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I'm a mother... What am I doing!!!
  1. #1
    Help44 is offline New Member
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    Default I'm a mother... What am I doing!!!

    I am a mother of a 7 and 2 yr olds... I finally came to the conclusion that I'm addicted to Percocet. I've been taking them for about 5 yrs off and on just for the feeling... I did not take any at all while I was pregnant but after I had my daughter it got worse... I haven't skipped a weekend since I had my youngest and I feel like its taking over my life, I know it is and I need to talk to people like me, that understand what I'm going thru... I finally decided to turn this around and stop but it's not easy, I do not have any physical symptoms but mentally I am a mess... I haven't taken any in 2 days but that's all I think about, I'm depressed and I yell at my kids a lot and I just feel like I don't have any patience for them at all, I would never hurt them but I feel like I'm a horrible mother... Today, I cried all day, then I decided to dance like a lunatic with the kids and that made me feel better... I know this is just a passing storm and I am strong enough to get thru it, but I just need people to talk to and get some advice... I was doing about 12 of the 5/325 a day, that's a lot... Im surprised my liver is still alive!! Can anyone tell me how long does it take until I start feeling better? This really sucks, but I need to stay alive and better myself for my family!!! HELP

  2. #2
    billy5 is offline New Member
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    Your liver is probably fine, that's 3900mg of acetaminophen daily which is already lower than the "safe" dose of 4000mg which isn't nearly lethal to begin with. I know many addicts who consume 5000 to 7000mg daily, and then drink alcohol on top of that.

    I tapered my daytime dose first, and then maintained my night time dose. That was easiest for me, so that way I only felt withdrawal throughout the day, but was able to feel good, unwind, and sleep through the night. The 3rd day will be the worst, and it'll get better after that. After 7 days you'll most definitely notice an improvement. At 14 days, you'll feel much much better. You'll still think about the pills occasionally, but pretty much once you've passed the one week mark you'll only notice improvement every day.

    Don't worry, the withdrawal you're feeling is just the opioid receptors in your brain responding to the absence of opiates, it's not life threatening nor is it permanent.
    Last edited by billy5; 07-26-2012 at 11:22 PM.
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  3. #3
    billy5 is offline New Member
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    During my withdrawals I always just told myself: You know...this isn't anything permanent. Just my brain adapting to the lack of opiates. I feel better before I even know it, and I'll eventually look back and remember how I thought it was a big deal.
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  4. #4
    cryin out is offline Member
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    You are making the best choice for you and your family right now. It may feel different, it will pass and you will feel better as you heal. I had the same problem, started with pain and a script and I went on growing a huge tolerance and got worse as time went on. Watching my kids was the biggest reason the lightbulb went on and I knew I had a problem. I was pretty disconnected from life itself at that time too.
    So, hang tough and post when you need to. We all have been there and totally understand.
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  5. #5
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Help, you are not a bad mother. This is a disease not a moral issue. If you have already gone two days you are in process to go ct. About 7-10 days of bad flu like symptoms. Go to the site for the Thomas recipe it will make it easier with the wd . Exercise, helps. And remember this is temporary, it will pass. You have made the most important decision of your life to get clean. Also NA/AA meetings will be a great help you will need the support. We are here for you so post and let us know how you are doing hang tight you can do this Dog
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  6. #6
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Nobody is immune to addiction Help, even us Mamma's. I have a young child and another on the way, never stopped me until....now. What your experiencing is normal. It will get better.
    Help44 likes this.
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

  7. #7
    mottam is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Help:
    Just wanted to welcome you to the forum, and offer you some support.

    I am a father of two young children. Oxycodone is my DOC also. Many times I went through withdrawal - the physical and emotional nightmare. Those depressing feelings can and do pass. However, I only speak from my experience. If they get to much to handle, talk to a reliable doctor - one who wont judge, but will help. They are out there.
    I had to take Effexor for awhile after stopping. The depression really blind-sided me. It did end, and life now is fantastic. Time. It takes time. In addition, I found that sharing my experiences and feelings w/ fellow addicts was huge. For me, this forum and NA were the key to staying clean.

    If you have any concerns about your liver, again - go see a doctor. Have the doc run a CBC. This could put your mind at ease also.

    You will be an addict for life - but that is not a "death sentence" or Scarlet Letter". It means you need to surrender and be humble, every day. A good support group helps me. I don't need a mob of people - just a few fellow addicts that I relate to, and who relate to me. Maybe this approach can help you also...

    As rxqueen stated - these are the feelings that come w/ getting clean. From my expereince, they do get better. I cried alot when I first got clean. The mind needed to adjust to life on life's terms.

    If you want to stay clean - it takes some work - work on yourself. There are reasons why we use. Find yours, and use a healthy approach (drug/opiate free) to address them.

    In my prayers - best of luck!
    Kindest Regards
    mottam
    Help44 likes this.
    Persistency is consistency

  8. #8
    billy5 is offline New Member
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    When I very first went through withdrawal, some of the things I read online really scared/worried me. People said things such as

    "It will take approx 1 to 2 years before you feel normal again."
    "You'll never ever stop being an addict."
    "The depression almost never goes away."

    These are examples of things found on the internet. I speak from personal experience, and I can say that they are false. It absolutely does Not take years to feel normal again. You'll stop being an addict once you stop popping pills. The depression goes away after your brain has readjusted to the new levels of dopamine.
    Help44 and Comeback Kid like this.

  9. #9
    SammanthaAnne2012 is offline Junior Member
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    Wow. Just the fact that you came on here and posted shows what kind of mother you are. Good for you for wanting to change and reaching out for help. For me, it was one hand down, and one hand up at all times. One hand up to my support and to my Jesus, and one hand down to those who WERE just like me! (you.) I never thought i'd hear, "thank you for helping me change my life." you'll hear it too. One hand up and one hand down girl. You've got it.
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  10. #10
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by billy5 View Post
    When I very first went through withdrawal, some of the things I read online really scared/worried me. People said things such as

    "It will take approx 1 to 2 years before you feel normal again."
    "You'll never ever stop being an addict."
    "The depression almost never goes away."

    These are examples of things found on the internet. I speak from personal experience, and I can say that they are false. It absolutely does Not take years to feel normal again. You'll stop being an addict once you stop popping pills. The depression goes away after your brain has readjusted to the new levels of dopamine.
    you do not stop being an addict when you stop taking pills! Once that line is crossed between abuse and addiction there is no going back. Abstinence puts the disease into remission but it still there. Start using drugs/alcohol again and the disease will once again become active. This is fact not opinion. Once off the drugs then becoming sober is where the work starts, requiring a change in lifestyle and perspective.
    I highly recommend AA/NA meetings these will provide support that will be invaluable. The depression is part of wd, however if it does not go away then you may be looking at clinical depression which is again a disease and very treatable. I also speak from experience both recovering for a number of years and from working in this field for 22 years Dog
    ARTIST658 and Help44 like this.

  11. #11
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Help44 View Post
    I am a mother of a 7 and 2 yr olds... I finally came to the conclusion that I'm addicted to Percocet. I've been taking them for about 5 yrs off and on just for the feeling... I did not take any at all while I was pregnant but after I had my daughter it got worse... I haven't skipped a weekend since I had my youngest and I feel like its taking over my life, I know it is and I need to talk to people like me, that understand what I'm going thru... I finally decided to turn this around and stop but it's not easy, I do not have any physical symptoms but mentally I am a mess... I haven't taken any in 2 days but that's all I think about, I'm depressed and I yell at my kids a lot and I just feel like I don't have any patience for them at all, I would never hurt them but I feel like I'm a horrible mother... Today, I cried all day, then I decided to dance like a lunatic with the kids and that made me feel better... I know this is just a passing storm and I am strong enough to get thru it, but I just need people to talk to and get some advice... I was doing about 12 of the 5/325 a day, that's a lot... Im surprised my liver is still alive!! Can anyone tell me how long does it take until I start feeling better? This really sucks, but I need to stay alive and better myself for my family!!! HELP


    How's it going for you, "Help44"? Have you been able to stay away from the pills this week? We understand this disease and aren't about to judge you. I'm a mom, too - and I felt horrible shame and guilt for having used when they were young. In time, the more you get to know about this disease, you'll be able to forgive yourself and leave that guilt in the past. The important thing is - to move forward. Each day without a pill is the best way of saying, "I love you -- and I'm putting you first" to your children.

    Whether you're clean or not, we would like to hear back from you.

    God bless,
    Ruth
    Comeback Kid and Help44 like this.

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  12. #12
    Help44 is offline New Member
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    Hello everyone,
    I was very happy to see all these posts supporting and encouraging me... YES, I've been clean for 9 days!! I am very proud of myself but I do still think about it all the time... My kids have been sicky, so that kinda is putting me to the test... I do feel better every day thou and I am going to keep on it!! Surfdog, that is what I'm afraid mostly is that I know that once your an addict you'll always be one... it's like fighting cancer (only not as bad)!!
    I did talk to my Doctor, didn't tell her about my addiction but I told her about my anxiety/depression, she put me on Paroxetine... is it working? I don't feel any difference to be honest, but I'll keep on taking it and take 1 day at a time...

    Again, thank you all for the support... I will keep on checking in once and again!!

    Help44

  13. #13
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Help44 View Post
    Hello everyone,
    I was very happy to see all these posts supporting and encouraging me... YES, I've been clean for 9 days!! I am very proud of myself but I do still think about it all the time... My kids have been sicky, so that kinda is putting me to the test... I do feel better every day thou and I am going to keep on it!! Surfdog, that is what I'm afraid mostly is that I know that once your an addict you'll always be one... it's like fighting cancer (only not as bad)!!
    I did talk to my Doctor, didn't tell her about my addiction but I told her about my anxiety/depression, she put me on Paroxetine... is it working? I don't feel any difference to be honest, but I'll keep on taking it and take 1 day at a time...

    Again, thank you all for the support... I will keep on checking in once and again!!

    Help44
    Help we stop fighting it when we get clean And congrats on the time you have.We accept the fact we have this disease and make lifestyle changes keep it in remission and live a normal life Strongly suggest AA/NA meetings Hang tight Dog

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