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My boyfriend is dead......... ;( ;( ;(
  1. #1
    Metal_Rulez is offline Junior Member
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    Default My boyfriend is dead......... ;( ;( ;(

    Oh my God..I can`t believe it.My boyfriend just died 5 days ago.I can`t do anything.I just wanna die too.The ********************ing drugs are the ones to blame.After this I just hate them.I won`t take any more >>>>>> or anything else.Just my world is crashing down.I can`t stand everything i can`t i can`t.damn i love him so much.... ;( ;( ;( ;( ;(

  2. #2
    tammym02 is offline New Member
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    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Its hard to believe but the days will get easier as time goes by. Did he O/D? If you are doing drugs too this may very well help you quit even though you probably feel like doing more than ever to cope. Once again I am sorry for you.

  3. #3
    vduda is offline Member
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    So sorry...may God keep you and protect. Just know that God loves you and is always there for you. You can find rest for your soul. Pray to Him and ask for Him to help you through this time of loss and pain. There is not much to say in these situations. I know your grieving and my heart goes out to you. God Bless

    VJ

  4. #4
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    I am also so sorry for your loss. God has a way of comforting us and giving us hope at a time like this. I hope you will turn to Him for help at this time and not to the drugs. It would be so easy to get high and make matters worse. Remember there is nothing that getting high will make any better.

    A very dear friend of mine lost two boyfriends in less than two years to drug overdoses. She and the second boyfriend were planning to marry. It took her another year at least the second time to just function again. Her life turned around for the better when she asked God to help her. Just think about that. He is there if you ask. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain. Take care and God bless.

  5. #5
    justme37 is offline New Member
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    Smile So sorry

    compared to what you're going through, my withdrawal is nothing! Are you going to get help for the Herion addiction?

  6. #6
    Metal_Rulez is offline Junior Member
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    There`s no God.And if there is I hate Him,I hate Him so much.I don`t think I could live anymore.The first time i`ve tried to kill myself,John was there for me,but not any more ;( I just wanna go to him...

  7. #7
    Chris J. is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metal_Rulez View Post
    There`s no God.And if there is I hate Him,I hate Him so much.I don`t think I could live anymore.The first time i`ve tried to kill myself,John was there for me,but not any more ;( I just wanna go to him...
    I am no expert by any means but what your saying gives me serious concern for you, I think you are on very shaky dangerous ground right now, I think you should go immediatly to a hospital or your doctor and tell them what you have told us, we can only sypathise and give advice, they can get you with the proper people who can help you with this nightmare you have found yourself in. This forum has been an incredible boost to my getting clean but I think what your dealing with is much more serious than what a forum can help with, we will be here to help you all the way through this but you need immediate profesional help and you need it right now, not later, not tomorrow, NOW! Pick up the phone and call either your doctors office or have a family member or friend take you to emergency. Keep us posted as whats happening if you can, if not we will be all waiting here for you when you can, it can be made better but you have to take the first step and ask for help and get medical attention. I will be watching closely to hear back from you, your not alone at all, please do the right thing and make those calls..Chris

  8. #8
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Metal,

    Chris couldn't be anymore correct. PLEASE make the effort to get in touch with a friend, a family member or call 911 if you have to. And do it now!!! You are talking some scary stuff. I hope you will reach out to someone who is close to you for help. We don't think about what is in our best interest when we face such a terrible tragedy. You are dealing with so much right now and you seem to be doing it alone. This forum is for discussing medications and sharing support for each other with our drug issues. We all try our hardest to help as we are able. But we are not professionals, we are just fellow addicts. We don't always say the right thing, even though we try to. I so hope you will make that call or get yourself to an emergency room right now and talk with someone who can help you and is right there close to you. Good luck. We will be thinking about you.

  9. #9
    Metal_Rulez is offline Junior Member
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    thanks,but I think I know what to do.I love you all guys and I`ll miss you.HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGSSS

  10. #10
    shwnjr is offline Member
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    Default we care about you

    dont make any drastic decisions i know it hurts right now but it will get better we can show you love and help you through this keep us posted please

  11. #11
    vduda is offline Member
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    Metal,

    Life is full of loss and pain. If you want to end this life it is up to you, but I am sure your boyfriend would want you to go on. He does not need your blood on his hands. If you have faith...that of a mustard seed you can move mountains. Remember him and keep those memories in your heart. Again death is part of life. It is a tragedy what happened, but as the days go on doors will be opened to you and he will be with you in smells, places, songs, and in your heart. The greatest thing you can do for him, because he is still here is to live your life with a purpose. Love God and He will love you. He is gentle and humble and His burden is light. And if you decide to go through with this deed may God have mercy on your soul and may you find peace. God Bless and keep you.

    VJ

  12. #12
    D4Ta is offline Member
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    Default Hang in there

    Hi, I have been reading the posts here, and >> like to say how sorry I am for your loss. My g/f passed away 17 months1 week, and 3 days ago. (cancer)
    And I felt like the planet exploded. And it perhaps is probably the worst thing that I have ever had to deal with, and I am just going thru quitting a 3 yr Oxycontin addiction, of which I am 32 days clean. - everyone handles thier feelings and emotions differently, but I wont tell you that this will be easy for you, as with losing ANY one we are close to, it is a REAL heartache, I will tell you, that with a bit of help, you CAN reduce the pain. - have you tried perhaps grief counselling? (someone that isnt in your circle of life to talk to) sometimes helps. By reading what you have been saying, sounds like you need to contact someone very soon. I understand what you are going thru, and the loved ones we lose, im sure wouldnt want us to give up on life, but to
    strive to be the best that we can be, and cherrish the times and memories that we have of them, and never forget them. - And remember, that no matter what. - they love us. Plse find someone to talk to, and keep talking here, if you want, plse email me, and perhaps we can help and see each other thru the bad days, - I wish you all the peice in the whole world, and I am praying for you, and I and others are here to help you if you ask.

    you WILL come out okay. - just dont stop caring about yourself ok>

  13. #13
    Metal_Rulez is offline Junior Member
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    Hey,I weren`here, sorry for not posting.I was at hospital for a week.Thanks for everything,we`ll see what will happens in future.I don`t know what to do right now.I`m verry confused....
    Last edited by Metal_Rulez; 05-11-2008 at 04:04 PM.

  14. #14
    vduda is offline Member
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    Metal,

    So happy to hear that your still with us. My girlfriend and I have been praying for you. I know your angry with God right now, but He loves you. We don't know you personally, but we do feel your loss. I have lost loved ones due to drug use. In fact, I should of been one of those statistics. But God saved me. God Bless

    VJ and Mee

  15. #15
    Metal_Rulez is offline Junior Member
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    Hey everyone!You probably forgot about me,but I decided to write you.I`m so sorry that I wasn`t here and I do not tell you that I was going to clinic,but.. I`m back now and I`m clean.I still miss my boyfriend and I don`t know how will I go on with my life from here.Just let you know that I`m fine,clean and alive.That`s it and thank you for before!

  16. #16
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metal_Rulez View Post
    Hey everyone!You probably forgot about me,but I decided to write you.I`m so sorry that I wasn`t here and I do not tell you that I was going to clinic,but.. I`m back now and I`m clean.I still miss my boyfriend and I don`t know how will I go on with my life from here.Just let you know that I`m fine,clean and alive.That`s it and thank you for before!



    Thanks for posting. I've wondered about you many times. I'm so glad to hear you're doing as well as possible. You sound better than I've ever heard you sound since your tragedy. Take care and God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

  17. #17
    ddosher is offline Member
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    Default Fine example of hope!

    Quote Originally Posted by Metal_Rulez View Post
    Hey everyone!You probably forgot about me,but I decided to write you.I`m so sorry that I wasn`t here and I do not tell you that I was going to clinic,but.. I`m back now and I`m clean.I still miss my boyfriend and I don`t know how will I go on with my life from here.Just let you know that I`m fine,clean and alive.That`s it and thank you for before!
    I can't pretend to know your pain of losing your boyfriend. I can only imagine. But you were brought here today for a reason. You are a ray of hope. You speak volumes of the resiliancy of mankind. No matter the pain, you are a survivor and an inspiration to those in depair. I can absolutely feel your pain and wonder what I would have done in your situation. I can't say. What I can say though, is physically harming yourself would have been the easiest thing to do. Going to the clinic and getting clean is a brave act of self-love and I am so happy you decided to go that route. That is a true show of love to your boyfriend and I bet he is beaming with pride. Keep up the good work...do not give up! Stay sober, surround yourself with sober people who've got what you want and have had it for awhile. Stick with the winners. You are one in my eyes. Happy Easter.

    Donna

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