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New Here...Need Help....Please.
  1. #1
    Carolina77 is offline Member
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    Default New Here...Need Help....Please.

    hey u guys...been reading posts here for a while...this is my first post. i am scared to type and admit what absolute hell my life has become over the past few short years. i was diagnosed with a chronic painful bladder syndrome and fibromyalgia in 2008 which started my romance with painkillers. My life has absolutely gotten out of control and i am the only one that knows exactly how terrible my addiction has gotten. My doctor prescribed a months worth of 5/325 hydrocodone with enough refills to get me to the next appt. When this first started, i managed fine. But then i started taking it b/c i liked how i felt....i would talk more, have energy to clean my house, have energy at work....then i started needing more and more of it....and now it is so bad that i need it just to get out of bed in the morning...now i know where to get it on the street if my Rx runs out. I have tried hydrocodone, percocet, roxys....and have recently tried oxycontin, which i swore to myself i would never do...

    i have really been agonizing about stopping.....and it just so happens that my last Rx is out....and my contact is "dry." So i thought NOW is the time to stop all this madness that has absolutely consumed me. I had a little bit of tramadol that i used to taper down for the past few days. It has been 24 hours since i haven't taken anything. I have tried this before and failed.......and i am doing this on my own....my husband has no clue....i cannot bring him into this, yet. I have read about the Thomas Recipe and have stocked up on the ingredients.

    I am beyond petrified of going through this but i know i have to...i am afraid of what will happen if i dont. Thankfully i have today and the rest of the weekend to rest. I am going to really need some support from u guys if possible....i want my life back....i used to be so happy and i have no clue how i got to where i am now. I will have pain with this bladder issue and fibro, but am prepared to deal with it in other ways besides opiates. I am scared to death of that....but i know i cannot control my usage on my own because i am an addict. Oh my god.....i said it. Someone please tell me what i am in for......and what to do if my phone rings and it's my contact telling me there is something available.......please.....i am not feeling great....got the sweats and upset stomach. I really want my life back.....how am i gonna do this???

  2. #2
    Anonymous Guest

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    Carolina....
    i was on meds for legit reason also and became tolerant at high dose.
    it wasn't worth it anymore so i quit.
    the pain, believe it or not may be very manageable after dealing with "opiate pain".
    at least for me it is......
    keep posting, treat the symptoms and know that you will have the flu for 5-7 days.
    once you get out of this i suggest NA/AA for maintaining your sobriety, clean time....
    welcome!

  3. #3
    Nobody girl is offline Member
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    Welcome! Your story sounds very similar to mine. Except I had no medical issues that got me into this. I am on day 5 of detox. Which is by far the longest I've gone in years. I'm sure you've read enough to know what your in for... Muscle aches, vomiting, diarrhea , and some INTENSE cravings. I'll tell you what everyone on here told me... Be prepared to fight for your life. No one knows why my personality had change so much, just me and my dealers. It takes away everything. Everyone here knows what you are going through so just listen to them as best you can.
    I've tried to detox a zillion times and this is the first time I made it past day 2! Take hot baths and do whatever you can to pass the time ...except taking a pill!! For me I didn't even want to open my eyes for the first few days so music is what got me thru. I am only at the beginning of my journey so that's about all the advice I can give. You are not alone! Best wishes.

  4. #4
    Nobody girl is offline Member
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    Oh... And TURN OFF YOUR PHONE

  5. #5
    Carolina77 is offline Member
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    Thank y'all both so much for the words and welcome...feeling like ???? at the moment but hangin in there. I know I'm in for rough days ahead. That scares me so bad. Nobody girl...your words really made me think. Fight for your life....that's exactly what it is...wow. And the personality change...identical to me....And....congrats on how far you've gotten!!!! I hope ur doing ok. Got the jitters really bad at the moment. Wish I could fast forward thru this mess. Thank u guys again....gonna go sweat some more jeez!!!!! W/d suck.
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  6. #6
    Anonymous Guest

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    epsom salts baths...
    lots of liquids....
    potassium..and bananas....
    eat what you can.....
    post post post!
    It will be over soon.
    iloerose likes this.

  7. #7
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    epsom salts baths...
    lots of liquids....
    potassium..and bananas....
    eat what you can.....
    post post post!
    It will be over soon.
    Yo Carolina...

    I would have to disagree with shadowwally on the Bath Salts...

    I heard they can make you hallucinate...

    Other than that, she's dead on...


    You can and will get through this. I'm on day 15. The 3rd-5th days can be the hardest but it truely does get better everyday from there on out...

    You will look back and thank yourself for the rest of your life for squeeking through this very difficult week or 2 of helll...

    Stay strong Carolina, you got this...

    -Buck



    Just kiding about the bath salts comment. A little humor never killed anybody, but bath salts have
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  8. #8
    caughtagain is offline Diamond Member
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    lol...SMH SMH SMH... Epsom salts is great to BATHE in...
    NOw if you're going to snort them, of course not... SMH.. I know SHadow prettywell Wolverine, Errr Buckeye and I confident that bathing in them is ok... LOL

    I assume your joking Buckeye LOL
    Last edited by caughtagain; 01-25-2013 at 03:54 PM.
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  9. #9
    Anonymous Guest

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    Not Buckeye....
    lil pup....

    #readytoplaywiththebigdogs
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  10. #10
    Nobody girl is offline Member
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    How r u ?? Not doing too hot myself, but I just keep telling myself that I don't have weeks like this to spare... I can not do this again. Hope your hanging in there....
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  11. #11
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    hang tight both of you....
    and you do not have to do this again....!
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  12. #12
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by caughtagain View Post
    lol...SMH SMH SMH... Epsom salts is great to BATHE in...
    NOw if you're going to snort them, of course not... SMH.. I know SHadow prettywell Wolverine, Errr Buckeye and I confident that bathing in them is ok... LOL

    I assume your joking Buckeye LOL
    Ohhh! Cheap shot!

    Don't you dare call me the "W" word!

    And as far as snorting, my momma always told me nothing goes up your nose but your finger...


    -Buck

    #BroughtUpRight


    Also, let me get this straight....You and Shadow bathed in epsom? Intersting. I likey.
    Carolina77 likes this.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    Ohhh! Cheap shot!

    Don't you dare call me the "W" word!

    And as far as snorting, my momma always told me nothing goes up your nose but your finger...


    -Buck

    #BroughtUpRight


    Also, let me get this straight....You and Shadow bathed in epsom? Intersting. I likey.
    you have to follow all the stories lil pup......
    the bathing thing....
    that was Winged and Bluey......

  14. #14
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nobody girl View Post
    How r u ?? Not doing too hot myself, but I just keep telling myself that I don't have weeks like this to spare... I can not do this again. Hope your hanging in there....
    You got this girl...

    The best thing you can do is get up and move around a bit even when you don't feel like it...

    Also, watch some movies if you can. It helps the time pass and it can help keep your mind off of your issues...

    The best medicine though is --- stay positive!

    It can be hard, but it's not impossible...

    Anything I can do for you LMK..

    -Buck
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  15. #15
    Buckeye13 is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowwally View Post
    you have to follow all the stories lil pup......
    the bathing thing....
    that was Winged and Bluey......
    I guess I'm not ready to play with the big dogs...

    #BuzzKill

  16. #16
    Anonymous Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye13 View Post
    I guess I'm not ready to play with the big dogs...

    #BuzzKill
    it's very confusing i know.......don't give up...

    #herepuppypupppy

  17. #17
    Nobody girl is offline Member
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    Carolina r u still there?? Hope so. Your probably starting to feel very crumby about now. I know it can be hard to post when your in the thick of it but try if u can, it does help...

  18. #18
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Carolina: don't let all "the children" put you off LOL. They are like the kids in class. Jeeeeez. Yup, it's the scariest thing you will ever do. And it's the most important thing you will ever do you in your life and I mean EVER. Shadow gave you great advice, you have the Thomas Recipe, NOW.
    You can get through this thing. Make sure you stay hydrated: Gatorade is good for RLS and to stay hydrated (along with plenty of water). Post. Post however and whatever you are feeling and you don't need only to turn the phone off, you need to delete, delete, delete numbers. Hang Tough and you WILL do this.

    Peace,

    Iloerose
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  19. #19
    Carolina77 is offline Member
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    Lol I am laughing so hard right now at u guys jokin around lol and boy did I need that....lol...im so glad i found y'all......ugh I have seen better days though...Tomorrow morning will be 48 hours. Gonna admit the days 3-5 thing about those being the worst petrifies me. But i know they're coming. Jeez time seems to be passing super slow for some reason.....Have watched a few movies to keep my mind off everything and listened to some good music, which I hear helps. I started having restless arms and legs last night and have had the jerks all day....those and the sweats suck so bad.....not sure how I'm managing to block out the mental part at the moment....just trying to fight the physical symptoms I guess. Thx again u guys.....it really made my night reading what y'all wrote!
    Last edited by Carolina77; 01-25-2013 at 10:15 PM.

  20. #20
    Carolina77 is offline Member
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    NG....we seem to think exactly alike....I hope you are doing ok!

  21. #21
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    whew! Carolina!
    so glad lil dog..errr Buck....misbehaving on your thread didn't put you off! lol
    you hang in there!
    We have all been thru it and just follow everyones suggestions......

    #muzzlethepup
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  22. #22
    Sickofit13 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carolina77 View Post
    Lol I am laughing so hard right now at u guys jokin around lol and boy did I need that....lol...im so glad i found y'all......ugh I have seen better days though...Tomorrow morning will be 48 hours. Gonna admit the days 3-5 thing about those being the worst petrifies me. But i know they're coming. Jeez time seems to be passing super slow for some reason.....Have watched a few movies to keep my mind off everything and listened to some good music, which I hear helps. I started having restless arms and legs last night and have had the jerks all day....those and the sweats suck so bad.....not sure how I'm managing to block out the mental part at the moment....just trying to fight the physical symptoms I guess. Thx again u guys.....it really made my night reading what y'all wrote!
    Hey Carolina! You're doing great...keep it up!

    The one thing you didn't mention trying is exercise. Do anything. March in place, walk up and down stairs, pace around the house. Today is my Day 21 and when I was in days 1-5 I would walk laps around my house (cuz its cold where I live!) with my iPod. It was hard to get up and move but I felt so much better when I did. Give it a try. The time passes faster.

    Hold on...you got this in the bag!
    Carolina77 likes this.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by winged eagle View Post
    #YouAreInTroubleWally
    Welp.....if you hadn't been fiddling w/trying to turn on your ipad all day i might have behaved!
    Last edited by ddcmod; 01-26-2013 at 04:46 AM.

  24. #24
    winged eagle is offline Advanced Member
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    Caroline, just wanted to welcome you and to tell you that this forum is an incredible resource and you'll get incredible amounts of support, so post, post, post and let us know how it's going.
    Just hang in there!
    Last edited by ddcmod; 01-26-2013 at 04:46 AM.
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  25. #25
    Nobody girl is offline Member
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    Good morning Carolina how was your night? Try not to psych yourself out about how much worse it's gonna get. That'll only make u think " oh well of THIS isn't the worse it'll be I'm never gonna make it, screw all this!" and then give in and take something. At least that's what I did did every other time I tried to detox. You really have to just keep saying to yourself " one more day, just hold on for one more day" the phrase "one day at a time " is synonymous with AA/NA for a reason... Hang on

  26. #26
    Carolina77 is offline Member
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    Hey chick....rougggggghhhhh night. Still hangin in tho. How are u? Slept maybe 2 hours. I had a mini dream I was meeting up with my dealer????? I woke up and had to laugh about that lol then I tried not to think about it. It's amazing what those pills do to the brain. Question.....is there something OTC that helps u guys sleep...tried the ZzzzQuil a while back and I remember it saying it was non habit forming....maybe it's liquid Benadryl...not sure but know I need some suggestions. Jeez! Hubby says I'm acting crabby and doesn't like me sleeping in guest room but if I didn't he wouldn't get any rest for me havin the jerks!!!!! I have an Rx of gabapentin for nerve pain/fibro (non narcotic) and it seems to be helping a little. Hope u guys all had a good night. Just wanna figure out how to sleep.
    Last edited by Carolina77; 01-26-2013 at 09:41 AM.

  27. #27
    Nobody girl is offline Member
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    Welllll, I kinda have had some help with the sleep thing as I have been on Ambien for years. But even with that there were a few nights I only slept a few hours. I also had the aid of Xanax ( prescribed ) but I've used that for panic attacks for years and it's not my kinda drug so I'm not worried about getting addicted to it. I wanna be picked up not slowed down lol. Anyway, melatonin and benedryl are what I've heard of people using. The sleep thing is one of the last things to return to normal from what I understand

  28. #28
    Carolina77 is offline Member
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    Are u sure we aren't related somehow exact same thing with me and Xanax. A bottle of that would last months....bottle of lortab...ummm maybe a few days. Will get some melatonin today.

    PS...thank u all for your posts!!!

  29. #29
    Carolina77 is offline Member
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    Feeling jittery and just caught myself wondering about my dealer. Wishing to God I could turn my brain off right now. I def don't wanna ever have to go thru this again but to be honest, I'm not sure i'd trust myself to not turn it down if offered. Need some backup if anyone is out there......ugh I hate this.

  30. #30
    Anonymous Guest

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    I understand how you feel Carolina...
    but you DO NOT wanna go thru this again!!!!
    Hang tight...it does get better, remind yourself of that.

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