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My Husband Is Addicted To Pain Medicine
  1. #1
    ctubiolo14 is offline New Member
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    Default My Husband Is Addicted To Pain Medicine

    I need help, any help or sound advice you can give me. My husband has been addicted in the past to pain medication, Oxyicontin, Vicadin, Percocet, etc. He has been in rehab 3 times. Finally when I thought this was all behind us he started having problems with his neck & numbness in his leg. After many doctor visits and scans it was discovered he had 3 levels of degeneration in his upper spine. Although I did not doubt what was medically going on, I had hoped there could be an alternative to the pain other than just prescribing these pain medications to him again. I called every doctor he went to and made them aware of his past problems. To no avail he found doctors who prescibed oxyicontin and percocet again. I asked him if there was not other choice but for him to take this medicine for the pain to please attend NA meetings and try to get through this surgery & recovery with the support he needed. Now we are 1 year into him being on the pain meds and 6months after the surgery and there is no end in sight. He didn't go to NA meetings, he now has pain in his lower back and knees. He is drinking heavily to intensify the effects of the medication. I found his prescription bottles and discovered that he had taken 400 total oxyicontin and percocet within 2 weeks when his presciption is suppose to last a month. He is now buying it from friends when he is out. I have informed his pain doctor concerning this, and his only statement is, do you know how many times upset partners call me and tell me things like this, you need to come to the appt. with him. This doctor doesn't understand, I am terrified of my husband if I told the doctor in front of him he abused his medicine. He is sloppy nice when he take his medicine but when he is out is abusive. I have tried to get his parents to understand he has a problem but they will not get on the same page in hopes of helping. They support him in whatever he says or does. I do know what to do anymore. Can anyone help, please.

  2. #2
    vduda is offline Member
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    Hey Ct,

    I am sorry to hear that you have to go through this hell again. Pain sucks, but you don't have to take opiate pain meds to control it. I was on every opiate prescribed med for a decade. For specifics look up my threads and replies, it may be helpful. It took me 2 times through detox to finally break away from the opiates. I was doing quite a bit more than your husband and died three times from overdoses. Even then I couldn't quit. It was not until my doctors gave me 2 weeks to live that I entered detox for the second time. It was a living hell. But now I am almost at 7 months off the opiates. It is truly a miracle. I have reclaimed my life and God gives me the strength to push forward everyday. Additionally, I am in perfect healt praise Jesus...the master physician who heals both mind and body.

    Your husband is caught in a cycle of addiction. Each time it gets harder to kick the addiction. I understand he is in pain, but the mind is stronger than the body. When I entered detox I had major neck reconstructive surgery due to a high speed auto accident hitting a wall at 85 mph. So I was going through withdrawals and the pain of this new surgery. The titanium plates were driving me crazy. If I was to go into all the injuries and surgeries I have had from pro sports and other auto accidents it would fill many pages. Just know this that I have chosen to live with the pain. To be honest, I was in more pain when I was on the meds. Now I feel great. Starting to train in martial arts again and working out. Eating right. Basically, my girlfriend and I have made a decision to change our life styles.

    It seems that he has a serious drug addiction. Unfortunately, he knows what it is all about since he has gone through rehab 3 times. Perhaps, he cannot stop and methadone may be an option to consider. It helps with the pain, it's cheap, and he won't put himself in harms way trying to find his fix on the street. Prescription opiates are so addicting and can take over your life. At least with Methadone he won't be craving the oxy's and other opiates. I think it would be a good idea to sit down with him and discuss what his plans are in regards to the pain meds. You seem like a very understanding person and with patience, perhaps you can come up with an overall plan. Whether that be that he needs something like Methadone or if he is going to kick this thing again. But like I said the more times through rehab, statistically it is harder to quit. God Bless

  3. #3
    rxqueen is offline Junior Member
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    I understand it's your husband and all, but with all due respect m'am sounds like you need to give him a good ole kick in the ass too. Some type of ultimatum might be appropriate. My boyfriend and I are both recovering addicts. There was a slip up on his end not that long ago. I looked at him and said "It's me or the spoon pal". Doesn't always work, but you never know. Your running yourself around ragged trying to make sure things are right with him, what about yourself? When was the last time you did something nice for yourself? Also, try Al-Anon or Narc-Onon meetings for yourself, they will help you understand the mind of an addict better. Good luck.

  4. #4
    ymccormack is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rxqueen View Post
    I understand it's your husband and all, but with all due respect m'am sounds like you need to give him a good ole kick in the ass too. Some type of ultimatum might be appropriate. My boyfriend and I are both recovering addicts. There was a slip up on his end not that long ago. I looked at him and said "It's me or the spoon pal". Doesn't always work, but you never know. Your running yourself around ragged trying to make sure things are right with him, what about yourself? When was the last time you did something nice for yourself? Also, try Al-Anon or Narc-Onon meetings for yourself, they will help you understand the mind of an addict better. Good luck.
    I agree with RX Queen....sometimes you have to administer tough love. I think sometimes addicts don't even realize how they are impacting everyone around them....it takes an ultimatum and possibly a little time without you taking care of them to realize what they need to do. It sounds like your husband has some valid pain issues...methadone may be the only way to relieve his pain and squash his cravings.

    Oh...and...you concerned me when you said you were terrified of your husband....if your husband is being abusive in any way to you or your children (don't know if you have kids) then you need to leave right away. You should never be terrified of your partner. If you think he is abusive only because of the drugs, then you need to leave until he's off the drugs.

    Good Luck.

    Keep us posted.

    YM
    Last edited by ymccormack; 03-21-2008 at 02:52 PM.

  5. #5
    greendog21 is offline New Member
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    Default My husband is addictied to opiates

    [QUOTE=ymccormack;198560]I agree with RX Queen....sometimes you have to administer tough love. I think sometimes addicts don't even realize how they are impacting everyone around them....it takes an ultimatum and possibly a little time without you taking care of them to realize what they need to do. It sounds like your husband has some valid pain issues...methadone may be the only way to relieve his pain and squash his cravings.

    Oh...and...you concerned me when you said you were terrified of your husband....if your husband is being abusive in any way to you or your children (don't know if you have kids) then you need to leave right away. You should never be terrified of your partner. If you think he is abusive only because of the drugs, then you need to leave until he's off the drugs.

    Good Luck.


    CT
    I know what you are going through and my heart truly goes out to you. True we have never been junkies and will never know what goes through a junkies head or why they feel that they need pills to live their life. Honestly sometimes I think the less we know then the better off we are, but you still find yourself wondering. I just recently brought it up about my husband addiction to his brother who is in the medical field and he basically brushed me off as well. So I know what feeling of anger goes through your veins due to their ignorance as well, hell they are not around and it is not their problem nor do they have to deal with it, but we do!!!! Trust me the whole the pills or me just doesnt work, you know this- but if you are afraid of your husband then maybe the time to get a break is now. They are not in their right frame of mind and not thinking clearly. I finally did what I had to do, was leave my husband until he was ready to get help!!!! He totaly flipped his lid on night and I was not going to have my children in an environment like that anymore. Ranting and flipping furniture over and yelling at the oldest child and then hit her, he was very lucky I didnt turn him into the cops and have his ass arressted and have the embarrasement of having a child abuse charge against and have to live with that the rest of his life when he gets sober. I will never forgive him for doing that to her and for doing it to us- the whole family!!!!!
    RXqueen made a point do something for yourself, I took that advise about 1 week ago and it is pretty nice, yes there are still many bad drawbacks but you take it one day at a time that is all that you can do. Each day does get a smudge better. I am living it right now so I can tell you!!!!
    I havent heard from my husband in 3 days now, but I now have my family involved and supporting me with what ever I need. My father is trying to reach out to my husband and get him the help that he needs due to my dad has the resources to help him since he is an MD- why won't he take the help??? I just don't understand!!!!!!!!
    Keep your head up because you didn't do anything wrong and I am learning this and YOU didnt have any part of his addiction nor do you have to take responsibilty for his actions!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is responsible for his own, he is the junkie not you nor was any of this your fault!!!!!
    Hold you head high your are doing everything that you can do, the rest is up to him.

  6. #6
    vduda is offline Member
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    Greendog21,

    I am very hesitant on giving any input on your posts or replies, but I feel compelled. For one thing if he hit my kid I would have his ass in jail so fast you couldn't even blink. For the most part, I am not a violent person even though I have been in the past. Recently, I have been involved in some physical confrontations that I did not instigate. In short, I was defending loved ones or defending myself. I hold 3 black belts in three different martial arts styles. When I was younger I fought PK for 12 yrs and 4 yrs of MMA. But like I said, I am a passive person now and would never lay a hand on a child or women. You did the right thing getting you and your children away from your husband.

    However, your husband seems to be very sick...maybe it goes beyond just the drugs. But like I said before, he is not in his right mind. You make the point that your glad your not a "junkie". Just to let you know people like yourself who are not addicted to drugs calling individuals a "junkie" may insult people who are addicted to meds/drugs. And knowing everything about the addiction process is very helpful for yourself and your husband. Knowledge is power. I pray all works out for you. But just to let you know that my ex-wife who was not taking drugs was physically abusive toward me. She hit me, through things at me, slammed a door on my head and other things. She was arrested for domestic violence. So you don't have to be on drugs to have serious anger problems. She exhibits all the symptoms of bipolar disorder just like her mother. She refuses to get help, but at least I can admit my problem and I am getting help for my dis-ease. And for the record I never said it was my ex-wife's fault that I began taking drugs. My point was that there are many factors involved in why a person becomes addicted to drugs. I take responsibility for my actions. God Bless

  7. #7
    ymccormack is offline Member
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    Well said GreenDog.

    YM

  8. #8
    greendog21 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ymccormack View Post
    Well said GreenDog.

    YM
    Vduda:
    Ok, first of all I am going through one of the hardest things that I will ever have to do in my life and I came back to this forum today because I was having a really bad day and just felt the urg to reply to ct. I wasn't calling anybody else on this forum junkies, I was recalling to my husband. I was just stating a fact that I haven't ever been hooked on pills so therefore I don't know what he (my husband) is going through and I don't know what goes through his head. Trust me don't think that I didn't just let him walk for his run in with my child- when I say hit it wasn't with a fist so I should have made that clear but with a finger pushed on her forehead.
    It seems that you take everything out of context!!!
    I was trying to talk back with someone who seems to have more in common of what I am going through that is all.
    I am not here to start a fight or affend anybody just trying to make it day by day of what my husband's addiction has taken us- seperated.
    I honestly don't know what else my husband is having issues with, but when he is ready to front them then I am there to do it with him, until then he is on his own!!!!

  9. #9
    vduda is offline Member
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    I don't think I took anything out of context. Pretty much was trying to give you support. And like I said I understand what you are going through even though I may have been on the other side. And I wasn't trying to put you down because you used the word "Junkie". Just trying to let you know some people may take it as an insult. It seems that you don't want my input. No problem. Hope everything works out for you. I'll keep you in my prayers. God Bless.

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