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My doughter probably has got sexual transmitted desease
  1. #1
    Abigail71 is offline New Member
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    Default My doughter probably has got sexual transmitted desease

    I think one can find a quantity of parents who tell about the same difficulty. My 14 year old child contacted with a drug fiend. Because she did not tell concerning his dependence from the start of their sex life, she have a astronomical danger to be contaminated with some STDs. How do you feel, should it be good of my desire to manipulate my girl and her supposed lover to get syphilis testing at the local center? Might my discredit transform my daughter’s attitude to me? Or I stay so a clown to allow her dating with this boy? Actually, I cannot be still confident they got connection.
    Last edited by ddcmod; 06-15-2012 at 03:52 PM.

  2. #2
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Abby how old is the boy? If she is 14 in most states she is a minor and still under parental control. Check with your doc and just take her to the testing. There are more than the syphilis to be worried about Surfdog

  3. #3
    kathleen5hockey is offline Advanced Member
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    Abbey, my daughter was 14 when she first contacted sexually transmitted diseases. Yes, plural. You must get her to the doctor, first, birth control, second she MUSt be tested. Some diseases don't have symtoms but they are deadly. My daughter has ovarian cysts and before she was put in jail I took her to the drs. every 3 months. These diseases can take away her option to have children down the road. Act now. Your daughter will have a poor attitude towards anything you say about the boy or being sexually active. She is still under age, take advantage of this because after 15 yrs old (in CT) they are considered adults. Good luck.
    Last edited by ddcmod; 06-15-2012 at 03:52 PM.

  4. #4
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Abigail
    My daughter is FOUR. However, if I were in your position:

    A.) Get her to a Doctor right away. She needs to be tested for STD's and re-tested again in 6 months for HIV. It can lie dormant in the body for up to 6 months before the virus is detectable.

    B.) She NEEDS birth control. Make sure she takes her pill daily.

    C.) Not ALL drug fiends are disease infested. Not ALL of us have used/use needles. Your right and correct to assume a drug user is a higher risk, but just to ease your mind a LITTLE...

    D.) How old is the boy? Your daughter is a minor. If he is over 18 he has NO RIGHT touching her, and I would pursue charges against him. I live in NH. My friend went to jail for impregnating a 16.5 year old girl when he was 18. He is currently married to her, but for the time remaining until she turned 18 he was not permitted to be near her.

    E.) If it is illegal in your State, I would have him arrested and ALSO have a stern discussion with him. If Dad is around, have him do it with you, or for you. I'm not suggesting violence. I'm suggesting telling this kid it's not a good idea to be messing around with your kid and to keep his hands and his little thingy to himself.

    F.) ACT NOW - Please. You don't want her coming home pregnant. That's my worst fear for my baby girl. Not that I don't love babies. Of course I do. But I want her to finish high school and go to college before she gets pregnant. I did it and I still think even 24 was a little young to have my first, but I was better off for waiting.

    Good luck.

  5. #5
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    You can't force the boyfriend to be tested by the way, and I wouldn't worry about your daughter's reaction to you. Remember, we can't be their friends. If our kids liked us all the time, we probably would not be good parents. 14 is tough. I was a wild animal and God Bless my poor Mother. Regardless of how mad she gets, this is serious.

  6. #6
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rxqueen83 View Post
    You can't force the boyfriend to be tested by the way, and I wouldn't worry about your daughter's reaction to you. Remember, we can't be their friends. If our kids liked us all the time, we probably would not be good parents. 14 is tough. I was a wild animal and God Bless my poor Mother. Regardless of how mad she gets, this is serious.
    Thank you, Rxqueen - both your posts were very helpful. You said much of what I wanted to say! This last part is what came immediately to mind to me when I read this original post.

    Abigail,

    Please do not assume that because the boyfriend is a drug "fiend," he must automatically have a sexually transmitted disease. But since your daughter is just 14, you have to step up and use the "Because I am the mother" card. No manipulation is needed. Step up NOW - put her in the car and take her to the doctor. Order the tests for ALL sexually transmitted diseases. Have her put on birth control. Do not expect that she'll do the mature thing on her own. At 14, she will not.

    She NEEDS a mother to be a mother first; she does not need a mother who is a 'pal' who looks the other way.

    If he is over 18, be direct with him. Tell him any sexual contact with your daughter is illegal - and you will report him. I did the same with one of my daughter's "boyfriends." The police investigated and the boy pled guilty; he has to report as a "sexual offender" now. I am not afraid to confront my children - nor their friends - as sometimes, I am the only voice of maturity or reason they hear. I can not trust the other person's parents to do the right thing.

    My daughter may have been upset with me short-term, but today, years later, she considers me her "hero." You daughter wants her mother to be a mother, not a buddy.

    Terms like "drug fiend" and "astronomical danger to be contaminated with some STDs" are going to shut her down from hearing you. Speak to her without the colorful language and judgement. Talk to her from the heart, but with firm reasoning and parental wisdom. Let her see your concern for her, more than your harsh judgment.

    I hope you'll return to let us know what happens.

    God bless,
    Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  7. #7
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Yes, I agree with Artist. I always agree with Artist So far anyway! Abigail, hopefully we get an update. I'm going home to lock my daughter in the closet! LOL. I'm not trying to make light of this, I do hope you get her to a Doctor and everything turns out okay. Your going to have to be the bad guy, but in the end it's for a good reason. And she will thank you someday.

    Not only get her on the pill, but it sounds like it's time for the old "birds and bees" talk. The pill doesn't protect against HIV or STD's. We know that, but kids don't.

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