[Natalie08]

My husband is hooked on Ultrams, and Vicodin. This is going on now for a few years and I've had enough. Whenever I confront him on this subject he'll just insist that he's taking them for his back pain. I know that there's got to be some other alternative then taking these meds for the rest of his life and being an addict. I'm scared for his life and our marriage. Anytime I try and talk to him about this, he raises his voice and threatens to leave. He says he knows he's got a problem and he's gonna try and quit on his own by weaning himself off. He says by doing it this way he should bypass the withdrawal part. I don't know how true that is. I suggested that I take him in to get detoxed, but he refuses to do that. he said either we'll do it his way or he's not gonna try and quit at all. He gave me all his pills. so now I have control over how many he gets to take per day. I just hope he really wants this. I don't want to have to leave him, but at the same time I don't want to have to watch him hurt himself anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel like a basketcase!

[hatelove percs]

if he has truly given you ALL his pills (which is highly questionable to me)then he has taken the first step towards weaning himself off the pills. this is very hard to do. if he makes it through this stage, even though he weans he will go through some withdrawl as i am having this same thing now. you should recognize the signs: low energy, restless legs, diarrhea, unable to sleep, chills, achiness,depression. he may have one or all or just very mildly. i would say if he has none he has a stash somewhere. i tapered to one pill and then off and am experiencing everything mildly except diarrhea. I suggest a doctor visit for him if he will agree to it. if not, make sure he takes vitamins and drinks lots of water. even when he is through withdrawl the hardest part is still ahead because mentally he will crave his drug so badly and it will call to him to pick it up again and be off and running worse than before. i can't tell you what number time this is for me quitting.[V]

[sydbean]

Natalie~ I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am going to be honest as I don't think this is the time to dance around the issue. To me, it does not sound as though he is wanting to stop. It sounds more like he is wanting the "nagging" to stop. I don't mean that to be offensive at all. You are well within reason asking him about his usage.

I am curious and wondering if you would be able to give us a bit more info. You say that he claims he is only using them for his back pain. Does he take them only as the label dictates? Is he taking more and running out early. You didn't really say what it is that you no longer can deal with? Does he act differently or is he "nodding" out all the time? I am just wondering what about his usage has gotten you to this level of frustration.

The reason I ask is because it really matters and makes a huge difference if he is using them as prescribed for an honest to goodness bad back or is he using them to get high rather than for pain. Two very different situations. So if you could give us some more info. What he is prescribed. What he takes. What about the taking of his pills is upsetting you?

Just know you are not alone. There are so many great people on these boards and we all support each other through all kinds of craziness!! So welcome!! You may want to cruise over to the Pain killer addiction pages. read and read and read and join in the conversations too. There is so much info for you and more people will be coming on later in the day and responding to you with advise and encouragement!!!

Hugs,
Syd

[Natalie08]

Thank you for the replies. I don't know that he really gave me all his pills. For all I know he may have a secret stash. I can tell you he's been on these pills now for at least four years. He says he doesn't even get high off of them anymore which is no surprise. He told me the only reason he takes them is for his back. He goes to the doctor once a month. Each time he goes, the doctor writes him out more prescriptions for the ultams and vicodin. I know that last week he just got them refilled and he had a bottle of 180 Ultrams, and a bottle of 48 vicodin. I fear that since he has been taking these for so long now that it's starting to take a toll on him. Last Wed. he called me around lunch time telling me I need to come and get him. He said he was at the hospital because he was getting really dizzy and almost passing out at work. In the back of my mind I'm wondering is it because of the pills??? My husband is only 30 and he's always complaining about how he doesn't feel good. To me he's got alot of problems for being so young. That's why I want him to get clean. A friend of mine whose husband works with mine also is a pill popper which doesn't help matters. Supposably he quit last summer and he's been clean since. Well anyhow I was talking to my girlfriend last Friday and she told me that her husband told her that my husband bought an Oxy80 off of some guy from work and paid $25 for it. I hit the roof!!! I confronted my husband about it and he completely denied it. I don't know what to beleive anymore. According to my husband's prescriptions he's supposed to be taking 2 Ultrams three times a day, and 1 Vicodin three times a day. He say's that he doesn't even take as much as he supposed to. He said that when he gets up in the morning he takes 4 Ultrams, 1 Vicodin, and a nexium and that's all he takes for the day. Like I said I don't know how much of this is true. But we have three kids together, and I love him very much. I told him that the ball was in his court now. Either he gets help or I'm going to have to do whats right for me and the kids, and thats leave. Today I sent him to work with 3 Ultrams, a half of a Vicodin and a Nexium. Which would be a pill and a half less then what he is used to. Do you think I'll notice a difference today??? I called him on his lunch break to see how he was doing and he said that he can tell that he didn't take his usual dosage, but he thinks he'll be ok. I just pray that he's being honest with me. Otherwise I'm not going to be able to help him. He told me last night that if I tell anyone about this that he won't quit. I often wonder too if this is all just a put on to shut me up.

[tamara02]

Natalie 25$ for an 80 mg.that is cheap around here a 40 mg goes for 25$-30$ a piece,thats crazy,I hope he is being honest w/ you,but you know no one can help him unless he realizes that he has a problem and wants to quit!!He may not want you talking to anyone abt this cause he may be afraid that someone will slip and tell on him,when you are an addict,you basically lie,cheat and steal for those dang devil pills.....I had a 100$ a day habit but I was lucky I had money,so I didnt have to go that route,when people are desperate they will do and say anything to get that fix,thank god he's not on heroin,crack or crystal meth.then girl you would have a really big problem..If you really love him ,talk w/him not accuse him ,he'll need your support!!Take care Tamm

[Natalie08]

I try not to make him feel backed into a corner. I told him that I know that his addiction isn't his fault. He went to the doctor with pain like anyone else would, the doctor puts him on this stuff and after a certain point of taken it he got hooked. To be honest I blame the doctor for this. Any doctor would know how addictive these medications can be. Your only supposed to take them as needed for pain. To me if he was a good doctor he would see how long my husband has been taken these and express his concern about him being on these for so long, and start looking into other ways of dealing with the pain. But no, instead he just keeps writing him prescriptions. But at the same time my husband admits to me he has a problem. So yeah, maybe he couldn't help but to get hooked, but he can fix this by getting help. That's the bottom line.

[tamara02]

Natalie ,He may be a good candidate for suboxone,You can read up on it at www.suboxone.com it also shows where the dr's in your area are that rx it,Take care tamm,Ps also ,stop by an a/a/ or n/a meeting with him he might just get hooked on those...

[Natalie08]

Thanks Tam! Actually I talked to him tonight about the suboxone. And he actually wanted to know about it, which really surprised me!!! So I went to that website and found a doctor where we live that can do it. I told him tommorrow I'll call the doctor and get some information and see about scheduling an appointment. I can't believe he's going along with it. I think his change of heart is coming from withdrawals. He said tonight he was feeling pretty ****py, and he know's what he's up against. So I hope that this Suboxone will be the answer!!

[tamara02]

thats great natalie,the sub may be just what he needs,and im glad he's listening to you,with out arguing,he will feel so much better physically and emotionally,the sub may make him feel weird for a day or 2 then it will pass,another thing ,he does need to be in some withdrawal for it to work right,the doc should give you all the info ,It may seem a lil expensive at first but alot cheaperthan buying drugs on the streets,the pills cost abt 4-5$ a piece,depends on where you live.my monthly visits are 150.00$ plus the meds and that's alot cheaper than the 100$ a day habit I had,it will take a lot of pressure off of him,and the worry of when he can find the next dose,etc...good luck and let us know how it goes,will keep you in my prayers Tamm

[Natalie08]

My husband came home early from work today. He's feeling really bad. He made a doctors appointment to get on the suboxen but his appointment isn't until next Wednesday. I feel really helpless right now watching the withdrawls set in. Is there anything that I can do for him to get him through this until his appointment? I just want him to be as comfortable as possible.

[tamara02]

Hi Natalie let him finish off his meds til about tuesday ,then start withdrawal or unless he thinks he can do it is go cold turkey,heck if he is not using now and dosent til wed then he will be over the worst part of the w/d,He will feel like he has a severe flu for a few days ,but then you have to worry abt him starting back ,unless he gets a good support system,counseling,N?A or a/a/ meetings,,just talk w/ him and you guys figure it out ,best of luck,and let me know how he' doing....Tamm Ps there are comfort meds that will help if he just wants to go cold turkey also plenty of water , gatorade,A good multi vitamin and lots of immodium,keep some nerve pills on hand ,they may help w/nervousness and sleep also,muscle relaxer for a few days only till he's over the worst part ,also lots of hot baths or hottub does wonders and walking,excersize all help get his natural endorphins kick in ,

[Rmlynn68]

Hi Natalie, I had to respond because your situation is similar to mine. My fiance had three back operations and he has been addicted to Vicodin's since his first operation back in 1994. I left him and sure enough he went to detox. I came back home and within weeks he went back on the pills and this time he overdosed. I left him so many times but, yet I keep coming back. I loved the man! I have been with him for seventeen years. If you noticed we never got married because of his addiction. We have been to counselling but that didn't
help. As time went on he need to take more to feel the affects. I just found out that he is buying Xanax off the street. You would kind of think he'd learn his lesson. No! Not an addict! I questioned him and he became defensive. He said, I am exaggerating! All he does is lie now. I pray one day that I leave and not look back. I real hope that detox helps your husband. You both have my blessing!

[hope777]

I'm in your boat, however, my husband is addicted to Percoset (I'm not even sure how this is spelled). Addiction will make a good man a liar, I can vouch for that. I have been married for 15 years and we have two children. If there were no ties, I am certain, I would have left him a long time ago. I consider it even still, not sure what to do. In so many ways, he is made for me, but this addiction is a parasite and is stealing him away from me. I'm very depressed and I wouldn't wish addiction on any person in the world. It is absolutely draining.

[strangechip]

Hi Hope... I'm a new member here. Just wanted to ask how your husband was doing with his pain killer problem. It's been about four months since you've posted.. Thanks.