[hoping4help]

Hey guys/gals ,

I have a hronic desease that took me ages to finaly accept. the other thing that i also had to accept, and this was right from my docor :" you MUST accept that you will be in immense pains during your life now, and you'll have to just accept that these oxycontin pills will help you live a normal life".

I feel like nothing is normal. The woman i have asked to marry me loves me (thank goodness), but has to live with these guilty complications i am going through. The pain increased over the last 4 years, and my dosage was increased. Supervised. but it made no difference. I am a slave now, and sweaty, leg-kicking, scared little boy, all of a sudden. I am taking the OxyContin 80mg Green ones, and i know its out of control now, and i need to know if i can do some sort of home-taper without having to go to a rehab at this point. Due to some other personal things we've been going through, i can't risk leaving the house right now in our relationship. Its also a huge straign 'cause she doesnt really know that i feel this out of control, she definitely thinks meds are a bad idea to begin with, but I spent a long time in pain and she has seen me writhing in my flaire-ups.
I just want to stop of be at a reasonable stage. I am above the "use as directed" stage for sure. I know i sound like i have it together, but i am a F&(*F mess. I keep it together when she is home, because I love her so dearly, and i do not want to push her away. Shes the greatest person on the earth

I guess i need to know if it IS indeed possible to be extra strict and taper this off myself, and how can i do this? can it be done slowly over 8 weeks? ideally I will need something when the pain comes, but there is no reason why i have to take 80mg or more when i used to be able to be painless with 2 percocets.

will i ever be back to this? or am I totally dreaming? I think it is possible with some hard work. but I need this confirmed.

I am willing to go to meeting etc. as well, but i feel its unfair if I am using in ANY capacity. its disrespectful no?


pls advise, i really would read and learn.

tkx

'whatever my username is..i forget. lol

[vduda]

I agree you should not be ashamed about going to meetings, thats what the meetings are for...I suffer form chronic pain. In fact, broke my neck in April had surgery in July. Titanium and cadaveur bone holding my neck together. Been on massive amounts of opiates and benzo for the last 10 years due to sport injuries, car accidents, countless surgeries, chronic kidney stones, anxiety disorder, and insomnia. Took barbituates for a while. Clean from opiates and cigs for 5 months and went 4 and a half months without Xanax. Doctor put me back on benzo 3 mg a day because panick attacks were affecting my blood pressure. Also severe insomnia. However, I only take .5 mg before bed. Makes all the difference for me. Still going through withdraw, but feeling a litlle better everyday. Look up Threads and replies for more specifics.

How much do you do a day? And how long has it been. It is very scarry because your between a rock and a hard place. I went through Detox about 4 months after my surgery. Suffered greatly. I am surprised that I don't have more pain from my injuries. But I am still going through withdraws after 5 months. However, I feel a lot better compared to 4 months ago when I was bedridden and having multiple seizures a day (from benzo withdraws).

If your girl really loves you she will understand your situation. I would not have been able to do it without my loved ones support. How do u plan on dealing with your pain? Let me know how you are doing. God Bless

[ymccormack]

OK...

Drugs like percoset are short acting and wear off very quickly. People also build up a tolerance to them very, very quickly. Pretty soon they don't work anymore. That's why you read about people taking 40-50 percosets a day.

Percocet is great for short term pain...after oral surgery or for a broken bone...but after that you have to move on.

It sounds like you really need to be on pain medication. Maybe I am misunderstanding here but basically percosets are not going to help you. Sure, they worked for a while like 2 years ago. But your brain had never met opiates before....your body has built up tolerance. It has nothing to do with your character. You're not a bad person because you've built up a tolerance to this fast acting drug. It's just how it is.

So taking percocets will not help your pain anymore than taking tylenol and it will take years for that to change - and even when it does change it will be temporary. You may want to ask your doctor about methadone. From what I've read, methadone works really well for chronic pain like yours. And you and your doctor can find a stable dose...you won't have to keep taking more and more and feeling "out of control". Methadone should make you feel more normal without feeling loaded or high all the time.

One more thing....when I was taking a lot of Oxycontin...I got a little weird. I was very jittery and paranoid. I'm just a little concerned that the Oxy's may be having this effect on you. Seriously, you need to talk to your doctor about how this drug is impacting your life.

Keep us posted

YM

[vduda]

Good compasionate advice ymccormack! God Bless you.