[pbs8218]

I seriously am considering getting back into it. Atleast it gave me energy. It gave me a "happy" feeling, if only for a few hours. I have two i've been holding since I quit and it's taken every inch of my soul not to take (perc).

I am so physically and mentally tired. My body aches mildly, and I really can't complain much about withdrawals. My husband has been a no show in the support department. I think that's what I think is killing me to the core. In about 9 years, I have NEVER tried to quit. Here I am, 3 1/2 days clean, and he has barely said a word about it. I WAS proud of myself, but am at the point where-whats the big f'n deal?

How long does it take til you feel a little better mentally? I can handle the physical, i've been fortunate not to have anything more than aches, pains, and tiredness. I feel more depressed than ever and have always been a depressed person. I take zoloft and welbuterin and it's not helping. I cry all the time and I am at the lowest point. Any input?

[Phoebe_Twayblade]

Can you get to a meeting? Can you go for a walk?

Drink some juice. Take a hot bath.

You won't always feel the way you do now. I know that's not what you want to hear right now.

[pbs8218]

how long have you been clean?

[Phoebe_Twayblade]

What do you mean by "clean"? I have to take pain meds now so technically I'm not "clean" according to some definitions.

When is the last time I abused my pain medications? Let's see, I'm 56 now.

It's been at least 10 years.

[pbs8218]

Originally Posted by Phoebe_Twayblade

What do you mean by "clean"? I have to take pain meds now so technically I'm not "clean" according to some definitions.

When is the last time I abused my pain medications? Let's see, I'm 56 now.

It's been at least 10 years.

are you married? did you have support? I guess you really can't measure how long it takes before you don't feel so down. I guess I just expected good things with each day, and it's just been harder mentally.

[Phoebe_Twayblade]

I have to say that as bad as the physical withdrawal was (and it was horrible) the emotional/mental part was worse. I hit a wall at 72 hours. I had never felt such mental anguish before. It was hell on earth.

It passed. I can't tell you how long it took to feel better. I kept "distracting" myself from using until it passed. I thought I would die of the mental anguish, but I didn't.

I am very lucky to have a wonderful husband (married 25 years) who is always supportive. But I rely on others too, especially people in the recovery community.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by pbs8218

I seriously am considering getting back into it. Atleast it gave me energy. It gave me a "happy" feeling, if only for a few hours. I have two i've been holding since I quit and it's taken every inch of my soul not to take (perc).

I am so physically and mentally tired. My body aches mildly, and I really can't complain much about withdrawals. My husband has been a no show in the support department. I think that's what I think is killing me to the core. In about 9 years, I have NEVER tried to quit. Here I am, 3 1/2 days clean, and he has barely said a word about it. I WAS proud of myself, but am at the point where-whats the big f'n deal?

How long does it take til you feel a little better mentally? I can handle the physical, i've been fortunate not to have anything more than aches, pains, and tiredness. I feel more depressed than ever and have always been a depressed person. I take zoloft and welbuterin and it's not helping. I cry all the time and I am at the lowest point. Any input?

Hi pbs
Hang in there...The first week is the hardest and then it will get better...
Don't do this for anyone but yourself.I know what you mean about support,This site was it.but I got some great support it was plenty enough to get me through it.just give this a little time,everyone cries and feels like sh**
for awhile.just take it one day at a time or one hour at a time,But don't give up on yourself.keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
Ill be praying for you,Talk to you soon ,Melinda

[Phoebe_Twayblade]

Maybe you hit the same wall I did. The "72 hour mark" has always been the worst for me. That's when the mental demons swarm out. I kept thinking "All I have to do is take a pill and the pain will go away. I'll feel normal."

But deep inside I knew this was a lie. There aren't enough pills in the world to make me feel as good as I want to feel. My body will do anything to get the drugs. When I say "it's all mental" I don't mean that the cravings is not real. It's very real. I kept imagining that I was starving the beast inside me that was demanding the drugs. His voice got smaller and smaller until I hardly heard him at ll.

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. Have you considered suboxone?

[cagirl]

Hi....Ive been thinking about you wondering how your doing...That is great 3 1/2 days you should be proud of your self..Unfortunately the mental part is worse then the physical, you have to keep positive please dont take any pills your already past three days that is great it will get better it may feel like it wont but trust me it does cause I felt the same when I was quitting...everyday will get better, it sucks you have no support at home but you have alll of us here.You can do it hang in there its not gonna be easy, in the end it will be worth it!!! Talk to you soon..Glad to hear from you!!!!

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by cagirl

Hi....Ive been thinking about you wondering how your doing...That is great 3 1/2 days you should be proud of your self..Unfortunately the mental part is worse then the physical, you have to keep positive please dont take any pills your already past three days that is great it will get better it may feel like it wont but trust me it does cause I felt the same when I was quitting...everyday will get better, it sucks you have no support at home but you have alll of us here.You can do it hang in there its not gonna be easy, in the end it will be worth it!!! Talk to you soon..Glad to hear from you!!!!

Hi Phoebe
I just wanted to say everything that cagirl just said.LOL,listen to her.
Its going to get better everyday just hang in there. DON'T GIVE UP...
We are all cheering for you.
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by pbs8218

I seriously am considering getting back into it. Atleast it gave me energy. It gave me a "happy" feeling, if only for a few hours. I have two i've been holding since I quit and it's taken every inch of my soul not to take (perc).

I am so physically and mentally tired. My body aches mildly, and I really can't complain much about withdrawals. My husband has been a no show in the support department. I think that's what I think is killing me to the core. In about 9 years, I have NEVER tried to quit. Here I am, 3 1/2 days clean, and he has barely said a word about it. I WAS proud of myself, but am at the point where-whats the big f'n deal?

How long does it take til you feel a little better mentally? I can handle the physical, i've been fortunate not to have anything more than aches, pains, and tiredness. I feel more depressed than ever and have always been a depressed person. I take zoloft and welbuterin and it's not helping. I cry all the time and I am at the lowest point. Any input?

You are getting close to the point where things will start turning around for you. You should give this enough time for the miracle to happen. It doesn't happen in three days. You can't do this for HIM. It has to be done for you, because you want your life to change for the better. No way I would stop now. You're too close. God bless.

[learning_to_be_free]

Originally Posted by pbs8218

I seriously am considering getting back into it. Atleast it gave me energy. It gave me a "happy" feeling, if only for a few hours. I have two i've been holding since I quit and it's taken every inch of my soul not to take (perc).

I am so physically and mentally tired. My body aches mildly, and I really can't complain much about withdrawals. My husband has been a no show in the support department. I think that's what I think is killing me to the core. In about 9 years, I have NEVER tried to quit. Here I am, 3 1/2 days clean, and he has barely said a word about it. I WAS proud of myself, but am at the point where-whats the big f'n deal?

How long does it take til you feel a little better mentally? I can handle the physical, i've been fortunate not to have anything more than aches, pains, and tiredness. I feel more depressed than ever and have always been a depressed person. I take zoloft and welbuterin and it's not helping. I cry all the time and I am at the lowest point. Any input?

I have done every drug under the sun and was about a year into a daily vic problem when I got preg. stopped c/t I felt bad emotionall/physically but couldnt tell if it was pregnancy related or w/d but it was worse than my 1st preg. I felt better in a couple wks and through out the rest of my pregnancy I stayed clean 15months then i started taking oxy I was taking oxy's daily and went on a vacation w/o pills for a week I felt like I had the flu and I was and still am a very deppressed person but I didnt know I was addicted intill I got back and my flu was immediatly cured by taking an oxy I realilzed my addiction but did not stop. those pills "helped" me live a better life energy, happiness,interactive with others...so I thought! my addiction was soon out of contol spending way too much $, always seeking, I was on pills all the time even before I got out of bed. I tried to quit and the w/d were bad....so I thought. so I gave in again & went to a methadone clinic which was a miracle...so I thought. no more drug seeking, money less of an issue, no abusing any pills but I was a prisioner to the clinic I worked their program, did everything right, passed all drug tests ect. after a year the methadone started to turn on me I stopped caring about everything and my body was also paying a price. i had to fight them to lower my dose constantly when I got to what I thought was low enough I jumped it was 9 days of unimaginable hell I still think to this day I was really was dieing, so I gave in again & went back to the pills I tried to taper but the methadone was much too strong for any amount of pills to help so now I am on suboxone and praying it will work but I have lost 6+years to just the opiates not counting the use before them, living numb, Im sure my kids think on some level that I dont love them as much as I used to because I got so numb to every feeling good or bad. I cry everyday for my life & my family. they didnt deseve this and neither did I.I think you should stick this out I wouldnt wish my story on my worst enemy and when your in w/d be it bad physically or not your mind isnt right your husband could be really trying maybe he is not bringing it up because he thinks he shouldnt. have you guys talked about it? did you tell him you wish for more support/a cheerleader we all need that but its hard for non-addicts to know what to do. your husbands support will probably not be enough no matter what he does you need someone who understands this I really hope you decide to stick with it I am amazed at your strenght to have the pills and not take them I think you are ready and if lack of recognition is hurting the process tell him so I will be praying for you to have a speedy recovery but even if it takes time which it probably will especially since you were depressed already it will be worth it!!!

[OXYmom]

Dear PBS-
I know the pain you are going through. I am so thankful that you came and posted on this board. This is where I ended up last week. I had been reading on here for a while and then last week I was having bad w/d and I registered and posted about it on here. Since then I have met wondersul supportive people and made at least one new friend.

I was hooked on vicodin, then percocet and ended with oxys. I was taking around 120 mgs a day when I ran out and robbed all the pill bottles I could find. I could have gone through the w/d and then gotten another Rx at the end of the month like I was doing each month. But, there was something different about this time. I want to be finished with the pills. They were turning me into someone I hated. I was fine when I had them, that is what I thought. But, looking back I realize that I was not fine.

I want to tell you that things will get better. Since you are going cold turkey, please look up "Thomas Recipe". The L-tyrosine and Mega B complex supplements are very helpful. So are hot showers, baths if you can stand to sit still, walks- I made it to the mailbox the first day. That was enough. Just anything you can think of. Make hot tea, drink juice, and I know this is out there- but it might help you to take some stool softener. The sooner you can get the poison of the pills out of your system, the better.

As far as your husband is concerned- He may be scared to get his hopes up. Or he may just not know what to say. I was feeling that way and one night we went to bed and he grabbed my hand and kissed it and said, "I am very proud of you." They can't read our minds like we want them to, so maybe you could tell him that you are hoping he can be supportive. If he can't be- we will still be here for you!

If you need to talk please PM me. Things will get better. Life is waiting for you to live it without the pills. That is the best part!

[renagade281]

Buy a nintendo wii. Sounds funny but it worked for me

[money_chick]

My husband left while I was detoxing.

My house went into foreclosure the same week.

I was flat assed broke.

That was just two months ago, and it was definelty my lowest point.

BUT. I stayed clean.

Yeah, life still sucks sometimes. Not as much as the days when I was in wds cause I couldnt find drugs.

Not as bad as the day I spent my daughter class ring money on oxys.

Not as bad as the weeks we ate peanut butter and jelly so I could have drugs.


You're right, life will still suck sometimes.


But that will NEVER be an excuse for me. EVER.

Because I'd rather it suck sober, than high. I was headed for death. Now I have LIFE.

I wish you strength. I thnk you have it in you.

[pbs8218]

I messaged you back through my email, please check