[Freedom4me]

Opee,
How ya doing today buddy? Hope things are plugging along like they should. You son is a doll and will be so happy to have you "back" in his life. It's all worth it my friend.

[ashforever]

I things are getting easier for you. Your story sounds so similar to mine. I guess they all kind of do. I just want to wish you luck and hope things are getting better for you. Im still exhausted to but the worst has passed. It kind of feels like your searching for this peace that you cant find, but im praying it will come in time. I played outside with my daughter yesterday for the first time in along time. Even though i felt like ********, i know it made her happy. You can do it!! I keep getting calls too to score it seems like its easier to get pills now then when i was using. How typical.... Good luck to you and I will pray for you!!
ash

[KKG]

It is soooo good to hear all the positive talk on here. I posted on a other site but not to many replies. Im trying to get clean this is my first day. I was taking 6-8 vicodin 10/650 for over a year now. I know some of you have taken more in one day but were all have the same question "how long does it take to get over it"? I have spent more money on pills than my own children i think. But as of today i am done. Im sure we all have done the same to get those pills, lied, steal and cheat loved ones out of being ourselves. But no longer will I be a slave to the pills. Today is MY day!!!

Originally Posted by KKG

It is soooo good to hear all the positive talk on here. I posted on a other site but not to many replies. Im trying to get clean this is my first day. I was taking 6-8 vicodin 10/650 for over a year now. I know some of you have taken more in one day but were all have the same question "how long does it take to get over it"? I have spent more money on pills than my own children i think. But as of today i am done. Im sure we all have done the same to get those pills, lied, steal and cheat loved ones out of being ourselves. But no longer will I be a slave to the pills. Today is MY day!!!

You're absolutely right about the slave part. I hated that part, and 13 days ago decided I couldn't live that way anymore. As far as how long - it depends on the amount of time and amount. I'd say 3 days would be the worst of it. After that it's mainly the mental stuff.

[KKG]

Originally Posted by bestday

You're absolutely right about the slave part. I hated that part, and 13 days ago decided I couldn't live that way anymore. As far as how long - it depends on the amount of time and amount. I'd say 3 days would be the worst of it. After that it's mainly the mental stuff.

Thanks for all the positive thoughts. Well i have made it through most of the day at work, tomorrow will be more tought than today, but i know i can do it. Well im out for today, i will post again in the morning to tell how my night went.

[caughtagain]

Hey Opee, I just wanted to come by and say hey. How are you doing today? I hope you have a nice weekend pal.... CA

Opee,

How you doing ???

Keep us posted not matter what we are here to support you !!

Eric

[Opee]

Hi Gang,

I was off yesterday and haven't replace the mouse at home my son broke (sigh...6 year olds...) Hello, new friends, thank you for posting. I could not be cooler with ANYONE using this thread to their advantage. It helps me as much as it helps you. Thanks for the reach outs. In answer to a few questions, 6-8 pills a day is not bad, as I take 6-8 pills to get high and then 6-8 4 or so hours later and so on. Sooooooo, I think you can shake this in @ 3 days. It gets worse each time becausde I bender out worse each time. The Thomas Recipe is floating around but I just spent a bunch of money at GNC and it didn't help me. My personal detox kit is only: Potassium tablets, multi-vitamins, Immodium (buy alot) and all the Klonopin/Xanax/Valium I can get my hands on. And about a gallon of water a day. If you are lucky enough to get off work, do it. I've used up every excuse and favor calling in while dopesick so I just gut it out and be miserable.

Things are improving for me. 2 days in with NOTHING in my body (OK, I smoked some weed yesterday while watching Wolverine on Blu-Ray) but I'm staying the course. I know we're all supposed to be clean, but I don't see me giving up my wine/weed in the evenings. Pills are what is destroying my body and my mind so I'm leaving them all alone. Yep, it's all there: phantom pain, zero energy, ALL of it, but I no longer feel that pukiness feeling like when you have a bad hangover. I sure as hell look better, but I've got weight to gain back. I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. That's too skinny. Eating and stomach issues remain, I'm living off fruit grain breakfast bars and Chunky soup. In 2 weeks if I never see another effing can of soup it will be too soon!

Please post as often as you would like, we're all in this together. For some reason this thread does get alot of activity, where the main one hasn't had a post since my last one (at least on Wed.)

Regards,
Opee

[Opee]

Originally Posted by KKG

Thanks for all the positive thoughts. Well i have made it through most of the day at work, tomorrow will be more tought than today, but i know i can do it. Well im out for today, i will post again in the morning to tell how my night went.

If you are anything like me, it went like this:

Day One was manageable. Worsens as the day continues but I wake up feeling OK. By 6pm, I feel it.

Day Two - wake up feeling like ********. Feel like it all day.

Day 3 - worse than Day 2. You haven't slept, ate and hate the world

Dat 4 - same

Day 5 - improvement

Day 6 - BIG turning point, feeling human, on the upward trend - each day gets better

So, Day's 2-4 are really bad for me, I hope they are not for you. Again, it all boils down to amount of usage and duration. My amount is an average of @20 a day. One day I may take 30-40, another 10, others none. All depends on supply and demand, but I've done the math and it's generally @ 600 various painkillers a month. That is WAY unsafe and that is why I feel like I do.

If you take nothing from this site, take at least this: Nip it early as possible, because it isn't gonna get easier. You just need more and more. I said in an earlier post that's it's mind-blowing to me that 2 500mg Vic's ever knocked me on my ass. If I took 2 now, I wouldn't even feel it. Learn from my mistakes and DO NOT get yourselves to this point, it has completely taken over my life.

Much Love,
Opee

[KKG]

Originally Posted by Opee

If you are anything like me, it went like this:

Day One was manageable. Worsens as the day continues but I wake up feeling OK. By 6pm, I feel it.

Day Two - wake up feeling like ********. Feel like it all day.

Day 3 - worse than Day 2. You haven't slept, ate and hate the world

Dat 4 - same

Day 5 - improvement

Day 6 - BIG turning point, feeling human, on the upward trend - each day gets better

So, Day's 2-4 are really bad for me, I hope they are not for you. Again, it all boils down to amount of usage and duration. My amount is an average of @20 a day. One day I may take 30-40, another 10, others none. All depends on supply and demand, but I've done the math and it's generally @ 600 various painkillers a month. That is WAY unsafe and that is why I feel like I do.

If you take nothing from this site, take at least this: Nip it early as possible, because it isn't gonna get easier. You just need more and more. I said in an earlier post that's it's mind-blowing to me that 2 500mg Vic's ever knocked me on my ass. If I took 2 now, I wouldn't even feel it. Learn from my mistakes and DO NOT get yourselves to this point, it has completely taken over my life.

Much Love,
Opee

Thanks for the input. Today was not bad at all and that scares me to think tomorrow and the next and so on will be worse. I get energy then i come to a complete stop then energy again, so now i know not to over do it when i have energy. No one in my family or friends know im going through this so im sooo glad I found you all to help with questions and support. I have the weekend off so im hoping to get some rest and sleep some off. I do have two children at home but old enough to do somethings on their own so i can take it easy, Fake it till ya make it I guess... Oh and congrats to EVERYONE here for come out of the darkness of the evil little pills!!!

[Opee]

That's great if you can keep this quiet and pass it off as the flu or a weird, short virus. Whatever. As long as you don't use, in a few days you'll feel better, like being sick for real. My problem was I wouldn't stop and after 3 days of agony I'd finally get my hands on a stash and BAM, right back where I started. It's real easy to forget how miserable you were when those Hydro's start kicking in after 30 minutes. It just instantly would erase from my mind what I had been thru. I've done that more times than I can even count. So, I was "getting an illness" every other week. They were much cooler than they should have been at my job and I took advantage until my boss sat me down and said the owner told him I missed more work in 1 year than my boss ahd in 15. Ouch. No more call-in's for Opee. I may look like ******** and function at 30%, but by God I'm in my seat every work day.

Stay the course, your usage is not over the top. It is 100% that you are not taking the medicine as directed, but you were smart enough the seek assistance or information at a much earlier stage than I did.

I'll never advocate lying to loved one's, but I will to protect them. If you can beat this on your own, the FIRST time, you will be an amazing human and I see no reason to tell anyone anything. You recognized a problem and corrected it. Period.

Once you start relapsing (over and over) it's time to start talking to loved ones. It's not fun conversation, and I implore you to avoid it if possible. If you ever felt down on yourself, talk to your brother about being a junkie and see how much worse you feel after that.

I have faith in you, you can beat this. If I can go even 1 day without taking painkillers, anyone can. Then it's 2 days and so forth.

Post as often as you want, I check it daily except for Thursdays and Sundays. Let's link arms and end this ********.

Your New Pal,
Opee

[Riff]

Hey Opee - how ya doing?

Was away part of last week and have been buried in work and other issues the past few days but wanted to check in with you and see how you're doing.

I'm doing OK. Down to 2.5mg /day (1/2 of a 5mg pill). Went to cut the cord totally once or twice over the past few days but the stomach started acting up so decided to give it a little longer at this once a day ultra-low dose. Will try it again at the end of the week. I'm probably going to have at least a little trouble with my stomach no matter what, so I'll let it go a few days next time and see how it goes. I'm hoping it will be just a little uncomfortable for a day or so and then home free from the physical stuff. We'll see.

Otherwise - am feeling better than I have in ages and totally off all other meds.

I think I'm on the right track as I could have refilled again today for another month and I passed on it. Never thought I'd see that day. Usually (read: always), I would be scheming how I could get an early fill because I always ran out way before my fill date, and here I am passing up a month's supply. Hope I keep the strength and will to not make that call and get that scrip. But I'm feeling great and I don't want to go back.

Doc probably thinks I died or got lost in South America or something...lol. He'll probably be sending out a search party if he doesn't hear from me soon...

Hopefully you're feeling a lot better by now. You're pretty far in at this point so I hope you're starting to feel "normal" again. Who would have though that "normal" was the new cool? But that's my new high and it's the best one I've had in years.

Drop me a note and let me know how you're doing.

Best,

- Riff

[Freedom4me]

Opee!!!!!!!!!!!
Where are ya friend. Let's get back at it. I hope you are doing well. If not, we can get it going again. Let me know how you're doing and what is going on. Hopefully talk to you soon.
Jen

[caughtagain]

hey Opee, Just checking in to say hi... How are you doing? Let us know if we can help..... CA

[GBAnon]

You think you're skinny Opee! My boyfriend is 6' and he weighed only around 120 after detoxing for 5 days, though he only ever weighed about as much as 135 healthy...

I'm glad you're doing so well. (: You're a trooper for going into work during w/d. Eeek.

[Opee]

Sorry, been quiet around here the last few days and pretty busy. I've done really well, but still have taken some here and there for headaches. I saw my headache Dr. yesterday and he thinks it's rebound headaches and I imagine he's right. So, he put me on a steroid for a month that will supposedly keep me from getting headaches and work all the Excedrin/APAP ******** out of my system. I just started taking them this morning and feel pretty good. He said I would, I'd have more energy, enjoy it. Good timing, because I can use extra energy. I haven't been perfect, but better than I have been, ever.

I'm truly giving this steroid thing a shot, the timing on his suggestion to do this couldn't be better.

An old flame from 17 years ago came out of nowhere (gotta love Facebook) a few days ago and we spent the day together. Turns out, she's a pillhead, too. This is good and bad. Bad because of the obvious, good because it's someone I can be open and honest with. I will be shocked if this relationship doesn't go somewhere. We both rememebered how damn much we have in common and have a divorce under our belt. You know, I had sworn off women, and then BAM, out of nowhere the #1 crush of my high school life is back in my life and just so happens to live in my town. Life is really crazy sometimes, you know?

Originally Posted by Opee

Sorry, been quiet around here the last few days and pretty busy. I've done really well, but still have taken some here and there for headaches. I saw my headache Dr. yesterday and he thinks it's rebound headaches and I imagine he's right. So, he put me on a steroid for a month that will supposedly keep me from getting headaches and work all the Excedrin/APAP ******** out of my system. I just started taking them this morning and feel pretty good. He said I would, I'd have more energy, enjoy it. Good timing, because I can use extra energy. I haven't been perfect, but better than I have been, ever.

I'm truly giving this steroid thing a shot, the timing on his suggestion to do this couldn't be better.

An old flame from 17 years ago came out of nowhere (gotta love Facebook) a few days ago and we spent the day together. Turns out, she's a pillhead, too. This is good and bad. Bad because of the obvious, good because it's someone I can be open and honest with. I will be shocked if this relationship doesn't go somewhere. We both rememebered how damn much we have in common and have a divorce under our belt. You know, I had sworn off women, and then BAM, out of nowhere the #1 crush of my high school life is back in my life and just so happens to live in my town. Life is really crazy sometimes, you know?

Glad to hear you re-connected with your old girlfriend, Facebook is awsome I too have made contact with many old friends through them. Maybe something will come of this, perhaps your story of getting clean will help her do the same. Keep us posted and best wishes.

Eric

[Freedom4me]

Opee,
So glad to hear from you. Be careful my friend. If she has the same problem it could really be a recipe for disaster. I don't want to sound like a downer and I don't even know the girl so maybe you can base your new relationship on working on both of your recoveries. I hope so. If she still wants to use I would stay away. Opee, you have done this long enough to know that there is no happy ending to pill addiction. It is death or jail. Stay the course. Where is her head in all this with the pills? is she still using? is she ready to quit?

[Opee]

I'm gonna take this one slow. She isn't nearly as bad as me, but it's more anxiety type stuff. Xanax, psyche type stuff. She had a rough childhood, but that's not her fault. However, I have a few things of my own to get handled and am not really looking to take on someone else's responsibilities and/or issues. I still have feelings for her, but my initial excitement has cooled a little, safe to say. You know how it is when you see someone like that, all you can think about is the good.

I'm 36 and have been around the block too many times not to see possible signs. This will be taken slow and we'll see. I don't know exactly what all she's on, but it's all scrips from Dr.'s. She doesn't get pills off the street and 1 norco is good for her, so she's nowhere near my level. However, I am not sure she is as balanced as me. For an addict, I actually really have my ******** together in alot of ways. Like basic living skills. I'm not quite seeing that from her, and that concerns me more than the fact she takes tranquilizers for PTSD (3 years military - it really messes people up over there, Man). Anyway, MY recovery and MY future (along with my son) is where my head is at. This other stuff we'll take day by day. I don't jump into anything.

Thanks for the concern, it was warranted. You're a sharp lady, Jen, that much is obvious from our discussions.

Opee

[Robert_325]

Opee ..... Hi buddy! For what my humble opinion is worth to you I think that Jenny could not have given you any better advice than what she said. I agree with Jenny 100%! I would be so freakin scared if I were in your shoes.

BE CAREFUL. Nothing is worth ending up in the gutter. Two people trying to do recovery together is almost a recipe for disaster. It's hard enough for one person to be successful getting clean. If one relapses, the other almost ALWAYS follows suit.

I would run for the hills! Nothing against your girl, she is probably a very nice person with the best of intentions. But this is your life dude. Concentrate on saving yourself first.

In recovery it's a standard rule that we don't get involved with ANYONE until both people have AT LEAST one full year of clean time under their belt. That plan is a proven method for giving your relationship a chance.

I sure hope that you really think seriously about this before it goes too far. You are the one I'm concerned for, I don't know her. But I've seen you struggle and you don't need to be trying to save someone else. Again, it's not my busines but I HAD to throw that in there as I care what happens to YOU.

Be careful and take care my friend. God bless.

[Opee]

Robert,

Great hearing from you, too! Your opinion is not humble, it is worth it's weight in gold to me. I think you're both correct, as you could easily read the difference in tone between my two posts. I'm not ready to head for the hills yet, but I need ALOT more information before this goes anywhere.

I also agree that 2 people in recovery together usually ends in disaster. I've made too much progress the last 6 months to start over. As always, people are on their best behavior when they initially meet up. As the conversations continued and I got a clearer picture (one I put together thru snippets of conversation) I think she's kind of a mess. I can't say it for a fact, but from our initial talking on Tuesday to today, I'm sensing the real person here. Don't take it the wrong way, but I need a way clearer picture of where she's at. I know where I'M at, and if she's not int he same place, nice seeing you again, take care.

I am a mature adult, but both of you are older than me and have had more life experiences. I trust your wisdom and know that you only have my best interests at heart. I take no offense at anything nor any insinuations in regards to my old gf. I'm taking this very slow, a friendship has to be rebuilt first, I need alot more information, then, well, then we'll just see. I can't deny feelings for someone, but I can deny someone who will be detrimental to myself and son.

Good advice, both of you, but like I said, I don't jump into anything. I'll keep you posted, but I just don't know what all she's on and what all has happened to her in the past 17 years. It could be alot. Thnaks for looking out for me, I mean that.

Opee

[Opee]

Hi All,

OK, it isn't what I thought. She had a Xanax (used to) issue and likes snorting Adderall and Ritalin. I've done that a million times so I can't say much. However, I don't do that anymore and just gently made it clear where I was at. She didn't know I was as bad as I am and actually took it pretty coolly. I told her I can't have her doing that if this gonna work out. She was agreeable. We talked about several times over the weekend and after years in the car business I can read people like a book. I honestly did not detect any dishonesty or any changing of stories. I believe her. I can also walk at any time if I don't like what I'm seeing. I know the signs.

So, as long as she stops doing that (and says she will) I'm willing to give this thing a shot. Baby steps, day by day, but I'll try it. I like her enough and I haven't felt that way about anybody in a very long time. Picking up women in bars grew old about 1 year after my divorce. Just too old for it.

Truth of the matter is, my problem is way worse than hers, so I can deal with this. I just made it clear that I consider myself to be in recovery right now (still slipping here and there - I have a weekend getaway with a buddy and I'm not even going to kid myself that I'll stay strait) and can't have it. So, unfortunately, most likely I'm starting this process yet again come Monday, but I must be honest. The liklihood of my using this weekend is very high. I hate to say that on here, it goes against everything we talk about, but I can't be anything but 100% honest here.

Either way, I know you'll be here. For what it's worth, I really am trying here, but, damm, Man, I can't even go a whole day without getting W/D. I believe I'll ride out this week and, party this weekend and be right back where I am now Monday after 4 miserable days. To be quite frank, I'm just sick of being sick. I'm sick of feeling like hell all the time if I don't have $80 of pills in my system. We ALL know this. I just finally came to the realization (here's to you, Riff) I've suffered enough. Just barely managing to get thru the day so I can look forward to (maybe) a handful of pills and my couch has just lost it's fun. I have FINALLY reached the point where the negatives most definitely outweigh the positives. There is no question. Jen nailed it hard. Death or jail. Those are the choices. Death sounds bad and prison sounds worse. Skinny white guys don't do so hot in the joint.

So, a bit of rambling, but after the weekend I am going to respectfully disagree that she is bad for me. I almost feel like I'm bad for her, but that isn't true. She's just one more thing to want to be clean for (I already have enough).

We'll see. We'll just see...

Take care, and as always, thanks for reading.

Opee

[caughtagain]

Hey Opee, I just wanted to pop on and wish you well and tell you that I am in your corner man. Tell you what,,, this addiction thing is a pain in the tail. In the first book of Caught again, I went through so much of what you are going through. The internal struggle of using, getting clean, feeling proud of that and then relapsing. I just want you to know that the key is to get up, dust yourself off and start again. Know this, it will stick. It sounds like you are ready and WE ARE here for you. The honesty you are sharing on this site is admirable. People need to know that addiction is not cut and dry, but is full of times where using happens. But when it does people do and will start to make the right choice and then continue to make that next right choice. I am glad to hear you have found someone. I hope you two work the process together and be a sucess story Opee. I am in your corner pal... CA

[Opee]

Originally Posted by caughtagain

Hey Opee, I just wanted to pop on and wish you well and tell you that I am in your corner man. Tell you what,,, this addiction thing is a pain in the tail. In the first book of Caught again, I went through so much of what you are going through. The internal struggle of using, getting clean, feeling proud of that and then relapsing. I just want you to know that the key is to get up, dust yourself off and start again. Know this, it will stick. It sounds like you are ready and WE ARE here for you. The honesty you are sharing on this site is admirable. People need to know that addiction is not cut and dry, but is full of times where using happens. But when it does people do and will start to make the right choice and then continue to make that next right choice. I am glad to hear you have found someone. I hope you two work the process together and be a sucess story Opee. I am in your corner pal... CA

Hey Pal,

I gave this some serious thought last night (before I logged on today) and I am cancelling my trip. I do not need "one final bender." I've had 7-8 "final benders" over the last several months. Today is a solid Day 2. I feel rotten. I felt rotten last night. And since I have Fri-Sun off from this getaway, I going to serve myself in a better way and recuperate. If I can gut it out til Thurs night then I should be feeling better and 3 days should do it. I've said this so many times, I don't expect anyone to take me seriously, but THIS is my time. My son was enough to get clean for (let alone myself) but this relationship has zero chance of success if I'm using. Why? Because I'll either be high and not care and feeling great, or I'll be a train wreck who can't go to the park or the coffee shop or whatever. It has become official: Opiates are ruling my life. I mean, when I take 6-8 norco's on an evening and by the next morning (certainly by lunchtime) I feel awful, that's about as cut and dried as you can get.

Being as I have been thru this so many times before, cold turkey doesn't work. I have 16 norco's and a bottle of Darvocet (this will be my last refill) and I have to taper down. I can't do it any other way. I watch these heroin addicts on Intervention getting dopesick within 10 hours, and that's me. I'm disgusted to look in the mirror. And that to me, my friends, is officially rock bottom. When you don't even want to look your face in the mirror.

As far as my new "friend", she's dealing with some stuff and I told her what I'm doing and she has to do it, too, or forget it. To be fair, given my history, I can't be a hypocrite. I told her do what you need to do for the next few weeks (it's only fair considering the big picture) then it stops or we stop. I haven't snorted an amphetamine in a while and have no desire to. The intense Adderall buzz is no longer pleasureable. It won't bother me or affect me to have that around. It's good that we're opposite ends of the spectrum. I mean, she like Vic's (pffft, who doesn't?) but she almost never uses opiates. So at least they're different. If we were using the same stuff, I would have hugged her and ridden off into the sunset days ago.

This is my time, my friends, I sincerely hope you can read the conviction in my words, I've never been more serious. I am disappointed I can't do this c/t but I've tried and failed too many times. Peace.

Your Comrade in Arms,
Opee

[Freedom4me]

Opee,
We will always be here for you. When you are ready in your heart and soul you will kick this thing. At least you are using less and less. I'm so happy that you found someone that makes you happy. Maybe that relationship will be just the thing to get you over the edge and want a better and clean life. Like we talked about, everyone has their deep rooted reason that they use. For some it's real pain, for some it's depression, for some it's energy, for some it's a combination. The fact that you are still here and being 100% honest speaks volumes. When you are ready just say the word. You would have to refer to Robert on this one but you MAY be a good candidate for subs. I would ask him about it. Seems to work very well with people who continue to relapse. Don't want to speak out of turn but I would certainly check on it

[Freedom4me]

Hey we posted at the same time do I just read your last. I think a tpaer is great. Do you have someone you can give the pills to? I did not have the will power to taper, in fact it was lamost like I took more just to get them out of my site if that makes any sense. You can do this. You will do this. Keep posting!!

[caughtagain]

I am glad you cancelled the trip Opee. I am glad and hopeful this will be the time. I am all in with respect to being there for you man. Day 2. Start putting the X's on the calender my friend. It starts today.. RIGHT ON!!!.... CA

[Opee]

Originally Posted by caughtagain

I am glad you cancelled the trip Opee. I am glad and hopeful this will be the time. I am all in with respect to being there for you man. Day 2. Start putting the X's on the calender my friend. It starts today.. RIGHT ON!!!.... CA

Actually, Pal, it started yesterday! I wish so bad I could c/t but it's just been a recipe for failure time after time after time. By day 3 I'm freaking out so bad I do anything it takes and...well, you know.

Cancelling the trip was a HUGE step for me. My "final bender" was supposed to be the weekend my friend passed and that was 4 months ago. What I had planned for the trip will be used to taper.

In answer to Jen's question: yes, I do have someone. Niki, doesn't take them, she's a nurse and is temporarily staying with me. I told her just take care of me this weekend and we're even. She'll dole them out as necessary, I also just blast thru them. Truth be told, I give this relationship a 90-95% chance of success. And you know what, I'll take those odds any day of the week. So, though it is day 2, not really. I can unofficially count as I taper, but that's bull******** and we all know it. Day One will really be when I don't put anything in my mouth. The Xanax and Klonopin goes, too, as I only got them a few months ago due to being in a perpetual state of withdrawl. The last 6 months in indescribable! As I type this, I think, how many times have you been here, Dumbass? Feeling like Death and posting online. Then relapsing. What has it been, like 6 times? I feel it's to the point of being ridiculous. Just over and over and over again. I don't even want to trace back thru my threads for that reason. I know YOU folks don't feel this way and I love you all for it, but from my perspective, it's time to ******** or get off the pot. Either get clean or quit wasting everyone's time. Again, my feelings, not yours.

Thanks, Guys, I couldn't do this without you. I'll keep you updated on the taper, I'm just so disappointed I can't go c/t. Just failed too many times. It bothers me I'm not strong enough to do that.

Best to All,
Opee

Opee's back, and this time for good.

[caughtagain]

Dude, Don't beat yourself up. That is great you have a nurse to control you taper. THat will help 200 percent. Just take it as it comes and you WILL make it Opee. We will be with you 100 percent of the time. I/We Care Opee. You were there for me and I don't care if it takes you a billion times. I choose to look at the fact that you are trying again, and that is how you should choose to think of things. The past is just that, the past. You are going to make it Opee. The other thing about your threads. YOU HELPED MANY!!! That is another positive in this whole thing, With your kindness, your honesty, and your ability to be a kind man. Thank you for that. Now its your turn. We are here and you are going to do this. Failing it not an option, its go time.... CA

[Robert_325]

Opee ..... I'm really proud of you dude for what that is worth! You're now on your way if you can maintain that attitude. I'll keep you in my prayers. God bless.