[2packrats]

Hi,

My 22 year old is in a Methadone Treatment Program. He is a former heroin and opiate user. He has not used in 15 months.

We drive 100 miles daily round trip to get his 75 mg. of methadone. He still smokes week, so he gets NO take home doses.

He missed his dose on Sunday because I stopped driving him on Sundays a month ago. I drive him the other 6 days (I need a break).

Anyway, he went today (Monday) and got his dose. He threw it up before we got home. He is really sick now. Sleeping a lot and grouchy.

What can I do as his Mother to ease the pain? I wish he would just stop the methadone all together.

Should he be sick a few days and never return for more methadone? Should we rush him down there tomorrow for a dose?

HELP~!!

Thanks,
2packrats

[htoth19]

NONONO!!! He will not just be sick a few days if you stop taking him to get the methadone, especially at that high of a dose. No one should EVER just STOP taking methadone! It is the worst medication to withdrawal from, and he will withdrawal for a long time....a month or more...and he will be very very sick. Is there anything else that could have made him sick? Could he have relapsed on a different drug, and when he took the methadone, the interaction made him sick?? Just a thought, but please don't make him stop abruptly, it will hurt him way more than help him. If he wants to be off the methadone, he needs to taper down slowly, possibly make the switch to suboxone or subutex after he is down to 20-30mgs of methadone. I have been through terrible methadone withdrawal before. I stopped taking it when I was down to 20mgs, and for 43 days I wanted to just blow my head off the pain was so bad.

~Heather

P.S....I know you said you don't take him to get the methadone on sundays, but the half life of the drug is so long that on that high of a dose, going 1 days without it really wouldn't (at least shouldn't) make him sick. I skipped days all the time without feeling anything. It normally takes a few days to start to withdrawal.

[2packrats]

To tell you the truth I am sick of paying the $10 per day for the methadone and then having to buy the gas and drive the 100 miles per day. This is costing me nearly $600 per month~!!

It is an endless battle..................

[htoth19]

Maybe weening him down until he's off could be the answer? Do you know of any sub doctors in your area that can get him the subs once he's weened down? That's all I can really think to do. I mean if he went cold turkey, it wouldn't be fatal but it can cause health problems from what I've heard, jumping off at that high of a dose....It is a lot of pain, a LOT. I know that's gotta be rough spending all that time and money driving around every single day.

[newyorkgal]

As Heather said, it would be way more than a few days of being sick. It's almost impossible to stop suddenly at 75 mgs. Methadone does have a long half life but if he didnt have Sundays and then threw up Monday's before it metabolized in his system he might be feeling kinda yucky but he can make it. You need to give him an ultimatum about the weed if thats whats keeping him from getting take homes. Tell him you won't drive him every day and that he has to do whatever is necessary to get take homes. Then you have to encourage him to start tapering down to a lower dose. As Heather said, once he gets down to 30 or less, there is a drug called subutex which will get him off meth relatively easily. Or he can taper off the meth, VERY SLOWLY... Either way, he can't stop at 75 without major problems but there is no reason you should be driving him 6 days a week because he wants to smoke weed.

[2packrats]

Well, he didn't get his dose on Sunday (my choice). He threw up his dose on Monday on our way back home. So I drove him down there again today to get the 75 mgs.

We talked all the way there. He was fine. He agreed to come back home and go to work.

Guess what........He did NOT go to work. We have a family owned business that he works in----when he wants.

SOooooo, I am NOT going to carry him tomorrow. I exploded this afternoon and told him that since he was not going to work, he was on his own. I was not driving him down using my gas, vehicle and my $10 for the medication~!!

I also said something I regret. I told him that I hoped he had TWO children one day that put him through the hell he has/is putting me through. I am 48 going on 100~!!

We have 3 other sons who are older than him. He is 22. They have talked to him. Beat him. Worked with him. You name it. They have tried everything to help him break the cycle.

My son is CLEAN. He just "needs" the methadone (according to him) and his weed.

What started the Methadone Treatment was a DWI he got when he was 19. He was NOT drinking either. According to the blood test, he was on everything from opiates, weed to cocaine at the time he was arrested. That's the reason I am his driver..............

THANKS for all your comments. I know I sound really angry. Maybe I am. I would really die for him if I thought it would "free" him of methadone and the need for some "high".

DOES METHADONE get you high? I mean like his is talking at the treatment center? You understand what I mean?

Thanks again,
2packrats

[2packrats]

That's just it. He doesn't want to be weened down. He was taking up to 130 mgs. daily. He tested positive so many times for weed AND Xanax. I think that is spelled correctly.

I finally told the clinic that I would have their doors closed if they did not do something to stop him by enforcing their rules on him.

They told him that if he tested positive for Xanax one more time, he would be forced into a treatment program under lock and key by court order.

That was 6 months ago. He has tested positive for just weed ever since. His urine is checked almost weekly. He never knows when either.

After a while he was down to 65 mgs. daily. He chose to have his dose raise 3 weeks ago to 75 mgs.................

[htoth19]

Well, First I would say that if he doesn't WANT to ween down, there's really not anything you can do to make him get clean. I mean if he doesn't have any other way to go get the methadone, then he's screwed anyway, and no that's not your fault. I don't think you should be obligated to drive him every single day like that. Especially THAT far. Doesn't he have a friend or something that he could maybe pay to make it easier on you? I guess now he will have to figure that out on his own...
Yeah methadone can give a person a high. If you take a certain amount for so long and then get used to it, tolerance goes up, raise the dose and they would get a buzz from it again. But it isn't the kind of buzz a person would get from weed, it's more like coke in a way. I say that from what I have heard, I've never done coke, I have done methadone, and still do. I am only at 7mgs right now, I have been weening down, but I do remember getting the high from it. It made me feel more energetic and alert, very talkative....I THOUGHT I was a happier better person.
Over time, the methadone started working the opposite, I was tired and cranky all the time. Now that I am at such a low dose I am starting to feel like ME again. It's great.
Yes you are his mother, but he's 22. It's gotta be his responsibility to do what's right for him, on his own. In my opinion, take it or leave it, you shouldn't be obligated. It's your choice. It's gonna put him through some pain to not have the methadone, quite a bit of pain. But its not your fault he ended up that way.
I'm sorry your angry, I hope things get better for you guys. I hope he gets better.
~Heather

[2packrats]

Heather and everyone else,

Thank you so much for your help. I really don't know much about all this. My son keeps me out of the clinic. I am just "allowed" to drive him there and not talk with anyone there to find out info.

You people have helped me so much. We have no insurance. He has no insurance, I should say. He is not married nor has any children so in North Carolina that means you are on your own if your employer does not offer insurance. I've already told you all he hardly ever works...........

I am at my wits end. I wish there was a magic wand to wave to make everything alright again. I should have been paying more attention when he was about 16. That's when he says it started.

He is a former high school honor student now former heroin addict......Something is wrong with this picture~!!

[MaisieC]

Hi 2packrats,

I'm sorry you're going through all this. Have you even been to any Al-Anon meetings, or meetings for the families of addicts? I think they would be very helpful to you. You learn how to deal with some of the addict behavior. It sounds to me like your son is really playing you, which is pretty typical of addicts. He lives in your house, I assume you pay for his food, he works only when he wants to, he won't get clean because he doesn't want to, he smokes weed because he wants to, they raise his dose because he wants them to...he's pretty much got it all his way, doesn't he?

I know you're terrified that he will start using heroin again, and I totally understand that. But he's not going to get clean that way. He's just going to keep using, because why should he stop? I know he's not shooting up heroin anymore, but he is NOT clean. He's on methadone, and he's smoking weed, which is by the way illegal. He's using. He's way too young for anyone to have decided he needs to be on methadone for life. He needs to be working on getting clean.

Can you see if there are any Al-Anon meetings around your area?

God bless you, and take care,
Maisie

[cheekysod]

hiya pakrat,
i am a former methadone and opiate addict, using suboxone at the moment, tapering down, after using meth for years and years, a lot more than your son.
you DO get a stone from methadone, mind you being on dailies, he wont be able to muck around and have extra.
i bet if you stopped driving him there he would find a way. thats what addicts do. he is definately playing you as well.
methadone is one of THE HARDEST drugs to get off. and as the others have already said, you cant just jump off at that high a dose. its an average dose, not toooo high, but high enough he would get pretty sick stopping.
yeh, maybe do some sort of deal, no work, no drive next day, then its in his hands, but follow thru, and dont let him suck you in to thinking hes sick as on sundays, like heather said, one day is ok.
you can actually get through 2 days really, its a bit uncomfortable but nothing to go crying about, its mostly a head thing at that stage.
but until he wants to get clean he aint gonna do it, and while you are helping him score his favourite drug every day, he certainly aint.
technically he isnt clean, despite what he says, is he nodding off in the evenings, or lazing around all day. thats what it does. did he put weight on.
its an insidious drug, that some of us need, and then as it helps us, we also get the worst habit we have ever had.
just some straight up info from a former junkie
oh and maisie hit it right on the nail, check out al anon and those sort of things, FOR YOU, so you will learn how not to enable him, and make him more responsible for his own habit. and its downfalls included.
stay strong, there are a few threads on here, and people here who have offspring with habits, so have a read around. good luck and don't let him bullsh!t you any longer. he needs to sort himself out. not you.
sounds harsh ay, but thats what its gonna take. and he has to want it.
loads of luck, and you can be totally excused for being angry. thats normal.
hope it works out for you.
cheeky

[cali1234]

2packrats...

im so sorry for your situation... although i am only 26, i can relate to how you are feeling-not because i was in your shoes, but because i was in your SON'S shoes. and not that long ago...

the pain and physical anguish that i caused my parents when i was an oxycontin addict is unbearable for me to think about. drug addiction is such a selfish disease, we will do ANYTHING and hurt anyone.

one thing that drove me to stay on drugs was the SCARY thought of withdrawals and being sick. From what it sounds like, your son is very afraid of feeling any type of withdrawal, and i dont blame him. Just remember that although he is off the heroin (which is wonderful), he is still addicted. Whether it be to methadone or xanax or whatever...he does NOT want to feel pain or withdrawals. Withdrawals and the anxiety that comes with them are the most TERRIFYING thing to an addict...

Give your son time, push him in any way you can, but in the end he truly has to WANT to be clean and free of addiction in order to taper down and maybe some day be clean.
22 is a hard age because you tend to not think of long term consequences of your actions and who you are hurting...

You sound like a really good mom, and i can see how much your son means to you. You sound just like my parents did last year. Im sorry for your pain, and for his. Because I know he is in pain too..

Sorry if this wasnt helpful, but i just wanted to reach out to you in some way. Let me know if you have any questions that maybe i can help shed some light on from my past experiences.

[newyorkgal]

A few questions, packrats... Did the Court make him get on methadone maintenance because of the DWI? Or was it his own decision. Because he's pretty young to be going down that road. It's a lifesafer for hard core addicts who have tried other avenues, but how hard core can he be at 22 I wonder? Also, dont feel guilty about being angry. It's more than justified. And do not feel guilty about that statement about wishing him 2 who will be just like him. I think many many parents have used the same line. I know my mom used it on me quite a few times when I was a teen and I certainly used it on my 2 when they were younger.
What troubles me most is that it looks like he's playing you. He can get take homes if he stops smoking weed, but he won't because he knows you'll drive him. He doesnt' go in to work and he knows you'll still drive him. I think its time to give him some ultimatums about weed and work and driving him.... You can't make him stop if he doesnt want to but you don't have to drive him 6 days a week either. I'm really sorry for your troubles.