I really think this is it

[Stella Blue]

Okay, so I have an appointment with a Suboxone doctor next week. I'm done with this stuff. And after three years of turning a blind eye and a deaf ear, I'm finally fed up with my so called boyfriend, partner, whatever he is as well. He has just crossed the proverbial line.

Why ?

Well, in a fit of w/d's I called him crying for support since I have no one else to share this agony with. It's embarrassing as hell.

His response ?

"I don't care if you drop dead".

Wow. Okay.

It looks like this coming week of detoxing and purging will be more than just the vicodin. It will include him too.

I have no idea how bumpy this ride is gonna be though and I'm just scared to death. And I'm starting to think some counseling on top of the Suboxone is not a bad idea.

Unf*ckingbelievable.

How can someone after three years turn their back at a time like this ????

Just unbelievable.

[Cats Meow]

Sorry Stella, you picked a jerk. If you're in W/D's now and you have to wait until next week to see a SubO doc, the worst of it should be over with by then, instead of taking Sub, can't you try and stay of the vicodin instead?

[Stella Blue]

Hey Cat's, thanks for the response.

While I may have picked a macho, show-no-feelings kind of guy, deep down, he cares. He knew how bad I was suffering and did something to fix it. When I started getting really hysterical and crying (I cannot believe I did that ) he told me not to worry and that we are going to do this the right way.

Not to say cold turkey is the "wrong" way but I was climbing the walls and sick as hell. So we both think the Sub doc is the way to go in this case.

As for the withdrawals I was in....I will NEVER forget that. And in a way I'm glad I felt them to that degree.

So maybe I was almost through the worst of it, I dunno. I've never tried to kick cold turkey, just one other time a couple of months ago with 5 Sub tabs I was given. All I know is that I could not control my body and I thought I was dying. Dramatic, yes I know, but the truth.

I just thank god for this Suboxone stuff and I can't wait to get to the Dr. and get rid of this once and for all.