need help and advice to taper desprately

[iwantoutnow]

hi. i have been in pain management for the past 3 years. started off on darvocet then on vicodin now im on 10 mg perocet. have been on them for the past year year and a half. i have been abusing the meds for atleast the past 2 years. going through my script of 120 in around 2 weeks and having to buy off the streets. i usually take between 4-8 a day depending on my stress level and how many i have left. last week i fouind out i was pregnant. im 14 weeks. i cant believe i have had a baby growing inside me for 14 weeks and had no idea whatsoever. i must be a really terrible mother and woman to have no idea. i really dont think i can handle cold turkey right now id like to taper if someone can walk me through how to do it. i have 12 pills left and ive taken 2 whole ones today. can someone please find it in their heart to help me? i know i got myself into this mess but i could really use some help to get out of it.

[TriedandTired]

Glad you found this forum you can find all the help you need/want. There are a lot of great people on here that are willing to help. The main thing is what lengths are you willing to go to. I am in same position as you I have quit several times in the past. You don't really have a whole lot of pills left to taper with. In the big scheme of things you are not on that large of a dose. Jumping from 80 mg a day oxycodone habit is not going to be a huge physical wd. About 6 months ago I jumped cold turkey from about 600 mg a day of oxycodone and I was fine physically after 5 days. In all honesty I do not know the effects of cold turkey would be on a unborn child. This is something you need to speak to your doctor regarding. I can tell you your State of mind during withdrawl plays a huge role in how bad you feel. You do have a big reason to stop right now. The small dose of oxycodone you are on doesn't warrant suboxone in my opinion. That is what it is just my opinion. I can tell you from my past experience that by the time you wait to take subs, the withdrawls will be over in a day or two later. I don't want to tell you to buy more pills illegal that is up to u. But with the 12 pills you have if u can control them (I could never ever ever control them so a taper wouldnt work for me) I would go down to 2 pills a day for 3 days the. 1 pill for 4 days the. 1/2 for 4 days. You will be in slight withdrawls during that time and when u finally stop it will be easier then just ct. There is no pain free magic way trust me I have tried. If u had more pills you could make it a little more comfortable. Try going to NA meetings. I cannot stress enough how much a difference makes when you are positive and have a good state of mind. I'm telling you this from my past experience. When I went ct last October I jumped from around 500-600 mgs a day everyday. During the day I was sick as a dog I felt, then on the second night I went to an NA meeting and bam the WDs were almost gone, they came back in a few hours but it shows you the power of positive energy has on withdrawls it's the only magic I have ever saw. The same thing happened everyday i would go to a meeting and bam i would feel ok, not great but 100 times better then before i went. Im sorry you are pregnant in this situation but you can stop if that's what YOU want to do. You will need to want to quit more then you want to get high. This is one thing no one else can do for you or make you do. You are the only person who has the ability for you to succeed. We can help and give all the support but you have to go the leg work. Look up the Thomas recipe, start exercising right away don't wait until you are out of pills to stop. Im sure you will get other suggestions and that's what they are because no two people detox the same and no two detoxes are the same. I wish you luck and post often because talking defiantly helps, it gets you out of yourself and even though you are looking for help u r helping others as well.

[Robert_325]

hi. i have been in pain management for the past 3 years. started off on darvocet then on vicodin now im on 10 mg perocet. have been on them for the past year year and a half. i have been abusing the meds for atleast the past 2 years. going through my script of 120 in around 2 weeks and having to buy off the streets. i usually take between 4-8 a day depending on my stress level and how many i have left. last week i fouind out i was pregnant. im 14 weeks. i cant believe i have had a baby growing inside me for 14 weeks and had no idea whatsoever. i must be a really terrible mother and woman to have no idea. i really dont think i can handle cold turkey right now id like to taper if someone can walk me through how to do it. i have 12 pills left and ive taken 2 whole ones today. can someone please find it in their heart to help me? i know i got myself into this mess but i could really use some help to get out of it.

You should not cold turkey during the first trimester of your pregnancy. If you could taper off very slowly or else let me taper you quickly with a tiny dose of subutex (not suboxone being pregnant) I would help you either way. But you have to be careful for the baby in the early stages especially. I would taper off the pain meds as you're not taking that many. The taper will be worse on you than it will be on the baby.

Taking between 4-8 pills a day isn't going to get it. You need to start at the LOWEST possible dose you can stand and stay there a couple days. Then post back to me tomorrow and let me know how you feel. Don't cold turkey this though. That is my best advice. I would rather induct you on subutex than to see you cold turkey so early in your pregnancy.

I've worked with LOTS of girls that were pregnant, just had one deliver a healthy clean baby last week after getting clean, have probably done this with ten over the last year. I have someone on a taper who is pregnant most all the time anymore. I usually do it using subutex but your dose of opiate is so small we are safe doing it like I'm saying if you can handle it mentally. Do as I ask and you'll both be fine. I won't mess around when it comes to babies!!!! Keep me posted. God bless.

[iwantoutnow]

ok so i either miscounted or im losing my mind all together i have a total of 14 not 12 and im actually in the beginning of my second trimester. the ultrasound said i was 13 weeks and that was last week which puts me at 14 weeks and 12 weeks is the beginning of the second trimester. i know no matter what i am going to have some kind of w/d but i would like to have as little as possible so with your help i would like to taper using the other 14. i know when i start to get down to like 5 i usually try to cut down to make them last longer and can usually get through a few days by breaking the pills in half and taking a half every 4-6 hours so i guess then my lowest possible dose would be 2 a day but i know when i run out like that i still have w/d so i would like to taper down lower to get less w/d i just dont really know the way to do it. robert i have read atleast 20 posts with you helping them taper with subs so im sure with your help i could make it easier. im just really afraid for my unborn baby right now and im scared because i read online that if they test the baby's first poop they can pick up drug use all the way from the first trimester so im scared this will make me loose the baby and that would kill me. im hoping someone has some kind of experience with this type of thing and can help me. i will never be able to put into words how greatful i would be. i swear i will follow any taper plan you give me i just really need help from more experienced people on here. thanks so much in advance.

[Robert_325]

ok so i either miscounted or im losing my mind all together i have a total of 14 not 12 and im actually in the beginning of my second trimester. the ultrasound said i was 13 weeks and that was last week which puts me at 14 weeks and 12 weeks is the beginning of the second trimester. i know no matter what i am going to have some kind of w/d but i would like to have as little as possible so with your help i would like to taper using the other 14. i know when i start to get down to like 5 i usually try to cut down to make them last longer and can usually get through a few days by breaking the pills in half and taking a half every 4-6 hours so i guess then my lowest possible dose would be 2 a day but i know when i run out like that i still have w/d so i would like to taper down lower to get less w/d i just dont really know the way to do it. robert i have read atleast 20 posts with you helping them taper with subs so im sure with your help i could make it easier. im just really afraid for my unborn baby right now and im scared because i read online that if they test the baby's first poop they can pick up drug use all the way from the first trimester so im scared this will make me loose the baby and that would kill me. im hoping someone has some kind of experience with this type of thing and can help me. i will never be able to put into words how greatful i would be. i swear i will follow any taper plan you give me i just really need help from more experienced people on here. thanks so much in advance.

You just basically laid out your own taper and it was said perfectly. Start out with two a day, do that a couple days, then reduce your dose by 1/2 a pill every couple days or so. Your baby will be totally clean by the time you deliver, that is MONTHS away.

Of course I would tell the OBGYN what you are doing in case there is anything in your medical history I'm unaware of. Like I said, I don't mess around where babies are concerned. And trust me you won't be the first momma to come along with an opiate dependency that your OBGYN has ever dealt with. You're doing the right thing and cutting your dose by 1/2 a pill should not cause any problems for the baby as long as there are no other medical issues I'm unaware of. That is why I suggest you be honest with the dr. They are there to help you and support you, not to pass judgement on someone doing the right thing. No one will take your baby!! God bless.

[TriedandTired]

ok so i either miscounted or im losing my mind all together i have a total of 14 not 12 and im actually in the beginning of my second trimester. the ultrasound said i was 13 weeks and that was last week which puts me at 14 weeks and 12 weeks is the beginning of the second trimester. i know no matter what i am going to have some kind of w/d but i would like to have as little as possible so with your help i would like to taper using the other 14. i know when i start to get down to like 5 i usually try to cut down to make them last longer and can usually get through a few days by breaking the pills in half and taking a half every 4-6 hours so i guess then my lowest possible dose would be 2 a day but i know when i run out like that i still have w/d so i would like to taper down lower to get less w/d i just dont really know the way to do it. robert i have read atleast 20 posts with you helping them taper with subs so im sure with your help i could make it easier. im just really afraid for my unborn baby right now and im scared because i read online that if they test the baby's first poop they can pick up drug use all the way from the first trimester so im scared this will make me loose the baby and that would kill me. im hoping someone has some kind of experience with this type of thing and can help me. i will never be able to put into words how greatful i would be. i swear i will follow any taper plan you give me i just really need help from more experienced people on here. thanks so much in advance.

Right now don't worry about them testing your babies poop focus on getting clean. You said just now they could pick up use from the first trimester guess what it would be legal prescription u took before you found out you were pregnant. You and the baby will be fine as long as you get clean. Take Roberts suggestion and try tapering off of the opiates your currently have. You didn't find out were pregnant until 12 or 13 weeks I think you said. I wouldnt worry about them testing your babies first poop. I know it's hard try to relax and work with Robert I wish you the best... I would even ask ur pm doc what he thinks he may have a some creative plan you can have Robert help u with. Sorry I can't be of more assistance but I need to get myself clean again and stay clean this time.

It's so dam hard to stay off of these pills in Florida where 60% of the people u see have a script for 30mg roxys. They are given out like water here

[iwantoutnow]

ty i will call my ob tomorrow ive been with this dr since i started getting my monthly so he knows me pretty well. i wont even waste my time calling my pm. he is pretty much a pill mill and doesnt care it his patients abuse their scripts or anything. i cant even tell you how many times i got my script a week early honestly. he wont help me taper and probably want to put me on subs just to get extra money off me and now reading all these posts about people quitting really high doses ct i know i can do it by tapering down lower and just jumping off. i dont want to add another problem especially since subs look like theyre wayyy harder to get off of. i know i should of changed pm drs long ago but hey what addict would CHOSE to leave a clinic that will up the dose whenever asked without question and give scripts early without a hastle. i honestly felt like i was in heaven when i found him. ty so much for your advice. so does it matter how many hours are between my doses since im splitting each pill in half that gives me 4 doses so should i do it every 6 hours or does it matter? then in say 3 days i go down to 1 1/2 pills which is 3 doses and how many days do i wait to drop each time? again ty so much for your advice you have no idea how much i appreciate this.

[Anonymous]

You got it...go to the doc you trust.....and just taper and off ya go!
I've used the same doc forever, and he knows everything about me.
When I got in trouble w/fent patches was when I was sent to a different doctor.
Never again.
Good luck!

[iwantoutnow]

put a call in to my ob. have to admit i was dreading that call. i know i let him down with this one. he is an amazing dr and i pulled the wool over his eyes. before i found out i was pg and i ran out of pills i would call him complaining of period cramps and he would call me in ultram... not a drug you can get high off of but one you can use to not get w/d. i would take like 4-5 a day to hold over w/d if i didnt have any money or no one was selling. he trusted me and i let him down. waiting for a call back now. i started today off with a HALF a pill. not something ive done unless i was below 10 pills in my stash. well... guess taper is going good now its off to work i go. feeling confident i can do this. i MUST do this. i want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy not be in w/d. i know this will be my last pg. i already have 2 little boys one just turned 3 one is 4. they need a mommy who is not on drugs. and this baby needs to be able to be born without w/d. my hubby and i cant afford 4 kids so i pray this is a girl. i want to be able to have my lil shopping buddy. my boys are great dont get me wrong but i also know the drill once they get married the in laws come first. not to mention im about done with getting peed on while i change diapers. my sons were good for that when they were in diapers lol. oh well im really going to work now. its nice to have somewhere to go where people truly understand. i cant get that anywhere else.

[willow22]

Congrats on the pregnancy, taper, & making the move to fess up to your doc. I had to do that very thing a couple weeks ago, took me 3 days to work up the courage to make the appt., thought my heart was going to explode when I went in. I've been with my doc for over 20 hrs and felt exactly like you're feeling, so ashamed and I betrayed his trust. I told him I was in trouble with my meds, understood if he was angry, asked him to forgive me, and asked if he would help me. He did. (He already knew because the pharmacy called him, he just didn't let on. Guess he wanted to see if I was going to fudge things, be truthful or what.) We aren't the first & won't be the last of their patients to fall down the rabbit hole. Just tell him straight how bad you feel about breaking his trust, he's human & will know if you're being honest with him. Make excuses & it's like being dishonest with anyone, they'll know & won't like it and that's not in our favor when we need their help.

Best wishes, you can do it!

[iwantoutnow]

well, dr called back while i was working. i only talked to his nurse this morning so it was a little easier to fess up to her as i havent known her long so i didnt feel so bad telling her. idk its hard to explain stupid pregnancy hormones. i did have the time to answer thankfully my manager is really understanding and when i said it was my ob she gave me the privacy i needed to talk. my dr was really understanding. he told me that now that im in the second trimester this is the safest time to quit. he said that he doesnt have a WHOLE lot of experience with this type of thing, but at the level i am at that it should not be too terrible and he knows im a strong person and i can do this. that really gave me a confidence boost... on a bad note im thinking tapering may not be the greatest idea. i dont have as much will power as a thought i did. its only 7:25 here and i already took 3. something in my mind keeps saying to hell with the taper just take a couple to get that feeling your almost done anyway. i havent taken more than 1/2 a pill at a time, but obviously im not as strong as i thought. im going to try the taper again tomorrow and just have my dad hold them and give them on a schedule. if at that point if i still cant seem to stay on track im just going to flush them down the toilet and call it a day. how bad could it really be with the level im on right now? i have been reading this forum for days and ive seen lots of posts of people doing it c/t off a much higher dose. any thoughts and opinions on doing it c/t. my dr did say that this is the safest time to quit that the first 12 weeks it can be very dangerous and you dont want to wait til the third trimester because then it could mean the baby going through w/d and that could be dangerous. he did call in a script for pedialite for me. he said that for a pregnancy that is the safest to drink for dehydration because there is less sugar in it. he also called in a different prenatal with more vitamins in it or something like that. he said for sleep i can take up to 2 benadryl a night but no more. i knew about the benadryl from the last pregnancy. i didnt go through w/d with that, but i have insomnia and thats what he told me to take for that. only difference is i was under the impression i could take only 1 a night. i will try to take 1 and if it doesnt help ill take 2 but no more. i could of already caused harm to my baby i just dont want to do any more harm. im actually laying here watching labor and delivery and this episode is actually about babies born to moms on drugs. i dont want that to be me so one way or another i am quitting by the end of this week. weather it is c/t or tapering i AM quitting. i have to do it. god only knows what this stuff is doing to my liver but toss a little baby into the mix and it just has to be done no matter what and it has to be done sooner rather than later. so any ideas about the c/t? in your experience how bad would the w/d be and how long would it last? thats the only thing that scares me. i cant be super sick for a week i have a job i have to go to and 2 small kids to take care of. i cant depend on my husband he works 9am to 9pm 5 days a week (he works 2 jobs). my dad is not exactly healthy so he cant really help all that much. if i werent a mom or my kids were old enough to take care of themselves and i didnt have to work i wouldnt care how long im sick but i just cant do it with the life i live. i already have anxiety issues so i worry even more than usual. welp its bath time so gotta go get the kids ready and clothes and water ran so i better go. no rest for mommy until the lil monsters are asleep. although i do have to say i wouldnt trade my life for anything in this world... ok id trade the addiction i found myself in but thats it my kids really are my world they are the reason i want to wake up every morning. thanks for listening to my rambling sorry i tend to ramble a lot.

[Anonymous]

put a call in to my ob. have to admit i was dreading that call. i know i let him down with this one. he is an amazing dr and i pulled the wool over his eyes. before i found out i was pg and i ran out of pills i would call him complaining of period cramps and he would call me in ultram... not a drug you can get high off of but one you can use to not get w/d. i would take like 4-5 a day to hold over w/d if i didnt have any money or no one was selling. he trusted me and i let him down. waiting for a call back now. i started today off with a HALF a pill. not something ive done unless i was below 10 pills in my stash. well... guess taper is going good now its off to work i go. feeling confident i can do this. i MUST do this. i want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy not be in w/d. i know this will be my last pg. i already have 2 little boys one just turned 3 one is 4. they need a mommy who is not on drugs. and this baby needs to be able to be born without w/d. my hubby and i cant afford 4 kids so i pray this is a girl. i want to be able to have my lil shopping buddy. my boys are great dont get me wrong but i also know the drill once they get married the in laws come first. not to mention im about done with getting peed on while i change diapers. my sons were good for that when they were in diapers lol. oh well im really going to work now. its nice to have somewhere to go where people truly understand. i cant get that anywhere else.

I HOPE YOU HAVE GOT RID OF ANY ULTRAM (TRAMADOL) THEY ARE NASTY AND YOU CAN GET A HABIT ON THEM... LOOK AROUND AT THE ''TRAMADOL WITHDRAWL'' threads, and plenty of people gettin hooked... be careful.

[nolongerlost05]

A long time ago a woman from here posted that her husband suddenly died from abusing tramadol.. Be very careful

[iwantoutnow]

tossed out the ultram as soon as i found out i was pg i heard its extremely dangerous during pg i know makes no sense to toss them out but not the percs but it was my stupid addicted mind's rationalization.

[iwantoutnow]

well taper seems to be working today. i didnt take a pill til almost 1 today and even then it was only a half. usually by this time i would of had a whole pill. i just kept telling myself just wait 5 more minutes then 10 minutes then 20. ive got to get this right weather its ct or taper i MUST be done one way or another. i cant keep doing this to my body and my family. i have an amazing husband that has no idea about my addiction. he is so nieve or maybe that saying love is blind is true. he has no idea the risks ive taken. i swear that was a sign from god that the show i happened to just turn on to "see what its about" was about babies born to active addicts. it really put fear in my heart. especially watching the mom who litterally could care less about her baby. i mean this baby was in the nicu with major w/d and she didnt even acknowledge that she had a baby and when she was discharged she didnt come back to see the baby at all. or atleast not in the show. she didnt even see the baby when she was in the hospital. that was a major wake up call for me.

[Robert_325]

well taper seems to be working today. i didnt take a pill til almost 1 today and even then it was only a half. usually by this time i would of had a whole pill. i just kept telling myself just wait 5 more minutes then 10 minutes then 20. ive got to get this right weather its ct or taper i MUST be done one way or another. i cant keep doing this to my body and my family. i have an amazing husband that has no idea about my addiction. he is so nieve or maybe that saying love is blind is true. he has no idea the risks ive taken. i swear that was a sign from god that the show i happened to just turn on to "see what its about" was about babies born to active addicts. it really put fear in my heart. especially watching the mom who litterally could care less about her baby. i mean this baby was in the nicu with major w/d and she didnt even acknowledge that she had a baby and when she was discharged she didnt come back to see the baby at all. or atleast not in the show. she didnt even see the baby when she was in the hospital. that was a major wake up call for me.

I would taper down, even if you just do it until you get to a pill or so a day, then stop if you can't go farther. If you would taper down to about 1/2 pill for a couple days, then jump off it would be easiest on you. You have plenty of time before you deliver the baby and there will be NO positive drug test results as long as you have left till the baby is due. The mom I mentioned to you before that just delivered a week or so ago had only a month totally clean and her baby was born totally clean and healthy. I've done this over and again with moms-to-be. You'll be just fine, and the baby doesn't go through as much w/d as you experience doing this taper.

The pedialyte is great, as are the extra prenatal vitamins. Go for some walks, push yourself a little exercising depending on your current health, but exercise is the best medicine of all for detoxing as it helps your brain more than anything to start naturally producing endorphines which help immensely with your feelings of overall well being. Hope that helps. God bless.

[iwantoutnow]

ty. for the most part this pg has been fairly easy besides being tired constantly but that could be the pills too. i walk a lot. my house is about a mile away from the bus stop to work so i usually walk about 2 miles just back and forth 5 days a week. that doesnt even count the walking i do at work and home so i do exercise fairly often. not to mention i still try my best to take my kids to the park and run around with them the best i can. i stay as active as a can and my dr said thats all fine and in fact great as light exercise is healthy for mom and baby and lessens the risk of "gaining too much" during pg im not sure thats even possible lol. i eat healthy as well, or atleast i have been for the last few months and now that i look back i see i should of known i was pg sooner i mean i was craving fruits daily. i cant seem to eat enough bananas cantelope and watermelon. i usually eat around 2 or 3 bananas a day and usually a half a cantelope and a quarter a watermelon. i know it sounds like a lot but i figure its healthy so it should be good for me. i seem to crave nothing but fruit. they say a craving is ur body's way of telling you what it needs so im just gonna roll with the punches and eat what i crave as long as its not crazy. still havent taken any more pills since my last post. helps that hubby's off today so mommy gets to lay around and relax. also probably helps that im not carrying the pills around on me like i usually do so in order to take one i have to get up, walk up the steps, and get the pill from my room and honestly it just doesnt seem worth the trouble to me. should i try to see if i can get myself stable at 1 1/2 pills? i dont wanna rush this but i feel like if i already know im stable at 2 pills maybe i should try to go down a bit. ty so much for your time and advice. you truly are a blessing to so many. i cant even tell you how many posts ive read that you have been a part of and im sure saved many lives. i do have a personal question for you and you dont have to answer if you dont want to im just curious. did this site help you get off your doc or did you stumble across this site after you got clean? i know seems like a silly question but im curious. also is na a good idea for me? just not sure i can get a sitter for my kids so that i would be able to go. my mother in law watches my kids while i work but its literally just til i get off then she drops them off to me at my job to bring home myself. she refuses to watch them for even 1 minute more than she has to. if my mom was alive she would be willing to watch them in a heartbeat for me but shes not and my dad is not in good enough health to watch them or he would. do they have free day cares at those meetings or could i just use this forum as a form of na? sorry if im rambling i just have so many thoughts running through my mind and im trying to figure them out.

[Robert_325]

ty. for the most part this pg has been fairly easy besides being tired constantly but that could be the pills too. i walk a lot. my house is about a mile away from the bus stop to work so i usually walk about 2 miles just back and forth 5 days a week. that doesnt even count the walking i do at work and home so i do exercise fairly often. not to mention i still try my best to take my kids to the park and run around with them the best i can. i stay as active as a can and my dr said thats all fine and in fact great as light exercise is healthy for mom and baby and lessens the risk of "gaining too much" during pg im not sure thats even possible lol. i eat healthy as well, or atleast i have been for the last few months and now that i look back i see i should of known i was pg sooner i mean i was craving fruits daily. i cant seem to eat enough bananas cantelope and watermelon. i usually eat around 2 or 3 bananas a day and usually a half a cantelope and a quarter a watermelon. i know it sounds like a lot but i figure its healthy so it should be good for me. i seem to crave nothing but fruit. they say a craving is ur body's way of telling you what it needs so im just gonna roll with the punches and eat what i crave as long as its not crazy. still havent taken any more pills since my last post. helps that hubby's off today so mommy gets to lay around and relax. also probably helps that im not carrying the pills around on me like i usually do so in order to take one i have to get up, walk up the steps, and get the pill from my room and honestly it just doesnt seem worth the trouble to me. should i try to see if i can get myself stable at 1 1/2 pills? i dont wanna rush this but i feel like if i already know im stable at 2 pills maybe i should try to go down a bit. ty so much for your time and advice. you truly are a blessing to so many. i cant even tell you how many posts ive read that you have been a part of and im sure saved many lives. i do have a personal question for you and you dont have to answer if you dont want to im just curious. did this site help you get off your doc or did you stumble across this site after you got clean? i know seems like a silly question but im curious. also is na a good idea for me? just not sure i can get a sitter for my kids so that i would be able to go. my mother in law watches my kids while i work but its literally just til i get off then she drops them off to me at my job to bring home myself. she refuses to watch them for even 1 minute more than she has to. if my mom was alive she would be willing to watch them in a heartbeat for me but shes not and my dad is not in good enough health to watch them or he would. do they have free day cares at those meetings or could i just use this forum as a form of na? sorry if im rambling i just have so many thoughts running through my mind and im trying to figure them out.

I had been clean for some time (years) when I got here. I had a brief relapse of about a week going to the dentist where I took too many pain pills, but I stopped and blew off the dental work until I got myself psyched up to do it without pain meds, which I did finally do.

If you can go to 1 1/2 pills do it. I would seriously reduce by 1/2 pill about every 2-3 days and you'll be clean in no time with little side effects. You're on a small dose, just ride it out and you'll be just fine.

And NA helped save my life when I first got clean. I went to meetings daily for years. I find that most people need a support group whether it's NA, AA, church, Celebrate Recovery, a combination or all the above. Hope that helps. God bless.

[iwantoutnow]

ok ty ill c if i can find one with a free day care or go when the hubby's off work either way i gotta do what i gotta do to stay clean. took another half a few mins ago and ill take 1 more half before i give the kids a bath then thats it for the night and well c how it goes. no sleep is usual for me so it wouldnt be a biggie to have a hard time sleeping. but i could honestly take a million pills and still not sleep right. it has nothing to do with the percs my mind just doesnt shut down. i could lay there for hours and try and just not sleep. benadryl is somewhat helping that just wake up a lot. well time to make dinner tonight is spaghetti and meatball night... think im gonna make some garlic bread and salad to go with it. dang my italian jeans lord knows i love my carbs but hey that just makes me stubborn and bullheaded which is probably going to help me through this battle im sure. hope everyone had a good day... well atleast the best they could. tomorrow my goal is to spread my doses out to 8 hrs apart and go from there. didnt even time my doses today im thinking it would be a good idea to start timing them as it could really help. my next goal is to try to write like i used to. i used to write a poem a day, sometimes more but i never skipped a day. now is my time to get back into doing things i love. and id like to start sewing like i used to so when i get paid im picking up a few yards of fabric and some stuffing and im making my kids new pillows. spongebob for my oldest and elmo for my youngest. then maybe one with carebears on it for me. thats what my hubby calls me and one day when i have a lil more time ill tell you guys the story of how i was named carebear. but i do want to share a short poem i wrote for my hubby shortly after we got married. my poetry's come a long way since then but im still proud of my early stuff too.

"Lovers and friends"

we joke around and laugh a lot,
and talk for hours on end.
how could i be so lucky,
youre my lover and my friend.
this little poem your reading,
holds the special love we share.
it's a part of me that goes with you,
always and everywhere.

[iwantoutnow]

well im done with this taper game. managed to screw it up yesterday and by 3pm today i had already taken 2 so that is it im done playing games. im not on much it shouldnt be too hard to go ct and honestly a few times during this pg (before i knew AND was not past 12 weeks) i had to go ct because i ran out of med early and i was on a higher dose at some points in that time so i know i can do this now. i was only taking about 3-4 a day MOST DAYS the last week or so so it shouldnt be too bad. i picked up my normal at the store today. im off tomorrow so i have no plans in leaving the house so 2 days in means atleast 4 lbs of bananas 2 watermelon 2 cantelope and just for good measure i picked up a bag of oranges and a thing of strawberries (my diet has contained a lot of fruit the past month or so) also got some anti-diarrheal meds, picked up another bottle of benadryl just in case, picked up my zofran from the pharmacy just to be on the safe side so im armed and ready for this battle. i dont see me needing any potassium pills for my rls since i eat so many bananas and if need be i have plenty of reg extra strength tylenol and tylenol arthritis. aunties got the kids for the night and for the day tomorrow so i dont have to worry about getting up and down and doing a million things so if i really wanted to i could lay in bed all day. im ready for this i need to do this now i cant trust myself to taper and obviously it dont even work to have my dad hold my pills since he doesnt REALLY pay attention to the time and if i ask for a pill he just hands it to me without question. this IS my only option. obviously im not as strong willed as i thought i was so i need to do this NOW. i guess i just really need some support right now and to hear i can do this. 6:30 was my last pill so im well on my way now. wish me luck =-) ill keep u guys posted.

[Robert_325]

Right on! Rock N Roll!!!! God bless.

[iwantoutnow]

almost 6 hrs in i know its early but nothing yet. i know its early but still. i did have a charlie horse a few mins ago, but i know i get them during pg so im writing that off as that. ill check in sometime tomorrow. u guys give me major support. this whole forum does. you have no idea how many hours i sit here and read all the posts. its amazing what people have been through.

[iwantoutnow]

slept ok. actually didnt even wake up til 12... havent done that in a long time. slept right through my 12 hr mark. tummys acting up. even with all the sleep i have very little energy and feel like i could sleep all day. wish i could sleep the next week away but cant do that gotta atleast work and take care of my kids when theyre here. got a call from my sister in law something came up and shes gotta drop the kids off so wish me luck. this is gonna be interesting! hopefully they wont be bad today or theyll be spending a lot of time in time out. usually when they can tell mommy dont feel good they push their limits.

[HopefulnHouston]

You CAN do this, hang in there and take it minute by minute if you have to, and benadryl has MANY uses, lol. No, I would never do that......yeah right, my ex was in the Air Force and we took lots of road trips, didn't matter, kid, cat, dog, they all got benadryl before we left. They are both ok, grown, productive adults and better parents than I was, not sure about the dogs and cats, seems like we went through a lot, but I don't think any of them died from the benadryl.

[caughtagain]

Just wanted you to know I was rooting you on... It will be over before you know it and you will be feeling better. As I tell others, for the next few days JUST FOCUS on the symptoms and treating those. Post as much as you feel you need too. When I was going through this, I lived on here and made some great friends. Now a few have become as close, if not closer than my family. So welcome.. hang in there. All my best, Reid

[iwantoutnow]

ty im working my tail off on this. its one of the hardest things ive done in a long time. i quit smoking during both my pg and that was a million time easier. i called my mother in law and told her i was really sick shes taking the kids for me. thank god for her! we dont always get a long but i def appreciate this and on top of that my manager called me and gave me tomorrow off. she doesnt need me tomorrow. seems like things are falling into place just wish i wasnt feeling this badly. gotta go down to my new house today and move all my ???? so that the landlord can have the inspector come in to get my electric on. feel so ?????? right now so dont want to walk the mile and a half to my new house THEN move a bunch of ???? around and walk all the way back. wish i could put it off but i have got to get in my house i love my dad and brother but really they are driving me CRAZY!! i constantly have to clean up after my brother (hes a PIG to say the least) my dad is really sick and cant do much so its pretty much all on me since hubby works so many dang hours. wish i could just sit back and watch all my episodes of days of our lives that have built up the past 2 weeks but a womans work is never done. trying to relax til 4 when i gotta meet my landlord. feel like ????. I WILL NOT USE TODAY I WILL NOT USE TODAY.

[Robert_325]

ty im working my tail off on this. its one of the hardest things ive done in a long time. i quit smoking during both my pg and that was a million time easier. i called my mother in law and told her i was really sick shes taking the kids for me. thank god for her! we dont always get a long but i def appreciate this and on top of that my manager called me and gave me tomorrow off. she doesnt need me tomorrow. seems like things are falling into place just wish i wasnt feeling this badly. gotta go down to my new house today and move all my ???? so that the landlord can have the inspector come in to get my electric on. feel so ?????? right now so dont want to walk the mile and a half to my new house THEN move a bunch of ???? around and walk all the way back. wish i could put it off but i have got to get in my house i love my dad and brother but really they are driving me CRAZY!! i constantly have to clean up after my brother (hes a PIG to say the least) my dad is really sick and cant do much so its pretty much all on me since hubby works so many dang hours. wish i could just sit back and watch all my episodes of days of our lives that have built up the past 2 weeks but a womans work is never done. trying to relax til 4 when i gotta meet my landlord. feel like ????. I WILL NOT USE TODAY I WILL NOT USE TODAY.

When I first got clean I went around for months telling people that I wasn't using today, but maybe tomorrow! They finally stopped asking me. That was almost ten years ago. It's almost here and that is really hard to believe, just have a couple weeks more to go. You can do ANYTHING for a day! Hang in there. God bless.

[caughtagain]

POTUS.... You using Today?.... I Kid...10 Years... WOW WORD

[Robert_325]

POTUS.... You using Today?.... I Kid...10 Years... WOW WORD

Not today, but perhaps tomorrow! lol Hey dude, if I make it till June 2nd, it will be ten years! Who would have thought ten years ago that this old bandit would even be alive in ten years! I am very blessed, it amazes me!

[caughtagain]

Word! I think Roxie is the Bandit. Proud to call you friend, Brother.