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Im in for it, im stopin mmt after 300 days, im jumpin cuz no money,,at 100 mgs
  1. #1
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    Angry Im in for it, im stopin mmt after 300 days, im jumpin cuz no money,,at 100 mgs

    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by ddcmod; 10-02-2012 at 04:00 PM.

  2. #2
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Didn't get to see your post, one of mine was deleted for swearing and I don't know what I did. So don't worry about that, just make sure you edit your speech. Let us know how you are getting on though. Jumping methadone at 100mg. is no joke. Check out the Thomas Recipe. Many of the ingredients are easy to find and cheap. The best advice is to stay hydrated water, juice, gatorade (also may help with cramping and rls.) Hyland's restful legs, hot baths/showers. Wish you good luck.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  3. #3
    AnaAna is offline New Member
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    Hi CC,
    I sure hope you are doing ok.....I mean, I know I read a post by someone who jumped at one thirty mg. in here....they almost went back, then at the last minute they just decided to continue on without any opiates and *did* it! But, wow, good luck and I hope you post about what you are going thru and how you are doing.

    Iloerose, is this stuff with missing posts normal around here? I can't tell if I'm doing something totally wrong or what, but it does get kind of frustrating sometimes! I mean I know I didn't swear in the post, I am like 99 percent sure I actually *saw* posts posted and then I come back and they are gone. And like I saw that you had responded to Crazyclearwater, but i had to refresh this page three times to *see* your post. If I had only come here and refreshed one time and had not noticed you responded by checking the list of all the threads, I would think no one had responded at all....anyway, it's just kinda weird. I mean it doesn't even say deleted for swearing - not that I remember anything close to swearing - the posts are just gone. *sigh* a.

  4. #4
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    si no cussin here,i got it, i dont like it,i got kiked from my last site for cusin 2 much, wtf freedom of speach mean anything,its the frekin internet who cares,,my god, some people r so dam anal about life,,just chill smoke a blunt n relax!i didnt jump that day i got my job back n im still mmting it,every gd morn at 5am i wake upn im ready still 10+ months later,get coffe n goto klinik ,,fun stuff,i really like it,the crazy mister

  5. #5
    Anonymous Guest

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    thats exactly why somewhere else on this site ive said, YOU ARE NOT READY TO GET CLEAN.

    you like the drugs too much right now. you were only wantin to switch for money reasons. come back when you are really ready. and as for the cussin, ive been there. just learn not to . easy. haha

  6. #6
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    i think im understanding my recovery better, it truthfully was a game from day 1 at the klinik when maybe a hour in the intake i was 1st ,man i was up at 4am, first time in 11 years ,since my kid was born, now since 12-5-11 ive waken up by 7, usually 5am im up eyes open n i get up n go ,, back in 30 like a pizza, coffe n i play on pc till 9 goto work come home do ovr n over . 325 days or so now n i dont wana stop yet so i wont,im gona taper soon but not yet. im just getting this, lifes working , im in no pain,k but in intake the dam guy director said we want u to be inbetween the lines of high,,,woohat high i thought , awesome, i swear, it was horible, im a addict i know it, my boss n girlfriend pushed me into treatment, so i could keep working making the fn money, always li fn e yea life is about the fn money we have, i hate it , but i need it bad like all of us, so we must work, cool i got that down, now im not going to ever take another pill, i took a few norcos on monday , i feel nothing from them, but ill take anything free, my gf gives me 30 a month w 30 xanys, so thats y i never stoped,, shes gone now so i can stop,wild huh, im 39 i sound younger im sure my brains wacked like most of us, in the morn on my way home from the klinik, which is a fun ritual,i dont understand it except i get high if i go , so i go,.. how the hell is that gona fix o mfer, yeahh right come on u basterds fkers u got me good i hav to goto the fn hell hole every morn or ill b sik, if i wouldnt b sik >> fn stop sure , no pain no gain, i hate that term, but is so true, TO SUM IT UP i understand mmt treatment , do just the methadone, well i need weed, sorry..so i guess im damed if u do damed if u dont???? bt i will stop doind even the free pills, that was my justifacation they were free man.

  7. #7
    Anonymous Guest

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    you gonna get deleted for cursing bro. cut out the swearing....

    free drugs. cmon man, just coz they free you cant say no. yup you gotta lota work to do on your 'recovery'

    and remember, being on mmt, is not clean. its not recovery. that all starts when ya get clean.

  8. #8
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    its recovery to me, im not buyn hundreds of dollars of pills a week ne more, so thats a acomplishment by itself, u guys cant get to me sayn im not in treatment cuz i am,n i doing awesome , i hav money , my son , n im not snorting everything i can , been weeks since something went up my nose , n my nose still hurts from 6 weeks ago screwn up, dude im clean

  9. #9
    winged eagle is offline Advanced Member
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    CC, Cheeky is kinda right. But so are you.
    Yes, being on methadone isn't exactly being clean, you are still on a strong opiate.
    However, you ARE headed in the right direction. Stopping the pills is huge, and if you intend on tapering the M, then yes, that is also an accomplishment.
    This has to be done at your own pace. None of us can convince you to stop. You have to be ready. But it seems to me that you're getting ready to be ready.. Kow what I mean?
    Just keep posting, keep reading.
    And don't think we don't get it.
    I was you.
    Cheeky was you.
    We just want you to be where we're at right now.
    But again, one day at a time.
    You'll get there :-)

  10. #10
    Anonymous Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyclearwater View Post
    its recovery to me, im not buyn hundreds of dollars of pills a week ne more, so thats a acomplishment by itself, u guys cant get to me sayn im not in treatment cuz i am,n i doing awesome , i hav money , my son , n im not snorting everything i can , been weeks since something went up my nose , n my nose still hurts from 6 weeks ago screwn up, dude im clean
    actually eagle is right as well. yes you are taking steps to get off the merry go round of drugs. and good on ya... i guess what im seeing from you, is the LOVE of drugs, and the denial of your current behaviour, eg. pills only a week ago. snorting 6 weeks ago. weed all the time. (dont get me wrong i smoke weed too) but its your attitude of how great drugs are. its like you are still romanticising them and that needs to change.
    i know you feel like you are doing awesome, and like eagle says, least you are making attempts to change, BUT bro, you still are using a hard core opiate. that is not clean ok....

    work on why you think you still like the drugs so much. if you have been on the methadone for that long, you should be starting to feel stable, and not have the desire so much to dabble in other drugs.

    do ya see my point man. and you say you are doing 'awesome', and yet only last week your post that got deleted raved on about 'help im gonna cold turkey, got no money' or words to that effect.

    this is week to week, very big changes, i would really suggest to stick to JUST THE METHADONE. dont dabble with extra 'xanys' as you call them. try and stick to the program. it will really help you..

    yes, methadone saved my life, but it also can be a rut.....

    and its really really LIBERATING to not be chained to the clinic....

    have you tried any NA meetings. you can meet clean people there. that would be a good start for you...

    anyway also as eagle says, you seem to be gettin ready to be ready. and thats a start....

    and yup, i was totally in your shoes, gettin banned for cursing, and had a real smart a$$ attitude. maybe i can see myself in you ?? haha

    KEEP WORKIN ON IT...

  11. #11
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    u guys r funny i like it , finally a true to me responce,, great, some1 sees what i see, im happy, today was the 1st day i was accually happy, i lost my girlfriend n 12 yr old boy , 2 months ago, she took him away,n she uses so many pills its horrible, the only way i can stop using my self is to not see her,then when im better get her away from my boy, shes a fn zombie at times...

    i was with them his whole life,her since i was 17 , on off till 2000,, we hav a 21 yr old daughter n this 12 yr old son,, life is hard....
    so im was screwed, my mind was screwed no life u no,SUICIDAL ALL THEWWAY , im sure im not alone wthat 1,,it was scarey.when they left it was real bad,,,
    now i live, 4 me then my son , thats it f every1 else, screw em i dont care,i need no1 , this week i proved it to myself, im am finally self sufficent, its amazing, 4 me atleast , im alone no 1 is controling me n im not screwin up, wow , what the hell is this , maybe , being grown up?

  12. #12
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    Sep 2012
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    of corse i did screwup cpl days later , i told u no1 controls me now, im like a split personality, im so indecisive,p must be scitzo, never saw a doc so i dont know,most women i know r on somekind of mood stabilizer. im sure the doc would giv me 1 to, i sure would like a script of xanac bars, i need a few a day n i stay cool. i blew up a lot in the last 3 months, i want control, at times theres no time for me to chill n count bacwards or watever,b4 i go nuts n yell n mayb fist fight, its always w/a drunk, atleast im sober so i can fight.give me the advantage.

  13. #13
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    WoW I WAS A WILDMaN

    Quote Originally Posted by crazyclearwater View Post
    i think im understanding my recovery better, it truthfully was a game from day 1 at the klinik when maybe a hour in the intake i was 1st ,man i was up at 4am, first time in 11 years ,since my kid was born, now since 12-5-11 ive waken up by 7, usually 5am im up eyes open n i get up n go ,, back in 30 like a pizza, coffe n i play on pc till 9 goto work come home do ovr n over . 325 days or so now n i dont wana stop yet so i wont,im gona taper soon but not yet. im just getting this, lifes working , im in no pain,k but in intake the dam guy director said we want u to be inbetween the lines of high,,,woohat high i thought , awesome, i swear, it was horible, im a addict i know it, my boss n girlfriend pushed me into treatment, so i could keep working making the fn money, always li fn e yea life is about the fn money we have, i hate it , but i need it bad like all of us, so we must work, cool i got that down, now im not going to ever take another pill, i took a few norcos on monday , i feel nothing from them, but ill take anything free, my gf gives me 30 a month w 30 xanys, so thats y i never stoped,, shes gone now so i can stop,wild huh, im 39 i sound younger im sure my brains wacked like most of us, in the morn on my way home from the klinik, which is a fun ritual,i dont understand it except i get high if i go , so i go,.. how the hell is that gona fix o mfer, yeahh right come on u basterds fkers u got me good i hav to goto the fn hell hole every morn or ill b sik, if i wouldnt b sik >> fn stop sure , no pain no gain, i hate that term, but is so true, TO SUM IT UP i understand mmt treatment , do just the methadone, well i need weed, sorry..so i guess im damed if u do damed if u dont???? bt i will stop doind even the free pills, that was my justifacation they were free man.

  14. #14
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    Sep 2012
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    I have control now....

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyclearwater View Post
    u guys r funny i like it , finally a true to me responce,, great, some1 sees what i see, im happy, today was the 1st day i was accually happy, i lost my girlfriend n 12 yr old boy , 2 months ago, she took him away,n she uses so many pills its horrible, the only way i can stop using my self is to not see her,then when im better get her away from my boy, shes a fn zombie at times...

    I was with them his whole life,her since i was 17 , on off till 2000,, we hav a 21 yr old daughter n this 12 yr old son,, life is hard....
    So im was screwed, my mind was screwed no life u no,suicidal all thewway , im sure im not alone wthat 1,,it was scarey.when they left it was real bad,,,
    now i live, 4 me then my son , thats it f every1 else, screw em i dont care,i need no1 , this week i proved it to myself, im am finally self sufficent, its amazing, 4 me atleast , im alone no 1 is controling me n im not screwin up, wow , what the hell is this , maybe , being grown up?
    that lasted less than day...

  16. #16
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    screw drugs!!

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