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My GF is in rehab
  1. #1
    sa22 is offline New Member
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    Default My GF is in rehab

    Well my girlfriend of 5 years has been having a tough run. Shes been arrested 3 times in the last year. 2 times for drug possesion and one was BS that got dropped. So after she was caught with OXYCONTIN, COCAINE, FOIL AND NEEDLES we decided to put her in rehab immediately. So we got her in a pretty nice place 1.5hours away.
    Our relationship has been volatile but its always led back to drug abuse. While I pretty much quit she occassionally would dissappear and go on a binge. Shes 29 while Im 33. I am self employed in a volatile business and now some of my friends are telling me should just break up. I feel like giving her this last chance. Shes a great person but has this terrible sickness. We've been talking about every other day, its been 4 days. Her program is 28 days.

    Does anybody have any thoughts on this? Its stressing me out and I dont want to turn my back on her.

  2. #2
    skins_alive is offline Member
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    Hay Sa:

    Have you tried Narcanon, Alanon, Coda, or ALCO? I here that you were able to stop using yourself but the desease is contagious from those that have it to those that love them. I don't have any advice about leaving or not - but I do know that the chance that you need to do some work on Sa to understand why you love and addict might be of some help. If you love the addict then you will be in recovery from the relationship as well.

    Look to yourself and you will look to her as well

    In Fellowship

    Brad
    Southern Buddha (( Prayers )) ~~~~

  3. #3
    mottam is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by skins_alive View Post
    Hay Sa:

    Have you tried Narcanon, Alanon, Coda, or ALCO? I here that you were able to stop using yourself but the desease is contagious from those that have it to those that love them. I don't have any advice about leaving or not - but I do know that the chance that you need to do some work on Sa to understand why you love and addict might be of some help. If you love the addict then you will be in recovery from the relationship as well.

    Look to yourself and you will look to her as well

    In Fellowship

    Brad

    Absolutely:
    While I thaught I was fooling my wife - she new what I was doing - that I was/AM an addict.
    She stuck it out with me. We are married (now - she has known for over 13 years), have 2 beautiful children, and our marriage ia almost back to the point where we are just plain having fun.

    My point is - depends on how deep the relationship is/was. For me - it was deep - and that cut both ways. The depth of that emotion, along w/ some luck (I believe in divine intervention) saw us through the rough patches.

    I have been thanking God every day that she stayed.

    One caviet: There was NO physical nor mental abuse - I was F-ing up by using opiates.
    I do not know if that helps. But, being on the receiving end of that unconditional love feels incredible and only makes me love her more.

    mottam

  4. #4
    sa22 is offline New Member
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    She went on her own accord but also so she would not have to go to jail. Her criminal defense attorney suggested she go immediately.

    Im going to stick it out with her. Shes sick, would you leave a cancer patient undergoing chemo?

    I havent made the recovery about me or her relationship. Now shes saying she doesnt feel safe there and the place is kind of ghetto.

  5. #5
    oneatatime is offline Member
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    Sounds like such a tough spot to be in. I'm afraid I won't be of much use. Not sure what to make of my partner, who still uses while I just very, very, very recently stopped taking opiates. 56 hours to be exact I think. I will say this. I got clean for me. I did it because I wanted it. I hated being dependent on opiates, and hate is being nice about it. I wanted to feel good again without them. To feel life again, the way it was meant to be felt. Do you think she feels the same? Has she hit her version of rock bottom with it? It is a disease, but it's a disease she needs to be ready to conquer for herself. While I'm sure she loves you, and you love her, really her success depends on her.

  6. #6
    doc.rose is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi sa22! Brad gave you wonderful advice. While your girlfriend is in rehab, you should also do some work to learn how to cope for when she gets out. In order for the two of your to get that fresh start, you need to be on the same page. Keep posting here, you will get amazing support from all of us here. Take care!!

  7. #7
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey sa22,

    Just wanted to chime in with another vote for Alanon or Naranon. It is the best way I know to try to heal a relationship that has been fractured by addiction. There, you will learn more about you - more about this disease - and how best to respond if relapse occurs. I can't speak highly enough about these groups.

    By the way, it sounds to me like your GF is not quite ready for recovery, in truth. She went for help in lieu of going to jail - and now, she is setting up the excuses to leave treatment. When we are truly serious about recovery, we find whatever we can that is positive and helpful from the treatment center, which means disregarding any "ghetto" issues. When we are eager to find an excuse to leave, there always is one. Just my opinion, and I do hope she stays.

    God bless,
    Ruth

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