusive thoughts but now it seems after being vicodin free, it spun OUT OF CONTROL.. So bad that I was almost confined to my bed with depression and anxiety and OCD.. THis has never happened like this.. I went 23 days with NOTHING (took 1 10mg percocet at like day 15 but that was it). Day 23, I wasn't feeling THAT much better so I slipped up and started takin' them again.. I have friends who take them like crazy so I can always get them if I really need them.. Only thing that stops me is that they cost so much AND I know they aren't good for me.

Anyway, so I got back on them AND tramadol (please if anyone has info on longterm effects of Tramadol, lemme know.. It IS addictive bigtime.. despite what they say) and have been taking them now for 2 months since I had my 23 days of NOTHING.. I feel TONS better when I'm on them BUT.. the OCD and crazy random racing thoughts were still there a little when i got back on them.. (I thought it would all go back to how it was)

Ok so my big question.. Today is now day 3 of having NOTHING because I have decided to stop again.. THIS TIME FOR GOOD. I am still kinda feelin like ******** physically but nothing compared to the other day.. the big thing i'm dealing with now AGAIN, is depressin, OCD, random intrusive reoccuring thoughts.. it's almost as if my mind is all hyperactive now.. I want to know.. HOW LONG will this depression, mental anguish last? I mean, i went 23 days with nothing and it didn't seem to help.. does it take longer than that for the brain to start returning to normal? I know you have to retrain yourself to live but i mean, how long can I expect this depression and crazy thoughts to last.. Anyone else have any similar experiences with the hyperactive mind? it's killing me. Please let me know.. BTW, I was never taking more than 8 or 9 vicodin in one day.. a few times, I went up to like 13 but only a few times.. i know that doesn't seem like much but when you take that over a 3 year span.. it'll hook ya and you will have withdrawals off of that... Tramadol, I wwould take when I didn't have vicodin as I LOVE the feeling of tramadol even more than vike.. I was taking about 5 trams in a day for like 2 days.. then would go back to vicodin.. basically I pretty much ALWAYS had something in my system.. whether it was tram or vike for 3 years!.. with a few mild breaks in between.

Please can someone answer my questions thought about the depression and how long it can actually take the mind to return to what it should be? Did I do permanent damage???? please someone help.. I'm DONE with this ******** definitely.. Believe me when I say that.

THank you
John

[Robert_325]

You should read some of the tramadol threads. It sounds to me like you could be having some side effects of depression related to the tramadol. It's a drug that definitely affects people's level of depression.

It's not uncommon for depression to follow opiate w/d. But it shouldn't put you on your back in bed literally after a while clean. I think the severity of your problem is probably greatly due to the tramadol. Talk to Macie. She replies to a lot of the tramadol posts here and does a good job. God bless. :O

[ainteasy]

Thank you, yeah the tramadol is also an SSRI, that's prolly why it affects depression. I wasn't really bed ridden after 23 days, just wasn't feeling 100% at all.. was still pretty down in the dumps.. but thanks..

Macie, can you give some input?

[dago77]

..Hey SF, im glad you showed up to post again. A lot of people disapear and we never know what happened. If you give it some time im sure the anxietey will lighten up for you. Things were a bit easier for me this time around because I have been off work for a few months. But man for me just accepting it for what it is, and knowing I would get better in time was enough for me to get through anything. You sound like your doing pretty well over all, just dont give up! Im really not sure how long it will take for you to be 100% I feel pretty well with the amount of time of been off. Maybe once your off long enough, and you start having more good days than bad, the anxietey will start to fade out. You mentioned that your doing things and not thinking about the pills. I can tell you that the time you do think about them starts showing up less and less the longer your off. I can honestly say I have one craving a day and its on my way home in the evening. Just have to keep busy bro. Im hoping that wont go on for ever. Also, quitting knowing you have another script in a week, and quitting without any thing ever again are two totally different things. I completley understand what your saying. I wish I had more answers for you on what completley worked to take away everything. Im sure everyone does. I think everyone going through this just does what they have to dude! You know that. My computer is all jacked up again, it will barley let me type. Ill probally be mia for a while. Sorry these posts are coming off so short and to the point bro. Im sure others will be on to help you out. Hang in there, and dont give up! Your doing great!

Ryan

[SF2009]

Thank you Ryan and thank you dezz1801, you guys are truly good people to respond and be supportive. Today is day 5 and I feel really good. . . my w/d doesn't sound as bad as some others I've read about (probably b/c I was only taking for a short period of time this time). Maybe it's also because I've done it a handful of times over the last 6 months, so I do know that you start to feel better. The difference this time is I'm not waiting for another script. I can honestly say that this time is different, I am truly committed to this.

I decided to quit in January, and after a couple of relapses, I have truly come to realize my limits, I realize that this is a terrible way to live. . not the way I want to live. In mid March I tried to justify getting a script and giving it to my fiancee to monitor (only a couple times/week). Well after a couple days I went digging through the drawers and found it. Needless to say it only lasted 12 days, and I had some explaining to do with her, which was terrible. Over the first couple days of this last w/d, I flirted with the idea of eventually getting another script and truly having her monitor it, but I came to realize that even if that was the case and even if I was able to do that, it would still be top of mind all the time, and who knows what other means I would go to to get more.

I actually feel some level of comfort because I'm starting to feel a lot better (almost normal again), and I still don't want the pills. I know the cravings will come back, and I know I have to stay strong. So I deleted the contact information for my pain management doctor yesterday, which was a big step for me. I read a great post from Richard325 once that said "you can't get to 2nd base if you've still got one foot on first". That kind of hit home for me.


Yesterday was tough, as there was lots of anxiety, but as the day wore on, it got better. Last night I went to dinner with friends and laughed and felt normal again. I also slept through the night last night and woke up feeling pretty good. I feel like I'm starting to get my life back. All these posts I read about people wanting to "start living" again really hits home. It really helps to know that others have gone through this and felt the same way I did. I haven't shared this with anyone, so it's tough going at it alone. I've contemplated telling my fiancee several times, but I'm a little scared to do so.

I know I'm kind of rambling, but it just helps to get these feelings out, and it really helps to see others who have gone through this and made it out!

Thank you all so much. I'll keep reading.

Greg

[ainteasy]

Dude, i coudn't believe what I was reading. I too am on day 5 today with nothing.. getting anxiety everyday.. ALSO used to quit knowing I was just going to get more from my friends who had "never ending" amounts and this time is different.. I cut off all my access to them. Told all my friends how addicted I was and how I didn't want them giving me anymore ever.. they all agreed.. One of my friends who had NO idea that tramadols were this addictive had been giving me them like candy.. cauz he didn't take them.. Tramadol is an opiod so it feels to me just like vicodin, only it lasts WAY longer so i like them more.. I told him the other day EVERYTHING and he agreed NO MORE.. that kinda made me depressed in itself knowing i can't just roll thru to his place and pick up a few here n there.. I know what you going through man.. I'm depressed and Out of work right now... I tried to quit the day I got laid off too and was clean for 23 days and on day 23, i still wasn't feeling 100% but I think the "NO JOB" status was helping to depress me plus when you come from a highstressed job and then go to doing "NOTHING" it'll mess with your head.. I have mild OCD and it turned into severe OCD after I lost my job.. couldn't tell if It was from NO vicodin or from no job.. i think it's a combination now.. Anyway, I ended up gettin more pills and doing them for a nother few months.. and now have decided NO MORE again but this time for GOOOOD....once you just take one or two, your mind wants them 1000 times more than it did before you took those one or two... and that's how you get hooked again.

anyway, i'm on day 5 today and feeling better and better each day i think.. but this depression, bordom and anxiety.. not sure when that's going to let up.. i think a lot of it has to do with not having work..seriousely.. cauz i used to quit for weeks at a time when i was working and only was depressed for like 2 days.. (maybe it was cauz i knew i could get more anytime)

anyway, i feel yer pain..

John

[SF2009]

AintEasy, thanks for the reply, and stay strong. I think you took a big step by telling your friends so you can't get more. When you say it makes you "depressed" to think you can't just stop by and get a few, I also feel your pain (as I'm sure others on here do). I get that feeling from time to time as well, but I talk myself back down to sanity. What I remind myself is what my life was like before I started taking these things, and what it will be like when I stop. Combatting an occasional craving with an overall sense of well being and pride sounds a whole lot better to me than giving in and feeling miserable about myself. I'm tired of the lie, I'm tired of the double life, I'm tired of it all, and the only way to get rid of that is to resist the temptation (I realize that).

Plus remember this: It's not like you go out and see people popping pills all the time. What I mean is that it's not normal to do this, we shouldn't be doing this (Popping a couple pills in not like having a few drinks, at least in my opinion), so it can't go on forever. If I was combatting alcohol (something that you see everyday), I think I might have a much tougher time, because I'm not sure I could really live a normal life. Without pills, I am absolutely convinced that I can.

Keep at it man. . . I will do the same (we are far from out of the woods but it seems like we are both on the right track).

[MaisieC]

Hey John,

I'm really sorry I missed your posts on this thread. There's a lot going on around here! I responded to you on one of the tramadol threads.

Now that I read your story in this context, I feel even more strongly that it's the tramadol withdrawal that's doing this to you. I think Robert is right. Coming off "regular" opiates always made me depressed, but coming off tramadol? Oh my God, the racing desperate miserable thoughts! "No one cares about me. No one ever has. I am a piece of ********. I deserve to die. I'm a waste of oxygen...." Over and over again. And I don't have OCD! It's the trams, damn them!

Please have a look at my comment on the other thread and we can keep talking.

And don't give up! It will get better!

[ainteasy]

THanks both of you.. i'll check out the other posts... I was never on tramadol for "years" or anything.. Never even had my own prescription.. just got them off and on from friends..

I'm not coming down on myself at all.. thinking that i'm a piece if garbage or anything.. my main thoughts are just lonely, depressed, BORED (that's the big one) and OCD out of control. (which i've always had a little bit)

anyway thanks, i'll check out the tram post

John

[MaisieC]

Originally Posted by ainteasy

THanks both of you.. i'll check out the other posts... I was never on tramadol for "years" or anything.. Never even had my own prescription.. just got them off and on from friends..

I'm not coming down on myself at all.. thinking that i'm a piece if garbage or anything.. my main thoughts are just lonely, depressed, BORED (that's the big one) and OCD out of control. (which i've always had a little bit)

anyway thanks, i'll check out the tram post

John

One of the nastiest things about tramadol seems to be that it can mess you up pretty good at a pretty low dose. People get addicted and go through bad withdrawals at just one pill a day. It's worse if you're using more, but it's a powerful drug.

I'm glad you're not having those self-hating kinds of thoughts. That's always what gets me, and it's obsessive.

Hang in there, and things will get better!

[dezz1801]

SF - Just wanted to check on you and see how you're doing...haven't heard from you in a few days. Just remember, the biggest task was quitting. It gets better every single day and you'll always find a new reason to stay off the pills. I'm on day 14 as of today, and I still get a craving here and there, and a late night from time to time, but it's all a part of it and I always know that tomorrow will be better than today. Hang in there! You're doing AWESOME!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by dezz1801

SF - Just wanted to check on you and see how you're doing...haven't heard from you in a few days. Just remember, the biggest task was quitting. It gets better every single day and you'll always find a new reason to stay off the pills. I'm on day 14 as of today, and I still get a craving here and there, and a late night from time to time, but it's all a part of it and I always know that tomorrow will be better than today. Hang in there! You're doing AWESOME!

The worst day clean is way better than the best day using. God bless.

[dezz1801]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

The worst day clean is way better than the best day using. God bless.

You know what? That's the most accurate statement if I've ever heard one! I like that!

[PeeKay]

THis is to Robert_325...This is my first time posting in this forum...I've been doing tons of reserach on the best way for me to come off of all of the drugs i've been on so heres my mini-story...PS before I get going into that too much, I just want to say RObert what an amazing person you sound like...giving all of these people help, encouragement and advice is a testament as to what a good, smart man you really must be, anyways, here it goes...So i'm only 22 years old (totally still a kid, I never thought in a million years i'd be spending my Sunday posting on a website asking for help with my drug dependancy issues, but it happened, so i'm gonna take care of it) I was written prescriptions for a medical condition a few years ago and have been on Oxycontin 60mg 2x a day, plus was taking up to 10 vic a day, alternating that with tramadol(which might i add is a DEVIL drug, only been on that about the last 10 months or so) So i've been taking those and have had any one of those 3 drugs pretty much in my system for about the last 3 solid years. All of my narcotic intake was prescribed by a doctor. Last year, i realized that I was totally losing myself while being on these drugs and tried stopping them. I made it about 2 weeks and of my worst symptoms, that lasted even longer than that, was my high heartrate that caused me not to be able to hardly walk down the stairs without feeling light headed. I am scared, nervous, and totally alone, that is until I found this site. Its amazing reading all of these stories seeing that peope are actually going throuh the same thing. I want to get off all of these medicines and stay off of them. I really think a huge part of my pain is the mental side effects of the narcotics, making me think im in worse pain than I really am, in order to justify taking more drugs. Well since I tried getting off last year(i've tried a few other times, tried tapering, stepping down, etc. but i always end up going back to more medicines because i know there thyere and just take them) Well, i'm sick of it. I dont know where I begin and the drugs end. I have been thru the pill...withdrawal...pills...withdrawals cycle many a time, but im done this time. I made an appointmetn to go see the doctor who prescribed all these pills to me and am going to tell him what I wnat to do, but last time I went to him all he really did was say "yeah, you'll be uncomfy for a while, so, be ready" and that was it. I feel like at this point, it's half dependency, with small signs of addiction starting to poke through. Addiction HIGHLY runs in my family, and being so young I want to handle this situation of getting off drugs correctly, and getting off these pills sccessfully. I read alot of info about Suboxone and think that might be a possibility but I'm still sorta unclear on whether it will cause me a new addiction,or not. I want to get on it and go that method so i can asses how much is addiction and how much is dependency cuz those are 2 different things. I found a dr here who prescribes Sub, and am thinking of making an appointment but dont want to go from pain killers, and get hooked on sub. my biggest fear/dilemma is that if I dont do the Sub method, i'll be right back on pain medicines in 2 weeks knowing that I most likely dont need them, just so i can feel 'normal' again. I dont want to be on Sub for a long duration, i'd like it to be a few months MAX if possible, but i just dont know what to do. I know when I go see my Dr tomorrow, i am going to lose it seeing as i've not told anybody in my family or boyfriend (who is AMAZING) about any of this. I atleast want a plan, and I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I went and got some of the things on the Thomas recipe, but dont have any benzos to help get thru the first few days, so im hoping my dr can possibly help. If not, im trying to get an idea of if I should just go with the sub and handle this problem as both an addiction and dependency, not just dependancy. I dont like to be around friends, im a major homebody now cuz i just dont enjoy being around people or social situations, and im not a loner by nature at all. im quite the opposite, which is why these pills have been catastrophic. I have taken 4 years to get through what should have taken me 2 years worth of college classes and want to get this ******** out of my life and mind for good. So, Robert, what do you think? Does Sub sound even close to something that could help? or what is your opinion? does it really work and help people as much as i've read? how dangerous is it actually going on the sub, i dont want it to be like methadone where i'll be on it permanently, is that possible to come off of? All in all, i'm young, im scared and im alone. I just need somoene to maybe share their experience w/ sub, compared to cold turkey, but i really think i do need the sub to help me through this low, low point in my life and get me going again. plus, i know the urge to use atleast in the first month would be minimize being on the sub, and i know if i can make itthrough those first couple months, i have a damn good chance of it staying that way. So i guess i just need reassurance that I WILL be ok, and that i will get through this. Does anyone know anything else that could help with the high heart rate? i bought lots of vitamins, valarian root, etc. to help, but, its gonna take more than that. So, anyone who thinks they could shed a little light to help me, i'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks again and i look forward to seeing/reading responses. Wish me luck guys, im gonna need it. but i AM determined to change my life and save myself now. Making that phone call to get info for the first time to one of the local clincs i broke down balling on the phone because im so so scared about this. Im not in withdrawal yet, but I will be soon and just the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach because i've been there so many times with no avail to make it out. I always go back and want this to be my last time with this. I have so many things I want to do with my life and with a pill bottle wrapped around my leg, i know i wont be able to accomplish any of those things. I also wanna find out about Sub & insurance stuff, what will it do to my medical records if i do go on sub now, will i be blacklisted or have a flag in my chart the rest of my life if i do this? What happens in that situation? Anyway, just wanted to get my racing mind calmed down and finally get some of my first questions out. Thanks for the help guys. I dont feel so alone anymore.

[anotheraddict]

PeeKay,

Robert will be along soon, I am sure. I just wanted to reach out and let you know that you are not alone. We can get you through this! I am not far into my recovery, so I come here often to read/post and remind myself of where I don't want to be. Anytime a craving hits, I am on here. It has helped so much that I have decided to quit smoking for the first time in over a decade. I am not much older than you...only 24, and I am a chronic pain patient. You will be surprised at how much less you hurt once you are off of the devil pills.

[Robert_325]

First of all RELAX !!! This will all work out as long as you follow through with the appropriate action. I realize that is what you're trying to do. And you're right about the pain being better once you're off the pain pills. It's wierd how that happens to almost everyone.

Ask yourself would you rather be sick and feel like hell for a week or so and then be over the w/d basically or go the 6-8 week route with the subs and have relatively NO w/d symptoms. It just takes longer but it's ultimately your decision. If you do the cold turkey using the Thomas Recipe you'll be done in a shorter time. I usually suggest the cold turkey first but only you know your own life and if you can do it. If you can't do the cold turkey for whatever reason then there is nothing wrong with subs. It's just imperative that you do it properly. I can help you with that and guarantee you won't become addicted to it IF you will be naive enough to do what I ask you to do.

The feelings in your chest could be the beginnings of CNS depression from the interactions of the different drugs you're taking. The drugs are probably putting a strain most likely on your nervous system as well as your respiratory system. I can't say for sure but if you read a drug interaction check on oxycontin, hydrocodone and tramadol you're going to start asking yourself what the hell you're doing taking all these meds together. There is a drug interaction checker at the top of this page just under the search box to the right a little. I suggest you check this out on the checker above.

Read the following link. This is how I suggest using suboxone. Let me know what you think. You decide which method is best for you to get clean and I will help you either way. The Thomas Recipe has helped lots of people get clean too. You could do well using either method. God bless.

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

[melinda7.5]

Hi peekay
I sure know how your feeling right now I was addicted to oxycontin and vic's also, It was a nightmare , but I made it I have been clean now since august.
and I will never touch another pain pill in my life...
I didn't go the sub route...but we will all support you what ever way you choose...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[dago77]

...Hey peekay! everyone knows what your going through. Go to the doc and get the subs if you can. Let Robert get you started and work his taper for you. Why go through the c/t if you have access to the subs? You can get started and will be feeling much better. Right now your mind is going crazy. It happend to all of us. Even though you will be on some type of opiate based drug. You will have time to get stable and get your legs back under you. Time to set up a good plan for yourself. You will be off all the other drugs and can do the taper with out having to worry much. You do what you think is best for your life like Robert mentioned. But if it were me I would get on the sub to put me in a better place for a while and avoid the strong cravings in the beginning. Sure you will drag it out not being 100% clean for a few more weeks. But I think it will make things go a little more smooth for you. What ever you do I hope it goes well! You can do this once and for all peekay!

Ryan

[PeeKay]

Thank you all for those words of advice and of encouragement. I reallyfeel like based on my medical condition, Subs would be the smartest and most successful way to go. I know its going to cost e tons of money, but money means nothing if i have no life to live. But, heres what I mean by my medical condition(tell me what you guys think of this and if it makes sense or if i'm just really confused or what) Since i've tried and done cold turkey before, the amount of stress that my body went through with the withdrawals, the stress of that magnfied my pain and it absoluteley skyrocketed because of all of the effects and things were going through. I'm VERY sure that the only reason that my body did that is because stress triggers my pain big time, and running my body thru that again, it'll take a very long time going cold turkey to actualy know how much pain is from my healt issue, or from my bodys reaction to no meds. I know my pain is not nearly as bad as my mind now thinks it is and i feel certain that its from the chemical problems/imbalnces that my brain is going thru right now being on drugs. So i thnk to give it a fair run and really get to the bottom of how much pain im having, i need to get off of these pills as gently to my body as i can, without piling the extra stress on top of everything all so when this is over, I know exactly when i have pain, where i have pain, the level of it and how muc of it really exists, but as i posted earlier, i am HONESTLY 99.9% certain that i dont need any of the pain medicines i am on to help with pain control. I really do feel that my original reason for needin medicines in the first place is almost nothing, and the narcotics have compounded on top of it to make it worse. Its kind of ridiculous, sometimes ill take my pain medicines and 20 minutes later i'm much worse off than i was before. Its just mind blowing the things these medicines can do and mess with in the body. Which is why I think Sub would be my best bet, it will help me in more ways whereas I feel like cold turkey will make me worse off than I am now. I have to give myself a realistic goal, and for my mind and body, Subs i think are that goal. And Ryan, one thing that u said in ur post that i wantedto address, when you said itll just be a few more weeks until im 100% off everyhing and clean, I really consider starting the Sub process as the first day of working towards gtting clean. The huge thing is makig that phone call and choice in your mind that you wnnt to qut these things for good, and thats what i've done. I've set the ball rolling, and Subs or not, I already started the process working towards what I want and need more than anything...Gettng off these medicines once and for all. I was also thinking that if i do have some minor pain after this is all over, can't i be prescribed non-narcotic, IBprofuen or something like that? I know there are other methods to help my pain, but i strongly feel like once this is over, i wont even need anything more than some motrin and/or tylenol every now and then. I also happen to chew, i know, kind of odd for a girl to chew, ha, but after i get a plan going for getting off these medicines, the chew is next to be quit. So,i'm feeling good and VERY excited for my doctor appoitment tomorrow so i can actually start doing the things i've been needing and wanting for so long. Wish me luck, and Pray to the insurance/pharmacy god that i wont go bankrupt doing this But,like i said above, reguardless of what this costs, its nothing compared to how great i'll feel on th other side of things when I finally have that day that I wake up, and dont take or need a single pill to function as a regular human being ever again. Thanks guys and i'll post after i find out more tomorrow.

[brndout]

Hi just wanted to let you know that we will be here for you , from the person who is just beginning this journey and those at the end. We have all been where you are and it takes courage -let us know how you are Linda