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I need to hear that this will get better.
  1. #1
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    Default I need to hear that this will get better.

    8 years ago I was bumped by a fork lift at work. I have been on pain killers since that time, in progressively larger amounts. Each summer, when I went off them for a week or so, or at least scaled down the amount considerably, so that smaller amounts of the drugs worked when I went back on them. I guess I also wanted to prove to myself I could stop taking them if I wanted to. My doctor swore that I wouldn't get addicted to them as long as there was a true need for pain relief. This summer I couldn't stop so I decided it was time to quite narcotics and try alternate forms of pain relief - maybe acupuncture- I'll deal with that this fall when I really start to hurt more.

    I've spent the last month tapering down my meds. I was on 60 mg of morphine, 50 mg of percocets, 30 mg Flexeril, and on really bad days I took a couple 7.5 Vicodin. I got it down to 1/2 morphine and 1/2 vicodin. Today is the first day with nothing. Each time I reduced the amount of meds, I went through some withdrawls, mostly joint pain, backache, and RLS. I haven't really slept in about a month now. I thought that since I did this over time it wouldn't be so bad but I seem to be wrong. I'm using the Larry Recipe, which is like the Thomas recipe except you are not using xanax or valium. Basically it has all the natural supplements without adding any more drugs into your system. I just need to know how long until normal sleep returns. Nights are sooooo horrible! I can't get comfortable, my legs ache terribly. I wind up half the night on the porch swing smoking cigerettes. I don't think I've ever smoked this much in my life!

    The worst part is my husband, I think. I have vicodins and morphine left. He's constantly telling me to take a pill so I feel better. I would just throw them out, but somehow, just knowing that they are there, even though I'm not taking them, makes me feel better - sounds stupid, I know.

    I guess nighttime is coming and I'm just not looking forward to another night awake. I got Valerian today, along with Kava so I'm hoping that will help some. Any other non-drug suggestions you have would be welcomed.

  2. #2
    ClassiqueMom is offline Senior Member
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    hi sherryMN,

    glad you found your way here..
    others who have gone thru what you have, will come by soon ..

    i wanted to wish you my best, and offer prayer for you.. and..
    mention that my son has started drinking ALOT of (and even starting to crave) milk .. and ovaltine..

    it's got lots of minerals and the milk is protein AND something that has forever been known to help enduce sleep.. don't know what it is.. but it's an old remedy.. milk to help one sleep.. maybe? add that to the larry recipe.. checked it out.. and looked good to me! you don't wanna add benzo's if you don't need to!

    all my best! and prayers!, too!
    Classique MoM
    Last edited by ClassiqueMom; 07-24-2012 at 07:38 PM.
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    P - R - A - Y - E - R
    When life gets too hard to stand...KNEEL !

  3. #3
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Mom meant the "Thomas Recipe" not "Larry". Oh Mom, that was funny. I'm not poking fun, I just got a good laugh. Cute! Welcome Sherry. Can you get some Melatonin? STAY AWAY FROM BENZO's! Please try without them first. Taken for two weeks can be okay, but not many people can give them up after that. What about Tylenol PM? It's a drug, but not a hardcore addictive one.
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    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

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  4. #4
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    Thank you for writing so soon. I'd forgot about milk. My granma used to give me warm milk a long time ago to help me sleep. Thanks for reminding me! Also thanks for the prayer. I don't think I could have come this far without God's help... I must pray about 20 times a day! Anyway.... I just put the milk in the microwave to heat and will give it a try. Thanks again.

  5. #5
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    Thank you COMPLETELY CLEAN for the quick reply also. I've never heard of Melatonin but from what I've read so far I have no desire to try the Benzo's. I'm going to give Mom's milk idea a try tonight. If that doesn't work I'll go to the store and try the Tylenol PM tomorrow. Thanks for the suggestions and the encouragement.

  6. #6
    ClassiqueMom is offline Senior Member
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    noooo, (completely clean ) nadia! .. re-read her first post..

    there REALLY is a thing called the Larry Recipe! .. it's LIKE the Thomas Recipe W/out the benzo's
    plus some other stuff...

    glad you got a chuckle .. laughing is good medicine, ya know?

    sherryMN .. cook it on the stove.. don't 'nuke' it.. wanna keep that milk as natural as possible
    hope it helps! .. the tylenol pm was good idea too!

    alll my best! and prayers!, too!
    Classique MoM
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    P - R - A - Y - E - R
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  7. #7
    iwantoutnow is offline Member
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    i used benadryl to help me sleep. it can also help the rls and anxiety too. i stopped while i was pregnant and benadryl was the only thing i could really take for the insomnia and it really helped a lot so you may wanna give that a try as well.
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  8. #8
    deleted116 is offline Member
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    Sherry, congrats for taking the first step....and yes, I can tell you that it most definitely gets better! Unfortunately the thing that helps the most with that is time....

    But keep treating your symptoms, and maybe try Benadryl to sleep. I am about 5 1/2 months clean from an oxycodone habit (4 yrs on and off of about 90 mg/day....at my worst 180mg per day). The sleep is always the last thing to go back to normal....but the great news is that it DOES go back to normal. What helped me most this time around was staying as active as I could during the day. I think my body was so exhausted by bedtime that it had no choice but to sleep a bit. I sweated ALOT during the night in the beginning....and I was up about every 2 hours...but in between I did sleep and probably got about 5 hrs a night.

    Try to take walks, listen to as much music as you can and take nice hot showers. All of that stuff will help. Oh, and drink a TON of water. I would notice that on days that I felt the worst, I would realize that I hadn't drank alot of water. If I chugged a glass right then, I would almost instantly feel better. I've said this many times, but I feel like I was more succesful this attempt because I just allowed myself to feel however I was going to feel. When I finally laid down at night I would think "another 24 hrs gone...maybe tomorrow I'll feel better". Alot of times I just felt the same the next day....but then at some point I did start feeling better. I had lingering stomach/chills issues for about the first 30 days. Mentally I started to see some real changes around Day 45 or so. And every phase just keeps changing. Keep up the good work and you'll start seeing changes too! It's worth it!
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  9. #9
    Sunny mom is offline Member
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    Hi Sherry, it gets better!! I too needed to hear that and it does! I totally agree with what Moon said, completely relate...I allowed myself to feel however...when i felt good, I would get stuff done. When i felt bad, I would just muddle through as best I could. I remember one day, feeling pretty awful, and I just started laughing...I thought, wow, this s*cks, but I just found it funny...don't let the bad times intimidate you into taking something. Also, as much as I didn't want to, I would get out of the house, walk my dogs, swim a bit in the pool, and that really helped. What helped the most was walking with my dogs...just around my neighborhood...just seeing other houses, kids playing, people riding their bikes, helped me so much. As for you husband, does he know how your addiction has taken hold of you? Can't having him encouraging you to take a pill! I'm sure it's tough for him to see you struggling, if he's not aware of how much drugs have got a hold on you, I could see how he would want you to take something, thinking it will help you. My own experience is that i could NOT have my DOC around (which was Tramadol)...if I had them, i would take them. I know what you mean when you say you feel better just having some handy, but it's dangerous! Anyway, please take care and post often!

  10. #10
    shybaybe2003 is offline Senior Member
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    It does get better. It sounds like your doing all the right things. Stay away from the benzos. Drink ALOT of water and just take each day as it comes. Patience and faith my dear will get us thru anything
    Clean and Sober as of 4-25-2011

  11. #11
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    Thank you everyone for the encouragement! After last night, I needed it. I really thought that I was going to fall asleep around 11:30 but then all of a sudden it felt like I was hit by a truck. Shaking, stomach stuff, and RLS but in my arms and legs. I spent the night taking showers and hugging the toilet. I think my husband, Chip, finally understands a little of what I've been going through this past month.

    You are right about the water, it seems to help some. I finally figured out why having the pills around made me feel better. It made it my decision to quit and not that I had run out and needed to make another Dr. appointment. Last night I think I picked up those pill bottles 100 times and put them back down. Probably a good idea to get rid of them now.

    Bathroom calls...
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  12. #12
    Izzn is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SherryMN View Post
    8 years ago I was bumped by a fork lift at work. I have been on pain killers since that time, in progressively larger amounts. Each summer, when I went off them for a week or so, or at least scaled down the amount considerably, so that smaller amounts of the drugs worked when I went back on them. I guess I also wanted to prove to myself I could stop taking them if I wanted to. My doctor swore that I wouldn't get addicted to them as long as there was a true need for pain relief. This summer I couldn't stop so I decided it was time to quite narcotics and try alternate forms of pain relief - maybe acupuncture- I'll deal with that this fall when I really start to hurt more.

    I've spent the last month tapering down my meds. I was on 60 mg of morphine, 50 mg of percocets, 30 mg Flexeril, and on really bad days I took a couple 7.5 Vicodin. I got it down to 1/2 morphine and 1/2 vicodin. Today is the first day with nothing. Each time I reduced the amount of meds, I went through some withdrawls, mostly joint pain, backache, and RLS. I haven't really slept in about a month now. I thought that since I did this over time it wouldn't be so bad but I seem to be wrong. I'm using the Larry Recipe, which is like the Thomas recipe except you are not using xanax or valium. Basically it has all the natural supplements without adding any more drugs into your system. I just need to know how long until normal sleep returns. Nights are sooooo horrible! I can't get comfortable, my legs ache terribly. I wind up half the night on the porch swing smoking cigerettes. I don't think I've ever smoked this much in my life!

    The worst part is my husband, I think. I have vicodins and morphine left. He's constantly telling me to take a pill so I feel better. I would just throw them out, but somehow, just knowing that they are there, even though I'm not taking them, makes me feel better - sounds stupid, I know.

    I guess nighttime is coming and I'm just not looking forward to another night awake. I got Valerian today, along with Kava so I'm hoping that will help some. Any other non-drug suggestions you have would be welcomed.
    I agonized with restless leg for nearly 7 weeks, but it got a little better each night. I tried Melatonin for sleep too, but it seemed to make my RLS worse. Sleep will come, I promise you. It will come. The pain will get better too, as your muscles and nerve endings are hyper sensitive right now. I admit, there are times, often, when I KNOW if I had a pill in the house, I would take it. But I dont and I suck it up. I am never going through the agony of withdrawl again, mine was awful.

    Sherry, you are not alone. We are here with you. Please dont take anything. You have come so very far. May I suggest your mental outlook might be better if you got rid of the pills. open the bottles and fill the bottles with liquid soap and shake them. I hope you will have the same triumphant feeling that so many of us here have had.

    I am sorry your husband is not as supportive as you need. Perhaps his heart is in the right place and he just wants you to feel better. But you WILL feel better, SOON! You just have to get though this.

    For sleep I tried Sleepy Time Extra tea with valerian root in it. And I tried melatonin too. I took Vitamin D and fish oil supplements in the morning for the depression, and also LARGE DOSES (2500 mcgs) of Vitamin B12 that you put under your tongue. It's called sublingual. That all helped to keep me a bit balanced during the day and I just had to wait the weeks out till I could sleep.

    Please be strong, lady. We are praying for you!
    ClassiqueMom, toni.s. and SherryMN like this.

  13. #13
    Izzn is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SherryMN View Post
    Thank you everyone for the encouragement! After last night, I needed it. I really thought that I was going to fall asleep around 11:30 but then all of a sudden it felt like I was hit by a truck. Shaking, stomach stuff, and RLS but in my arms and legs. I spent the night taking showers and hugging the toilet. I think my husband, Chip, finally understands a little of what I've been going through this past month.

    You are right about the water, it seems to help some. I finally figured out why having the pills around made me feel better. It made it my decision to quit and not that I had run out and needed to make another Dr. appointment. Last night I think I picked up those pill bottles 100 times and put them back down. Probably a good idea to get rid of them now.

    Bathroom calls...
    You are doing it!!! Dont back slide. I know how awful you feel and not being able to get any rest to mend your body is even worse. I know. I had restless leg, restless back and (ahem) restless butt muscles. The back was the worst, like little electric jolts all the time and no way of relieving it.

    I know you are having diahreah and likely vomiting too. I know your nose is running like crazy. Get imodium and sudafed, it will help. Ginger Ale too. I tried potassium supplements for my RLS, and I dont think it really helped, but everyone is different.

    Please post back and let us know how you are.
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  14. #14
    Izzn is offline Member
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    I know I am hogging up your thread, but Sherry bendryl made my RLS much worse. And Tylenol PM, any of the PMs are loaded with plain old benedryl. But I know it does help some.

  15. #15
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    OK Mom, learn something new every day I guess. My bad? LOLz!!!
    Tylenol PM/Benadryl I swear DOES make RLS worse, you guys are right. Whenever I took it before to sleep I remember having to rub my feet together, or keep them moving to sleep. Now during pregnancy and newly jumping off Sub, I believe its the only thing I can safely take for sleep, but it makes the RLS worse. Sorry if I'm not making too much sense right now. I'm rambling a bit. Sherry, your not alone right now!!! Please get rid of those pills. Try some Immodium for the "bubblies". Also, try some Gatorade or Powerade with your water. If we get too watered down we lose minerals, and then add in diarreah...your minerals will get low real fast and make you feel worse.

    Very proud of you and in your corner. YOU CAN DO THIS. It will pass. Sherry, do you smoke green stuff? Not encouraging an additional addiction but IT CAN HELP.
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  16. #16
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    You are right. I sent my daughter for Benedryl this afternoon. It always made me sleep when I took it -until this time - and now i'm just praying that the jerking movements will just stop! If it does put me to sleep, it would be worth the jerky stuff. Thanks for talking to me... every little bit helps. can't type anymore, too hard with all the extra hand movement

  17. #17
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Sherry, Just want to say: Keep up the fight! Sleep? That will come in time. Good suggestions from people for that. Some people try sleepy time tea. Someone suggested gatorade for hydration? It may also help with the herky/jerky RLS. I knew someone with early onset parkinson's and that is what we used! I also used Hylands restful leg during w/d from vikes.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  18. #18
    deleted116 is offline Member
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    I finally figured out why having the pills around made me feel better. It made it my decision to quit and not that I had run out and needed to make another Dr. appointment. Last night I think I picked up those pill bottles 100 times and put them back down. Probably a good idea to get rid of them now.
    I can definitely understand feeling a difference between it being your choice to stop and just having the feeling that you had "run out". Any of the times that I had no access to pills and had to go through Day 1/2 because of it, it never stuck. As soon as the pills were around again, I took them. This time I could have gotten more pills if I wanted to, but I chose to stop.

    That being said, you are right that it is now time to flush them. They served their purpose by allowing you to feel in control. But that is going to turn on you. You are doing great, but you have hard days ahead. When the physical starts subsiding, the mental kicks in....hard. My worst days were actually around Day 9-16 or so....after I started feeling better physically. If I had had a stash of pills laying around in my house, I can't say that I wouldn't have caved. And then if you are to get past that stage, you'll get to the point where you feel so proud and in control that you have lasted, say, 3 weeks. You'll feel like "I lasted this long....I can take just 1 and be fine". And we all know that is wrong! You may still have all these feelings....but in the time it would take to make and go to a Dr.'s appointment, or call up the dealer, the craving will pass. If they are sitting in a bottle in your bathroom, it's just too close. ..

  19. #19
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    You all are so wonderful! As my grandson would say, "You're super cool!.

    Today was hard but I made it through another day. I even slept for the first time this week - a whole 2 hours. This may not seem like much, but it certainly brightened up my day along with all your messages.

    Pills are gone. I got this weird feeling and then kinda panicked. I'm glad they are gone now, but at the time I couldn't believe I was getting rid of them.

    I know everyone has their own problems but I can't thank you all enough for your support.

    I'm going to try to get some sleep now. Goodnight and God bless.

  20. #20
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Hey Sherry
    That RLS is pesky and troublesome. Try sitting on the edge of your bed and just lightly tapping your calf muscles off the edge of the bed or mattress. Make sure to get a little exersize. I know it sounds like a tall order, but even just some dancing or running in place will help heal your messed up brain and make you feel better. I'm glad you got rid of the pills, cause the temptation would be very great once this is over. That's when sadness and cravings kick in. It's happening to me right now. Your body wants endorphins so badly your subconcious mind will have those pills in your mouth before you even know what's going on. I hope you got some sleep last night.

    Nadia
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

  21. #21
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    You are right - I could just see myself rationalizing that I deserve a treat - glad they are gone.

  22. #22
    SherryMN is offline New Member
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    Hi. Today is a much better day. I fell asleep before 1am and slept the next 13 hours! I'm sitting here tapping my leg and it is helping. The RLS is much better today - more like a whisper than a shout.

    Nadia, you have come to far! I know you'll make it though this next phase. I guess we need to just take one day at a time and we will all be OK.

    Olympic's are just starting but I wanted to check in before watching them. Talk to you soon, Sherry

  23. #23
    rxqueen83 is offline Member
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    Heya Sherry! Look at that progress! Just days ago you were second guessing yourself almost. See! You did it! High five! Now all you (we) have to do is STAY CLEAN, everything else will fall into place.
    COMPLETELY CLEAN (Sub FREE) as of 7/20/12

    "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs LIKE ME" Marilyn Manson

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