[mvega]

First let me begin by saying I work at an out patient detox center. This is were i met my current boyfriend. We helped him get off of opiates and we stated dating around the time he completed our program. He is an amazing person and we have so much in common. When we were first going out he was in and out of jobs and procrastinating about starting school. Now he has an amazing job with great benifits and he is going to school to be a paramedic/firefighter. He treats me good and I love him but he keeps relaspsing. The first time it happend i was here for him and I helped him thru it and he went back on Suboxone. But even while he was on the Suboxone he would still take opiates. The only way I could tell is because of where I work and I see it everyday. Any time I thought he look high I would ask him to take a drug test. The second time it happend I got angry and told him if it happend again I don't know if I could stay with him. And now here we are again!! I don't know if I should stay with him or leave him. I love who he is when he is not taking drugs but I don't want to be with if he is on them. But I don't know if being here for him is enabling him or helping him. I know that I do not want to marry someone who is addicted opiates what can I do to help prevent him from relapsing. He tells me that he want to get off and stop taking them and then he using any excuess he can just to take them. I feel like everything he says to me is just a lie.

[Maxpower]

Addicts lie. Addicts relapse. Addiction is a disease, and may be lifelong. My advice to the boyfriend is to 'fight the good fight' and keep getting help. As for you, you need to weigh whether living with an addict outweighs your love for him. Keep in mind some addicts fully recover, some teeter back and forth and some never recover.

[ymccormack]

Originally Posted by Maxpower

Addicts lie. Addicts relapse. Addiction is a disease, and may be lifelong. My advice to the boyfriend is to 'fight the good fight' and keep getting help. As for you, you need to weigh whether living with an addict outweighs your love for him. Keep in mind some addicts fully recover, some teeter back and forth and some never recover.

Well said....totally agree.

[Oxyanswers]

I know its a lil late for a reply & i'm not very sure if you will read this or not, but i Just wanted to tell you that I am in the boat you were/are in & that I will keep you in my prayers. At the end of the day it is the addict who calls the shots for their lives no matter how much we or anyone loves them. As hard as it may seem..always try to put yourself & your future first...You may not be able to change your addict, but your reactions to situations may.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Oxyanswers

I know its a lil late for a reply & i'm not very sure if you will read this or not, but i Just wanted to tell you that I am in the boat you were/are in & that I will keep you in my prayers. At the end of the day it is the addict who calls the shots for their lives no matter how much we or anyone loves them. As hard as it may seem..always try to put yourself & your future first...You may not be able to change your addict, but your reactions to situations may.

That is very good advice. You can actually influence an addicts actions by your reactions. Threats and broken promises mean nothing. It's how you react and stick to your guns that matters. You have got to have pride in yourself and not allow someone especially someone who is supposed to love you to abuse you. God bless.