[icandothis]

Originally Posted by Opee

Thanks, Mott. It has been a long, grueling month, I'll tell you that for free. Sometimes you just have to hit rock bottom, you know?

I don't care what you say (or even say to yourself) until you are 100% ready in your own mind, you will fail. Again and again.

This last month has not been pleasant. At all. Today was the first day of not feeling shaky at all. I look forward to posting at 11 days, it's the longest I've gone. The real milestone for me is 30 days.

I would not be where I am without ALL of you. I still have a long way to go, as we all know there is a big difference between getting clean and staying clean but if I shut my eyes I can place myself right back in that shower, shaking and vomiting, knowing I have a 12 hour work day ahead of me and I've used up every sick day/favor possible. I will NEVER go back to that place.

Thanks again for all the support and all the views.

Much much love,
Opee

hey opee jus hang threws this we have ur back 100% stay strong much love

[Opee]

Originally Posted by icandothis

hey opee jus hang threws this we have ur back 100% stay strong much love

Right back at ya! I Can Do This. You Can Do This. WE Can Do This. It's bite on a stick time, my friend. You got this, same as I do.

Opee

[melinda7.5]

Hi Opee
I just wanted to stop by and say Hi and see how you are doing...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

P.S. have you talked to Kara lately ???
just wondering how she is I need to e-mail her

[Opee]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi Opee
I just wanted to stop by and say Hi and see how you are doing...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

P.S. have you talked to Kara lately ???
just wondering how she is I need to e-mail her

Hi Mel,

Doing OK, mainly just tired at this point and don't have alot of energy. I'm pretty much a lump at the end of the day, but I don't physically feel too bad.

I get forwards form Kara still (generic send this to 10 people blah blah) and sent her an email several days ago, to which she has not responded. I know she is around as I get these forwards sometimes, but I haven't talked to her or had any communication for some time. I was hoping she would respond to my email. Let me know if you hear form her.

Thanks!
Opee

[Freedom4me]

Opee,
I knew this was THE time for you. I just knew it. Behind every man is a good woman. Even if it doesnt last, and I think it will, she was the right girl at the right time. You will be connected to her forever. You are so awesome. Even in your roughest moments you found some humor. I feel lucky that you are my friend. I have been really busy for work, traveling all over the country this month but I always check to see how you are. Keep fighting forever. So much to live for my friend. Love ya kid!!!! Makes me feel good that I was around to see you make it.
Jen

[icandothis]

hey opee

hows it goin hope your holding strong as i am (day 6 ) i know you can do this..... just imagine it as a test that you have to pass to enjoy a happy life for eternity..... keep truckin bro talk to you soon much love

[Opee]

Well, today is a milestone. Can't remember EVER goign 11 days. I made 10 a few months back, so I'm already ahead of the game. Still don't feel great, but I've read it can take as long as 14 days, some people even a month. Doesn't matter if it's 1 more day or 100 more days. Nothing's changed.

Thanks for the kind words!

Opee

[caughtagain]

Well Done Opee, Keep fighting the fight. You never have to use again ,my friend.... CA

[Freedom4me]

Opee,
I am bursting with pride for you. Take it slow and easy my friend. I will always be here, unless I win the lotto, then I am gone traveling...ha ha ha

[Opee]

Originally Posted by Freedom4me

Opee,
I am bursting with pride for you. Take it slow and easy my friend. I will always be here, unless I win the lotto, then I am gone traveling...ha ha ha

Hah! You and me both, Jen. The $4 a week I flush down the toilet on lottery tickets is worth it to keep the dream alive!

I'm taking it any way I can get it, Friend. I feel OK, just tired and lethargic. Today is my FIRST 100% drug-free day (no Klonopin, Xanax, Soma or Adderall). Feels weird not to feel weird, you know? First time in a long time that I have just felt, well, me.

The energy will return, it already is, just slowly, like a poisoned turtle.

I just re-read sentence, what a weird analogy. It fits, so I'll leave it.

Opee

[Opee]

Ehh, I ended up taking a .5 mg of Klonopin at lunch. Not a big deal, but I couldn't be a sham. Maybe tomorrow. Either way, I remain opaite free and that's the main thing!

Opee

[Opee]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi Opee
I just wanted to stop by and say Hi and see how you are doing...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

P.S. have you talked to Kara lately ???
just wondering how she is I need to e-mail her

Talked to K the other day (well emailed). She's having the same problems, but working thru them and remaining positive. She doing OK, it was nice to hear from her.

[Freedom4me]

Opee,
Talk to me my friend. How are you? Are things going great and you are feeling good or do we need to retrack our steps a bit and get back at it? Give me an update no matter waht it is. You always tell the truth and you know I will be here.

[Opee]

Originally Posted by Freedom4me

Opee,
Talk to me my friend. How are you? Are things going great and you are feeling good or do we need to retrack our steps a bit and get back at it? Give me an update no matter waht it is. You always tell the truth and you know I will be here.

Hey Jen,

Things are fine, been 16 days. No need to retrack anything, just been busy and not spending as much time on here is all. All is good around here!

Opee

[newyorkgal]

Congratulations Opee! You are doing great!! I just wonder what does a poisoned turtle feel like? LOL

[Freedom4me]

Op,
That is really great. I was a little worried but glad it was a false alarm. Glad you are taking time doing real life things, it means you are getting better!! Just drop a line once in awhile.

[Opee]

Originally Posted by newyorkgal

Congratulations Opee! You are doing great!! I just wonder what does a poisoned turtle feel like? LOL

Something that moves s-s-s-l-l-l-l-o-o-o-o-w-w-w-w-w............

Like me, when I'm firmly entrenched in Day 3 and 4 and kicking hard.

[cheekysod]

good for you opee,
i think you are a genuine straight up good dude.

keep up the fight, let me know how "not wierd" is for you, heh heh,.
cheeky

[newyorkgal]

LOL Opee..... Now I get it. I actually can identify. I have felt like a poisoned turtle time and time again during my life. But the thing is, the poison is leaving, even if its leaving very s l o o o o w l y..... The turtle is getting healthy!!! And that is what counts.
NYG

[Freedom4me]

Opee,
Just checking in buddy. Hope things are rolling along for you. I've had a crazy month of travel but other than a quick turn around to Oakland on Saturday I think I am done awhile. Yipee. So is the physical stuff over with? Keep up with the exercise, I am clean since Feb and can tell if I miss working out even one day, which I missed amny days while traveling for work, yuck. So feeling a little sluggish myself. That might be from going in and out of different time zones all month. Back to my daily routine today. Drop me a line when you get a moment. How is your gal? Things good there?

[percashawn]

Originally Posted by newyorkgal

LOL Opee..... Now I get it. I actually can identify. I have felt like a poisoned turtle time and time again during my life. But the thing is, the poison is leaving, even if its leaving very s l o o o o w l y..... The turtle is getting healthy!!! And that is what counts.
NYG

Nowyork;
I wish my turtle would stick his head out once in a while. I think it's dead. -sigh-

Howdy Free: How's it going? I have been out of commision for a while but wanted to see how everyone was doing. Sounds like your doing great, by the sound of your voice. I'm really happy for the Op. He is free, like you. Can't wait for that day for me. I had an argument with the wife, which doesn't happen very often, and used that for an excuse to do 4 a day agian. Depressed. I'll be OK though. E-mail me if you want at: abonerinsweatpants@live.com Would love 2 get some 1 on 1. Thanks Buddy!
Shawn

[Freedom4me]

Shawn,
You are going to be just fine. You have a great attitude. Just dust yourself off and start again. Opee can tell you that it is the persistence that pays off. He had a lot of starts and stops and now look where he is. You can do this. Keep posting, even when you "fall off". It will help you get right back on the wagon again. I was one of the lucky ones, caught myself early enough that I was able to do it in one try... but it's not over yet for me. It never will be. I will always have to be really careful. But I am up for the challenge. We can do this together.

[mottam]

Opee:
How are you?
Still going strong? GREAT!
We are all very proud of you - keep doing the next right thing. By now, you should be feeling pretty darn good - congrats.

Shawn:
Have not had the pleasure to talk w/ you yet?
Try not to let external issues derail your recovery. I have had a rough go of it lately with my wife. No matter what - the opiates are not going to help; not the answer.

Jenny is a good influence - Take her advice.
Pick yourself up - move on.

mottam

[dago77]

...Percashawn, women and that fact that i really like to get hi on pills were always my excuse. Mainly women though! Only takes it away short term brother. Once u thaw out, its even worse. By the way, ur email adress is hallarious dude!

[Opee]

http://www.drugs.com/forum/general/p...ance54740.html


To All,
I would like to thank everyone for their caring and efforts throughout these last 8 months. I would not be 20 days clean without almost all of you. That being said, however, I will no longer be participating in the forums. Please see the above link for any background (in case you haven’t seen it). I originally came to this site looking for advice and a support network. I found both. In fact, I ended up making several good friends in the process, which came as a pleasant surprise to me. I’ve been told by MANY people that I have made a difference in their lives; I think that is fantastic, I think it makes us even. Unfortunately, I am no longer able to view this forum in the same positive manner that I once did. Given all the comments on the referenced thread, I do not think I am alone. Regardless of circumstance, how many posts, time on the boards, people need to be treated with respect. I was very taken aback by some of the posts.
Robert, you are a great person and you have done a lot for me. I have no issue with you. I think your remarks were unprofessional and out of line, but given everything you have done for me personally (I’m not even counting what you have done for everyone else) I bear you no ill will and thank you again for all of your help. YOUR record speaks for itself. Your background as a user also gives you a very large amount of credibility.
Which brings us to Cat’s Meow. I am disgusted by your comments and your demeanor in general. I don’t care how many posts you have or how much time you have logged, YOUR comments are absolutely unacceptable. Your first post was “You stole your mom's script? What a piece of s.h.i.t you are, you get no help from me.” If only you had left it at that, but you couldn’t. You chose to follow it up with “One of the rules here that I always try and follow is "don't give people advice on abusing drugs", but sometimes there's gray area, but when somebody has the audacity to steal not just a few pills, but a whole script from their own mother and then ask for advice, I draw the line, and consider them fair game and declare hunting season open, he has a bullseye painted on him from now on as far as I'm concerned. The only way I'll help this person is to help him into a set of handcuffs, and if I could he would be sitting in jail right now, in the hole no less.I like Robert's comment, and know he only said it out of frustration, frustration because he can't personally wrap his hands around the OP's throat and shake some sense into him. Addiction is no excuse for stealing from friends or relatives, if you do, you get no-quarter from me, and I didn't hear one word of contrite from that fool, he needs to stick his head in the toilet and flush it a few times and send his fecal brains down the drain.” A little much. Actually, a lot much. “Declaring hunting season open? A bulls-eye painted on him? I’ll help him into a set of handcuffs, he should be sitting in the hole? You get no-quarter from me.” Could you be a little more dramatic, please, we didn’t get you the first 3 times?
Unfortunately, it didn’t end there. THIS is the line that I (and I imagine any other addicts out there – something it appears you know little about, so it makes it awfully easy to judge someone with a problem, doesn’t it?) took such umbrage with: “Maybe to you it’s some kind of code of honor for fellow brethren of low life thieving addicts? I don't blame the drugs or the addiction, its a character flaw, I don't care how bad an addict needs a fix, a person of conscience doesn't steal from their own mother (a whole script anyway), a decent person has a line they never cross, I would have more respect for him had he robbed a liquor store.” Really? You would have more respect from him if he had robbed a liquor store? Well, I certainly don’t speak for everyone (nor would I ever try to – although I think I speak for a heck of a lot more people on here than you realize) but I would like to think we could find ourselves a better class of mentor that THAT. “You made me bare my claws mister, watch out for the fangs!” I can say with all honesty that is the dumbest, lamest thing I have ever read on here. How old are you, for crying out loud?
You also said “I say what has to be said, some like it, some don't, take it or leave it, but that's how I am, and will continue to be.” You say what has to be said according to whom? You? Considering you were never a user, your opinion and advice is next to worthless to me. And I imagine others, after learning that, probably feel the same way. But, I’m speaking for Opee, not anyone else. You have not been where most of us have been or currently are. Robert has, his opinion on drug-related matters has value. He’s speaking from experience. I guess you’re just speaking from a textbook. Someone once said “we deal in reality here.” You are not reality. You possess no empathy. You say you’ve never done anything crummy (unless being rude, judgmental and generally degrading isn’t anything crummy). You and I have a very different definition of crummy. You said “My history on this site speaks for itself, period, end of sentence.” I have been on this site quite a lot over the last 8 months and consider myself fortunate to “never have crossed your path.” I hope I can continue to do so. I don’t know anything about your history on this site, just what I have witnessed on this thread. I would edit your above statement to read “My remarks on this thread speaks for itself, period, end of sentence.” They certainly do.
As I am leaving and you are staying, I’m sure this means nothing to you, but why don’t you try a little empathy in the future? You don’t have to condone someone’s actions, but your comments have been ridiculous. Frankly, I think YOU are ridiculous. I have nothing else to say on the matter, or to you. Let our path’s never cross again. I’d sure hate to see those vaunted fangs of yours… period, end of sentence. Feel free to chastise me all you like, it will be for your benefit, not mine, as I’ll never even read it.
I would like to say a special thank you to Freedom4Me, CaughtAgain, PercShawn, Mottam, Newyorkgal, Cheekysod, Karaboo and everyone else who took the time to read my posts (sorry, there are just too many to name). I did it for me, I never intended anyone else to be impacted from my story. You have been the greatest support network a man could ever ask for. I have many fond memories of this site and all of you. You stuck by me through thick and thin, relapse after relapse. Most strangers would not have done that. It is with a heavy heart that I take my leave, but I can no longer participate in something that I feel has been corrupted and filled with hypocrisy. You can explain or define your replies all you want, but that’s the problems with words (be they written or spoken), you just can’t take them back. You can apologize, you can say you didn’t mean them (not that you did), whatever, but they are still there.
I am 20 days clean and will remain that way. Again, thank you all who have assisted me and stuck by me. I will be pursuing any sobriety help I feel I may need in the future elsewhere.
Jen, you have my email address, please feel free to give it to CaughtAgain, if he so desires. I wish you all the best of luck in your future endeavors.
“It’s been real. It’s been fun. But, it hasn’t been real fun.” Via con dios, Amigos!

Respectfully,
Opee

[Freedom4me]

Op,
The link isn't working for me so I'm not sure what that is about. Is it a new post? old post? I can't find your dang email. If you have mine please email me or give me the first 3 letters here.

[cheekysod]

freedom it was under the general forum, prescription filling under strange circumstances.
i was hoping opee wouldnt leave. what a bummer.
i think he is correct though, as i am one of the ones who got abused in that thread.
OPEE THANKS FOR ALL OF YOU INFECTIOUS POSITIVE ATTITUDE, IM GOING TO MISS YOU BRO.

[Freedom4me]

Wow,
I just read the thread. Very sad. I can see why Opee decided to go. I didn't sign up for that either. I agree with what your said Opee. I don't think there should be any place for all the name calling and judgemental behavior here. It's not the place for it. There is no difference in stealing pills, stealing a script, stealing money. It is all addict behavior and it's wrong. This site usually leaves me feeling inspired and that left me feeling sick. What a shame. Opee I understand your choice. Keep up your hard work. You have come so far and I really think you have this thing beat this time. I will miss your humor as well. Take care my friend.

[newyorkgal]

Wow, that is just awful. He was such an interesting and inspiring guy. In addition, he was real funny. I'll miss him alot and yet, I agree with what was sad. No room for name calling or insults. No room for being so judgmental a s most addicts have done things they are extremely ashamed of, things they'll never come clean about if they fear such an attack. It became more than that kid who never even came back. It became about the idea of judging an addiction so harshly, I think. I'll miss Opee.

[Robert_325]

Opee .... I have had my feelings hurt and thought people were out of line here more times than I can count. I understand that sometimes people don't like my posts, but even you agreed I was there for you from day one. I posted the first post to you and never hurt you once. I always try to tell it like it is based on my experience which is real!

It's not necessary for you to leave. I've thought about it several times but what does that accomplish? It's only hurting you. You should reconsider your decision buddy. There is a place for you here. God bless.