Hi Everybody,
This is the first time I've posted on this forum, actually I just found it and am real glad I did.
I was diagnosed two years ago with a very large spinal cord tumor, non-malignant but inoperable because all my nerves are wrapped up in it. Eventually I will lose the use of my legs, which is something that I accept don't have a choice really. After trying many different forms of pain meds they finally started me on
Oxycontin the dosages started off low but eventually worked their way up to 160 mg a day. For two years I've been taking the damn things I've not abused them in any way other than maybe when the pain was intolerable taking an extra one. It seemed that it was the only way I could have some form of quality of life at least until a couple of months ago when my right leg (of course) started to go numb and I had to quit driving. My family, which I'm sure thought that they were helping me what with all the bad press of the "hillybilly heroin" started telling me that I was a drug addict. It hurt because I never crushed them, slammed them did anything other than the occasional extra one. So last Monday I'd had with all their talk and threw the damn things away. I've never been in such hell, my doctor told me that I wasn't an addict but I had been taking them for so long that I was dependent on them boy was he right. After four days of doing it on my own I finally broke down and called my doctor he went on how strong I was being prescribed
valium,
clonidine and
Hydroxyzine for when my skin crawled. I only took the valium for a couple of days because I didn't feel that I needed it anymore. My problem now is when I went back to see the doc yesterday to see how I was doing he'd already forgotten why I was their, I realize that these doctors are terribly busy and see lots of people but I was so upset I was speechless. I asked him what to do with the pain because on a good day my pain level is usually a six bad days I can't walk without a walker. The oxy is the only thing that has given me some relief but he he has decided that I can't have narcotics anymore. He gave me some samples of
ultracet which I'm sorry don't do a damn thing for the pain. I would love to live my life without taking drugs and I feel wonderful mind wise (if that makes sense) not taking them but I want to be able to function too. I'm on Social Security Disability and not eligible for any kind of health insurance until I've been disabled for 24 months which will be in November, I'm on Purdue's patient assistance program so I get my oxycontin for free and with such a limited income and the inability to work I'm stuck. I can't afford to pay for pain meds so what do I do? How do I make him understand I don't want the meds to get high I want them to live I want to be able to hold my grandbaby and not cry from pain. I want to be able to go for a walk once in awhile without using a walker and I can't make him understand. Part of me wishes I'd just stuck it out and never told him I was quiting because now I think he just sees me as a druggie that wants my drugs back. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to talk to him to make him listen? If I could afford another form of pain med I would gladly take it because I never want to go through the withdrawals again. I survived them but it was the hardest thing I ever did. I just don't know where to turn or who to talk to I can't afford to keep going to the doctor. I feel so lost. If anyone has any suggestions I thank you in advance.
Vickie
oxy withdrawals 
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