[Claired]

Recently, I found out the man I have been dating for 7 months (he is 60 years old) is addicted to percocets and alcohol because of a long standing back ailment. He takes his meds with the alcohol! I was in Alanon for 11 years because of my son's addiction, many years ago, (my son is a recovering person to this day) so I know the concept of detaching with love, which I have done with this man. I told him I love him and if he chooses to go for treatment I would be supportive but our relationship cannot include addiction.
My big question is do I tell his children[?] They are all married and have families of their own....do I shut up and take the chance he will go to sleep one night and never wake up? I would feel terrible if I heard that his happened and maybe I could have prevented it by having his children aware? Thanks for your feedback.

CD

[Jonesing]

That's definently a tough situation. Maybe you can convince him to seek treatment and support him through it. He'll probably do the same thing I did and tell the people closest to him, to get their support and prayers, if he will seek treatment. Good luck on whatever you decide. You may know this already from past experience, but it's a very hard thing to stop doing if you've been taking pills for a long period of time, especially if there is real pain involved. Again, good luck.

Formerly Jonesing- 7 days clean

[betsy_still_tokes]

Don't tell his family. It's not your place. I understand your worry and concern, but it won't help anything if they know, because he's not a child and they can't make him go to rehab or stop, and he might lose a lot of trust for you.

Jesus Christ will help you through. -Betsy

[Claired]

quote:Originally posted by betsy_still_tokes

Don't tell his family. It's not your place. I understand your worry and concern, but it won't help anything if they know, because he's not a child and they can't make him go to rehab or stop, and he might lose a lot of trust for you.

Jesus Christ will help you through. -Betsy

Thank you Betsy...I value your answer. The [b][b]"Let Go and Let God" approach..I learned that in Alanon a long time ago. And so it will be. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, God Bless.

CD

[Cats Meow]

It will be real hard for him to stop taking the percocet he's probably dependant on that, but it sounds like an ultimatum is in order, you either choose quit drinking alcohol or seeing me, but try woking on one thing at a time.
The sad thing is many people will choose drugs over love, lets hope he thinks you're worth it, and it's great he'll have your support. If he won't, then walk away, why waste anymore time and love, you deserve better. Most likely he won't die from this combo if he hasn't already, but you can expect greater dis-functioning over time. Talking to family should be the last resort, only to be used if you can't get through to him any other way, and you really believe they would help and see the seriousness of the matter, but you'd be risking the relationship.
Alcohol and opiates are a bad mix, there's something strange going on that he enjoys the feeling, especially considering his maturity, maybe there's more substance abuse hx in his past? If so, I'm afraid you're fighting a losing battle. Good luck Claired.

^..^ ~~ ,
=´`= ___ )~~

[mpvt]

He'll eventually blow his liver out with the booze and all the tylenol that's in percocets.Also, you don't have any right to tell his family even though all of us would want to it still isn't your place.They likely have a good idea anyway.good luck to you....Dave

[Claired]

quote:Originally posted by mpvt

He'll eventually blow his liver out with the booze and all the tylenol that's in percocets.Also, you don't have any right to tell his family even though all of us would want to it still isn't your place.They likely have a good idea anyway.good luck to you....Dave

Thanks Dave, I agree with you about his liver, lately he has been having very bad bouts with nausea, this really worries me too...could be the liver? or his stomach just can't tolerate the abuse anymore.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Claire

CD

[betsy_still_tokes]

Yeah, if he's vomiting a lot that's a pretty sure sign. The same thing happened to me when I OD'd on tylenol that happens to people who have been drinking too much - I vomited yellow slime. I think it's stomach bile. But it indicates liver trauma. And I hope your thanksgiving was terrific as well.

Jesus Christ will help you through. -Betsy

[Claired]

quote:Originally posted by betsy_still_tokes

Yeah, if he's vomiting a lot that's a pretty sure sign. The same thing happened to me when I OD'd on tylenol that happens to people who have been drinking too much - I vomited yellow slime. I think it's stomach bile. But it indicates liver trauma. And I hope your thanksgiving was terrific as well.

Jesus Christ will help you through. -Betsy

Thanks Betsy, he hasn't vomited yet (so he told me) just feels constant nausea. I havn't heard from him since last Sunday and I am leaving it that way. I will support him if he seeks treatment, otherwise I cannot be in a relationship with him. Somehow now I realize that if one doesn't love themselves enough to stop putting this stuff in their bodies, how can I expect him to love me?
You have to love yourself before you can love others.
Claire

CD