[luvmybrother]

Hi. I know there are a lot of threads/posts concerning this subject, but I need some very practical advice. I discovered almost a year ago, my brother was taking oxy, hydro and other prescription drugs. I did not realize how bad the problem was until a few months ago when I let him store some belongings in my garage and I found dozens of empty prescription bottles. It really put things into perspective as he has lost his job, dog, apartment, driver license, truck, and virtually everything he owns over the past 6 months. I know it sounds like a terrible country song, but it is true. It also explained his volatile behavior. Since he did not have anywhere to go and at the age of 25 has moved in with our Dad who he hates since he abandoned him in his sophomore year of H.S and unfortunately my brother did not finish. (The family story/drama is worse, but dont want to get into that)

Anyway, my father has no financial resources and my brother is in denial about his addiction and blames his "back pain." He is very convincing and routinely visits the ER, doctors offices etc to try to get more prescriptions. My Dad said he is barely functional. Although he is holding down a job, he does not shower frequently, stays up all night, and is quite self destructive and can be pure evil when he interacts with others at times. He even called the police on my Dad when he confiscated his pills and try to ween him off of them. It is very disturbing. My Dad does not know where to turn since he does not have money, but also my brother has not made the decision to really make a change.

I am sitting on the sidelines and scared to death he will hurt himself, or someone else. I am not sure how I should feel or what I should do. I have tried to talk to him, but often leads into an argument. I have sent letters to let him know I support him and think about him, but he never responds.

My Dad is currently filed an eviction notice with the court to have my brother removed from his house since he is destroying his new family from the inside out. My Dad said my brother was emotionless when he received the notice, and just went about his day. I am afraid he will be homeless and nowhere to go. My wife is afraid for my safety, her safety and our young son (10 months). In fact I just spent the past couple of days donating all the belongings he left in my garage since I had to clear the space for a tenant and I gave him 3 months notice to remove it. It was heartbreaking.

I can never imagine my brother hurting someone, but he clearly is not himself. I just feel helpless, and do not know how to help. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. My brother is so important to me and I am scared.

Thank you,

Luvmybrother

[vduda]

Sounds like your situation is serious. Unfortunately, only your brother can make the decision to quit. It seems that your brother is suffering from more than just an addiction to meds. He seems to be suffering from some kind of mental illness. Just being addicted to opiates won't turn you into a monster. I functioned well for over 10 years taking enormous amounts of opiates and benzos. In fact, I have medical reasons to take the meds such as chronic pain (Kidney stones, over forty broken bones, countles surgeries mostly from sports and car accidents); Anxiety Disorder (Sweating, panic attacks, insomnia). That being said I have kicked a 3,500 mg opiate addiction a day. Been clean over 5 months. Detox almost killed me. But taking the meds did and I had to be resuscitated three times. So it is something really want to do.

That being said, for the most part my behavior was fine until the last two to three years which I experienced a divorce (married 20 years), loosing custody of my daughter, death in the family, and a broken neck and surgery due to a high speed car accident.

One thing you can do is Baker Act your brother. At least they can assess his emotional or mental state. As for his drug taking behavior only your brother can choose to stop. Perhaps an intervention may help. Your family can let him know what his addiction is doing to the family. If he his willing counseling can help. As for his pain, is it legit? I have chosen to live with the pain. This was my decision. But I had to go through hell to get to this point. It sounds like your bro is almost at that point. Rock bottom is right around the corner. Being addicted to drugs is a nightmare. I know your suffering, but he is suffering even more. Love him and do what you can. Just don't become an enabler. God Bless

[luvmybrother]

It helps to know people have beaten their addiction. I hope and pray my brother will find that same path. Thank you.

[ymccormack]

Dear Luvmybrother:

Sorry to read about your brother. I agree with VDUDA in that your brother can't be helped until he wants help.

One of the symptoms of drug addiction is that the addict can't see that the drugs are causing most of their problems. In this case an intervention may help....I also suggest you watch the t.v. show "Intervention" on A&E which focuses on this very subject and should help you to get the jist of how to go about it. You can visit the A&E website to read more about it too.

Basically, you're going to have to wait for your brother to hit rock bottom. It sounds painful - but also like he's almost there. Giving him money or other assistance now will only delay rock bottom, and allow him to continue on with his destructive lifestyle.

Good Luck and Keep us Posted.

YM

[vduda]

Good advice ymc.

[Runzwithscissors]

You dont have to wait for him to hit rock bottom, while your waiting he may OD and die, and you will feel horrible for not taking action sooner. Addicts often have a very hard time admitting they have a problem even when its this seriouse, plus they are ussually the last to know about it. I am in the process of getting off Oxtcontin and vicodin, I was taking 15, of the 750mg vics a day, and I would very often take over 120mg's of oxy. I ended up asking for help but while I was suffering with my addiction I couldnt admit i had a problem even tho i knew I had one. i just prayed someone would help me, and force me to fix my problems. I am now in outpatient rehab and Im finishing up outpatient detox. I understand that you have a lot of family issues, my family is really mesed up too. I cant stand my parents or my siblings. but just bc people dont get along doesnt mean you guys cant help him.
you need to bring rock bottom to him, stage the intervention, (find a treatment program for him) some counties will pay for his treatment if he does not make much money, it sounds like he may qualify. Tell him if he doesnt recieve treatment he will no longer be apart of your lives, tell him you will alert all the hospitals of his problem so they know he is only trying to get drugs, (they will "red flag" his file so no doctor will prescribe him opiats) check out Intervention on A and E, go to the A and E website and click on intervention and it will tell you when to show is on. I think that will really help you. You need to take action dont just sit back and watch him kill himself. Oc is dangerouse, and you can easily die I have OD'd accidently SO many times. its so easy to die on that stuff you just fall asleep and dont wake up. Anyways i hope I was of some help.. check out getting the free rehab my friend was on heroin and her family is low income, her county paid for her to do inpatient rehab, there is a drug called suboxin he will probably have to pay for it but its amazing for getting off opiates. im on it right now, it takes away all cravings for drugs, and if i take any opiate it wont get me high! you may be able to see a doctor for this drug but it sounds like he needs inpatient badly.