Looking for Taper Buddy, Any Takers?

[SherryMN]

I live in Maryland. When my daughter had Riley she stopped working 2 weeks before her due date. She was able to start her maternity benefits early with a doctor's note and her sick leave covered it. She didn't have to start using her actual short term disability benefits (8 weeks) until the baby was born. Do you have any sick leave/short term disability through your insurance at work? Theresa only had the pregnancy and a 7 year old to deal with and she had the baby in January.

You my love are not being bratty! You are about to have a child in the summer, which while it is easier in terms of dealing with the baby after he/she comes, it's really rough at the end of the pregnancy on the mama. On top of your emotions running wild with pregnancy, you have just done an amazing job of getting clean and that alone can give you some rough days for a little while longer.

I think the girls above have some great suggestions - even if you can't get off early - a personal day at the pool or any place you find relaxing would probably do you wonders.

IT WILL GET BETTER SOON!!!!! Sherry

[Anonymous]

I'm so irritated today. I'm so big, it's so hot, and I want vacation. I'm sick of working every day. I'm so tired. All I did was toss and turn last night. My daughter and my boyfriend are going to the BEACH today and I'm stuck in this stupid, boring office. I almost wish sometimes I could get canned. I'm angry that I have to support my family during this time. I feel like it's too much pressure for me. My boyfriend complains about staying home with my daughter and I just want to slap him. I wish I had 18 hours a day of doing absolutely nothing. OH NO, I have to vacuum and do dishes inside the AC, oh my! What a task! PLEASE. Get a grip. I wish that was all I had to do. I'm just so bitter today. I don't want to work anymore. I want him to work and take care of me for once, I'm tired of working. I've worked full time since I was 15 years old. I need a break.

Nadia,
haven't had a chance to be on the forum much lately. LOVE this post!
Proud of you.

WORD......to you!

[surfdog]

Nadia Obviously I know nothing about pregnant, other than every man should have to live with a pregnant woman at least once in his lifetime, to appreciate the difference in body parts. It will pass, try ther quiet time exercise it clears the mind. If thoughts keep coming just let them run through your mind like watching a train go by. Hope you feel betteer Dog

[rxqueen83]

Hey Guys & Girls;
I'm definately going to look into something like this. I am exhausted. I tossed and turned ALL night last night to no avail. I am so tired. I desperately need a vacation. I am so uncomfortable Thanks for all the replies.

Nadia

[rxqueen83]

Hey Peeps.
I'm back. I'm okay. Just needed some rest I guess. My boss probably wasn't too happy I left early but ah well. Life goes on. He'll get over it. Not like I got much rest anyway. Sleep is very elusive nowadays. And I really can't take anything but two Tylenol PM. So I'm officially an insomniac. The only symptom I have left is sneezing now. Everything else is good. Things are falling into place. Can't wait to have this kid!

[Strong Desire]

Hey Peeps.
I'm back. I'm okay. Just needed some rest I guess. My boss probably wasn't too happy I left early but ah well. Life goes on. He'll get over it. Not like I got much rest anyway. Sleep is very elusive nowadays. And I really can't take anything but two Tylenol PM. So I'm officially an insomniac. The only symptom I have left is sneezing now. Everything else is good. Things are falling into place. Can't wait to have this kid!

Hi Nadia,

I really love your attitude. The boss will certainly get over it like you said! LOL. I can picture it now, you want to leave, he says can't spare you, and you say "tough, I'm outta here baby" or something close to that! LOL. Been there done that when I was in the office full time. You go girl!

About 3 weeks and you'll have a little one to care for. How great that must feel. I think back and it was the happiest time of my life! I just know you're a wonderful mother. They (your family) are all so lucky and blessed to have you in their lives. Hang in there and I know exactly how you're feeling right now. Big and hot just like you said recently.

Thanks for your post on my thread. Meant a lot to me. I know how much you care about me and the feeling is mutual I assure you. Think the world of you Nadia and can't hardly wait til you get on here and post about that baby! Take care girl and talk to you soon.

Lotsa Love,
Karen

[rxqueen83]

Heyyyy Karen
I got your back girl LOL. I'm very protective of my friends/family. Mama Bear My attitude is very funny lately, a little snarky I guess. My realistic/sarcastic/smart @$$ side is coming back. I'm seeing "through" people a lot more, you know? The fog has lifted. My sense of smell is much better and I think I can smell a bunch of bull a lot easier and faster. It's hard to explain but I'm just a lot more able to call it as I see it. I guess some people won't like me very much for it but hey, that's what sobriety is all about. Basically I'm becoming very impatient with people who I consider babies and pacifists. I think they need to grow up, toughen up and deal with life on life's terms without chemical dependancy. If I can do it, you can do it, all of us here can do it (that have), then why can't others do it? The excuses are amazing and mind blowing.

I'm not referring to anyone here, really people who are surrouding me in my "life" or "real life". My Mothers boyfriend (recovering addict/alcoholic) tried to convince her there was no way I could truly be clean from Sub, that I needed a detox??? That he'd never, ever heard of it before??? I guess they actually had a dispute about it, and my Mom stuck up for me. A detox? I want to tell him to grow a set! C'mon! Really? LOL. When you make up your mind your going to do something, you do it. Anything you come to face in the battle is a minor set back. The reward is bitter sweet. The freedom from the burden of addiction. I'm not putting down anyone who uses Sub or Methadone, I still consider them both valuable tools -- but I'm serious. When your done, your done. The mental can take over the physical as soon as you let it. That, and a relationship with a higher power, the only thing that can truly relieve the addiction.

I didn't get mad or defensive about it. I kind of laughed it off. I'm sure even more people would say the same thing. What can I say? So that's my share of the day. I hope y'all are doing well. I am. Wish I could sleep, but I know that will return soon. I can't wait to meet my son. Hopefully he will never see me use. Something my daughter unfortunately was subjected to.

Nadia

[SherryMN]

I've kinda got your attitude also. I just don't want to hear why people can't - if you really want to, you can do almost anything. My doctors kept telling me I was getting worse and giving higher doses of the morphine. When I wanted to get off, they told me no at first. They said I wouldn't be able to stand the pain. When then when they realized I was serious, they said I need to go to detox. I said no, got tired of arguing, got rid of the doctors and quit for good - almost a month ago now.

Apparently, last Saturday, I was quite cranky because my husband asked me to take a few days for myself and he would watch the grandkids. He wasn't really supportive at the beginning but he is really proud of me now. I left for the beach 10 minutes later. It's a 5 hour ride. I never could drive more than 45 minutes when I was on all the meds and then I had to rest when I got where I was going. I had no trouble driving, walking, etc. I got home last night. Chip says I look 20 years younger and I feel so much stronger. I'm sleeping normally now. Even the sneezing has stopped! Last night an old friend of his wanted to borrow money - he went on a little binge and spent his paycheck. Chip had loaned him money before but this time he wouldn't. He said that after watching me these past 2 months, he just can't help someone who isn't even trying to get clean.

As far as sleeping goes, It's been 30 years since I had my last baby, but I can remember it like yesterday. You just can't get comfortable and just when you drift off, the baby usually decides it's time for him to wake up and then you are wide awake. It seemed awful when I was going through it but after Samson was in my arms, it seemed kinda funny that someone so little could do so much to me. Just a little longer and you'll be able to sleep.

Sherry

[toni.s.]

I've kinda got your attitude also. I just don't want to hear why people can't - if you really want to, you can do almost anything. My doctors kept telling me I was getting worse and giving higher doses of the morphine. When I wanted to get off, they told me no at first. They said I wouldn't be able to stand the pain. When then when they realized I was serious, they said I need to go to detox. I said no, got tired of arguing, got rid of the doctors and quit for good - almost a month ago now.

Apparently, last Saturday, I was quite cranky because my husband asked me to take a few days for myself and he would watch the grandkids. He wasn't really supportive at the beginning but he is really proud of me now. I left for the beach 10 minutes later. It's a 5 hour ride. I never could drive more than 45 minutes when I was on all the meds and then I had to rest when I got where I was going. I had no trouble driving, walking, etc. I got home last night. Chip says I look 20 years younger and I feel so much stronger. I'm sleeping normally now. Even the sneezing has stopped! Last night an old friend of his wanted to borrow money - he went on a little binge and spent his paycheck. Chip had loaned him money before but this time he wouldn't. He said that after watching me these past 2 months, he just can't help someone who isn't even trying to get clean.

As far as sleeping goes, It's been 30 years since I had my last baby, but I can remember it like yesterday. You just can't get comfortable and just when you drift off, the baby usually decides it's time for him to wake up and then you are wide awake. It seemed awful when I was going through it but after Samson was in my arms, it seemed kinda funny that someone so little could do so much to me. Just a little longer and you'll be able to sleep.

Sherry

what an inspirational post Sherry!
loved it
good for u!

[rxqueen83]

Sherry
Always good to hear from you. Isn't it amazing how mild the pain can really be when we stop those meds? I was on MS Contin and Oxycodone after I had my daughter in 12/2007 for a degenerative disk problem in my back. Then I went to Sub the first time. It's amazing nowadays a little heat/Ibuprofen and rest can fix the problem! I'm hoping this insomnia is due to the baby and not to PAWS. I'll tell you, it's starting to wear on me. I think it's a combo of both. But there's nothing I can do about it. I have to ride it out. I can't take any drugs except Tylenol PM and my body just laughs at me. No way is that putting me to sleep. I'm pretty sure this is the last of the Sub W/D and it will take some time to iron itself out. I guess I shouldn't be sleeping too heavy anyway expecting a baby!

I'm so happy for you Sherry! Thanks for stopping by.

[Anonymous]

Nadia...
I promise you it's not PAWS......
truly, sleep comes last, and it sneaks up on you.
My taper buddy's thread was started because he couldn't sleep.
That's all we talked about, until we didn't....
http://www.drugs.com/forum/need-talk...als-57641.html
Hang in there......
you rock kiddo!

[toni.s.]

Heyyyy Karen
I got your back girl LOL. I'm very protective of my friends/family. Mama Bear My attitude is very funny lately, a little snarky I guess. My realistic/sarcastic/smart @$$ side is coming back. I'm seeing "through" people a lot more, you know? The fog has lifted. My sense of smell is much better and I think I can smell a bunch of bull a lot easier and faster. It's hard to explain but I'm just a lot more able to call it as I see it. I guess some people won't like me very much for it but hey, that's what sobriety is all about. Basically I'm becoming very impatient with people who I consider babies and pacifists. I think they need to grow up, toughen up and deal with life on life's terms without chemical dependancy. If I can do it, you can do it, all of us here can do it (that have), then why can't others do it? The excuses are amazing and mind blowing.

I'm not referring to anyone here, really people who are surrouding me in my "life" or "real life". My Mothers boyfriend (recovering addict/alcoholic) tried to convince her there was no way I could truly be clean from Sub, that I needed a detox??? That he'd never, ever heard of it before??? I guess they actually had a dispute about it, and my Mom stuck up for me. A detox? I want to tell him to grow a set! C'mon! Really? LOL. When you make up your mind your going to do something, you do it. Anything you come to face in the battle is a minor set back. The reward is bitter sweet. The freedom from the burden of addiction. I'm not putting down anyone who uses Sub or Methadone, I still consider them both valuable tools -- but I'm serious. When your done, your done. The mental can take over the physical as soon as you let it. That, and a relationship with a higher power, the only thing that can truly relieve the addiction.

I didn't get mad or defensive about it. I kind of laughed it off. I'm sure even more people would say the same thing. What can I say? So that's my share of the day. I hope y'all are doing well. I am. Wish I could sleep, but I know that will return soon. I can't wait to meet my son. Hopefully he will never see me use. Something my daughter unfortunately was subjected to.

Nadia

lol, you are a little 'mama bear' aren't u!
i sensed that beforehand,..
but it IS coming out now!
i love it girl!
your daughter and ur son are extremely lucky to have u.

[rxqueen83]

Thank you guys & girls. Wally, how long did it take you? I know everybody is different...but something to compare would be nice! I hope y'all are having a great day.

[Anonymous]

Nadia....
I was coming off 200mcgs fent patches cold turkey and Ryan was coming off methadone cold turkey......
so it was much longer than i think you will have to deal with.
Actually, you might check out cheeky's thread to see how long it took her...
i know she took a sleep aid a bit, so that's not for you.
still she didn't need it long.

[rxqueen83]

Hey Marian...
Thanks so much for the link. I was just skimming through the thread, that's great. I am so greatful to have people like you on my side. 200 mcgs of Fent, ouch. I was messing with Fent patches and lollipops. Fent is the perfect drug. Meaning, it's man made, so it just sits on all those receptors...that was actually the last opioid I relapsed on in 2008. Popped a patch in my mouth and chewed it. Wow, what a buzz.

OK, nuff of that! LOL

That's a good idea too, I will check cheeky's thread. Issue is I think she took some "clonazzy's" or klonopins as we call them here. If I wasn't pregnant I'd be taking them too. I've considered going to the ER but the guy on my other shoulder is saying NO NO NO. Ah boy...

It's been 18 days. I know that's not that long. Seems like forever when I'm not sleeping though. And what's pi$$ing me off is the fifth or sixth night I was able to sleep for ten hours! What gives?

[bekka1964]

I am happy to listen and help if I can. I did not have to much success after tapering off subs, I was 2 months clean july20 but have relasped 3 times since, short relaspe, I think I tapered to quickly and had nothing for anxiety, seems the ppl who succeed taper very slowly and they take something for anxietry. good luck & god bless

Any takers for a taper buddy from Sub? I've seen a couple people have good success when they have someone to talk to! Anybody?

[Crystalclear651]

Nadia, last time on subs sleep was good some days then bad for some days. Ur sleep will b getting back to normal soon, based on my experience I was sleeping better in a month. Hang in there girl. Sleep probs suck tho so I feel for ya. Some of those symptoms are incredibly annoying n it's the duration that I think gets to ppl but hold strong n ul b feeling better very very soon. Chat later mama bear

[Anonymous]

Nadia....
when it comes to sleep and what gives?...
heck i wish i knew!
when i first came on here, i read tons and tons of threads (usually during the nite)
and i realized that lack of sleep seemed to be what knocked people off their clean time more than
almost anything....
i was determined not to have gone thru everything else and then let lack of sleep do me in.
omg it was soooo hard tho!
you have my utmost sympathy tho.....
especially since that baby is coming!!! that right there means lack of sleep.
if it helps, think you'll be caught up on your sleep by then.
Take care!

[rxqueen83]

Marian (((hugs))) thank you. I put my faith in you! I believe people give up because of this, but I'm too far now. Can't do it.

I guess my new name is Mama Bear? LOL. You girls are funny. I love ya'z.

Becka - Tapering only guarantee's one thing, less w/d. Does not guarantee you or anyone will stay clean. Nor do anxiety pills. In fact, benzo's are a worse addiction then opiates. You need to identify what made you relapse. Person, place or thing...anxiety pills and tapering are not the answer there. What made you pick up again? That is the ugly question.

I did not use anxiety pills and barely ever reccomend anyone does. I battled xanax and kpin's a couple times, fudge that! But hey, welcome to my nightmare. Think your gonna like it here

[rxqueen83]

Good Morning! I finally slept last night from 11:00 PM to 9:00 AM. I did not wake up ONCE. I was exhausted. I needed sleep, I was getting cranky and stupid. I am still feeling fatigued, hopefully I can get moving and shake it off. Today is my day off. I forgot to tell you guys, my son will be born the 29th. Same day as my Daddy! Woot! So 17 more days till I'm off from work for 3 WEEKS! And 20 days till my baby is here.

I feel badly for complaining about my boyfriend. I've been very hard on him lately and he is a good man. I'm lucky to have him. He's been doing everything around here and dealing with me is a chore lately. Boy am I a witch! LOL.

I hope you all have a great day. Hey Marian, are you a sponsor by any chance? My great aunt is named Marian, we call her Auntie Manny!

[rxqueen83]

Today is day 19!!!

[Anonymous]

Good Morning! I finally slept last night from 11:00 PM to 9:00 AM. I did not wake up ONCE. I was exhausted. I needed sleep, I was getting cranky and stupid. I am still feeling fatigued, hopefully I can get moving and shake it off. Today is my day off. I forgot to tell you guys, my son will be born the 29th. Same day as my Daddy! Woot! So 17 more days till I'm off from work for 3 WEEKS! And 20 days till my baby is here.

I feel badly for complaining about my boyfriend. I've been very hard on him lately and he is a good man. I'm lucky to have him. He's been doing everything around here and dealing with me is a chore lately. Boy am I a witch! LOL.

I hope you all have a great day. Hey Marian, are you a sponsor by any chance? My great aunt is named Marian, we call her Auntie Manny!

Wow! Sleep!!!! a lifesaver
We all complain about everything when we first get here.
it's safe, and our emotions are so up and down. better than saying all that to our loved ones.
Not a sponsor now......
my life very chaotic right now.
My mom died a few months ago and we took care of her.
Now my dad not doing well and we've been taking turns staying with him since mom died.
so i'm on the road constantly it seems.
My stress level through the roof right now it seems.
Like Reid has ALWAYS told me....sometimes Life Blows!..and....
this too shall pass.........
I'm so very happy you got some sleep.
was worried about you!

[rxqueen83]

Hey Shadow
I'm so sorry about your parents Yes, Reid is right, life does bite the big one at times. I definately needed sleep, thank God I did. Getting irritable and grouchy with everyone! Bahhhhh! This too shall pass!

[Anonymous]

Lol...
Reid is becoming famous for his "sayings"!
Marian

[Strong Desire]

Wow! Sleep!!!! a lifesaver
We all complain about everything when we first get here.
it's safe, and our emotions are so up and down. better than saying all that to our loved ones.
Not a sponsor now......
my life very chaotic right now.
My mom died a few months ago and we took care of her.
Now my dad not doing well and we've been taking turns staying with him since mom died.
so i'm on the road constantly it seems.
My stress level through the roof right now it seems.
Like Reid has ALWAYS told me....sometimes Life Blows!..and....
this too shall pass.........
I'm so very happy you got some sleep.
was worried about you!

Very sorry to hear about your parents Marian. I pray for everyone on this forum everyday and that means you as well. Just wanted you to know that.

Karen

[toni.s.]

marian..it's funny nadia asked u about being a sponsor.

i've thought about if this forum were an NA group..
yeah..i'm crazy..lol
i woulda asked u to be my sponsor.


-sorry to hear about ur troubles.

but thank you so much for ur time spent here!

u were saying in a post...i think on karen's thread? about worrying about ur words coming out wrong..or ur point maybe not coming across..or something to that effect..

just letting u know that's not true.
i appreciate everything u say. and i (or atleast i hope i do lol!) understand the point ur trying to make in all of ur posts..and take everything u (and all u old timers) say to heart.

i may not get what ur saying RIGHT away..but it usually sinks in.

think i can speak for the majority of us newcomers that have stuck around in this forum when i say that too.

i'ver said it before ..and i'l say it again.
you guys are the glue that holds this forum together.

and keeps me/us coming back...

[rxqueen83]

Good Lord I am just miserable today. I think I've laid into my boyfriend about six times already. What is wrong with me!!!! I'm so angry and miserable! I can't shake this feeling of I hate everybody and everything. My life stinks, blah blah blah. I am depressed, irritable, lazy...I could really take someone's head off if they gave me the chance. Not even.

I have never, ever woke up one morning in my life and not wanted to go to work? I'm a worker. Where is my drive? My passion to make money and more money? I don't have it anymore. I feel I've lost it. Is this normal? My emotions are running amuck. It has been 20 days. When will it GIVE? I feel I'm going to go crazy or lose everything that's good for me. Uggggh. Good Lord help me.

[Strong Desire]

Good Lord I am just miserable today. I think I've laid into my boyfriend about six times already. What is wrong with me!!!! I'm so angry and miserable! I can't shake this feeling of I hate everybody and everything. My life stinks, blah blah blah. I am depressed, irritable, lazy...I could really take someone's head off if they gave me the chance. Not even.

I have never, ever woke up one morning in my life and not wanted to go to work? I'm a worker. Where is my drive? My passion to make money and more money? I don't have it anymore. I feel I've lost it. Is this normal? My emotions are running amuck. It has been 20 days. When will it GIVE? I feel I'm going to go crazy or lose everything that's good for me. Uggggh. Good Lord help me.

Awww.....Just so you know, I would give ANYTHING to have some of those feelings right now. Instead I have been going through life all bubbly and smiling at everything. You'l be jjust fine sweetie. I know you will. You're allowed to feel that way I have learned recently. And those feelings are the best there is, in my opinion.

So from someone that couldn't see things that way, or worse yet, talk about them, I understand EXACTLY how you are feeling!

Lotsa Love,
Karen

[Crystalclear651]

Nadia,

Sorry ur having these symptoms. Seemed like those were the last to come around for me...I'd say days 30-40 but mind u the last time I was on Subs it was almost two yrs on it...but the lethargy, irritability , depression is a SYMPTOM so don't let it fool u into thinking "is this me now"? I'm on .35 now n those symptoms just hit me n is reminding me of my last jump off. But have solice in knowing it WILL go away.plus mama bear (sorry I just love that nickname) u are almost ready to have that baby n I'm sure being preggers on top of it is compounding things. Sorry I have no words of wisdom but just passing along the saying "this too shall pass". Hang in there girl...I know ur probably not in a good mood to receive this, but congrats on another clean day

Crystal

Good Lord I am just miserable today. I think I've laid into my boyfriend about six times already. What is wrong with me!!!! I'm so angry and miserable! I can't shake this feeling of I hate everybody and everything. My life stinks, blah blah blah. I am depressed, irritable, lazy...I could really take someone's head off if they gave me the chance. Not even.

I have never, ever woke up one morning in my life and not wanted to go to work? I'm a worker. Where is my drive? My passion to make money and more money? I don't have it anymore. I feel I've lost it. Is this normal? My emotions are running amuck. It has been 20 days. When will it GIVE? I feel I'm going to go crazy or lose everything that's good for me. Uggggh. Good Lord help me.

[Strong Desire]

Hi Nadia,

Feeling any better? Jump in when you see this and please give us an update. Care about you girl and want you well for that little one on the way. Less than 3 weeks away so time get happy if possible.

For what it's worth, I'd trade places with ya right now. I want another child that bad! LOL.

Thanks for your continued support of me. Really appreciate it.

Love Ya Girl,
Karen