Inability to be Happy, Excited, In love...

[Chevrolette]

I'v been on depression medication since I was 13 years old. At first I was on Zoloft for my depression, and then they switched it for Budeprion XL 150 MG which is generic for Wellbutrin XL (Which I am currently on). [I am also taking 10 mg of Abilify, and 10 mg of adderal XR.]

I feel as though I am never happy, I'm always bored- nothing excites me. I took a trip to Toronto in Canada just yesterday and it did nothing for me. I hate feeling this way.

I also get no true feeling for anyone that I meet. I have fallen in love before, but that was years ago. Every guy I meet i'm not attracted to.

Basically, It's not me and I would like to know what is making it so I can't feel these feelings.

[Chevrolette]

I forget to mention that I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

[girlonpc03]

well there are several factors to consider:
what is your clean time?
---if you are newly clean this numb feeling is very common...your body is used to the highs and lows of addiction that emotional rollercoaster, co dependents experience this in relationships as well, effects your biochemistry and needs time to work itself out.

what type of therapy are you in?
---often people with BPD gain from group therapy and 1 on 1. It helps with personal growth and insight also helps determine where your at with your disorder and what is the "right" next step.

how are your scripts?
---have you felt a difference since on them? maybe they are not working for you and you should discuss this with your doctor.

what are you doing to help yourself?
---behavior modification is important to get adjusted to "real" life especially when a co morbid issue is present...all the more challenging...meetings, work, normal feel good about yourself activities....are you feeling motivated? are you depressed? ask yourself this everyday....a 10 step at the end of the night could help you review your daily status.

many people have a dual diagnostic thing going on so it's not impossible to feel alive again....time is a big factor but so are all the others i mentioned. this is just some general info. maybe it'll help. i don't know the specifics of what's going on or your history to really help you out individually but your dr. does....use your resources...there def. is help out there. i'll be here if you need any feedback but i'm not a professional and i could only give you limited advice. i hope this helped.